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bad puns and dad jokes

Started by traductio, December 17, 2019, 07:56:04 PM

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Stockmann

Two atoms are having a conversation:

-Ouch! I lost an electron!
-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm positive.

mahagonny

I was downtown when a bum asked for a handout. I was all set to give him couple dollars, then caught myself. I said 'wait a minute. How do I know you won't spend this on food?'

secundem_artem

I went to see a new rom-com last night.   It's a story about a Sasquatch flight attendant who falls in love with a heroic pilot.  It's called When Hairy Met Sully.
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

evil_physics_witchcraft

Quote from: secundem_artem on February 04, 2021, 09:46:56 AM
I went to see a new rom-com last night.   It's a story about a Sasquatch flight attendant who falls in love with a heroic pilot.  It's called When Hairy Met Sully.

Ha!

ergative

Quote from: secundem_artem on February 04, 2021, 09:46:56 AM
I went to see a new rom-com last night.   It's a story about a Sasquatch flight attendant who falls in love with a heroic pilot.  It's called When Hairy Met Sully.

The plot sounds like a Chuck Tingle story.

Cheerful

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me.  Such a nice jester!

ab_grp

In memory of my aunt (she really got me with these growing up):

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him!

How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way!


FishProf

What do you call a row of rabbits walking backward?

A receding hare line.
I'd rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.

mahagonny

A man who got shot out of a cannon gave the circus manager his notice, he'd be leaving in two weeks. The manager responded 'good luck to you. I don't know where we'll find another man of your caliber.'

fishbrains

My son kept trying to stick a fork in the electrical outlet, so I grounded him.  [rim shot!]
I wish I could find a way to show people how much I love them, despite all my words and actions. ~ Maria Bamford

secundem_artem

Do Bedouins tell flap flap jokes?
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

clean

Why dont pirates shower before walking the plank???







They figure that they will wash up on shore later.
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader

RatGuy

Reviving to respond to a different thread:

Smoking causes cancer.
Bacon causes cancer.
But smoking bacon cures it.

Cheerful

I know only one bad pun about paper.  It's tearable.

traductio

What to you call bears without ears?








B.