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the "things you wish you could say" thread

Started by archaeo42, May 30, 2019, 01:30:59 PM

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histchick

Quote from: Vkw10 on November 30, 2020, 07:23:17 PM
Raises? You asked about raises? (Manic laughter)

Sounds like another breathtakingly idiotic statement! Theirs, not yours. 


fishbrains

Quote from: the_geneticist on November 30, 2020, 08:58:47 AM
Unrelated:

Why on earth did you think that given the choice between:
1) attending a family get-together with folks from 6+ households during a Pandemic*
2) declining and risking your in-laws being a bit upset with you
that choice #1 was the better choice?!?
You work in healthcare, you have 2 young children, and you and your spouse both have jobs that can't be done from home.
No, I will not feel sorry for you as you shelter in place, have to use up 2 weeks of leave, and can't have your at-risk parents babysit for you.
Life is full of choices, choices have consequences.  You chose poorly.

*And at least 1 person tested positive immediately after

Hey! Get out of my life, geneticist!

And daughter #2 is now laying down the guilt trip about us (the grandparents) not "wanting" to watch the baby until they test negative. Fun times.

I wish I could find a way to show people how much I love them, despite all my words and actions. ~ Maria Bamford

the_geneticist

Quote from: fishbrains on December 01, 2020, 08:07:33 AM
Quote from: the_geneticist on November 30, 2020, 08:58:47 AM
Unrelated:

Why on earth did you think that given the choice between:
1) attending a family get-together with folks from 6+ households during a Pandemic*
2) declining and risking your in-laws being a bit upset with you
that choice #1 was the better choice?!?
You work in healthcare, you have 2 young children, and you and your spouse both have jobs that can't be done from home.
No, I will not feel sorry for you as you shelter in place, have to use up 2 weeks of leave, and can't have your at-risk parents babysit for you.
Life is full of choices, choices have consequences.  You chose poorly.

*And at least 1 person tested positive immediately after

Hey! Get out of my life, geneticist!

And daughter #2 is now laying down the guilt trip about us (the grandparents) not "wanting" to watch the baby until they test negative. Fun times.

Gah!  It happened in your family too?! 
I suppose some version of these events is happing all over the country right now.

teach_write_research

Dear Graduate Admissions Committee,
Skip this one. Generally awesome, but not clear on what they want to do.

FishProf

Quote from: teach_write_research on December 01, 2020, 10:46:54 AM
Dear Graduate Admissions Committee,
Skip this one. Generally awesome, but not clear on what they want to do.

I just wrote that letter, but I wasn't as pithy.
I'd rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.

jimbogumbo

Perhaps someplace on Parler would be better for your lunatic ravings?

fishbrains

Looky-here new neighbor four houses down:

We live in a semi-rural area. Everyone's big-dog is expected to keep critters away from the house and will generally kill anything non-human that gets over or through or under the fence, we have a small band of mangy coyotes that travels through once in a while, people like to dump unwanted dogs about a mile away on the other side of the woods, and critters dine on what people hit when they speed down our road. No one's looking for your "adventuring" cat because it done got ate by something. You killed it by letting it out of the house. It's gone.

And your neighbor two doors farther down isn't a "gun-nut." He's a combat vet who won't tell you what he did during the first Gulf War and who is also a retired police officer and weapons expert. If you are off-put by the gun-cabinet in his living room, imagine what he has that he doesn't show us. And, yes, it's unnerving when he opens the door before you knock, but he will be the first person to help you when you need it. And he's got cool equipment in his building, like a ditch-witch and a serious post-hole digger attachment for his lawn-tractor. And, oddly enough, he's a bit of a closet-liberal.

A rough welcome to the neighborhood, but it grows on you.
I wish I could find a way to show people how much I love them, despite all my words and actions. ~ Maria Bamford

Parasaurolophus

<@ everyone>

Enough with all the rankings, already!
I know it's a genus.

sinenomine

You started the meeting, which was scheduled to last an hour, by saying that it was your intention to wrap it up quickly and make it the shortest meeting in the history of meetings. It went overtime. Really? Do you hear yourself when you speak?
"How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks...."

mamselle

^Unrelated to the above...

"Can't be stodgy, ya
Gotta be nimble now; get
With the pro-gram, Zoom!"

M.

Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

AmLitHist

Quote from: Parasaurolophus on December 08, 2020, 06:02:35 PM
<@ everyone>

Enough with all the rankings, already!

This is one of the top five things I've read on the internet this week.

Vkw10

Stop freaking out because you didn't get an official notification that a lab that just happens to be in our building is closed because someone who worked in the lab over the weekend reported possible COVID-19 exposure. You weren't in that lab. You have no reason to ever be in that lab. Your interaction with people in that lab is limited to a hello in passing. You're working from home. There's no way any stray virus particles can float up to your office and pass through the Internet to your home office to infect you.

By the way, I'm assigning you that freshman section with 300 students and one TA. Maybe that will keep you too busy to freak out over stuff that has nothing to do with you.
Enthusiasm is not a skill set. (MH)

polly_mer

It's not healing to quintuple down on "The last guy was a jerk".  The proper message should have been "It's a new day and there's a lot of big problems facing us.  Let's roll up our sleeves and get started.  The top three priorities are X, Y, and Z."

What's your plan to address any of the big problems facing us?

What are the top three priorities and how will they make big progress on any of the big problems?

What's going to be different as soon as you are in charge that will actually matter to addressing any of the big problems?

Yeah, the last guy was a jerk and left a mess.  I'm not seeing the reassuring "and now that grownups are in charge, everything will be better in a few months as we work the plan" message.  I'm seeing a lot of "the jerk left a mess and he was extremely jerky and messy while doing it".  Have you never seen a good leader take over to clean up the mess that a jerk left?
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!

ergative

Look, you were doing pretty well there, for a moment. The way you shut down my disapproval of your recent trip to Big City Five Hours Away by telling me that it was for a necessary medical scan for a congenital condition was masterful. I was stewing there in my misplaced judgment sweat, and feeling pretty bad.

Then you started talking about going to the theater during your trip to Big City, and I must say, that dried up my stewing judgment sweat pretty quick. Come on, dude. Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's smart. You should really know better.

OneMoreYear

Well, now I'm really sorry I asked. I was trying to something in the best service of the students of that course, but if there's going to be no flexibility, then so be it. Insinuating that I'm shirking, however, is a slap in the face, giving what I'm dealing with this semester. But, I have no power, so I'm not fighting this battle. Off to figure out how to cause the least problems for the students I was trying to help.