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How Do You Handle Quiet Spaces?

Started by fishbrains, January 06, 2021, 11:20:29 AM

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AmLitHist

From about 5th or 6th grade on, my mother and I would go through the same routine almost every morning until I no longer lived in her house: 

If left alone, I'd get up, get ready for school/work, and not say anything until "Goodbye" as I walked out the door. She could handle it for about 30 seconds once we were in the same room, and then invariably she'd start in:  "So, what are you mad about today?" 

Me:  "Nothing.  I just don't have anything to say."

Mom:  "Well, you always go around here like your mad half the time [and the contradiction of "half the time" and "always" drove me nuts way back then].  You won't even talk to a person."

When Dad was still alive, he'd give her The Look and sometimes tell her to leave me alone. He was the quiet type, too, and generally wouldn't answer her when she'd go on a rant at him (a trick I adopted because she was one of those you could never win against, once she got on a roll, as happened about once a week. Of course, not responding made it go on that much longer, but I got good at blocking her out).

There's a reason my Fora sig line used to be Sartre's "Hell is other people at breakfast."  It's not that I can't wake up or get going in the morning; I just need that quiet time (which is why my hour commute is just fine).  It's nice to be reminded here that I'm not the only one who values the quiet.  ALHS and Kid #1 can't abide quiet, but Kid #2 is like me, which is probably why she and I get along so well.


polly_mer

I love the TV as background noise when I'm doing something that requires so little thought that my mind will drift and I'll get nothing done on the boring task.  When I'm entering data or triaging emails, I must have something more as input or my mind will start doing squirrely things like "I wonder how much squirrels eat on a daily basis" or "Why were salt tablets a thing?"  Then, it's a good hour or two down the internet rabbit hole of shiny clicks instead of finishing the boring task that must be done.

Sometimes, I will purposely put on the television and then deal out a deck of cards for solitare or Candy Crush on the tablet.  Two low-level inputs distract me enough that I may then have a Eureka moment on whatever big problem needs to be solved, but direct thinking isn't cutting it.

I pretty much only listen to the radio in the car.  If I'm in heavy traffic, then I'll shut it off so I can concentrate.  However, the quiet drive around here means my mind will drift if all I have to do is keep track of staying on the road.  I have driven miles out of my way because I was alone with my thoughts and not paying attention to the road.  It's better to have the frequent commercial interruptions that redirect my attention back to my current physical position.

If I've fallen into the page doing deep thinking, then as long as no one physically touches me, they can do almost anything and I won't notice.  I have been forcibly notified of fire alarm drills by neighboring offices due to thinking too hard at work.

Nearly every night, I am reading in the same room where Mr. Mer is watching TV.  We're sort of engaged in the same activity because I have half an ear on the TV and both eyes on my book.  I've seldom had to reread a page in the book because of divided attention, but multiple times a month, I will have to ask how the murder mystery ended because I didn't catch it and the TV was not interesting enough to follow the whole way.
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!