Virtual "pen pals"?

[Vark]

One of my COVID wishes is to video chat with others around the world who I've never met (to talk about our lockdown experiences, politics, etc.). A quick Googling revealed that there are many sites for international romantic meetups, which is definitely NOT my goal, but none for people simply interested in a friendly chat. Any recommendations?

[downer]

There used to be "friendster" but that died. I'm pretty sure that if there were any open platform for video chatting with random people, it would instantly become dominated by sex.

The main example I've heard of people in the US chatting to people in other countries in a non-sexual way is teaching them English.

[Bonnie]

You could try the Slowly app. It is intended as a pen pal app. Of course some folks use it to pursue romantic/sexual relationships, but when I used it I managed to develop some interesting pen pal relationships.

[Deskman]

I, too, have sometimes thought that I would like to zoom with foreigners during the pandemic. Surprised to learn there's no way to make nonromantic international acquaintances unless it's by teaching English.

[Treehugger]

This is exactly what I have been doing. I am currently speaking with exchanges partners in Colombia, Peru & France.

I found my exchange partners through the site mylanguageexchange.com. The idea is language exchange, but it's also a great way to meet people living abroad. Don't worry about your level in the target language. If you show that you are sincerely willing to listen, help people with their English, and learn about their experiences, almost anything is forgiven in terms of language ability. In other words, just because you have a low level doesn't mean you have to team up with someone who is equally bad in English. In fact, I am absolutely sure some foreign participants would jump at the chance to have an "exchange" primarily in English. More practice for them!

BTW, I use both Skype and Zoom, depending on the partner and their preferences. But you can also start off exchanging emails, then move on to conversation later, if you feel like it.

Everyone I have met through this site (about 30 people over the years) was interested in cultural and linguistic exchange. I've had no solicitations or odd encounters. However, as you might expect, the key problem is compatibility (personality, time, expectations, etc.) so you need to be prepared to meet quite a few people before you find one you want to exchange long-term with.

However, I've gotten to be good friends with some partners and have even visited them in their home countries.

I see that previous posters mentioned "teaching English." You don't have to teach as in "give lessons." You just have to be willing to listen a non-native speaker speak to you in English. So, it's not at all just about grammar or verb conjugations. In fact, we hardly ever talk about language per se. Just this morning, I spent an hour talking to someone in Cartagena about Colombia's troubled political history as well as how the civil wars, drug trafficking, terrorism, etc. affected them personally. I certainly didn't feel like I was teaching anyone English.

[apl68]

I see that previous posters mentioned "teaching English." You don't have to teach as in "give lessons." You just have to be willing to listen a non-native speaker speak to you in English. So, it's not at all just about grammar or verb conjugations. In fact, we hardly ever talk about language per se. Just this morning, I spent an hour talking to someone in Cartagena about Colombia's troubled political history as well as how the civil wars, drug trafficking, terrorism, etc. affected them personally. I certainly didn't feel like I was teaching anyone English.

Yes, conversational partnering is a thing.  Never done it myself, but it sounds like a great opportunity.

[Vark]

Treehugger: Your suggestion sounds interesting, but would I have to sign up as someone who wants to learn another language (as per "language exchange")? Can I just sign up to help someone else learn English?

[ciao_yall]

This is exactly what I have been doing. I am currently speaking with exchanges partners in Colombia, Peru & France.

I found my exchange partners through the site mylanguageexchange.com. The idea is language exchange, but it's also a great way to meet people living abroad. Don't worry about your level in the target language. If you show that you are sincerely willing to listen, help people with their English, and learn about their experiences, almost anything is forgiven in terms of language ability. In other words, just because you have a low level doesn't mean you have to team up with someone who is equally bad in English. In fact, I am absolutely sure some foreign participants would jump at the chance to have an "exchange" primarily in English. More practice for them!

BTW, I use both Skype and Zoom, depending on the partner and their preferences. But you can also start off exchanging emails, then move on to conversation later, if you feel like it.

Everyone I have met through this site (about 30 people over the years) was interested in cultural and linguistic exchange. I've had no solicitations or odd encounters. However, as you might expect, the key problem is compatibility (personality, time, expectations, etc.) so you need to be prepared to meet quite a few people before you find one you want to exchange long-term with.

However, I've gotten to be good friends with some partners and have even visited them in their home countries.

I see that previous posters mentioned "teaching English." You don't have to teach as in "give lessons." You just have to be willing to listen a non-native speaker speak to you in English. So, it's not at all just about grammar or verb conjugations. In fact, we hardly ever talk about language per se. Just this morning, I spent an hour talking to someone in Cartagena about Colombia's troubled political history as well as how the civil wars, drug trafficking, terrorism, etc. affected them personally. I certainly didn't feel like I was teaching anyone English.

Thank you! I look forward to trying this!

[Treehugger]

Treehugger: Your suggestion sounds interesting, but would I have to sign up as someone who wants to learn another language (as per "language exchange")? Can I just sign up to help someone else learn English?

Yes, you have to sign up as someone who wants to learn another language... in the sense that you need to put it in your profile. But once people start contacting you, you can just tell them you're actually more interested in just doing everything in English. Some people may jump on the opportunity. Others not so much. Also, some may be a little suspicious about what your "real" motives are. They might think you re just interested in foreign romance, for example. However, if you are sincerely interested in only cultural exchange and friendship, I am sure you will be able to convey that to some people at least.

Personally, if I met someone on there who only wanted to speak French or Spanish with no or little English, and I trusted them, I would jump at the chance.

Another possibility, if you are not afraid of embarrassing yourself, is just say you are really, really really a beginner in whatever language it is. Then, when you have they exchange, you will fail miserably in the foreign language part and more or less naturally you'll both start doing everything in English. This actually happened in one of my French exchanges, but in the opposite direction. I had a great time speaking with her in French, but when she spoke with me in English, she was beyond horrible. After a few frustrating sessions, she just told me she preferred speaking in French while she worked on her English, which she never did. But now 10 years later, we still talk only in French. She is also one of the people I went to visit.

So, the answer is technically yes, but in reality, there are quite a few participants that will be very happy if it turns out you were not that serious (cough, cough) about learning their language.

Also, mylanguageexchange.com is just one of my language exchange sites. The others might be good too, but I've never tried them.

[Deskman]

Intriguing. I might like to try this. How secure is the mylanguageexchange.com site? How about other potential security issues?

[Treehugger]

Intriguing. I might like to try this. How secure is the mylanguageexchange.com site? How about other potential security issues?

I've never had any security issues with it. The site looks old-fashioned (they haven't changed the interface in at least 15 years and probably more), but like I said, I haven't had any issues. If you want to be able to contact people you have to pay a little. I think it's like $5 or $6 for one month (and they don't automatically renew it, so you don't have to remember to cancel). Or you can just post a profile for free and wait for people to contact you.

[mamselle]

I have the opposite problem.

I have several colleagues who are also friends, with whom I can't keep up with on emails and texts, let alone phone calls.

Some are in English, some French, some mixed.

It is fun, though, having a sense of connection to places in the world that aren't yours.

M.