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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: archaeo42 on May 30, 2019, 01:30:59 PM

Title: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on May 30, 2019, 01:30:59 PM
As originally started by mountainguy

Title is pretty self-explanatory. Use this thread to say things that you wish you could say in real life, but know well enough to keep to yourself:

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?? Fire me??"

"That might have been trendy . . . in 1975."


What I Wish I Could Say (WIWICS): you don't get jokes, do you?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on May 30, 2019, 01:54:09 PM
Your attention is always divided between these two jobs and the one I'm working at seems to keep going mostly because I'm working at it and paying attention, and notifying you of things when needed.

Wish I could ask for both a raise and a title change; might at least start thinking about the latter; I know the former isn't likely since I also do the books...

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on May 31, 2019, 01:53:04 AM
Dear boss,

You are a dickhead.

Sincerely, SE
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 31, 2019, 05:46:50 AM
*laughter*

Oh, no.  Ah, no.  No.  NO!  NO!!!!

*laughter*
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sprout on May 31, 2019, 09:44:39 AM
I do not think your definition of need and my definition of need are the same.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: turing_complete on June 01, 2019, 04:33:52 PM
There are four authors on your paper.  Choosing the student who's about to graduate (and lose their email address before the camera-ready is submitted) as the only contact author was perhaps not the most foresightful option.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 01, 2019, 06:30:28 PM
We need someone who can collect and organize basic data for administrative reports. That doesn't require a master's in data science or anything else. Just sign it!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on June 01, 2019, 07:02:48 PM
To teen patron: you have too much time on your hands!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on June 01, 2019, 08:50:44 PM
When you let me reserve that classroom, you might have mentioned that you would be out that day and couldn't unlock it for me.  Now I don't feel as sorry about the stack of paperwork I'm about to dump on your desk Monday.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on June 02, 2019, 10:28:40 AM
To student emailer seeking new advisor:

Oh, my colleague told you to email me, eh? He's the one who recommended you contact me with this request? Hm. That's interesting.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 02, 2019, 03:56:13 PM
Why are you trying to tell us you didn't say it?  We all know you said it.

If that isn't what you meant, just say that.  We can understand that.  Now you just look ridiculous.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on June 03, 2019, 03:19:40 AM
Dear boss,

I was so right in my earlier description of you.

Best regards, SE
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Scotia on June 03, 2019, 06:22:15 AM
Dear boss,

I was so right in my earlier description of you.

Best regards, SE

You are so rarely wrong! I should know better by now, but I continue to be amazed at how the incompetent, the poisonous and, most dangerously, those who combine both traits, continue to rise up the career ladder while patently competent and good human beings are overlooked. It doesn't just happen in academia (see current government in UK and POTUS).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on June 03, 2019, 08:05:47 AM
Was there ever a moment during the week and a half between the task assignment and the deadline when you could have told me you were unable to complete the task?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on June 03, 2019, 08:41:15 AM
Can we please plan ahead and schedule meetings in advance?  You know, so we can get them on the books before we are all super busy?  Maybe have some time so if things go sideways it's not always a last minute crisis?
It's hard enough to get 6+ folks to find a day and time we can all meet, let alone if the organizer declares that we suddenly all have to meet with less than a week's notice.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on June 03, 2019, 02:45:46 PM
If only you had testicular/ovarian fortitude.

Or a spine.

Anything, really, that would enable you to stick to your guns and refuse to be steamrollered.

If only.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on June 03, 2019, 03:41:07 PM
Dear boss,

I was so right in my earlier description of you.

Best regards, SE

You are so rarely wrong! I should know better by now, but I continue to be amazed at how the incompetent, the poisonous and, most dangerously, those who combine both traits, continue to rise up the career ladder while patently competent and good human beings are overlooked. It doesn't just happen in academia (see current government in UK and POTUS).

Agreed. And it’s so depressing!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 03, 2019, 09:12:41 PM
Was there ever a moment during the week and a half between the task assignment and the deadline when you could have told me you were unable to complete the task?

If I'd had that much spare time, then I probably could have completed the task!

Sorry, I couldn't resist since I've been in that boat too much in the past few months as people assign new tasks and then accelerate the deadlines with almost no notice.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 04, 2019, 05:03:12 PM
You do know that the major in X was eliminated last year because no one had completed it in 7 years? And that no one had declared a major in X for 4 years? What makes you think I'd support a new program proposal for a major in X?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on June 06, 2019, 10:47:25 AM
I know what you did. You know what you did. We all know what you did.

(It was so obvious that a person with only two brain cells to rub together in his or her head would be able to figure it out.)

So let's not pretend the process was fair/transparent or the results legitimate.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on June 13, 2019, 01:51:02 PM
Go ahead and bluster all you like. It's not going to change the answer.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sprout on June 13, 2019, 04:00:14 PM
Were you seriously expecting full credit for that?  Did you think I wouldn't even glance at the extra credit submissions?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on June 13, 2019, 05:29:53 PM
Of course you were the only baby snowflake who could not provide feedback on a 1.5-page document in a week and a half despite pushing to be part of the "review" team AND being on my ass to get it sent out as early as possible (when I have had a few other things to do!).  I even gave you an extra couple days over the initial week you "suggested".   I guess you were just so much busier than all the others who took the time to respond.  Well, when I said the comment period has closed, that is what I meant!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on June 14, 2019, 12:06:17 AM
It was non-trivial to pick out the raisins from my meusli, add in the dried cherries, and chop up the apple, but I did it all and I left it to soak in milk knowing that it would be delicious. The fact that you didn't do any of these things to your muesli was entirely your choice. It's early, you need to get going, and you don't have the time to prepare your breakfast as carefully as I do.

But then you ate mine, and all I have to eat is your muesli, with no dried cherries, full of yucky raisins, and no chopped apple. WTF, man?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on June 14, 2019, 08:50:47 AM
Sure, I'll get all 120 student papers graded and entered within 72 hours. No problem
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 14, 2019, 05:36:06 PM
It was non-trivial to pick out the raisins from my meusli, add in the dried cherries, and chop up the apple, but I did it all and I left it to soak in milk knowing that it would be delicious. The fact that you didn't do any of these things to your muesli was entirely your choice. It's early, you need to get going, and you don't have the time to prepare your breakfast as carefully as I do.

But then you ate mine, and all I have to eat is your muesli, with no dried cherries, full of yucky raisins, and no chopped apple. WTF, man?

That's just mean!!!

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on June 15, 2019, 08:32:29 AM
That's some Kool-Aid you are drinking...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 15, 2019, 11:07:20 AM
Expertise in predictive analytics, machine learning, artificial intelligence, plus intermediate proficiency in Microsoft Excel? Are you trying to hire computer science faculty or an administrative assistant?

(I'm so glad we're not in the same college!)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 15, 2019, 06:04:18 PM
Have you hear the phrase: there's having N years of experience and then there's having one year of experience N times?

One problem we have is many of the remaining people have one year of experience N>20 times and a whole lot of new people who only have one year of professional experience once.

It'd be good if we were doing more to get folks who have about 10 years of experience in various combinations of X>3 years of experience Y>3 times to add up 10 years of something.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 16, 2019, 07:11:10 AM
The current system works and nobody is complaining. Find something else to improve!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 16, 2019, 07:32:48 AM
The current system works and nobody is complaining. Find something else to improve!

^Like.

Similar to the adage, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 17, 2019, 03:43:42 AM
Sending me something on Saturday night and telling me it MUST be done on Sunday (a holiday Sunday! when I am no longer on contract) is neither a way to get work done nor to endear yourself to any of us.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on June 18, 2019, 01:08:13 PM
Your grade isn't acceptable to me, either. But here we are.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on June 19, 2019, 11:08:54 AM
Hey, guess what?  If your system doesn't work, that is actually YOURS to fix.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: miss jane marple on June 19, 2019, 11:23:22 AM
I have asked you three times, in various ways I think will be clear and to the point, what you want me to do exactly. Telling me "the Armadillo sails at midnight" the first time, "the pen of my aunt is in the forehead of my uncle" the second time, and "very social science!" the third time is not getting us closer to a resolution.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on June 19, 2019, 12:59:58 PM
That meanspiritedness and petty behavior doesn't look good on you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 20, 2019, 05:57:25 AM
The instructions indicated this was a three-hour tour (a three-hour tour).  Having an unexpected six-hour tour means I have a big list of suggestions for things to cut from the next iteration since the stated goal is to bring us new folks up to speed.  I'm not sure I am up to speed because

(a) we only got to the stuff on which I actually work in hour 5, long after my back was explaining at great volume the problem with 5 hours standing on concrete.

(b) you had two posters on the thing I work on whereas we had beautiful, colored, full-scale models of everything else including things from decades ago that were a  dead-end after three months and things proposed before the mid-20th century that never made it out of the prototype phase.

(c) you spent a total of 5 minutes on the thing I work on, less time than you spent explaining where the ladies room was for the mid-tour potty break and even then we couldn't find the ladies room and had to come back for more instructions.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 20, 2019, 06:43:38 AM
Echoes of the theme from "Gilligan's Island," perhaps?

My tours always run pretty much as scheduled, unless interest is shown or I'm asked to go longer.

I also release anyone who needs to leave at the time they request, and try to address their interests first.

Just to let you know it can he done......

Sorry your back had to put up with all that.

A tour guide's inability/unwillingness to adhere to the discipline of timing the tour is a sign of egoisme.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 20, 2019, 07:09:01 AM
A tour guide's inability/unwillingness to adhere to the discipline of timing the tour is a sign of egoisme.

My bet is a key problem is our tour leader was not a professional tour guide.  Instead, we took a field trip to a museum where you provide your own tour guide so we had a working scientist in the knowledge area leading us along with two retired scientists who had spent their whole careers in the very specialized area contributing stories along the way.  As I told my husband, he would have loved this combination of The History Channel, Nova, Popular Science, and Old Guys Telling Stories.  We had an incredible and unique experience that was definitely worth the day spent.

My frustration really is the 6 hours* when I was planning for 3 and yet we skimped on the one area that has direct relevance for my work and that's true for about half the other people on the tour.  We have a running joke among my cohort of colleagues (all hired about the same time with different backgrounds and yet no one is an expert in this field) that we always start at the same date in history, go until someone runs out of breath, and yet we seldom even get up to things that happened in our lifetimes and we're over 40.  Some bringing-up-to-speed discussions don't even get us up to the transistor being in wide use, which is problematic since we're doing high-tech machinery along with high performance computing and a lot has changed since before the time of the transistor.

* and no lunch! On top of my no breakfast because we left here at 0-dawn-30 to make the lengthy drive and then a late supper because of the lengthy drive back.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: drbrt on June 21, 2019, 08:19:34 AM
Will you just TELL ME ALREADY if my class is cancelled?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 21, 2019, 10:17:55 AM
Please don't threaten to quit unless you get your way....unless you mean it.

Don't get my hopes up.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 21, 2019, 11:26:54 AM
OK, I've given you all the info you asked for, in spreadsheet form--and now you say you knew it all along.

This is starting to make it sound like I'm going to become the fall person.

I'm starting to look elsewhere--starting now.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: histchick on June 23, 2019, 04:22:47 PM
In the past couple of months, I have seen multiple job postings at our place change from external to "Internal Only" positions.  I doubt there's anything nefarious going on, but someone in HR clearly needs to up their game. 

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 24, 2019, 06:05:27 AM
Receiving criticism is hard.  However, staying in the bubble where no one ever criticizes means you're missing vital information that you could use to head off disaster.  Not knowing what people think means you are fixing the wrong problem.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: RatGuy on June 24, 2019, 07:46:52 AM
Keep your dog on a leash.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on June 27, 2019, 04:14:18 PM
Sorry I didn't get a decision on your paper out today.  There was a bunch of little squirrels hanging out right outside my office window all afternoon, and, you see, my husband really likes squirrels for some reason because they are apparently rare here (or at least compared to the billion squirrels I am used to).  So, I had to keep taking pictures from this window or that all afternoon, whenever I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.  He could use some cheering up.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
To library patron: Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: wellfleet on June 28, 2019, 02:37:34 PM
Please don't tell me the score for today's quarterfinal match, especially if you waltzed out of work to watch the whole thing at a sports bar while I held down the fort.

What I did say: (I*#$#! I recorded it to watch when I get home.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 29, 2019, 07:51:40 AM
We're all in sales every day.  The fact that you don't want to accept that reality and want somehow for the magic of the universe to reward you means you probably need another read of the excellent Cracked article: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/ (contains profanity and a NSFW video):

Quote
Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

and

Quote
"But the whole system is corrupt and on the verge of collapse, what difference does any of this make?" Friend, if the system falls apart, take everything I've said above and multiply it times a thousand. The person without skill and drive will not be given food. The new masters may fly the banner of equality, but you'll slowly notice that the talented and charismatic are still getting the best stuff. That won't change in your lifetime, or in the lifetimes of your great-grandchildren.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Scotia on June 29, 2019, 04:33:00 PM
Dear people in the neighborhood holding a loud party

It is past midnight. It is much too warm to sleep with the window closed. Please take the celebrations indoors. I'd even settle for you ceasing to sing loudly and very untunefully to the music you are blasting out.

I have to get up early tomorrow and have a long drive. My evil twin has already hatched a plan to ring your doorbell at 6 am tomorrow and run away.

Ta.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 30, 2019, 05:55:00 PM
Example NNNNNN of why I am not surprised your life isn't going as you would wish.  Have you considered perhaps learning from experience and advice from people who have succeeded instead of tripling down on the way things "should" be?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on July 01, 2019, 10:19:57 AM
What you are asking is both unethical and impossible, so no.  I'm not gonna.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on July 01, 2019, 10:31:50 AM
You suddenly realizing that you need DATA for your report, which is already past due, means you should politely ask your colleagues for the needed information, not demand a written summary.  And mentioning that it is late because "you were traveling" does not make me feel less grouchy at you.

AKA "Your failure to plan is not my emergency"
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on July 01, 2019, 01:31:26 PM
I wish you had asked me if the survey help desk was available until midnight in person. That way I could judge if you knew this question was as asinine as it is.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on July 01, 2019, 05:31:26 PM
Really. You really want to take over signing BS forms? Okay.

No, I don't feel like I lost any power. I gained a lot of free time. Have fun!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on July 23, 2019, 11:14:49 AM
Screaming at your toddler for being loud is . . . hypocritical, don't you think?

<smiling, showing all my teeth at the neighbor in the mother-in-law suite literally next door>
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on July 23, 2019, 12:02:13 PM
Ugggghhhhhh. And no, I do not want to review your book manuscript draft when you finish it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on July 23, 2019, 12:37:13 PM
Yes, we can ask each of the article authors to respond to that question within their pieces, but it's too limited and too limiting to make a whole issue about.

The content of the texts is certainly worth analyzing, but if that's all we do, it will leave out how the music functions, how it is different in different settings, how it speaks differently to different individuals, and how it draws people into the issue you want to get them to think about.

You can keep chopping at that one particular tree, sure.

But you'll lose the forest, for certain, if you do.

Because all the rest of the trees will tiptoe silently away and start singing someplace else....

M.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on July 24, 2019, 03:57:50 PM
Stepped in troll crap I did.  (Probably)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: DoohickeyTech on July 24, 2019, 09:06:17 PM
Long post detailing my last few months as I left academia. Ctrl+A and Backspace is all I have to say.

Peace.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on July 25, 2019, 02:33:24 AM
My dude, there is no happier indication of your recent tenure promotion than the fact that you waited until 9:00 AM Monday morning to respond to my email. Rock on, champ.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on July 25, 2019, 07:30:44 AM
Dear Dean,
After observing the screaming match in the hall today with a faculty member, it is clear that you have no limits and we can get away with, well, anything.  Thanks for making that clear.
All the other faculty members.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on July 27, 2019, 09:33:39 AM
Screaming at your toddler for being loud is . . . hypocritical, don't you think?

<smiling, showing all my teeth at the neighbor in the mother-in-law suite literally next door>

My teenagers pointed this out to me the other day in a moment of parental exasperation. I told them it's kind of like the way the police race at break-neck speeds to catch up to you and give you a ticket to let you know that speeding is wrong.

Then I gave them a thiry minute lecture on existentialist absurdism.

They said would prefer my hypocritical yelling.

I said it doesn't work that way. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on July 27, 2019, 06:45:57 PM
To patron: It's the same scenario when you come.  Can't remember how to do send things to print (or a simple task) on the computer, ask how to do it, apologize for not remembering, repeat. I've wasted more than enough time on simple tutorials with you!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on July 28, 2019, 09:41:49 AM
To patron: It's the same scenario when you come.  Can't remember how to do send things to print (or a simple task) on the computer, ask how to do it, apologize for not remembering, repeat. I've wasted more than enough time on simple tutorials with you!

Have you considered making up cheat sheets for common tasks and having them available for reference? 

My life got immensely better when I started having those for students and others who needed step-by-step instructions for basic things.  Just knowing I could hand over the proper sheet lowered my stress levels with those who refused to pay attention and take their own notes.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on July 29, 2019, 05:01:37 AM
Dude, you may be the world expert on this topic, but you're a terrible teacher.  Pro-tip: do not spend the whole morning of a two-day workshop showing stuff that is not even the topic of this workshop, but instead an advertisement for your next workshop.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: scamp on July 29, 2019, 07:18:09 AM
Screaming at your toddler for being loud is . . . hypocritical, don't you think?

<smiling, showing all my teeth at the neighbor in the mother-in-law suite literally next door>

My teenagers pointed this out to me the other day in a moment of parental exasperation. I told them it's kind of like the way the police race at break-neck speeds to catch up to you and give you a ticket to let you know that speeding is wrong.

Then I gave them a thiry minute lecture on existentialist absurdism.

They said would prefer my hypocritical yelling.

I said it doesn't work that way.

Ha!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Porcupine on July 29, 2019, 09:22:25 AM
No, sister-in-law, the extended debate you initiated on "what I am" in relation to your toddler since I'm not a blood relative, and whether "aunt-in-law" is the right term to differentiate me from your toddler's "proper" uncles, didn't make me feel excluded. After all, I've known you since you became a teenager! <cheeks aching from smiling>
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on July 29, 2019, 10:48:48 AM
Nice, useful little town library, WHY did you have to replace a remote printing system that worked decently with the clunky, unresponsive nonsense you have now??????????

I can't choose page numbers, can't choose to print multiple pages, can't even define B/W or color.

The other system did all those things.

This one doesn't.

New, Improved!

Right.

GRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on July 29, 2019, 12:06:55 PM
No, sister-in-law, the extended debate you initiated on "what I am" in relation to your toddler since I'm not a blood relative, and whether "aunt-in-law" is the right term to differentiate me from your toddler's "proper" uncles, didn't make me feel excluded. After all, I've known you since you became a teenager! <cheeks aching from smiling>

I'm baffled by this. An aunt is a relation through blood or marriage. That is a bizarre distinction to make (says the anthropologist).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on July 30, 2019, 05:01:48 PM
Dear graduate student, I appreciate your attention to detail.  You are truly amazing at catching the smallest of grammar inconsistencies.  But until you learn the skill of giving feedback without being so blunt-yet-agonizing-over-every-tiny-typo, you are going to seriously P___ Off a lot of people.  You know, like your collaborators, committee members, other graduate students, your advisor, etc. etc. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on July 30, 2019, 06:31:22 PM
Yes, Fearless Leader, I did include your favorite word.  I'm well aware that you wouldn't approve a lunch menu that didn't include "technical."

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: bio-nonymous on July 31, 2019, 06:45:49 AM
It seems that your nefarious plan has been executed and you got your way. Do not patronize us by "apologizing" for how it all went down and wishing that things had worked out for the rest of us. Evil!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 01, 2019, 07:25:33 AM
A student came to challenge the grade you assigned in your course. I spent a couple hours documenting the issue.

I came to you about the grade challenge and you assured me the calculations were correct. 

So I denied the challenge.

Then the Dean proposed to overturn my denial.  And I protested strongly, basing my protest on the clarity and completeness of your calculations.

Then you found a major error in the calculation. And changed the grade.

The Dean looks effective (got the grade changed), you look beneficent (found and admitted an error), and I look like a [pick your pejorative].

So, thanks for that.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Porcupine on August 01, 2019, 01:26:00 PM
No, sister-in-law, the extended debate you initiated on "what I am" in relation to your toddler since I'm not a blood relative, and whether "aunt-in-law" is the right term to differentiate me from your toddler's "proper" uncles, didn't make me feel excluded. After all, I've known you since you became a teenager! <cheeks aching from smiling>

I'm baffled by this. An aunt is a relation through blood or marriage. That is a bizarre distinction to make (says the anthropologist).

I find it weird too. As best as I can understand, it's not really about any supposed distinction. My sister-in-law likes to start these sorts of discussions/make such remarks to ensure that I am publicly reminded of the (lowly) place in the family pecking order that she thinks I deserve. I do my best to grin and bear it, so that Mr. Porcupine doesn't have to referee any arguments, which would make him exceedingly unhappy.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on August 02, 2019, 05:05:26 AM
No, sister-in-law, the extended debate you initiated on "what I am" in relation to your toddler since I'm not a blood relative, and whether "aunt-in-law" is the right term to differentiate me from your toddler's "proper" uncles, didn't make me feel excluded. After all, I've known you since you became a teenager! <cheeks aching from smiling>

I'm baffled by this. An aunt is a relation through blood or marriage. That is a bizarre distinction to make (says the anthropologist).

I find it weird too. As best as I can understand, it's not really about any supposed distinction. My sister-in-law likes to start these sorts of discussions/make such remarks to ensure that I am publicly reminded of the (lowly) place in the family pecking order that she thinks I deserve. I do my best to grin and bear it, so that Mr. Porcupine doesn't have to referee any arguments, which would make him exceedingly unhappy.

Ooof. Family dynamics are so much fun.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on August 02, 2019, 10:36:16 AM
Dear Car Dealership:

Thank you for the nice letter telling me that you would like to help me upgrade my ride to (something that sounds spiffy and fishy at that same time).

Your calculations are interesting to me:  first, you value my current vehicle at about 60% of what the state does (according to my registration information); second, you are confident that I will save $600 on fuel costs over the next five years with this upgrade; third, you are sure that the minimum $21,000 I'll have to spend will be completely worthwhile since, after all, new vehicles have WARRANTIES!

I do have an idea about how you came to perceive me as a potential cash-cow.  I do not have any idea how you came to think me completely stupid.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. T. Child
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 02, 2019, 11:14:35 AM
Because you are an a$$hole . . . to everyone . . . all the damn time. That's why.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 02, 2019, 12:06:36 PM
One presumes the above note by fishbrains is not related to the antepenultimate note bu Thursday's Child....correct?

;--}

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on August 02, 2019, 12:13:38 PM
I certainly presume so - without the slightest hesitation, in fact, because the post does not accurately describe me.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 02, 2019, 12:44:36 PM
I thought not.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 03, 2019, 09:38:46 AM
One presumes the above note by fishbrains is not related to the antepenultimate note bu Thursday's Child....correct?

;--}

M.

Not at all. I'm sorry if my post sounded that way.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 04, 2019, 10:39:10 AM
It was an interesting juxtaposition.

Glad to know that's all it was....

;--]

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on August 05, 2019, 08:14:50 AM
Colleagues, I appreciate that all these emails are an indication that this particular administrative role that I've made my own will revert to me after my research leave is done. I do, I truly do appreciate it. But, colleagues, I'm on research leave. My replacement can take care of it! I don't care! It's her job! Leave me out of it! Don't send me the emails!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 05, 2019, 12:06:23 PM
There.

That room's clean...

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Juvenal on August 05, 2019, 12:18:09 PM
Cool, dry weather is just around the corner.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sprout on August 05, 2019, 12:44:27 PM
There.

That room's clean...

M.

*laughing*  I so wish I could say that!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 11, 2019, 03:38:13 PM
Hey Alpha Wolfcub and Gynosaurus Rex: Neither one of you are "winning." And you two toxic a-holes aren't going to have a seat at the table much longer if you both don't turn the attitudes down a couple of notches. Maybe consider turning all those insecurities into something a little more positive.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 12, 2019, 07:24:54 AM
You saw the Job Posting online, which specified that you apply ONLINE, and you thought it best to email me you CV to see if I am interested? 

No, I'm not interested, now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on August 13, 2019, 05:10:20 PM
How about now?

If I add sprinkles???

<runs laughing demonically>
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on August 14, 2019, 05:51:46 AM
If you wanted a cleaner copy than you should have asked for that. Using 'soft copy' in your initial email was not clear at all.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 14, 2019, 06:18:53 AM
I really did tell you so.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on August 14, 2019, 10:16:27 AM
To library patron: Not interested in talking to you.  Go back to the teen section and entertain your fellow teens.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: miss jane marple on August 14, 2019, 11:31:42 AM
Don't ask me a "how do you get the software to do this?" question and then growl at me when I give you the answer.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on August 14, 2019, 11:46:05 AM
If I sent you a gift-wrapped GCF would you get the hint and leave?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on August 15, 2019, 01:28:37 PM
Dear colleague,

[redacted infinite scream].

This is the most poorly run and adversarial organization that I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with, to put it lightly.  Maybe you should try reading for understanding rather than skimming and replying hastily from your smarter-than-you phone.  Well, at least it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on August 16, 2019, 02:48:10 PM
There is no way you can finish that project in a month.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: wareagle on August 16, 2019, 09:59:36 PM
I got a job offer!

(just wishin')
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 17, 2019, 04:52:28 AM
I got a job offer!

(just wishin')

That's a great wish!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on August 21, 2019, 05:00:23 AM
1. You are chewing gum. I can smell it from here.

2. You are drinking instant coffee.

3. Simultaneously. I mean--I can't . . . what--how even--is that-- . ..

. . .

?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 21, 2019, 09:40:50 AM
Looky here: I'm on a serious sobriety binge right now, and I'm not dealing with stupid $hit very well. And you have decided, for some reason, to turn yourself into a walking, talking piece of stupid $hit. My patience wears thin . . .
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Anselm on August 21, 2019, 03:03:23 PM
Notice to all short people: 
If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on August 28, 2019, 08:03:53 AM
What part of, "I will update you when I know more," is unclear to you? It hasn't even been a full 24 hours and you're asking for an update? (This is also information that I can't provide and I'm relying on a technical person to address the question).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 28, 2019, 09:28:04 AM
For a software firm meant to serve mostly accountants, your customer service sites, practices, and serious glitches are nearly unfathomable....unaccountably, unacceptably so, in fact.

I'd change firms if it were up to me, but it's not.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on August 28, 2019, 09:35:27 AM
Notice to all short people daughter who is the same height as me, if not maybe an inch taller: 

If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!

(And WHY do you find it necessary to put the seat way up under the blessed steering wheel?  And HOW can you even drive like that?!)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on August 28, 2019, 09:42:48 AM
Notice to all short people daughter who is the same height as me, if not maybe an inch taller: 

If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!

(And WHY do you find it necessary to put the seat way up under the blessed steering wheel?  And HOW can you even drive like that?!)

And, if the airbag goes off when you're that close, it'll really do you harm!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on August 28, 2019, 04:54:03 PM
And this is why we can't have nice things.

(Multiple recipients)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 28, 2019, 04:59:27 PM
If you are going to write thank you notes for interviews, please proofread. It's better not to send them than to send them with multiple spelling errors, the wrong position title, and the wrong institution name.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: onehappyunicorn on August 29, 2019, 10:23:55 AM
When your dire predictions on how events will affect our department fail to materialize, repeatedly, it is difficult for me to muster the amount of panic you feel I should exhibit. I honestly don't know what to say when you tell me that you are concerned that I don't understand how bad every situation is.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Dismal on August 29, 2019, 12:22:04 PM
When you hire a well-known retired government official and pay them $100K for a half-time, nine-month job at a state U, this person actually has to work.  Teaching, research, service and outreach - any combo of these.   And our nine month contracts don't include fall vacations of a week or more.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 29, 2019, 04:34:01 PM
"Do more with less" is so last century. Today, the phrase is "be flexible and adapt to changing needs."

Yes, we heard about tight budgets. Again.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Professor Autumn on August 30, 2019, 06:49:06 PM
collaboration means that....working together.... hopefully to make things better...to learn, from each other

i said similar, in a more grumpy way coz i'm tired and ill

what i wish i could say is, i don't want to do this anymore if we can't at least talk about things
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 31, 2019, 01:20:14 PM
To two different people:

1. Making the students print everything at their own cost isn't "going paperless" you smug little f*ck.

2. I've made my thoughts clearly known concerning the area this committee covers, and my opinions are at odds with, and far more informed than, the other "stakeholders" on the committee (and, yes, it's very very unusual for me to know more than others on any given committee). Also, this isn't an area I compromise on. I don't know if you are f*cking with me or if someone is f*cking with you by putting me on this committee, but the College will regret this assignment.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on September 01, 2019, 08:42:54 AM
Bloviated, grandstanded, misrepresented lack of recall about your 30 year old social justice work doesn't give you any credibility.  As a matter of fact, using your position for self enrichment at the expense of the people you represent....... well, I'll let you figure it out.  Just shut up. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Bede the Vulnerable on September 01, 2019, 10:31:21 PM
This institution will never be known for STEM, so stop pretending that it's our strength.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 02, 2019, 03:26:16 AM
You say you "really want to take this particular course because it will be the perfect compliment to my major and this is my last semester'.

I say, go blow butterflies up someone else's butt.  As a senior, you had first crack at registration, and this class filled up less than a week ago.  You are as bad a planner as you are a liar.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on September 02, 2019, 06:47:30 PM
To library patron: Early afternoon and you're already drunk.  No wonder you're being barred again--this time it's for a good while.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on September 02, 2019, 06:52:38 PM
LOL did you just "well actually" my twitter joke?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on September 04, 2019, 07:31:04 PM
No, mom, we didn't nuke the hurricane, and that is not why it missed Alabama.

(sorry for the double post... but I really needed to type that somewhere).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 05, 2019, 04:33:42 AM
Not everything is about you.

Not getting your way doesn't mean "no one listens to me".

You said you didn't want to participate, so why are you angry that you aren't being included?

I quit.

(The above are not in rank order)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on September 05, 2019, 06:16:35 AM
HR, ignoring my repeated requests for a meeting to discuss how I can start an ADA file for several serious health problems is NOT going to make me go away.  I first contacted you July 19 and sent three emails since giving dates I could meet; you ignored those and a voice mail I left.  I'm going to get the info rolling with my doctors and am getting the union (and hopefully, their lawyer) involved. You'll soon find it would have been much easier to just work with me than to try to wait me out in hopes I'd give up.

(Actually, once I have the paperwork in hand, I'm going to say this, or more likely, have my union do so.)

Side note:  if I'd unwittingly look crossways at an ADA/Access student who hadn't disclosed to me as such, and I'd be crucified and THEN fired.  I'm just a faculty member, though, so I guess that's supposed to make HR's treatment of me OK?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on September 06, 2019, 04:10:13 PM
If you want to discount my professional experience and expertise to make some [redacted] happy, be my guest.  My concerns are laid out explicitly in numerous, shareable emails.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 07, 2019, 11:33:55 AM
If you want to discount my professional experience and expertise to make some [redacted] happy, be my guest.  My concerns are laid out explicitly in numerous, shareable emails.

I could have written the same post.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 07, 2019, 11:39:56 AM
And, again, that's why kids should wear bicycle helmets . . . all the time, but especially on a downhill gravel biking trails. Sorry, but even when the bleeding is impressive, it's hard to feel bad for really stupid people.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on September 07, 2019, 10:07:54 PM
And, again, that's why kids should wear bicycle helmets . . . all the time, but especially on a downhill gravel biking trails. Sorry, but even when the bleeding is impressive, it's hard to feel bad for really stupid people.

But couldn’t you feel sorry for the kid, if not the parents?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 08, 2019, 06:03:03 PM
And, again, that's why kids should wear bicycle helmets . . . all the time, but especially on a downhill gravel biking trails. Sorry, but even when the bleeding is impressive, it's hard to feel bad for really stupid people.

But couldn’t you feel sorry for the kid, if not the parents?

Yeah, maybe a little.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: reener06 on September 09, 2019, 08:28:40 AM
Wow, your collective attempts to silence us and/or control our message is truly elaborate and I suppose time-consuming. Look, I know you'll win in the end--you run the joint--but I'm not going down without a fight. I thought y'all knew me better than that.

Also, I'm a bit tired of getting repeatedly screwed over by you all, then having you blame me for what you did. I'm out of here on the first train out of the station that I can be on. I do hope you've figured that much out.

And you all are lousy managers.  Silence and hoping it all goes away is not a good management style. Neither is your other MO--talking it to death until everyone is exhausted and agrees with you, or you think they do.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: present_mirth on September 11, 2019, 06:11:31 AM
Dude, you're retired. Before you were retired, you were a science professor. Please shut up about how faculty in the humanities and social sciences are not teaching the history and politics of your country to your liking, especially since "your liking" involves telling students in every class, regardless of its relevance to the course material, how That Other Country is evil and an existential threat to all that is good and democratic in the world. (I say this as someone who happens to agree that the current government of That Other Country is imperialist and anti-democratic and does horrible things, but you seem to make no distinction between the government and the people and culture, which makes you ... no better than them. Besides, I'm pretty sure you would have a problem with it if the history and government faculty went over to your building and started telling science faculty how to teach YOUR subject, so what makes you qualified to tell them how to teach theirs?)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: statsgeek on September 13, 2019, 06:17:45 AM
To the lady in the giant white thing:  We all know this parking lot is a mess.  I'm not going to take your space.  But seriously, what did you expect me to do - wait in the middle of the street?  Honking and gesturing at me were not necessary. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on September 13, 2019, 04:26:11 PM
I guess we're now going to have to anticipate "Flip a f'ng fit Fridays." How the f did you ever get to that position level?!

[Sorry, I am too tired to find an f word that means throw to make an alliterative phrase, so I just looked it up a chose one for now.  Feel free to make suggestions. On the other hand, I think I have used an impression number of variations of the f word today, privately. That lends itself to creativity.]

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: al_wallace on September 16, 2019, 12:48:07 PM
Yes, if you refer to the email I sent three years ago, you'll discover that I gave exactly the same advice to you as the consultant you just paid 150K to tell you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 16, 2019, 01:30:44 PM
[Unrelated]

The way you handled this crisis (of your own making) reminds me of the question I asked when you were hired.

"How in the hell did you get this job"?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Anselm on September 16, 2019, 01:49:26 PM
Yes, if you refer to the email I sent three years ago, you'll discover that I gave exactly the same advice to you as the consultant you just paid 150K to tell you.

How can the rest of us get in on that racket?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: wareagle on September 16, 2019, 01:54:26 PM
I've been wondering the same thing for years.

I'm betting Al_Wallace's uni and mine hired the same group.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on September 17, 2019, 06:25:57 AM
What I wished I could say:

"Look, dude, your research proposal was incomprehensible, stacked so full of jargony flowery language and so lacking in any actual content, research, ideas, or substance, that I don't want anything to do with you. When I rejected your request to be my student, I simply grabbed the first semi-lucid term you mentioned that I lack expertise in, and used that as an excuse, because it seemed kinder than to tell you that your writing and ideas suck. The correct response is not to send me another email mansplaining my own research interests to me and telling me to read your research proposal more closely. I don't want to read it more closely. It was bad. And even if it weren't, if this is how you respond to rejection, I don't want to work with you. Go away."

But deleting your email was reasonably satisfying too.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 17, 2019, 08:53:34 AM
That "extra work" you wanted "extra compensation" for is just part of your job.  You look like a fool demanding more pay for that.   I just hope you didn't tar all of us.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on September 27, 2019, 05:40:28 AM
That was really ugly.

I hope that wasn't you who did it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on October 03, 2019, 10:41:16 AM
You have been awful to Faculty X.  Why are you hurt she didn't choose you as her rep for her tenure case? 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on October 05, 2019, 08:53:51 AM
1. I reject your teary-eyed assertion that we should be committed to the success of every student. That's a bit wacky. I'm committed to providing the opportunity and the means to success, but not the outcome. That's up to the students. At some point, they are required to do something.

2. The reason African-American students don't succeed at the same rate as their "white" counterparts at our community college is because we bring the same racism endemic to our community, region, and state (and beyond) into our institutional processes--including the classroom. Suggesting that an internal "revenue-neutral" "self-revitalization" of the college will address the "problem" is, well, f*cking wacky. I don't have the answers, but I'm thinking that WE are the problem, and we need outside help to identify our shortcomings and guide us into addressing OUR failures as an institution.

3. And none of this $hit is "revenue neutral." The money is out there. It's just that professional consultants/grifters are receiving the bulk of the grant money or it's being spent by senior administrators, and what trickles down to us isn't sufficient enough to address whatever the problem of the moment might be.

4. I have no desire to participate in the process of working hard for no gain just so consultants and adminstrators can congratute each other on their forward-thinking visions and transformational leadership. Print your little certificates, give them to each other, and leave me alone. I already have a full-time job.

5. I'm actually having a really good teaching year so far. Don't tread on my buzz, bro.       
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on October 05, 2019, 09:49:57 AM
Me, too, Fishbrains. Our admins must all be on the same mailing list.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on October 21, 2019, 10:25:51 AM
[sarcasm ON] No, I didn't get that done.  I know it's part of my job.  I know that lots of people will be variously annoyed or seriously P.O.'d if I don't do the required planning & coordination to pull this off.  But, for a change, after all these years, I didn't feel like doing it, so I didn't.  But thanks for asking - yet again - if I did get it all done.  [sarcasm OFF] 
<wanders off looking for a nice solid object to bang my head on>
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on October 21, 2019, 09:07:14 PM
Here..have a pillow...

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on October 22, 2019, 07:07:10 AM
You all are getting very tiring. I just...move on. Please. This isn't productive.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on November 01, 2019, 09:42:01 PM
Wait. Mignonette?! Is that bougie for tabasco sauce?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on November 05, 2019, 04:15:56 AM
Dear body,

I appreciate not having to use an alarm clock to get up in the morning.  0500 is OK.  0300 is not.  Let's adjust and get back to being bright eyed and bushy tailed at a reasonable time that doesn't leave me dragging for all those afternoon meetings.

Thanks,

Polly
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on November 05, 2019, 03:52:49 PM
To library patron: I've explained this as clearly as I can. I don't want to have this exact same conversation next week because you couldn't be bothered to listen to some important information the first time.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: downer on November 05, 2019, 04:27:35 PM
Dear Registrar
You have ignored every email I have sent you.
I will keep a trail of evidence and at some point I will demonstrate your inaction is causing problems for students.
I'd be happy to see you move on to greener pastures.
Love and kisses,
Downer.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: EdnaMode on November 06, 2019, 09:51:26 AM
Dear Colleague,

We all know you don’t actually have a conflict at 8 AM, you’re demanding the meeting be moved to another day and time because you can’t be arsed to do anything before noon on any given day. We know this because we've heard you say so before. We’re not going to inconvenience everyone else, including students, and move the meeting to after 6 PM because you're "not a morning person."

All the best (or not),

EM
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: traductio on November 06, 2019, 10:26:29 AM
Dear students,

When the instructions say "a summary of 125 words answering these three questions: 1. 2. 3.," what I really mean is "a summary of 125 words answering these three questions: 1. 2. 3."

That's all. Not 250 words. Not different questions.

Yes, I know it's short. Yes, I know it's work. But seriously, the instructions tell you what to write. Just, well, write that!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: traductio on November 06, 2019, 10:35:50 AM
Dear students,

When the instructions say "a summary of 125 words answering these three questions: 1. 2. 3.," what I really mean is "a summary of 125 words answering these three questions: 1. 2. 3."

That's all. Not 250 words. Not different questions.

Yes, I know it's short. Yes, I know it's work. But seriously, the instructions tell you what to write. Just, well, write that!

Also ; I;m not entirely- sure you "grasp how punctuation work's ..

(Maybe I should finish grading before I post here. Ugh. And these are master's-level papers.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 07, 2019, 12:24:03 PM
To quote The Princess Bride (with a slight alteration), "You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on November 07, 2019, 02:00:23 PM
"Yes, I know there is a form that will allow me to waive the prerequisite for you.  I'm not gonna.

Go away."

Oh, wait, I did say everything but the last bit.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on November 07, 2019, 06:17:06 PM
"Attached please find my totally finished, polished paper for next week's presentation. I thought ahead and had this ready for sharing in advance, because I am no slouch and I certainly haven't been procrastinating and/or stress-baking for the last two weeks.
Best,
nescafe"
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on November 07, 2019, 08:46:11 PM
This week's meeting on ideas to generate more revenue sucked up $10K worth of man hours.  (It was surprisingly well attended.)  I hope you're keeping track, since any extra revenue you generate will need to compensate for such meetings.  Right now you're running a net loss.

Also, if you can't describe New Interdisciplinary Course Requirement without using jargon from your subfield, that suggests the topic isn't really that broad and you shouldn't expect my department to offer any courses on the topic.  If we can't understand your description of the topic, we sure as heck aren't qualified to teach a whole course on it.

(It's been a bad week for meetings.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on November 10, 2019, 01:19:51 PM
Any initiative the College isn't going to fully fund and hire personnel for isn't an initiative that I will participate in. That's right! If the College isn't really invested in the project and is just asking us to chase our tails with busywork, then I'm not going to do it!

So there! Take that! Hah!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sitehound on November 11, 2019, 04:27:17 AM
Please, please retire. You are lazy, uncooperative, rigid, and manipulative.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Porcupine on November 11, 2019, 06:51:45 AM
Interdisciplinarity is predicated on disciplines existing. Interdisciplinarity does not and should not mean "liberal education hash".
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on November 11, 2019, 08:26:41 AM
Gee, I never did hear from you again on this subject. Perhaps you finally dropped it, like every other sane person on the planet?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on November 11, 2019, 09:18:39 AM
Please, please retire. You are lazy, uncooperative, rigid, and manipulative.

A rhetorical question - do you work in my department?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on November 11, 2019, 11:19:34 AM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 12, 2019, 04:37:05 AM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?

Oh, I felt this so very much this past month. I hope it's all done with.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on November 12, 2019, 08:38:11 AM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?

Oh, I felt this so very much this past month. I hope it's all done with.

Ugh, I'm sorry you have had to deal with it too.  So frustrating.  This is the second time they've attempted the installation, the first being an utter failure that took some of my other software with it.  No success on this attempt so far, but today's another day (and tomorrow, and tomorrow...).  It's like watching some randomly selected ghost meander through the file structure trying to figure out what to do.  What might launch the install? So many files.  I'm sure setup.exe is not relevant.  At times I have jumped into the chat to point out that they needed to open or close particular files, look in a different directory, etc.  Now I just go read a book or something and cross my fingers.   Hope you don't have to deal with it again any time soon, and thanks for the support!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on November 12, 2019, 10:31:15 AM
Rule to live by:

Before ever letting IT near your computer, back everything up.

Twice.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on November 12, 2019, 12:49:33 PM
Several, all unrelated:

(1) Don't. Just . . . . don't. 

(2) Yes, you do in fact need someone to come in to cook and clean. No, you cannot handle it yourselves. How do I know? Look at your house.

(3) You've already screwed things up royally multiple times before this. What makes you think this qualifies you to fix those same things?

(4) Driving 20 mph down a busy road marked with a 45 mph speed limit isn't being safe--at least, not for those of us who have to dodge around you like circus employees on unicycles.

(5) [from a vacation home in the Blue Ridge mountains] "Sorry, but I won't be back in the office until at least 2023."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on November 13, 2019, 04:19:27 AM
Hey, f*ckface: When working with a significant number of kids you know are adopted or in foster care, don't do a project that requires a baby photo. It's far less harmful to just beat them with an axe handle instead.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: downer on November 13, 2019, 06:10:17 AM
Dear Dean

For a couple of years you had some sub-dean evaluating my online courses. They always found fault with them, for reasons that I found absurd, and said so. I never got to the level of "satisfactory" even.

I've noticed that my online courses have stopped being evaluated by this sub-dean, but you keep on hiring me.

Just wondering, have you come to your senses and done away with those bullshit evaluations? Or did someone just forget to evaluate me?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 13, 2019, 06:15:45 AM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?

Oh, I felt this so very much this past month. I hope it's all done with.

Ugh, I'm sorry you have had to deal with it too.  So frustrating.  This is the second time they've attempted the installation, the first being an utter failure that took some of my other software with it.  No success on this attempt so far, but today's another day (and tomorrow, and tomorrow...).  It's like watching some randomly selected ghost meander through the file structure trying to figure out what to do.  What might launch the install? So many files.  I'm sure setup.exe is not relevant.  At times I have jumped into the chat to point out that they needed to open or close particular files, look in a different directory, etc.  Now I just go read a book or something and cross my fingers.   Hope you don't have to deal with it again any time soon, and thanks for the support!

Work gave me a new computer. We have a process for specialized software install (e.g. they won't give you the new one with it already loaded) and to get SPSS loaded, when I just needed an admin ID and password, meant the IT person thinking something else was the install package. I also jumped on the chat to tell them that wasn't the install setup and finally just navigated to it myself.

The more frustrating part, and at this point funny, is that the new laptop was sent to me (twice! because of VPN issues that required me to send it back to them) with missing software for critical things like updates being pushed and allowing IT to remote in (rather than sharing my desktop via our internal messaging system). I think it finally all got resolved yesterday.

And this has been going on since the end of September. *headdesk*
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on November 13, 2019, 08:33:49 AM
Colleague, you are brilliant, hard-working, and your skills are vital to the success of this project. I'm very excited about our collaboration, and I think we work well and effectively together. What is more, beyond your core skills in our research context, you also have really good soft skills, and have already done some wonderful networking to gain us an important research relationship and potential future partnership in an area that is far more my domain than yours. But I choked at that conference, and you were outgoing and made friends, and now we've got Professor Awesome on our team. I respect you and value our partnership.

However, you are a terrible writer. Yikes. Good grief. Ouch.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on November 13, 2019, 03:41:33 PM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?

Oh, I felt this so very much this past month. I hope it's all done with.

Ugh, I'm sorry you have had to deal with it too.  So frustrating.  This is the second time they've attempted the installation, the first being an utter failure that took some of my other software with it.  No success on this attempt so far, but today's another day (and tomorrow, and tomorrow...).  It's like watching some randomly selected ghost meander through the file structure trying to figure out what to do.  What might launch the install? So many files.  I'm sure setup.exe is not relevant.  At times I have jumped into the chat to point out that they needed to open or close particular files, look in a different directory, etc.  Now I just go read a book or something and cross my fingers.   Hope you don't have to deal with it again any time soon, and thanks for the support!

Work gave me a new computer. We have a process for specialized software install (e.g. they won't give you the new one with it already loaded) and to get SPSS loaded, when I just needed an admin ID and password, meant the IT person thinking something else was the install package. I also jumped on the chat to tell them that wasn't the install setup and finally just navigated to it myself.

The more frustrating part, and at this point funny, is that the new laptop was sent to me (twice! because of VPN issues that required me to send it back to them) with missing software for critical things like updates being pushed and allowing IT to remote in (rather than sharing my desktop via our internal messaging system). I think it finally all got resolved yesterday.

And this has been going on since the end of September. *headdesk*

I am so sorry to hear about all that! I swear we are computer issue twins.  Good of you to take the reins and do the navigating yourself.  We have a somewhat similar process now, too.  We used to get laptops with our custom software already installed, whatever we had licenses for individually and the common stuff.  Now we can just "easily" go "download" it ourselves, which basically means choosing the software from a site and "ordering" it and then waiting for a ton of approvals and someone to pop in to chat at a random time wanting to install the software.  For my part, I have had this software for years.  I needed to have an extra component added to access a particular data source, and that apparently required a full reinstall.  It took months to get the folks to understand what software specs I needed (though that setup is used by many of my colleagues).  Then it took days and days to download the files through VPN.  And, the install didn't work, so I lost my just fine and dandy version of the software.  Then I was told well, you are getting a new computer soon, so just wait and then you can "download" it from the software site. 

The timeline is frustrating.  I initially requested the additional component in December.  Got my version killed in March.  New computer in June.  Software finally installed and working today.  Why? My longtime friend who works in a different tech area heard about the issue and found a workaround and crunched through it with me all yesterday afternoon.   And then he also solved an issue with a driver that a lot of us have been having with the new computers and that none of the usual tech peeps could help with.  So! Guardian angels are apparently what is needed.  I wish I were still close enough to buy him a couple beers!

Sorry for the long rant, and I am so glad it finally got resolved for you, too.  Here's to not having to deal with this kind of thing again, for a little while at least.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 14, 2019, 05:42:34 AM
[watching tech do a remote install of software on my computer]

Argh!!! Please for the love of all that is holy, just let me do it! How hard is it?

Oh, I felt this so very much this past month. I hope it's all done with.

Ugh, I'm sorry you have had to deal with it too.  So frustrating.  This is the second time they've attempted the installation, the first being an utter failure that took some of my other software with it.  No success on this attempt so far, but today's another day (and tomorrow, and tomorrow...).  It's like watching some randomly selected ghost meander through the file structure trying to figure out what to do.  What might launch the install? So many files.  I'm sure setup.exe is not relevant.  At times I have jumped into the chat to point out that they needed to open or close particular files, look in a different directory, etc.  Now I just go read a book or something and cross my fingers.   Hope you don't have to deal with it again any time soon, and thanks for the support!

Work gave me a new computer. We have a process for specialized software install (e.g. they won't give you the new one with it already loaded) and to get SPSS loaded, when I just needed an admin ID and password, meant the IT person thinking something else was the install package. I also jumped on the chat to tell them that wasn't the install setup and finally just navigated to it myself.

The more frustrating part, and at this point funny, is that the new laptop was sent to me (twice! because of VPN issues that required me to send it back to them) with missing software for critical things like updates being pushed and allowing IT to remote in (rather than sharing my desktop via our internal messaging system). I think it finally all got resolved yesterday.

And this has been going on since the end of September. *headdesk*

I am so sorry to hear about all that! I swear we are computer issue twins.  Good of you to take the reins and do the navigating yourself.  We have a somewhat similar process now, too.  We used to get laptops with our custom software already installed, whatever we had licenses for individually and the common stuff.  Now we can just "easily" go "download" it ourselves, which basically means choosing the software from a site and "ordering" it and then waiting for a ton of approvals and someone to pop in to chat at a random time wanting to install the software.  For my part, I have had this software for years.  I needed to have an extra component added to access a particular data source, and that apparently required a full reinstall.  It took months to get the folks to understand what software specs I needed (though that setup is used by many of my colleagues).  Then it took days and days to download the files through VPN.  And, the install didn't work, so I lost my just fine and dandy version of the software.  Then I was told well, you are getting a new computer soon, so just wait and then you can "download" it from the software site. 

The timeline is frustrating.  I initially requested the additional component in December.  Got my version killed in March.  New computer in June.  Software finally installed and working today.  Why? My longtime friend who works in a different tech area heard about the issue and found a workaround and crunched through it with me all yesterday afternoon.   And then he also solved an issue with a driver that a lot of us have been having with the new computers and that none of the usual tech peeps could help with.  So! Guardian angels are apparently what is needed.  I wish I were still close enough to buy him a couple beers!

Sorry for the long rant, and I am so glad it finally got resolved for you, too.  Here's to not having to deal with this kind of thing again, for a little while at least.

That took the better part of a year?! And I thought approaching 2 months was bad. Yikes. Luckily the missing software was pushed and seems to be installed now. My issue was elevated to a Tier 3 tech which I didn't even know we had.

I outlined the timeline of problems and asked my boss to whom it should be elevated. Having tech shipped out with missing standard software is just bad business - I've probably spent at least 50 hours total dealing with this when I should have been working. I've also included the timeline in all of my recent communication with IT, including a note with my old computer when I finally sent it back to them. I was super tempted to CC our OCIO at one point too.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on November 14, 2019, 06:56:03 AM
MY IT team responded to my help request for a test-bank manager program (that they purchase and provide) with "Yeah, we heard about that.  Here's the cludgy work-around. We hope it will be fixed when the new version gets installed in February".

This was a hassle.  So I took the time to research, solve, and test the solution.  And when I told IT, they said "Glad it worked for you".

There has NEVER been a campus wide announcement of the problem, the workaround, nor the solution.

What I wish I could say:  "Hey IT, shouldn't I get all the money you budgeted for the support for that software.  Neither you nor the company has earned any of it."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on November 14, 2019, 10:23:49 AM
[snipping the long quote]

That took the better part of a year?! And I thought approaching 2 months was bad. Yikes. Luckily the missing software was pushed and seems to be installed now. My issue was elevated to a Tier 3 tech which I didn't even know we had.

I outlined the timeline of problems and asked my boss to whom it should be elevated. Having tech shipped out with missing standard software is just bad business - I've probably spent at least 50 hours total dealing with this when I should have been working. I've also included the timeline in all of my recent communication with IT, including a note with my old computer when I finally sent it back to them. I was super tempted to CC our OCIO at one point too.

Yes, luckily I could use other software to do some things, even if it took much longer than it should have.  I'm glad your issue got elevated.  We have a similar tier system.  I have had the same experience, spending many, many, many hours on this stuff.  It's pretty ridiculous.  I think remote workers should have a bit more autonomy given everything else we have to do for ourselves. 

When I got to my computer today, I had a Skype message from one of the tech consultants.  "Hi.." So I just left it until I felt like responding and said "Hi?" He replied "hii how are you".  So, I said "Doing ok, you?" And he eventually replied "i am fine".  That's where we are, currently.   I would think it were spam or some predatory journal invite, but it is our internal Skype, so who knows.  Kind of surreal.  I'll see how this plays out, I guess. "are you there?" I don't know, am I?

FishProf also has my sympathies.  That's another too-common scenario.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on November 15, 2019, 10:12:38 AM
FishProf also has my sympathies.  That's another too-common scenario.

Thanks.  Just another example of the stuff I do for my academic job that is not "what I went to school to do".
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on November 15, 2019, 06:43:26 PM
Yeah, well, it got a little hateful. But only dead fish go with the flow.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on November 16, 2019, 09:49:18 AM
So let me get this straight. You unsubscribed from our listserv, disconnected from Facebook, ignored the emails from our invitations committee, and now you're upset that you didn't learn about our event until it was too late?

Okay.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on November 17, 2019, 08:07:31 AM
You, madam, are an idiot.

Some people in this semi-rural neighborhood use an "electric fence" where an underground wire triggers a shock collar on the dog's neck to keep the dog within its own yard. A little cruel at first, but it works; and it's probably better than chaining the dog or letting it run off after every silly deer or possum. These dogs are not "unleashed."

That German Shepherd in the ugly blue house has a family with four little kids it protects. Protects them from what, I don't know. But the dog doesn't f*ck around and clearly articulates, every chance it gets, that it doesn't want anyone or anything within the clearly marked perimeter of its yard. And, by the way, even the local kids know that dogs are here to keep things away, and they don't approach them without asking. Even the little dogs around here know they have a job. 

Now, you like to leave your Labradoodle outside and unleashed to wander what we loosely call a neighborhood. When you told the police officer that your dog was just "a friendly neighborhood dog" and the German Shepherd was vicious and out-of-control, the county police officer just blinked at you. Plus, we other neighbors pointed out the many unpleasant encounters we have had with your dog because our "unfriendly" dogs and their "unfriendly" owners aren't comfortable being confronted by your large, unleashed (although admittedly friendly) animal.

Anyway, that was bloody and ugly, but your dog was lucky to make it to the perimeter and stay alive. In fact, it's surprising the German Shepherd stopped at the edge of its flagged area (I'm not sure those shock collars usually work for a dog in fight mode). And, hell-no, there wasn't anyone who was going into that yard to help rescue your dog. And, no, the cops aren't going to do anything to the German Shepherd or its owner.

Your dog ain't too bright, but you, madam, are a f*cking idiot.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: zuzu_ on November 18, 2019, 12:17:44 PM
I get it. I am not a vegetarian. I eat meat. I am not opposed to ethical meat production or ethical hunting of deer.

However I will never understand the need to pose with the bloody and deceased animal and share the picture far and wide.

And I get it--it is your social media, you want express yourself. This is the culture of region in which I have chosen to reside. It's OK--I will unfollow you or snooze you for hunting season.

But to the high-up admincritter who included these photos, of your smiling children grasping the antlers of their bloody deceased animals, at the bottom of your super-important email newsletter that we all must read: srsly?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on November 18, 2019, 12:29:25 PM
High up admincritter needs a lesson in sensitivity and inclusivity.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on November 18, 2019, 07:59:45 PM
Dean dude obviously skipped the training on appropriate use of university communication channels. Srsly indeed.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on November 19, 2019, 04:26:27 PM
Please please PLEASE email your classes when you are not going to show up for your office hours. Because guess where they go when they show up at your door, find it is closed, and my door is right across the hall.

(note: I will say something like this to the offending party when they return).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on November 20, 2019, 08:50:41 AM
No, we don't "all agree" that your [pet program] is where the university should be investing its limited resources.

No, that doesn't mean I want your [pet program] to fail.

No, that doesn't mean I hate [group served by pet program].

No, that doesn't mean I don't value the humanities.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on November 22, 2019, 01:06:38 PM
No, adminicritter: That the student consistently sent bi-weekly emails throughout the semester stating why she wasn't going to attend my class does not mean she was "participating" in the course. But submitting any of the four essays might have shown she was trying to participate in the course.

I don't have to email her "what she missed." The assignments have been in D2L since day one. Unfortunately, I am not able to email her an understanding of all the assignments and discussions she missed.

What the f*ck is your problem?

[My chair handled this more politely for me.]

 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 26, 2019, 01:32:27 PM
Are you too stupid to realize those are rounded numbers? And that if you click on a cell in the excel file it shows you the percentage out to 5 decimal places? And that not all numbers divide into each other evenly which is why, for example, we get things like the average number of people in a U.S. household is 2.5?

I will have to say some version of this - only nicely. And I will do it tomorrow because the people from this particular group have been inundating my email with inane questions all day and I will definitely not be nice if I respond right now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on November 27, 2019, 09:45:32 AM
Are you too stupid to realize those are rounded numbers? And that if you click on a cell in the excel file it shows you the percentage out to 5 decimal places? And that not all numbers divide into each other evenly which is why, for example, we get things like the average number of people in a U.S. household is 2.5?

I will have to say some version of this - only nicely. And I will do it tomorrow because the people from this particular group have been inundating my email with inane questions all day and I will definitely not be nice if I respond right now.

Adding to the above, if you come back to me with questions about the validity of weighting data, it's going to be very hard for me to not tell you that you have a problem with the entire field of statistics and I don't know what to do for you anymore.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on December 01, 2019, 04:53:38 PM
You've been here enough times to know how it works. In our family, when the cook says "Dinner in 10 minutes!" we stop what we are doing, get our drinks, hit the potty (if needed), and we are at the table in 10 minutes. We appreciate the well-prepared hot food someone else has made for us.

So, yes, when you hear the 10-minute-call, ignore the action around you, wait until the food is on the table to begin to end your important Facebook interactions, then go mix your "special tea," and then go to your car to get something, we assume you aren't participating with us and we start eating without you. And we wonder what the f*ck your problem might be--while we eat.

So pout all you want. Or don't come back. Whatever you want to do.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on December 05, 2019, 10:15:39 AM
So pout all you want. Or don't come back. Whatever you want to do.

Amen to this. Our family had some similar drama this year (an aunt yelled at the cook because the turkey was done 30 minutes early). I started to post something here and... just ran outta gas.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on December 06, 2019, 06:14:06 AM
Please remove me from this email thread.

(It's work related...I am tangentially involved but the current discussion is not relevant to me)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on December 06, 2019, 11:15:12 AM
Butt-out mom.  It isn't even your kid.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on December 07, 2019, 04:15:18 PM
How would like to trade being ignored for these "fabulous" parts of working in an office listed by Cracked.com: https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-wasteful-things-employers-do-instead-paying-us-more/?

Remember, I get paid way more than you while I'm wearing my branded lanyard and helping plan the holiday party that will have zero food I can eat.

I did do the math once and realized it cost me $200 in productive time to get a quarter of the wellness points needed to save $50 every year.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on December 07, 2019, 07:57:19 PM
Wow, you're really drinking up tonight!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on December 08, 2019, 03:51:30 PM
Nod and smile, smile and nod.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on December 09, 2019, 12:00:21 AM
SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN BANANA!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on December 09, 2019, 06:49:49 AM
I hate it when economists do history.

Actually, I guess I only hate it when *some* economists try to do history, and really much it up.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on December 19, 2019, 09:48:22 AM
I miss our old admin person. Things take twice as long dealing with you [current admin person].
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on December 19, 2019, 07:28:15 PM
Does this place really look like it's ready for it to reopen to the public?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Myword on December 21, 2019, 07:48:43 AM
I am more qualified for my job than you are qualified for yours.

No I don't want more work. The pay is so low I feel like a volunteer as it is.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on January 09, 2020, 11:51:14 PM
I am so sick of brand new junior faculty doing things like reading their emails and following instructions and asking for clarification if they need to, while senior faculty just carry on carrying on the way they've always done, and then when I call them on it and make them do the thing the right way, they're all 'Oh, I'm sO sOrRy, I dIdN't kNow'. If you had read your freaking email you would have known, fartnozzle!

Once I might have been all nice about it, but not this time. Once I might have considered letting it slide because you're about fourteen orders of magnitude more senior than me, but not anymore. I am in charge of this task, and you didn't do it right. Too bad that you're travelling and it's inconvenient to fix. If you'd done it right the first time you wouldn't be having this problem, would you? Here, I'll forward you that email that I sent back in early December where I told you how to do everything that you didn't do. The only concession I'll make to your ego is refraining from highlighting in honking read ink the bit where I laid out exactly what you said you didn't know.

You're a super famous big-shot, sure, but I just don't care. Do your job.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: RatGuy on January 10, 2020, 04:57:17 AM
The departmental listserv serves a number of specific functions, but your cutesy MFA-creative-writer-Tumblr messages about your love of cats or your distaste for onions is unprofessional. If only the director of your program would tell you what an idiot you're being.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on January 10, 2020, 06:09:51 AM
I am so sick of brand new junior faculty doing things like reading their emails and following instructions and asking for clarification if they need to, while senior faculty just carry on carrying on the way they've always done, and then when I call them on it and make them do the thing the right way, they're all 'Oh, I'm sO sOrRy, I dIdN't kNow'. If you had read your freaking email you would have known, fartnozzle!

Once I might have been all nice about it, but not this time. Once I might have considered letting it slide because you're about fourteen orders of magnitude more senior than me, but not anymore. I am in charge of this task, and you didn't do it right. Too bad that you're travelling and it's inconvenient to fix. If you'd done it right the first time you wouldn't be having this problem, would you? Here, I'll forward you that email that I sent back in early December where I told you how to do everything that you didn't do. The only concession I'll make to your ego is refraining from highlighting in honking read ink the bit where I laid out exactly what you said you didn't know.

You're a super famous big-shot, sure, but I just don't care. Do your job.

This month's AARP newsletter has a cover feature on age discrimination at the workplace.

Just sayin'... sometimes it is earned.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on January 10, 2020, 08:18:46 AM
I am so sick of brand new junior faculty doing things like reading their emails and following instructions and asking for clarification if they need to, while senior faculty just carry on carrying on the way they've always done, and then when I call them on it and make them do the thing the right way, they're all 'Oh, I'm sO sOrRy, I dIdN't kNow'. If you had read your freaking email you would have known, fartnozzle!

Once I might have been all nice about it, but not this time. Once I might have considered letting it slide because you're about fourteen orders of magnitude more senior than me, but not anymore. I am in charge of this task, and you didn't do it right. Too bad that you're travelling and it's inconvenient to fix. If you'd done it right the first time you wouldn't be having this problem, would you? Here, I'll forward you that email that I sent back in early December where I told you how to do everything that you didn't do. The only concession I'll make to your ego is refraining from highlighting in honking read ink the bit where I laid out exactly what you said you didn't know.

You're a super famous big-shot, sure, but I just don't care. Do your job.

This month's AARP newsletter has a cover feature on age discrimination at the workplace.

Just sayin'... sometimes it is earned.

If it's earned it's not age discrimination. This one is personal.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on January 10, 2020, 03:55:17 PM
Dear [Professional Program] Chair,
Stop telling students to come to me to appeal their C- grades up to a C because [Professional Program] doesn't round up but [My Department] does.  No we don't.  The artificial cutoff you impose is YOURS, not ours.  Students in our classes getting a C- didn't "fail", they got a C-.  That YOUR program won't accept that grade is YOUR PROBLEM, not mine.

Just Stop

No Love,

Fishprof
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on January 10, 2020, 09:09:18 PM
If you'd given me a deadline, I would have sent feedback by then.  Since you told me to take my time, I waited until today.  I am not thrilled to hear that you've already proceeded without my feedback.  At best, you'll still be able to incorporate it but have to waste $50 reprinting what you've already printed.  Otherwise, I just wasted my time reading your stuff and writing a whole page of comments.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on January 11, 2020, 12:10:50 PM
To my grad students: I'm so flattered that so many of you are taking my course despite not actually needing it "for credit." But if too many more of you drop it in favor of auditing, the course will be canceled entirely.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: LibrariAnne on January 13, 2020, 11:49:48 AM
"Wow Annie!!  You are really starting to look good!"

I know they mean this as a compliment, but it makes me want to say "Did I look like a troll before?"

Anne
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on January 13, 2020, 04:13:15 PM
Yeah, some people don't engage their brain before they put their mouth into gear....

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on January 14, 2020, 06:34:55 AM
Yes, I AM going to sit in the back of the room and crochet during two service week meetings today, just like the one yesterday. I might as well get something useful out of the time, since I'm forced to be here, and since you (Admin) aren't presenting anything useful of your own.

(I'm working on a baby afghan for one of my health care providers, and also little pouches for joeys, wombats, and sugar gliders in Australia.  At least all of them will appreciate my efforts, unlike Admin.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on January 14, 2020, 05:02:06 PM
Consume fecal matter and perish, you pretentious twerp.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on January 28, 2020, 05:36:01 AM
Dear politician's campaign,

Perhaps you are unaware that any random person can follow anyone on social media.  One does not need to be a supporter to follow a candidate.  One certainly does not have to be a supporter to the point that one would make phone calls on one's own dime for the candidate.

I have posted zero anything on any social media account linked to my legal name that supports your candidate.

Do you read the responses to your politician's posts?  I mean, really read them and count the percentage that are positive, negative, and neutral?  I do and thus have to wonder why you thought sending personal messages to random Twitter followers was anything other than a sign of desperation since clearly you aren't getting enough help from paid staff or actual supporters (you know, the people who actually donated to the campaign or respond enthusiastically to the weekly exhortations to get involved).

So, no, I, good registered Libertarian that I am (you didn't look to see what other accounts I follow, did you?) will not be making any phone calls for your Democratic candidate prior to the Iowa caucus.  You might want to check with my husband, but since he's on record as a registered Republican who has donated regularly to one of your opponents, my husband is also unlikely to be making any calls for you.

Signed,

Can we just vote already and be done with this election cycle?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on January 28, 2020, 11:40:13 AM
It isn't a ground-up faculty initiative if the President said "We are doing this.  Figure it out".
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: magnemite on January 28, 2020, 12:26:23 PM
It isn't a ground-up faculty initiative if the President said "We are doing this.  Figure it out".

Maybe a recipe: start with some ground-up faculty...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on January 28, 2020, 12:29:56 PM
It isn't a ground-up faculty initiative if the President said "We are doing this.  Figure it out".

Maybe a recipe: start with some ground-up faculty...

All our faculty here are ground-down.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: bento on January 29, 2020, 10:32:40 AM
No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Cheerful on January 29, 2020, 03:37:06 PM
No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.

Hopefully, this summer fun is accompanied by some onboarding of supplemental salary into your paycheck.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on January 30, 2020, 04:57:13 AM
Oh my god what the f*ck did you do?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on January 30, 2020, 05:51:07 AM
Please keep better track of your emails.

I'm getting really tired of sending things multiple times!!!

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on January 30, 2020, 05:53:02 AM
Please keep better track of your emails.

I'm getting really tired of sending things multiple times!!!

M.

This is when I just forward the last email I sent requesting that file/information/etc to that person.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on January 30, 2020, 05:54:11 AM
Yeah, I do that. A lot.

Just wish it would get better...!

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on January 30, 2020, 06:19:07 AM
No (interim dean), faculty are not excited to spend a week in summer helping what you call "onboarding" of freshmen.

Whenever I hear "onboarding", my mind goes to "waterboarding". I'm not sure how Freudian that is....
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on January 30, 2020, 07:09:49 AM
Yeah, I do that. A lot.

Just wish it would get better...!

M.

And working for (the same) also-conflict-averse person who wants to side-step everything, when the real need is to resolve an issue so we can move along, is also exhausting.

Do your job!!!

(and don't make me set things up so it "just happens"....you're supposed to be in charge, not me!)

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: downer on January 30, 2020, 09:25:09 AM
You're a fossil, a relic, and it is obvious that as a chair, you are a waste of time. You can't keep up and under your direction, the department is clearly just going to lose more full time faculty and probably eventually be merged with another more productive department. Of course, maybe you are not to blame, because you were the one who agreed to be chair when the rest of the department just want to sit at home diddling. So you are all a bunch of has-beens. You should all retire.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on January 30, 2020, 10:03:58 AM
If you think you're going to throw me under the bus successfully, think again.  I've got the receipts, as they say.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on January 30, 2020, 11:54:38 AM
No, student from last semester, I cannot change your grade so that you can continue to receive final aide. Well, I did say this. I wish I could say something else, but it is rather uncouth.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on January 31, 2020, 07:41:37 AM
Student, grow the f--- up and stop talking and giggling through my Comp II class. I called you out on it by name on Day 2 and Day 3. (Everybody was a little rambunctious on Day 1, and that's OK. But I warned everyone to get it out of their systems and come back ready to work. They did.) 

Why are you surprised--and mad as hell--that I both called you out AND took you out in the hall during class yesterday (Day 4)?  I was dead serious when I offered to walk you to my chair and/or the dean so you could complain about me. You had your chance.

Getting your things and stomping out didn't get you anywhere when you did it in my Comp I last semester.  It doesn't work now, either.  As I told you then, I teach in a college, not a junior high, so knock it off.  I'll be damned if I babysit this semester (though I'm mandated to do a good deal of it in Fall Comp I classes).

(For the record, the other 24 in the room are a dream--mature, engaged, bright, etc.  There's generally a huge jump in the civility of our students from Comp I to II.  I was hoping they'd shame this one into settling down but, nope.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: downer on February 02, 2020, 05:11:50 AM
Thanks for our email suggesting how i could make your life easier, dept chair.

Frankly, I don't give a shit.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on February 03, 2020, 02:11:45 PM
The general consensus of our little subcommittee was that our initiative was couched in too much jargon. You replied with, "Yes, we may have to recalibrate those deliverables." Everyone laughed lightly because we thought you were being witty.

When we looked at your face that was all a-flummoxed, we realized you were serious. So we laughed aloud. Then you got all pouty.

My best advice: Go home and start drinking until you see the humor in the situation. 'Cause I don't care who you are, that was funny.


Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on February 04, 2020, 12:02:44 AM
The general consensus of our little subcommittee was that our initiative was couched in too much jargon. You replied with, "Yes, we may have to recalibrate those deliverables." Everyone laughed lightly because we thought you were being witty.

When we looked at your face that was all a-flummoxed, we realized you were serious. So we laughed aloud. Then you got all pouty.

My best advice: Go home and start drinking until you see the humor in the situation. 'Cause I don't care who you are, that was funny.


I was once at a Science! For Kids! type event, describing my research. At one point I was making spectrograms of them saying their names, and was explaining what it was. And I opened my mouth and heard myself say, 'It's a visual representation of the sound waves . . .' and I just knew as I was saying it that I was failing badly, but I had no idea how to fix it. Fortunately my co-presenter popped up and said, 'It's a picture of your voice!' She is much better at that sort of thing than I am.

I deeply sympathize with your jargonizer.  But yes that was funny.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on February 04, 2020, 09:11:40 AM
Dear Registrar:

Why, oh why, do you allow students without the appropriate Math prerequisites to sign up for my Physics courses? It's becoming a pain in the a$$ trying to constantly explain what an integral is to a student who never had Calculus.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on February 11, 2020, 01:05:05 AM
Do you make a special time to meet up and re-teach the same material to every student who emails you to ask what they missed when they were absent? No, I didn't think so. Likewise, I cannot make time to reteach the information in this meeting to you just because you happen to have a schedule conflict. You've known about these regularly scheduled meetings since the beginning of the semester. If you have a schedule conflict, that's not my problem. Take the notes, talk to a colleague, and don't expect me to wipe your nose for you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: onehappyunicorn on February 11, 2020, 12:35:39 PM
When I tell you, oh dear student, that I do not penalize students who miss class due to severe weather situations I don't appreciate you trying to take advantage of that. I was talking about a situation where we had tornado warnings, not just rain. Telling me in your email that you do not feel safe driving in because we might have a few periods of somewhat heavy rain does you no favors, especially when it is sunny most of the day. Unfortunately saying "suck it up, buttercup" would likely be frowned up by my superior...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on February 11, 2020, 03:33:24 PM
Shame on you.  You've blown past hypocrite, bigot, and misogynist.  I hope your crappy behavior earns you the response you deserve.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: RatGuy on February 12, 2020, 05:05:34 AM
When I tell you, oh dear student, that I do not penalize students who miss class due to severe weather situations I don't appreciate you trying to take advantage of that. I was talking about a situation where we had tornado warnings, not just rain. Telling me in your email that you do not feel safe driving in because we might have a few periods of somewhat heavy rain does you no favors, especially when it is sunny most of the day. Unfortunately saying "suck it up, buttercup" would likely be frowned up by my superior...

When its raining heavily, most of my students will take an Uber.

From their dorms.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on February 12, 2020, 10:00:48 AM
To person 1: I don't know anyone that wants to do that.

To person 2: I'm not a mind reader. Be clear in the questions you ask and don't assume I know what year you're talking about. If you don't specify, I'll assume you mean the most recent one.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: magnemite on February 12, 2020, 11:54:38 AM
Just. Go. Away.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on February 13, 2020, 07:08:56 AM
Man, you Facebook reply guys always predictably repeat whatever the non-male commenter just posted, don't you?

I'd ask "hey is there an echo in here?" but if there's one thing that's more boring than a reply-guy echo, it's the injured not-all-men defensiveness that follows it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on February 13, 2020, 07:15:11 AM
Man, you Facebook reply guys always predictably repeat whatever the non-male commenter just posted, don't you?

I'd ask "hey is there an echo in here?" but if there's one thing that's more boring than a reply-guy echo, it's the injured not-all-men defensiveness that follows it.

In this day and age, nuance is evil.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on February 13, 2020, 07:27:05 AM
If you really want to change things for the better for students--and I do have my doubts there--then you are going to have to get busy changing policy. I'm not doing all this work, so you can just shrug your shoulders later and give me the sea cow look.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on February 13, 2020, 09:28:36 AM
I really, really, really, don't want you on this committee.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on February 15, 2020, 01:53:41 PM
Grr! We've been asking for website input for years. No one has responded.

Now, with a transition coming up, it's the focus of everyone's "new ideas," "dreams" and "Hopes!" and you can't even say "thanks" when we show you what we did do to update it in accordance with the new project we're working on....you just start in on this issue and that one, and you want stupid big pictures and print instead of an indexed, well-structured site.

My take on it is fast becoming: "When things are in flux, people take it out on the website."

And as a corollary: I'm only going to do minimal changes and cleanup, because it's clear you're going to trash the whole thing anyway.

Grumble....

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on February 16, 2020, 10:23:22 AM
Twitter folk (or social media in general): it is 100 percent possible to amplify/"signal boost" someone's message without outwardly saying that is what you're doing. I checked, and I promise it is possible. RT/Share.

The addition of an extra comment that you are "signal boosting" them is annoying. And it's so baldly performative and self-centered that I kind of judge you for doing it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on February 16, 2020, 07:38:40 PM
To patron #1: How stupid can you possibly be? No other patrons are here right now, the public computers show as unavailable, and all the lights are off. And our hours posted in large font on the front door.

To patron #2: Oh, I heard you. But I'm not your personal servant.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on February 17, 2020, 08:56:48 AM
I can't believe I have to tell you this, but my name isn't Andrea.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Parasaurolophus on February 17, 2020, 12:54:08 PM
I can't believe I have to tell you this, but my name isn't Andrea.

Similarly: My name is Parasaurolophus, not Pare a sore ollofuss.

I let it slide one time a year ago because I was caught by surprise, but now... it's too late, I can't correct it now. Sigh.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on February 17, 2020, 02:57:07 PM
No, Verizon, it is not my fault you've linked my work phone and my home fios accounts!

You fix it and you send me the gift card sign-up again after you do.

I shouldn't have to spend nearly 2 hours trying to sort out something the gremlins in your machines tangled up.

And let me know when it's fixed so I don't waste more time trying to sign up for the gift card until it is! (Oh, I did say that...)

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on February 21, 2020, 03:22:58 PM
To organizers of international document with expert contributors: I do not think you will receive author drafts that use the non-standard Word list format that you have requested.  It is hard enough using standard formats and the auto-"correcting" that occurs.  I have already spent way more time than it's worth to format this way, at least at this stage.  I doubt the folks who are way senior to me are taking the time to figure this out. 

I realize the above is pretty whiny, but (wait! there's more!) I feel like required formatting takes up a more and more disproportionate amount of my time compared to content generation.  Different journals, different clients all want different (and not always, or even usually, standard) formatting.  It makes sense later on in the publication process, maybe, but probably only barebones should be required at the initial submission stage, with the focus on content.  I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that, but researchers may not be likely to be able to meet weirdly specific formatting requirements in general.  Even less likely for these requests to be heeded when you've asked individuals from all over the place to contribute to an important document that probably falls outside their reward structures. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on February 21, 2020, 05:35:18 PM
I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on February 21, 2020, 07:33:51 PM
I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on February 21, 2020, 08:32:34 PM
I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.

For your convenience...
ransom note TeX (https://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/38599/the-effect-of-the-anonymous-letter) (scroll down--first thing is about PostScript)
Cthulhu-worshipping madman TeX (https://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/29402/how-do-i-make-my-document-look-like-it-was-written-by-a-cthulhu-worshipping-madm/29458#29458)
I didn't spend enough time searching, so there could be better approaches out there.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on February 22, 2020, 09:03:46 AM
I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.

For your convenience...
ransom note TeX (https://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/38599/the-effect-of-the-anonymous-letter) (scroll down--first thing is about PostScript)
Cthulhu-worshipping madman TeX (https://tex.stackexchange.com/questions/29402/how-do-i-make-my-document-look-like-it-was-written-by-a-cthulhu-worshipping-madm/29458#29458)
I didn't spend enough time searching, so there could be better approaches out there.

This is great.  Thanks again.  Playing around with these packages can be considered professional development time to get back up to speed with LaTeX.  Don't want to get too rusty!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on February 22, 2020, 09:25:51 AM
I was right, and you were wrong. Again. I know my being right is eating you up, but I still don't care about the topic any more than when you first asked me about it.

Smooth on and move on, bruh. Or whatever the kids say today.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on February 27, 2020, 11:04:33 AM
Dude, calm down. Your intensity and disbelief that only retirees are interested in volunteering with this group is probably why you're having a hard time finding a backup for the website. That and using 20 year old HTML...when there are systems out there with much more user friendly design and interfaces that just about anyone can use.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on February 27, 2020, 11:48:05 AM
When you asked a dozen people for feedback on something and I sent you a lengthy brain dump, I didn't expect you would use my brain dump almost verbatim as an official departmental document.  Okay, I get that nobody else sent you anything, but you're the chair and it's your job to nag them.  (At least you removed the part where I mentioned names of administrators in a less than complimentary manner.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mahagonny on February 27, 2020, 09:10:25 PM
At faculty meeting:
Chair: I am publishing a book as spokesman for our department, which is our solemn duty, as a world leader of pedagogy. I would like your input before editing.
Professor A: All this was explained definitively in my book several years ago.
Chair: Well and good, but it doesn't count until it appears in my book.
Me: It doesn't count then either.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on February 28, 2020, 05:13:44 AM
Please just shut up.  Your whining is out of control.

1) The professor doesn't have to give you a study guide.  Take notes.
2) The professor doesn't have to give partial credit on lab practicals.  He doesn't.  Arguing with him about it is pointless.  And annoying.   That he only said "You aren't going to change my mind about this" was a sign of restraint, not disrespect, on his part.
3)Nothing you are complaining about is something I can act on, even if I were so inclined.  Which I am not.
4) In a year, you will need a letter of recommendation to get into PA school.  You have now annoyed every professor who teaches the relevant  classes.  This will not go well for you.
5) The grade you are complaining about from last semester was your HIGHEST grade last semester.  Not the one you want to point out as being obviously unfair.
6) I am not the person to complain to about the class expectations being too high.  I set the expectations.  I enforce them.  Your complaints are reinforcing my opinion that the class is being run properly.

I may actually say all of these during our meeting this morning.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on February 28, 2020, 05:57:29 AM
PA = Physician's Assistant?

Wow.

Hold firm.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mahagonny on February 28, 2020, 06:37:45 AM
Please just shut up.  Your whining is out of control.

1) The professor doesn't have to give you a study guide.  Take notes.
2) The professor doesn't have to give partial credit on lab practicals.  He doesn't.  Arguing with him about it is pointless.  And annoying.   That he only said "You aren't going to change my mind about this" was a sign of restraint, not disrespect, on his part.
3)Nothing you are complaining about is something I can act on, even if I were so inclined.  Which I am not.
4) In a year, you will need a letter of recommendation to get into PA school.  You have now annoyed every professor who teaches the relevant  classes.  This will not go well for you.
5) The grade you are complaining about from last semester was your HIGHEST grade last semester.  Not the one you want to point out as being obviously unfair.
6) I am not the person to complain to about the class expectations being too high.  I set the expectations.  I enforce them.  Your complaints are reinforcing my opinion that the class is being run properly.

I may actually say all of these during our meeting this morning.

I don't anything that you shouldn't be able to say, since you are sure it's accurate.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on February 28, 2020, 07:47:26 AM
PA = Physician's Assistant?

Wow.

Hold firm.

M.

Yep. He sounds like he already decided not to go to Med School because it was too hard to get in.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on February 28, 2020, 10:03:34 AM
Student cancelled the meeting - decided 30 minutes wasn't enough time.  Good luck getting more than that in my schedule.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: smallcleanrat on February 29, 2020, 12:53:07 PM
Can I have a hug?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on February 29, 2020, 07:04:30 PM
Yes. Anytime!

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on March 01, 2020, 08:11:08 AM
Can I have a hug?

<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
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<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
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<<<<HUG>>>>
<<<<HUG>>>>
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on March 03, 2020, 09:27:06 AM
Not related.

Please stop belching loudly from your office with the door wide open. Just stop.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 04, 2020, 05:13:00 AM
That student trip you just canceled over coronavirus pandemic fears?  The place they were going is likely safer than staying here.

You just wasted tens of thousands of dollars and a ton of goodwill.  Good luck ever getting either of those back.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on March 04, 2020, 07:29:57 AM
I wish I could put you on mute.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 04, 2020, 10:37:59 AM
That student trip you just canceled over coronavirus pandemic fears?  The place they were going is likely safer than staying here.

You just wasted tens of thousands of dollars and a ton of goodwill.  Good luck ever getting either of those back.

So sorry to hear of that.

It's not helping with the zenophobia that is already getting in the water and making people dichotomize all the issues...

Be wise, be careful, yes.

But don't be clueless.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on March 04, 2020, 11:16:01 AM
That student trip you just canceled over coronavirus pandemic fears?  The place they were going is likely safer than staying here.

You just wasted tens of thousands of dollars and a ton of goodwill.  Good luck ever getting either of those back.

So sorry to hear of that.

It's not helping with the zenophobia that is already getting in the water and making people dichotomize all the issues...


I realized that this is a case where I'm not really sure what the default "left" and "right positions are in this.

For instance,

Being against imposing quarantine

Being for imposing quarantine

I could see loud voices from both ends of the political spectrum on both sides of this.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 06, 2020, 03:07:02 AM
Unrelated to the above....

Right, people.

Re-inventing the wheel is much more exciting than truing the spokes.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on March 11, 2020, 05:55:05 AM
Dear president of Super Dinky,

We've never met and yet I feel obligated to point out some harsh realities based on your recent interviews in the media.

The current budget shortfall is 15% of your operating budget and that's before any effect from the corona virus.  I don't know if you're underinformed or just wishfully thinking, but the natural disaster was several years ago and SD recovered.  The probation with the regional accreditor from a few years ago was related to planning and resources, not anything to do with student learning assessment.  I see no strategic or related plans on your website.  I don't even see the two-page summary of vision that is pretty common for tiny institutions.

All the actions you've listed as ways SD could change in this new higher ed environment have either been tried recently and are in various states of abandoned (online, more transfer-friendly general education, degree-completion programs) or are flat out stupid (premed and nursing are very different curricula and no one majors in English while minoring in nursing).  The new majors you implemented despite my research on how those wouldn't attract new students are not attracting new students based on the course enrollments that are visible to the general public.

I made presentations to the trustees about 4 years ago how dire their situation was and stated it would be about 5 years before SD closed if no changes on the list I provided were made right then.  I see almost no evidence that those changes were made, and yet I have personal correspondence regarding what happened when others continued to work on getting those changes implemented.  Almost all of those folks left or retired instead of continuing to make futile efforts.

Based on the lack of a triumphant announcement that fundraising to fill this year's budget shortfall was successful by the announced deadline (now several weeks in the past and the publicly visible fundraising tracker is still short), my bet is the next public announcement will be the institution is closed at the end of this academic year.

Regretfully,

Cassandra
Polly
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 11, 2020, 10:03:00 AM
Yes, it's sad when what you tried to say went unheard and/or left unenacted.

I'm in a smaller but similar setting where it's not going to be joy, but sorrow, when the whole thing collapses and "I told you so" is the only true response.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 11, 2020, 11:26:34 AM
In a single person election, writing abstain on your ballot is Passive-aggressive (and technically not an abstention).
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on March 11, 2020, 02:15:48 PM
Dear president of Super Dinky,

We've never met and yet I feel obligated to point out some harsh realities based on your recent interviews in the media.

The current budget shortfall is 15% of your operating budget and that's before any effect from the corona virus.  I don't know if you're underinformed or just wishfully thinking, but the natural disaster was several years ago and SD recovered.  The probation with the regional accreditor from a few years ago was related to planning and resources, not anything to do with student learning assessment.  I see no strategic or related plans on your website.  I don't even see the two-page summary of vision that is pretty common for tiny institutions.

All the actions you've listed as ways SD could change in this new higher ed environment have either been tried recently and are in various states of abandoned (online, more transfer-friendly general education, degree-completion programs) or are flat out stupid (premed and nursing are very different curricula and no one majors in English while minoring in nursing).  The new majors you implemented despite my research on how those wouldn't attract new students are not attracting new students based on the course enrollments that are visible to the general public.

I made presentations to the trustees about 4 years ago how dire their situation was and stated it would be about 5 years before SD closed if no changes on the list I provided were made right then.  I see almost no evidence that those changes were made, and yet I have personal correspondence regarding what happened when others continued to work on getting those changes implemented.  Almost all of those folks left or retired instead of continuing to make futile efforts.

Based on the lack of a triumphant announcement that fundraising to fill this year's budget shortfall was successful by the announced deadline (now several weeks in the past and the publicly visible fundraising tracker is still short), my bet is the next public announcement will be the institution is closed at the end of this academic year.

Regretfully,

Cassandra
Polly

Wish I had time to go back to the old fora and review the Super Dinky story there.  It was quite the cautionary tale.  I've several times checked up on my own (dinky, but not super-dinky) alma mater to reassure myself that they don't appear to be falling into some of the same kinds of traps.  So far, so okay.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Economizer on March 12, 2020, 07:50:10 AM
I wish that I could say wudn't and dudn't. I can say them but I cannot (can't) be thought proper in doing it.  Although these words are used quite commonly in the vicinity in which I reside and frequent, according to those who determine such for my base language, re them, the aforementioned unapproved contractions, I shouldn't. It is time for a change, I say.  And in respects to the arbiters of such, don't dare say that, were it their will, they couldn't!  Whew.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: toothpaste on March 12, 2020, 10:51:52 AM
Started a conversation on school parents' group about possibility of starting spring break prematurely so our kids don't heighten COVID. Very mildly put.

What I'm so far holding back on saying, "So you want your kid to be the bullet that kills your [insert favorite vulnerable loved one here]?"
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: alto_stratus on March 12, 2020, 05:48:01 PM
"Dear, lovely, husband, I TOLD you we should stock up on TP. You said I was being silly. And now, there is no Charmin."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 12, 2020, 06:39:14 PM
Unrelated to the above (I may have said this before, even...)

Inefficiency is multiplicative. The more people you put in charge, the less effective that group will be.

And I'm not feeling very trusting about the folks who are choosing the people to be put in charge.

So...I'm glad it will be put in place after I leave. Just hope the group survives.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on March 12, 2020, 07:21:37 PM
Inefficiency is multiplicative. The more people you put in charge, the less effective that group will be.

Mamselle, I'm sorry... your situation does not sound good.  What you said about more people in charge reminds me of this demotivation poster (I hope the humor will help): "None of us is as dumb as all of us." https://despair.com/products/meetings?variant=2457301507

I really need to figure out the embedded URL tags again but don't have the energy right now given stuff.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 12, 2020, 08:54:38 PM
Thanks, yes, that's about the size of it!

Appreciated.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on March 13, 2020, 09:52:11 AM
Dear Ph.D. candidate,

Writing to another scholar in your field and starting with "I haven't read your book, but" and then proceeding to ask several questions about material from their book is not the way to anyone's heart. This is especially the case if you are emailing an author who has also been your Reviewer 2.

Best,
Get a Clue
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on March 13, 2020, 10:04:28 AM
To anyone who approaches me with tiny/only matters to them/"not my problem" problems

I have bigger fish to fry!  Go away and bug someone else.

(aka I have to get TWO different lab courses ready to be online for nearly 1000 students in less than three weeks!  How many weeks of online vs in person?  No one knows!  When will we find out?  No one knows!  What is my budget?  No one knows, but I'm guessing $0!)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 13, 2020, 12:55:48 PM
Dear Mom and Dad

You are what is wrong with America.  Or, you would be if you bothered to vote.

Italy didn't close to stick it to Trump.  Covid-19 is real.

Fishprof
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on March 13, 2020, 12:58:34 PM
Dear Mom and Dad

You are what is wrong with America.  Or, you would be if you bothered to vote.

Italy didn't close to stick it to Trump.  Covid-19 is real.

Fishprof

My parents think this is all some kind of Democratic conspiracy and that travel bans between my state and the rest of the country are a great idea. Not because of public health (because this is all a hoax, right), but because it'll keep us liberals from taking over their Trumpist utopia.

Put another way: OMG I feel you fishprof.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 13, 2020, 01:06:16 PM
I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on March 13, 2020, 01:28:45 PM
I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

Well, on the radio, it sounded like Trump wasn't really on top of what he was saying.  Perhaps someone made Trump make the declaration by holding a beloved grandchild hostage.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 13, 2020, 01:50:06 PM
I'm wondering if he's finally taken it onboard that he could have the virus, having been exposed, and is just starting to catch up to the facts because it's happening to him.

Which, sorry to say, seems to be the only way he takes anything on board.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 13, 2020, 02:45:07 PM
I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

Well, on the radio, it sounded like Trump wasn't really on top of what he was saying.  Perhaps someone made Trump make the declaration by holding a beloved grandchild hostage.

Which would run counter to his tough-guy, drain the swamp, i have bigger hands persona they so claim to love.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on March 13, 2020, 06:42:01 PM
Am I the only person who's realized that we need to plan for significant drop in summer and fall enrollment? Between a pandemic and economic dislocations caused by reaction, many of our students may take a semester off. I know we have to meet deadlines, but shouldn't you at least be encouraging us to do some contingency planning?!?

I haven't said it, but I now have three budget outlines for next year. One is based on slightly optimistic flat enrollment forecasts of early January. Two is based on missing those projections by 3%, which I considered likely when I saw reviewed the underlying data. Three is disaster scenario, with enrollment decline of 25%.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on March 13, 2020, 07:11:58 PM
I got off the phone with them 10 minutes before their Dear Leader declared a national state of Emergency.

How will they rationalize that?

Well, on the radio, it sounded like Trump wasn't really on top of what he was saying.  Perhaps someone made Trump make the declaration by holding a beloved grandchild hostage.

Which would run counter to his tough-guy, drain the swamp, i have bigger hands persona they so claim to love.

Many people love a tough guy who has a soft spot for the grandbabies.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on March 17, 2020, 07:06:18 AM
You completely missed the point of what I wrote. It's the fact that you are assuming we understand/know what those things mean when we don't. I wasn't saying others had issues this time period. I was pointing out that how you explain things isn't helpful and that if things come up in the future, you should probably reevaluate what you assume people know.

FFS.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on March 18, 2020, 07:17:07 AM
The silence is becoming deafening.  Should I infer that you are annoyed?  If so, you might want to try imagining the full spectrum of reasons for my actions - most of which don't have anything to do with you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on March 18, 2020, 07:56:40 AM
I know you're frightened at the thought of continuing to allow a trickle of patrons to use the facility by appointment during the epidemic.  But we're an essential public service.  We can't shut down totally.  People have things to do online that can't wait for weeks, and our computers are the only ones they have available.  We're going to disinfect the work stations as they are used, and we're not going to let ourselves be overwhelmed by kids who just want to hang out and spread germs, like you think we are.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on March 18, 2020, 08:37:02 AM
To the reply-all in my inbox:

Why in the world are any of you shocked that students use their notes/books during an online exam? Why in the world didn't you write test questions that assumed that? Why in the world is it a bad thing if students are looking at their notes/books under these circumstances?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: uni_cyclist on March 18, 2020, 09:12:35 AM
Please send me my written offer. I am sitting on my hands so that I don't write or call you about it because I know everyone is busy and stressed. I am also busy and stressed, and need to know for sure whether I should be preparing to put my house up for sale, move my family across the country, and inform my current department that I am leaving. I know you're dealing with a whole department of people now needing to teach online -- I can help! Let me help. Can I barter my skills in teaching online, and in exchange get that offer letter pretty please?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on March 18, 2020, 09:52:55 AM
Stop posting about how this is a time for folks to "enjoy time with their loved ones, bake, paint, exercise, play games, laugh, etc."
That's only possible for the financially secure who don't have young children out of school (or are rich enough to have a giant house and a nanny/au pair/baby sitter).
Most folks are desperate to balance NEEDING to work and/or suddenly trying to get a job, might have suddenly lost their health insurance, with no childcare options, and the expectation that they will "home school" their kids.
It is not possible to work full time, parent full time, and teach full time.  Toss in the financial crisis and/or loss of healthcare and it's a disaster.

[I'm looking at you, my retired female relatives with health insurance and all your kids long grown up and moved out]

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on March 18, 2020, 10:04:42 AM
To another reply-all in my inbox:

I get the team spirit here, but honestly, I'm not about to publicly volunteer to teach the courses most adjacent to my own should the instructor of record fall ill next quarter. If any of us fall sick, honestly then it's time to cancel classes, not ask those of us who are already doing too much to take over someone else's (wholly inadequate, very different) online format.

But I'm untenured, so I will STFU instead and hope no one calls on me.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: spork on March 18, 2020, 10:26:51 AM
To the adjunct who has emailed me the same question about Webex four times in the last 24 hours and has received the same reply ("no") each time:

You're fired.


Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: EdnaMode on March 18, 2020, 12:07:43 PM
Dear colleague,

I know teaching [engineering topic] remotely is difficult but grow the f*** up and do it. We all have to do the best we can with this less than ideal situation. You can't just not teach your course for the rest of the semester and only assign reading and open book quizzes because the students will be totally screwed next fall when you "pass" them this spring and they don't have anything close to the prerequisite knowledge for the next course. How do I know you're trying to do that? Because I'm the course coordinator and by default in our system (not because I'm spying on you) course coordinators are emailed when an email is sent to "all" in the course. I have offered to help set things up for you since I'm teaching a similar course right now, but you've ignored all the offers from me and my colleagues to help out. Don't screw the students because you're lazy.

All the best,

EM

Well, I did write something similar, but much more polite, after discussing it with my department chair. Ugh. We're all in the same situation, we need to do the best we can for the students even though we might not agree with some of the decisions that have been made by people up the food chain.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: arcturus on March 18, 2020, 10:36:15 PM
Dear incompetent committee member,

Thank you for your efforts on this committee. However, as I have said before, we need both accuracy and speed in creating our documents. When your contributions are filled with inaccuracies, that slows us down because we need to double check your work. And it wastes the committee's very limited time. Further, when providing a revised document, please start with the version that already includes the corrections we have made. Re-doing all these revisions not only wastes my time further, but makes me respect you even less (if that is possible at this point). Finally, I know that you do not respect me, but, while your field is not my area of expertise, when I tell you that something is incorrect, I am right and you are wrong. Really. Trust me. Please resign so that we can replace you with someone who cares enough to do the job well.

Sincerely,
Pissed off committee member who is having to make the same corrections of factual inaccuracies for the nth time
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on March 18, 2020, 11:21:15 PM
They're hoping you won't notice so they can slip their version of reality past you....

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on March 22, 2020, 01:22:04 PM
A few things to note about your "encouraging" email from on-high:


I'm good at what I do, and I'll make it all work. Just leave me the hell alone so I can do my job.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: alto_stratus on March 22, 2020, 06:13:10 PM
No, it's not a good idea. Now stop patting yourselves on the back and thinking up things I "should" be doing to get it done, because it doesn't matter. It's not a good idea. Thanks for creating 15 mins of extra work responding to all the messages, and 30 mins of annoyance. I will let you know when the higher-ups say it's not a good idea.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on March 23, 2020, 04:27:42 AM
We have a system for running virtual meetings baked into our CMS.  Students already have access.  Why are you pushing ZOOM?  Could it be because the administrators who run the show here aren't on our CMS, so they never consider the academic side of things here?

Also, Google hangouts.  Why are you pushing Skype or some other tech over what you already made us adopt?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on March 23, 2020, 05:49:47 AM
No, I will not use Skype or Zoom or whatever else to speak to my chair or secretaries* "during this difficult time."  I will email him or them, as I always do when off-campus and needing something; if necessary, I'll pick up the phone and call the secretaries.  But I will not Skype, Zoom, or whatever else.

Yes, I know how to use Skype, Zoom, and similar programs. I've used them for years, particularly when interviewing with other schools, and as part of my "service to the discipline/academe" activities. No, I am not a luddite or a dinosaur; I've been teaching online here since 2005, before 90% of y'all even knew what online ed was.  But I am NOT Skyping etc. with you.

Similarly, no, I am not using Collaborate in Blackboard or recording and uploading audio and/or video lectures for my 2 F2F classes going online. They know what I look like and what I sound like. Hell, most of them spend most of every class period as it is either sleeping, staring out the window, or otherwise ignoring me, and those that don't, will be fine without visual/vocal contact.  Besides, over half of these Comp II students don't have any tech beyond their (expensive) cell phones--no latptop or desktop at home--and at least that many also don't have internet access at home.**  Public libraries have been closed for over a week; our campus is in our second week of extended spring break and is shut down to all but essential personnel; and regardless of what y'all say, our Bb doesn't work worth a damn with phones/tablets.

How have I managed to teach multiple sections every blessed semester, including summers, for 15 years without Skype, Collaborate, etc. and consistently have better grade results from my online classes than from my F2F sections--AND than most of my colleagues F2F's, too? More importantly, College, how about being concerned just a little bit about your employees' privacy and our agency in deciding what electronic/tech tools we will and will not use?  I mean, you already oversaw a breach of 5,000+ personnel records --including DoB's, SSN's, and more--earlier this spring. And you wonder why I don't want to give you any kind of access to anything more? Y'all could screw up a junkyard, as you've proven time and again.

* Secretarial staff is required to work for the duration (despite not being considered "essential" workers in the recent Stay at Home order from the local authorities--the governor is too stupid to have issued one for the entire state).  The chairs, deans, and higher-ups, and faculty, can work at home. Nice message to the secretaries, huh?

**If Admin knew the first damn thing about our students, they'd already know this and wouldn't be pushing us to upload audio/video lectures, conduct classes synchronously via Collaborate, etc.

TL; dr version:  Just get out of the way and let me teach. This "difficult situation" would be a lot less difficult if you'd just trust your faculty to do what you hired us for.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on March 23, 2020, 06:13:14 PM
No, I will not use Skype or Zoom or whatever else to speak to my chair or secretaries* "during this difficult time."  I will email him or them, as I always do when off-campus and needing something; if necessary, I'll pick up the phone and call the secretaries.  But I will not Skype, Zoom, or whatever else.

Yes, I know how to use Skype, Zoom, and similar programs. I've used them for years, particularly when interviewing with other schools, and as part of my "service to the discipline/academe" activities. No, I am not a luddite or a dinosaur; I've been teaching online here since 2005, before 90% of y'all even knew what online ed was.  But I am NOT Skyping etc. with you.

Similarly, no, I am not using Collaborate in Blackboard or recording and uploading audio and/or video lectures for my 2 F2F classes going online. They know what I look like and what I sound like. Hell, most of them spend most of every class period as it is either sleeping, staring out the window, or otherwise ignoring me, and those that don't, will be fine without visual/vocal contact.  Besides, over half of these Comp II students don't have any tech beyond their (expensive) cell phones--no latptop or desktop at home--and at least that many also don't have internet access at home.**  Public libraries have been closed for over a week; our campus is in our second week of extended spring break and is shut down to all but essential personnel; and regardless of what y'all say, our Bb doesn't work worth a damn with phones/tablets.

How have I managed to teach multiple sections every blessed semester, including summers, for 15 years without Skype, Collaborate, etc. and consistently have better grade results from my online classes than from my F2F sections--AND than most of my colleagues F2F's, too? More importantly, College, how about being concerned just a little bit about your employees' privacy and our agency in deciding what electronic/tech tools we will and will not use?  I mean, you already oversaw a breach of 5,000+ personnel records --including DoB's, SSN's, and more--earlier this spring. And you wonder why I don't want to give you any kind of access to anything more? Y'all could screw up a junkyard, as you've proven time and again.

* Secretarial staff is required to work for the duration (despite not being considered "essential" workers in the recent Stay at Home order from the local authorities--the governor is too stupid to have issued one for the entire state).  The chairs, deans, and higher-ups, and faculty, can work at home. Nice message to the secretaries, huh?

**If Admin knew the first damn thing about our students, they'd already know this and wouldn't be pushing us to upload audio/video lectures, conduct classes synchronously via Collaborate, etc.

TL; dr version:  Just get out of the way and let me teach. This "difficult situation" would be a lot less difficult if you'd just trust your faculty to do what you hired us for.

Amen. It's like administrators have put all their stock into Zoom or something. Or, as usual, they are pushing complicated solutions for problems that don't actually exist.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on March 23, 2020, 10:02:52 PM
related to the above -

Double Amen. 

I'm not doing Zoom meetings, either.  You didn't want any input from us up until this point.  Why do I need to pretend to give a damn on camera?  Learn to compose a coherent email.  I can read just fine. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on March 24, 2020, 04:45:58 AM
I said in the future you stupid bint. I didn't say right now. IN THE FUTURE...think about how you explain things to people. You're not clear.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on March 24, 2020, 06:34:24 AM
Admin, PLEASE stop sending multiple (i.e, I counted 8 yesterday) daily emails about taking classes online, and let us just DO it.  Those of us who teach online find a lot of your advice to be absurd (the Zoom rant I made earlier is the least annoying suggestion), and those who are struggling to figure it out are not going to be helped by any of your BS. 

Also, instead of bombarding us with this nonsense, how about getting REAL, usable information out to us ASAP.  For instance, the little fact that students can withdraw from any class and retake if for free in the future would be a nice thing for faculty to know, esp. with students who are already on the grade bubble and/or in personal crisis because of the upheaval.  And burying the word about that really good page of resources our librarians made up--which includes information on how anyone in the area can get 60 days' worth of free home internet--at the bottom of the weekly campus newsletter that nobody reads, pretty much encapsulates how Admin is handling this whole situation.

I get it:  unexpected times, figuring it out as you go, etc.  But that doesn't give license to turn this into the sh*tshow it's become.  Of course, at the end, the Chancellor and OE director will likely get contract extensions with healthy raises and a bonus. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Myword on March 24, 2020, 07:08:56 AM
 it is unfair for me to wait years for you to publish my very short book review, nor to wait months without any communication for your readers to critique my articles and do their unnecessary fault-finding and opining that does no one any good.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on March 24, 2020, 09:30:29 AM
Why yes, you can still make appointments to come to the library to fax, use computers, and check out books that we bring to you.  And our recently-modernized web site offers a dazzling array of virtual services as well.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on March 25, 2020, 06:29:26 AM
Just let it go.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sprout on March 25, 2020, 10:50:24 AM
To everyone posting ideas for "what to do when you're stuck at home doing nothing": I hate you all.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on March 26, 2020, 07:46:01 AM
STOP sending all the stupid and repetitive emails about how to do our work, and let us do our work!  You don't get brownie points for micromanaging, especially when you clearly don't have a clue about what you're talking about.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on March 26, 2020, 11:01:05 AM
STOP sending all the stupid and repetitive emails about how to do our work, and let us do our work!  You don't get brownie points for micromanaging, especially when you clearly don't have a clue about what you're talking about.

This +1000


Our classes start in FOUR DAYS.  While it's nice (I guess?) that the "keep teaching" folks are willing to meet and chat tomorrow about what we are "planning" to do for Basketweaving labs, I had to restrain myself from yelling "We are past planning!  We have been past the planning/brainstorming/looking for resources stage for at least a week.  Right now, if you aren't actively testing our your materials, it's too late!  Leave me alone so I can do my job."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: downer on March 27, 2020, 05:45:24 AM
You chose to post publicly about how you have been traumatized by another person and by your college. It seemed a bid to elicit sympathy from others.

To be honest, I don't feel a lot of sympathy. In my experience you are a hard person to deal with, and it is not surprising that others are worn out by you and do not accept your ideas.

Clearly you have been hurt by others and you have taken it very personally. But I don't see you acknowledging your own role in your life course.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on March 27, 2020, 06:56:00 PM
Please stop telling me what we should be doing, instead of what university has mandated that we do. I don't have any ability to change the mandates, as I've explained multiple times this week. You could have finished the idiotic paperwork in half the time you've spent complaining.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on March 28, 2020, 09:29:28 AM
As Sheldon would say, I informed you thusly.

I'm sad for all the people now actively being hurt because you refused to act years ago when those actions could have led to a different outcome.

It sucks to be right.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on March 31, 2020, 11:17:19 AM
The President talked about it in her daily update on website, so why are you trying to keep budget freeze quiet?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on March 31, 2020, 12:55:04 PM
This is a situation where your buy-in leadership style is really a detriment. We need to make decisions. We aren't going to make everyone happy. Stop thinking we'll have some magical situation where we find a happy medium. It's not going to happen.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on March 31, 2020, 04:15:58 PM
This is a situation where your buy-in leadership style is really a detriment. We need to make decisions. We aren't going to make everyone happy. Stop thinking we'll have some magical situation where we find a happy medium. It's not going to happen.

Related: If you tell us to develop reporting method that works for our unique situations of Thursday, don't require us to all use X's format on Tuesday. I don't care about the report format, but I do care about time I wasted developing format.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on March 31, 2020, 06:33:17 PM
You aren't fooling anyone.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 01, 2020, 06:05:45 PM
Contingency planning means planning for possibilities. If we wait until we have firm budget numbers, it's called panic.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on April 02, 2020, 02:20:56 AM
We're dealing with this in different ways. You want contact and affection and hugs. I want to withdraw into myself and wait it out. Please just let me be alone for a few hours a day and stop touching me.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Anselm on April 02, 2020, 08:40:12 PM
Will you admin critters at least admit that some subjects can't be taught in an online format like ceramics and aviation?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on April 03, 2020, 05:12:16 AM
No we do not need a meeting to collectively write a response to those questions. WTF are you thinking.

Also, see the draft of responses I sent last week. That apparently you failed to notice. Read that and comment on it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on April 03, 2020, 07:33:29 AM
Will you admin critters at least admit that some subjects can't be taught in an online format like ceramics and aviation?

So having students play "Flight Simulator" online isn't considered adequate.  Who knew?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on April 03, 2020, 07:36:37 AM
Will you admin critters at least admit that some subjects can't be taught in an online format like ceramics and aviation?

So having students play "Flight Simulator" online isn't considered adequate.  Who knew?

Are you saying Flight of the Navigator lied to us?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Anselm on April 03, 2020, 07:58:40 AM
Will you admin critters at least admit that some subjects can't be taught in an online format like ceramics and aviation?

So having students play "Flight Simulator" online isn't considered adequate.  Who knew?

OK, I was a little careless in my frustration.   Our pilot students use a simulator that is so good that it counts for real flight time with the FAA.   However, that will not work for the aviation maintenance students.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on April 03, 2020, 08:28:42 AM
Will you admin critters at least admit that some subjects can't be taught in an online format like ceramics and aviation?

So having students play "Flight Simulator" online isn't considered adequate.  Who knew?

OK, I was a little careless in my frustration.   Our pilot students use a simulator that is so good that it counts for real flight time with the FAA.   However, that will not work for the aviation maintenance students.

Wait until you get the Tony Stark virtual workshop. Once they've got that at home, no problem.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Stockmann on April 03, 2020, 09:19:56 AM
Higher-ups, get your act together. Re-sit exams had already been delayed and switched to online, why re-schedule them? You've created massive uncertainty because now nobody knows when they'll take place, let alone when next term will take place. What would've made sense would be to formally switch next term to online - courses involving stuff like dissecting corpses would simply not take place next term. Students with no broadband, etc, could be alowed to temporarily withdraw without penalty. Instead, you're delaying everybody's graduation unncessarily and creating massive uncertainty for everyone, not least for those of us on temporary contracts, even more so for new hires. Is it incompetence, is it coddling the dinosaurs who refuse to even consider switching to online even as an emergency, stopgap measure?
Oh, and of course there's no inkling that you're even thinking of what might happen if many instructors become seriously ill, even though our instructors tend to be very experienced. Feckless much?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: histlibrarian on April 03, 2020, 10:32:15 AM
Let us close the library.

Stop giving us nonsense reasons as to why the building should remain open and start listening to all of us with our concerns about what this means for staff and student health. Stop ignoring this and start treating this like a bigger deal and acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, the library should actually close and all your "reasons" can be fulfilled with other sites on campus that do not require the library--which needs to be staffed in order to be open--to be open.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on April 03, 2020, 10:55:09 AM
Did it not dawn on you that I was the one that was going to have to make those changes? You need to tell me when $h!t like this comes in.

And don't go f*cking with my folder system by adding new folders that you think will make things clearer/easier/etc. You're not helping.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on April 03, 2020, 12:38:37 PM
I spent a couple of hours doing the online demos so people *could* use this software package if they want.  No one is required to do so, but a lot of people are choosing to.

Your incredibly immature tantrum about academic freedom and being forced to go online (you are, not by me) and  having to use THIS software (you don't, but you can) was really pathetic.

What I want to say: "I didn't understand what you just said, but it should have been 'thank you', so 'you're welcome'."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on April 06, 2020, 02:29:39 PM
WIWICS:

"When someone fixes a messy document you sent out to reflect a more professional standard for appearance and brevity (like, a 1-page job description instead of a 3-page mess with lists, half-finished sentences taken from your meeting notes, etc.) you adopt it.

"Don't add more stuff, don't try to cram a bunch of half-formed ideas about directions we might want to take but don't yet exist in there...you'll scare away all the applicants!

"Just say "thanks" and send it out.

"P.S., I'm not re-editing it."

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on April 06, 2020, 03:04:07 PM
No, flexibility in the face of Covid-19 does NOT mean "throw out all standards and just give out grades like candy", but thanks for putting that in writing so I can notify the Dean.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on April 07, 2020, 11:32:18 AM
[Double post, different days, OK?)

If you aren't able to calculate the  grade you need in Calculus in order to just barely meet the 2.0 minimum GPA to graduate, you shouldn't graduate.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on April 07, 2020, 11:56:12 AM
[Double post, different days, OK?)

If you aren't able to calculate the  grade you need in Calculus in order to just barely meet the 2.0 minimum GPA to graduate, you shouldn't graduate.

I always think the same thing about my accounting and nursing students.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on April 10, 2020, 10:34:48 AM
Don't post about your weird skin conditions on my Facebook page, okay? No one wants to read that shit.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on April 10, 2020, 03:29:42 PM
Thanks, just thanks! A month of time typing this up I can't get back...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on April 10, 2020, 03:44:31 PM
Thanks, just thanks! A month of time typing this up I can't get back...

Oh, no. Sorry that has happened. I've had a couple of those happen, too.

No fun.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on April 11, 2020, 12:15:00 PM
If you tell us that the best meal you have ever eaten came from a Cracker Barrel restaurant, you can't--in the same sentence--describe yourself as a "picky eater."

Just sayin'.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on April 13, 2020, 06:31:56 AM
<Re:  IRL situation>

If you're in that bad a shape, remove yourself from the situation (leave of absence, whatever) and either get better and come back, or find something else that you can handle. 

People are not out to get you. You're sucking the life out of everybody around you, so no, we're not particularly invested in wanting to keep trying, especially when no matter how nice we are and how sincerely we try to help, all you can do is bitch about us. If you're feeling like people don't care, you're right, and you've brought it on yourself.

Nearly all of us have been/are going through similar mental, family, and health issues as you--and for some of us, way worse. You just don't know about a lot of them (because you're too busy wallowing).  And when you do know, and continue to make a--hole comments to and about us, why, yes, you absolutely have lost the right to any sympathy and help we've done our best to extend to you.

TL; DR version:

Stop acting like we're all cold-hearted monsters. If you want people to care and help you, try not being such a childish, self-centered jackass when we do. And don't expect us to care and help anymore--we're done.






Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: paultuttle on April 14, 2020, 09:00:56 AM
I am at home working.

This doesn't mean that I somehow magically have more, extra, or additional time. I am merely doing my normal job but from a different location.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on April 14, 2020, 09:25:24 AM
If you tell us that the best meal you have ever eaten came from a Cracker Barrel restaurant, you can't--in the same sentence--describe yourself as a "picky eater."

Just sayin'.

Sure they can!  Picky doesn't mean that they like GOOD food.  They like all of their food to be bland, squishy, and salty. 
I've eaten at a Cracker Barrel once and had a memorably disappointing bowl of chicken soup.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on April 14, 2020, 01:08:07 PM
Shoot the messenger if you want regarding your poor writing effort. I will note, however, that Grammarly or a competent 4th grader could have pointed out the same problems.

And, hey, I'm a composition instructor: Reading and editing . . .  it's kind of what I do. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on April 14, 2020, 01:10:27 PM
If you tell us that the best meal you have ever eaten came from a Cracker Barrel restaurant, you can't--in the same sentence--describe yourself as a "picky eater."

Just sayin'.

Sure they can!  Picky doesn't mean that they like GOOD food.  They like all of their food to be bland, squishy, and salty. 
I've eaten at a Cracker Barrel once and had a memorably disappointing bowl of chicken soup.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . .
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on April 15, 2020, 02:37:02 PM
I am starting to suspect that some random group of monkeys* designed this study, developed the study instruments, collected the data, and then created the "analysis plan."**  One more example of why it is not so fun to "play in everyone's backyard."  Good freaking grief. 

Note to self: remember to remove some of my comments to myself from the programming code before sharing it with those to whom I would say/shout the above.

*No offense meant to monkeys.
**If I could defenestrate a Word document, I would.  I guess I could print it out and do so, or burn it in effigy, or both, or something.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on April 15, 2020, 04:07:51 PM
I hear your pain...hitting the delete key repeatedly just lacks the same panache.

Mine:  you took ten times longer than anyone ever has to finish that process and now you are going to get all pissy because it took an extra two hours to find a substitution for one item?

(Clearly working form home is not this person's peak environment...)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 15, 2020, 09:10:38 PM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on April 16, 2020, 06:47:25 PM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Can you elaborate without outing yourself? This sounds insane!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on April 17, 2020, 07:47:22 AM
No, you don't really want me to lay you off, even though the federally-enhanced unemployment payments would be more than you take home each week.  You're not considering how much you receive in insurance benefits and employer contributions to our retirement system.  It's not a good idea in the long term to interrupt those unnecessarily. 

Plus, you're one of the few staff members who can actually work from home, and we need you working.  You'll also be better off in the long run if you impress us with how well you want to do your job, not with how you'd rather draw a check for doing nothing.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 18, 2020, 08:13:07 PM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Can you elaborate without outing yourself? This sounds insane!

It is insane. My university has long required presidential approval for any staff member or administrator to work remotely. A proposed staff remote work policy was stalled until March, then passed the day before university announced extended spring break and remote teaching. The policy requires "frequent, documented, communication between supervisor and employee" and "measurable work product" for staff working remotely. The guidelines keep changing, but every version is time consuming.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 21, 2020, 04:10:37 PM
So, if our university  starts furloughing or laying off faculty and staff, you're going on the job market? Really? Good luck!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: dr_codex on April 21, 2020, 05:22:00 PM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Can you elaborate without outing yourself? This sounds insane!

It is insane. My university has long required presidential approval for any staff member or administrator to work remotely. A proposed staff remote work policy was stalled until March, then passed the day before university announced extended spring break and remote teaching. The policy requires "frequent, documented, communication between supervisor and employee" and "measurable work product" for staff working remotely. The guidelines keep changing, but every version is time consuming.

Us, too. Us too. And then there are the people who have to compile the reports about the reports.

Your tax dollars at work, folks.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on April 21, 2020, 06:52:51 PM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Can you elaborate without outing yourself? This sounds insane!

It is insane. My university has long required presidential approval for any staff member or administrator to work remotely. A proposed staff remote work policy was stalled until March, then passed the day before university announced extended spring break and remote teaching. The policy requires "frequent, documented, communication between supervisor and employee" and "measurable work product" for staff working remotely. The guidelines keep changing, but every version is time consuming.

Us, too. Us too. And then there are the people who have to compile the reports about the reports.

Your tax dollars at work, folks.

Classic lack of trust. The easy way to do this is for each supervisor, or delegate, to have a quick email exchange with their direct reports once a week. For example:

Supervisor: ‘Hi, colleague. Hope you’re doing well. Can you please send me a few bullet points on what you’ve accomplished this week?’.

Colleague: <sends bullet pointed list>

Supervisor follows up by Zoom if necessary.

Any issues are amalgamated at School level and sent up the chain at month’s end, with the default being that everything is fine.

I have 80+ direct reports and reckon this would take me at most 2 hours/week, my delegates 1 hour/week, and individuals without issues 10 minutes/week.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on April 22, 2020, 07:10:26 AM
Of course staff productivity is down and morale is abysmal with remote working. Your daily log and daily check-in with supervisor and weekly achivements report are taking 2-4 hours per person each week. Good staff are feeling distrusted and micromanaged, in addition to having at least 5% of their weekly hours consumed with your productivity reporting and supervisory oversight requirements.

Can you elaborate without outing yourself? This sounds insane!

It is insane. My university has long required presidential approval for any staff member or administrator to work remotely. A proposed staff remote work policy was stalled until March, then passed the day before university announced extended spring break and remote teaching. The policy requires "frequent, documented, communication between supervisor and employee" and "measurable work product" for staff working remotely. The guidelines keep changing, but every version is time consuming.

Us, too. Us too. And then there are the people who have to compile the reports about the reports.

Your tax dollars at work, folks.

Classic lack of trust. The easy way to do this is for each supervisor, or delegate, to have a quick email exchange with their direct reports once a week. For example:

Supervisor: ‘Hi, colleague. Hope you’re doing well. Can you please send me a few bullet points on what you’ve accomplished this week?’.

Colleague: <sends bullet pointed list>

Supervisor follows up by Zoom if necessary.

Any issues are amalgamated at School level and sent up the chain at month’s end, with the default being that everything is fine.

I have 80+ direct reports and reckon this would take me at most 2 hours/week, my delegates 1 hour/week, and individuals without issues 10 minutes/week.

My non-academic employer had huge restrictions on work-from-home until it became about 10k of us doing it all at once.  Now, what constitutes adequate documentation includes showing up for the weekly virtual meeting and saying, "I'm here and it's going fine", when your name is called or a three-to-five-minute phone call with the supervisor saying the same thing when one had to miss the meeting.

We still have deliverables due, but it wasn't our administrative supervisor who ever got the deliverables nor was it our administrative supervisor who had frequent meetings regarding progress on those deliverables.  I'm actually spending more time with my administrative supervisor with the weekly check-ins than previously when it was required twice per year and I saw her a little more frequently because our offices are about 20 feet apart.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on April 22, 2020, 07:41:07 AM
Hey Student!  It is STILL not all about you.  Professors have lives and kids and health issues and bills just like everyone else.  You want them to cut you some slack, you need to do the same.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on April 23, 2020, 02:58:16 AM
In what world does a paragraph or two explaining why we didn't use method X count as too onerous for 'minor revisions'? Just give me the damn figure showing method X so I can refer to it when explaining why method X doesn't work. In the amount of time you spent arguing that the figure and changes were an unreasonable expectation, I could have made them.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on April 23, 2020, 08:50:43 AM
Your need to try and please everyone is going to really end up screwing us over if we don't get something out soon. It is okay to say, "We're working on it," for some of the questions we know we're going to get that haven't been fully decided. Waiting until we have all the information isn't really possible right now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on April 24, 2020, 03:23:47 PM
Well, I guess the nice thing about chaos is that the paperwork doesn't really matter quite so much.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on April 27, 2020, 09:56:50 AM
Okay, no . . . I can't identify with the severe "trauma" high school seniors seem to be experiencing by missing out on their post-Spring Break school activities.

I hated high school, especially my senior year. To me, high school was nothing but a prison. I don't think back fondly on having to ask to go pee or waking up early for mind-numbing classes or the shredded carrots in green jello for lunch or dealing with the a$$hole students in the hallways. When the girl I would have taken to prom told me we were boycotting the dance because our early 80's Mid-South podunk high school officials wouldn't let a white guy take a black girl to the prom, my only real response was relief. I didn't buy a yearbook. I didn't show up for the senior group photo. They wisely omitted the senior quote I submitted. My mother had to physically threaten me to attend my own graduation.

No one was overly mean to me or anything: I just didn't want to be there. If they had told me I didn't have to come back after Spring Break, I would have done the Snoopy happy dance for a full week.

The punishment is over, high school seniors: FFS, fly away and be free!

Okay, I feel better now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on April 27, 2020, 01:34:32 PM
Okay, no . . . I can't identify with the severe "trauma" high school seniors seem to be experiencing by missing out on their post-Spring Break school activities.

I hated high school, especially my senior year. To me, high school was nothing but a prison. I don't think back fondly on having to ask to go pee or waking up early for mind-numbing classes or the shredded carrots in green jello for lunch or dealing with the a$$hole students in the hallways. When the girl I would have taken to prom told me we were boycotting the dance because our early 80's Mid-South podunk high school officials wouldn't let a white guy take a black girl to the prom, my only real response was relief. I didn't buy a yearbook. I didn't show up for the senior group photo. They wisely omitted the senior quote I submitted. My mother had to physically threaten me to attend my own graduation.

No one was overly mean to me or anything: I just didn't want to be there. If they had told me I didn't have to come back after Spring Break, I would have done the Snoopy happy dance for a full week.

The punishment is over, high school seniors: FFS, fly away and be free!

Okay, I feel better now.

Nerds everywhere (including me) applaud your insightful synopsis of high school, at least how it is expereinced by many.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ciao_yall on April 27, 2020, 04:57:30 PM
Okay, no . . . I can't identify with the severe "trauma" high school seniors seem to be experiencing by missing out on their post-Spring Break school activities.

I hated high school, especially my senior year. To me, high school was nothing but a prison. I don't think back fondly on having to ask to go pee or waking up early for mind-numbing classes or the shredded carrots in green jello for lunch or dealing with the a$$hole students in the hallways. When the girl I would have taken to prom told me we were boycotting the dance because our early 80's Mid-South podunk high school officials wouldn't let a white guy take a black girl to the prom, my only real response was relief. I didn't buy a yearbook. I didn't show up for the senior group photo. They wisely omitted the senior quote I submitted. My mother had to physically threaten me to attend my own graduation.

No one was overly mean to me or anything: I just didn't want to be there. If they had told me I didn't have to come back after Spring Break, I would have done the Snoopy happy dance for a full week.

The punishment is over, high school seniors: FFS, fly away and be free!

Okay, I feel better now.

Nerds everywhere (including me) applaud your insightful synopsis of high school, at least how it is expereinced by many.

I wasn't a nerd, but by my senior year I was over high school. I was taking the few classes needed to graduate and go on to college. I was working and many of my friends were older. I did have a bunch of activities and friends who went to other high schools. I wasn't that interested in prom and didn't go. I missed graduation to start college summer school to get ahead.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 29, 2020, 12:22:51 PM
How did we go from "need to identify at least 20% budget cut" to "university cold easily find money for pet project" in five minutes flat?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on April 30, 2020, 09:37:14 AM
Dear University Higher Admin folks,
Do you REALLY think it's a good idea to make the department with the largest undergraduate major on campus cut our number of TAs and instructors?  This means that classes will not get taught or have even longer waitlists or overly crowded classes or some combination of all of these things.  Students are paying a lot of money to be Basketweaving majors and this will make it EVEN HARDER for them to graduate on time.  Do you really think it will save any money by having fewer classes?  Plus, this a complete 180 from the last two years of "we need to offer more classes, increase sections, get students off the waitlists and into the classes.  You open the classes, we will find the money for the TAs & instructors".  If you could plan and think ahead more than 6 months out and stop panicking, we could have a reasonable plan.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on April 30, 2020, 09:45:45 AM
You really are terrible at communication. No wonder I end up bugging you over instant messaging....it's the only way I'd get answers from you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on April 30, 2020, 10:43:14 AM
So janitorial staff are walking into your office without masks to empty your wastebasket? Put up a "Do Not Enter" sign and dump your own trash. Fill at a custodial request ticket online. Work at home, like you claim to be doing when classes are in session on campus and your never around. And stop the daily emails to me about janitors not wearing masks.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on May 01, 2020, 05:36:15 AM
Why, yes, when my department hears about a stupid initiative you local Admins undertook only when our department counterparts on the other campuses tell us--via an email asking us to sign a letter of complaint to the Big Admins against our own campus department--we are, justifiably, mad as hell.

Two of the three of you being involved in this stupid initiative and decision can be attributed to you having zero institutional memory (thanks to our Admin revolving door of the past decade). The department chair cannot use that excuse, as he's been here 20 years, but he just doesn't give a damn and in fact told a chair at another campus that the initiative and decision were "none of [his] damned business."  Clearly the professional courtesy you three demand from us--and have always been given, even often grudgingly rather than your having earned it--applies only in one direction.  You can kiss that goodbye from now on.

And the 90 minutes we spent in yesterday's virtual meeting only made things worse:  rather than being the Kumbayah moment you thought your half-assed "gee, we're sorry" would gain, it had the opposite effect of solidifying faculty against the chair, dean, and president.  Nice work, y'all.  Any benefit of the doubt you used to get from us is officially long gone.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on May 01, 2020, 10:40:36 AM
I think that this discussion about a path forward is very interesting and helpful.  However, using a cruise ship as an analogy for our group does not bring very appealing things to mind right now between viruses and potential icebergs in our career waters. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on May 01, 2020, 03:50:31 PM
How nice of you to delegate me to organize an event, even agree with me on when it'll occur, and then hold it behind my back without me.  I feel so valued now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 02, 2020, 08:32:47 AM
"Dear Students,

Your abject and pathetic whining to your department chair about MY class and you claim that "he won't tell us what is on the final (I have, it's in the syllabus, and the announcements, and the course content) and we are so worried" is ABSOLUTELY INTOLERABLE.

You want to know what is on the final exam? (Never mind you have exam 3 on Monday - try focusing on that)

Fine. 

Everything.  From this semester AND review from last semester.

In MC, TF, Short-answer, Matching, Essay and Diagram forms.  200 points, 100 objective questions, 100 essay points. 

I will be looking for cheating, and if I find it you will fail."

Also wish I could say: "This nice, easier, shorter final exam I have sitting here ready to go.  That one is history"

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on May 03, 2020, 04:55:58 PM
Dear graduate student,
When you send me an email at 5pm on Friday to request a favor, you do not need to send a follow-up email at noon on Sunday telling me that everyone else on your committee has responded and asking if I can get back to you about whether I agree with granting the favor. I know this is a high anxiety time for you, but for frack's sake, annoying people that you are asking favors from is not the road to success. [I granted the favor anyway].
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on May 05, 2020, 08:13:19 AM
Oh my god. I can't take 3 hours of your inane chatter. I'm too tired for this.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on May 05, 2020, 09:32:22 AM
Enough with the Zoom meetings!  I am all Zoomed out.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 05, 2020, 09:35:56 AM
When you email me "worried about your grade", but have failed to read the email explaining the guidebook, AND have failed to note that 20% of your grade hasn't happened yet, AND 30% hasn't been graded yet, it becomes difficult to take you seriously.

Seriously.  Calm the f down.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on May 05, 2020, 02:03:38 PM
[Squints eyes and uses best Clint Eastwood voice]

Go ahead, make my day!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on May 05, 2020, 04:07:32 PM
Just stamp them all "not approved." I don't need to review them.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 06, 2020, 03:16:17 PM
I just took the mandatory training.  It had a good level of detail and it is very clear what I am to do as a worker.

However, if that's really the new operating procedure for the foreseeable future that may be more than six months, then there's no way that local K-12 schools will be physically meeting in the fall.  Colleges, either. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 06, 2020, 07:57:11 PM
Toxic Parent:

Please stop watching Fox News. Please stop telling me to not trust any other reliable news source. Please stop calling me stupid for not believing everything you say. Just stop.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Thursday's_Child on May 07, 2020, 10:25:43 AM
Dear student,

I'm sorry that you're stressed about your potential grade in this class.  I'm also sorry that your stress levels are so high that you didn't notice the posted instructions to NOT BOTHER ME ABOUT GRADES while I'm finishing up the grading.

I'm even more sorry that, having slacked your way through this semester, you think that informing me of your stress will make any difference.  I regret to inform you that your belated grade-grubbing efforts were a complete waste of time.  Because of Covid, the whole faculty is under orders to pass as many students as possible - unfortunately, I don't think even you meet the extremely stringent new standards for failure.

Enjoy your grade.  Perhaps you'll even feel proud of it.

Sincerely yours,

Dr. T. Child
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on May 08, 2020, 10:34:52 AM
Don't leave valuables in your car.

Don't leave valuables in your car.

Don't leave valuables in your car.

Also, lock your effing car.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 08, 2020, 10:44:36 AM
Being angry at me because the paper you wrote was incoherent does NOT make me want to spend time helping you sort out your word salad.

Also this Word-Salad seems to be part Caesar, part taco, and part fruit salads.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on May 08, 2020, 10:53:33 AM
Okay, I'll give it to you: I'm the worst professor in the world--possibly the worst human being on the entire planet (on the positive side, there's nowhere for me to go but up). However, you still only submitted a third of the daily work and just one of four essays.

Before you file that grade appeal you're threatening me with, slackerdoodle, you might want to learn how third-grade math works.

[I'm betting my awesome dean is about to tell this student something similar
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 09, 2020, 07:06:52 AM
Dear Dr. No

Do you really think you are the ONLY person in the world who has thought of these issues?  How about you bring some suggested solutions; your overarching brilliance should allow for that, surely.

The reality is this:  A decision will be made, and then you (like the rest of us) will have to teach under those restrictions.  Teaching is your job.  You can't NOT do it.  Stop it with the ultimatums.

Unless, of course, you want to become the poster child for "Tenure DOESN'T mean you can't be fired.  Not doing your job = fired".

No Love

Fishprof
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on May 12, 2020, 06:18:39 AM
Dear Colleague,

If we were in the same space right now I'd be tempted to come over and punch you. You have been all over the map this year with how you want things. First, deviating from what we normally do, and then going back to it.

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!

Yours,
Archaeo
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 15, 2020, 04:26:38 AM
Dear employer,

We have many, many, many policies on bitsy details like how we can sign our emails and what type of punctuation we are allowed to use in official documents.

You know that "all" the technical people have Macs or Linux boxes.

Why, then, do I receive multiple files per week that are named in such a manner that I cannot simply download and use that file?

Why are people sending me widely distributed files named something like "All Managers Meeting 5 10 2020_afterBillReviewed & Marge did all THEtyposv..7..R..23.pptx.pdf" attached to an email with the subject line "please read and review these slides"?

I'd leave everything as filed email if the subject lines were more useful (e.g., Slides from All Managers Meeting 5.10.2020) or had any confidence that the search feature would pull up this email if I searched for a standard data format.

This is another case where you're training me the real expectations are greatly different from the official written expectations.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on May 15, 2020, 03:34:36 PM
Yes, I really do spend ten minutes of every hour thinking about ways to irritate you. On weekends, I spend twenty minutes an hour!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 15, 2020, 06:53:56 PM
You can't simultaneously argue that we MUST be open for F2F classes in the Fall, AND that YOU should be allowed to elect an online or blended delivery as you see fit.

If you want flexibility, you should be willing to give some in return.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Antiphon1 on May 16, 2020, 08:14:21 PM
Give me a break.  You want to honor the brave (name your favorite underpaid public worker)?  How about you start voting to fund (name your favorite underfunded public service)?  Founding yet another nonprofit to shelter your excess income to ostensibly elevate our awareness just screams entitled baloney.  How about you just pay your damn taxes, hum?

On the other hand, this whole phenomenon spawned a publication so maybe irritation leads to scholarship.  I still can't bring myself to thank you for the inspiration. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on May 17, 2020, 05:45:39 AM
Good lord, DECIDE, already.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 17, 2020, 09:42:13 AM
When I didn't respond to your 9:30pm email (over a VERY obvious settings error on a practice final) until 8am the next morning, you had already sent your complaining email to the Dean (who sent me an annoyed email).  You want to argue you deserve a grade bump?  Take it up with her.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 18, 2020, 11:15:00 AM
Why in the absolute hell are we asking students to use software that is over 17 years old that may or MAY NOT run on their computers? Aren't we dealing with enough BS? Will SOMEONE PLEASE REWRITE THESE LABS?!!!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 18, 2020, 11:52:23 AM
I see a volunteer in the audience to rewrite the labs because people who can see the problem can solve it.


She writes knowing she has a Commodore 64 emulator installed on multiple computers to play M.U.L.E. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.U.L.E.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 18, 2020, 12:39:37 PM
I see a volunteer in the audience to rewrite the labs because people who can see the problem can solve it.


She writes knowing she has a Commodore 64 emulator installed on multiple computers to play M.U.L.E. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.U.L.E.)

Unfortunately, I already have with some of them. It is total insanity to expect students, who may not be as computer-literate as some people think, to download, install and USE software that is no longer being supported.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on May 18, 2020, 01:15:26 PM
I see a volunteer in the audience to rewrite the labs because people who can see the problem can solve it.


She writes knowing she has a Commodore 64 emulator installed on multiple computers to play M.U.L.E. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.U.L.E.)

Unfortunately, I already have with some of them. It is total insanity to expect students, who may not be as computer-literate as some people think, to download, install and USE software that is no longer being supported.

Better watch out or you'll find yourself volunteered into leading the effort to update & modernize ALL the labs!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 18, 2020, 03:12:56 PM
I see a volunteer in the audience to rewrite the labs because people who can see the problem can solve it.


She writes knowing she has a Commodore 64 emulator installed on multiple computers to play M.U.L.E. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.U.L.E.)

Unfortunately, I already have with some of them. It is total insanity to expect students, who may not be as computer-literate as some people think, to download, install and USE software that is no longer being supported.

Better watch out or you'll find yourself volunteered into leading the effort to update & modernize ALL the labs!

Been there, done that, been in charge of the T-shirts.

That experience is still part of my current work life, even with no students involved.

Some days, I get excited because the code is practically modern Fortran 77 or, dare to dream, ANSI-compliant Fortran 90!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: dr_codex on May 18, 2020, 09:01:15 PM
I see a volunteer in the audience to rewrite the labs because people who can see the problem can solve it.


She writes knowing she has a Commodore 64 emulator installed on multiple computers to play M.U.L.E. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.U.L.E.)

Unfortunately, I already have with some of them. It is total insanity to expect students, who may not be as computer-literate as some people think, to download, install and USE software that is no longer being supported.

Better watch out or you'll find yourself volunteered into leading the effort to update & modernize ALL the labs!

Been there, done that, been in charge of the T-shirts.

That experience is still part of my current work life, even with no students involved.

Some days, I get excited because the code is practically modern Fortran 77 or, dare to dream, ANSI-compliant Fortran 90!

Know COBOL? New Jersey wants YOU! https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/08/business/coronavirus-cobol-programmers-new-jersey-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/08/business/coronavirus-cobol-programmers-new-jersey-trnd/index.html) The picture they got for this is priceless.

(My State's software package for some key systems is little better. Possibly unhackable, since the kids would have to call their grandparents to learn the language. But not comforting.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on May 18, 2020, 09:33:36 PM
That looks like the exact room where they took us on a field trip to the Ohio State Computer lab in 6th grade (so, umm....1964. Wow.)

Right down to the double reels in cases and the desk (sitting on a floor with tiles that came up with a suction handle so they could work on the wires that snaked all around underneath.)

But I don't think COBOL came around until later, because I recall a cousin talking about learning it several years later (well, 6 or 8, to be exact) because it was when I was going to school there by that time (but not in computer science).

They cut down part of one of the experimental corn fields to build the building it was installed in.

The rest of the field was still there, at least two years ago.

So was the building.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on May 19, 2020, 05:28:13 AM

Been there, done that, been in charge of the T-shirts.

That experience is still part of my current work life, even with no students involved.

Some days, I get excited because the code is practically modern Fortran 77 or, dare to dream, ANSI-compliant Fortran 90!

Bah! Newfangled nonsense. I programmed Fortran on punch cards, the way God intended!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: waterboy on May 19, 2020, 05:57:58 AM
Don't ask me what the Grad School policy is. You're the Associate Dean for Grad studies...pick up the phone and call.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 19, 2020, 06:13:54 AM

Been there, done that, been in charge of the T-shirts.

That experience is still part of my current work life, even with no students involved.

Some days, I get excited because the code is practically modern Fortran 77 or, dare to dream, ANSI-compliant Fortran 90!

Bah! Newfangled nonsense. I programmed Fortran on punch cards, the way God intended!

That reminds me of my Fortran prof in college who gave us some punch cards. I wonder if I still have mine...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on May 19, 2020, 06:28:21 AM
When you say things like you don't think faculty "appreciate" just how bad things are, you are essentially calling your faculty idjits.  We have been in a budget crisis for years due to absurdly horrible mismanagement from the top. So, you really don't think that your faculty can correctly solve the equation of things are already bad + COVID = dire straits
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 19, 2020, 06:33:12 AM
When you say things like you don't think faculty "appreciate" just how bad things are, you are essentially calling your faculty idjits.  We have been in a budget crisis for years due to absurdly horrible mismanagement from the top. So, you really don't think that your faculty can correctly solve the equation of things are already bad + COVID = dire straits?

Any faculty who really, truly, no-foolin' appreciated how bad it was before have already left.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on May 19, 2020, 06:34:09 AM
When you say things like you don't think faculty "appreciate" just how bad things are, you are essentially calling your faculty idjits.  We have been in a budget crisis for years due to absurdly horrible mismanagement from the top. So, you really don't think that your faculty can correctly solve the equation of things are already bad + COVID = dire straits?

But dire straits => "Money for nothing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRDgihVDEko)"
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on May 19, 2020, 07:21:48 AM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on May 19, 2020, 08:36:57 AM
No, I can't make the custodians wear masks and gloves. I'm not their supervisor. Put a custodial issue ticket, where maybe the supervisor will see it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on May 19, 2020, 10:44:19 AM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.

I'm guessing your sweetheart is a man.  I had a similar when Mr. Dr. Geneticist sliced his finger - no you don't need stitches, you haven't lost much blood (really), it will be OK, you will not bleed to death from a cut that size. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on May 19, 2020, 11:04:14 AM
HYPOCHONDRIAC THREAD
       _________
      / THIS WAY
      \_________



M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on May 19, 2020, 01:08:02 PM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.

I'm guessing your sweetheart is a man.  I had a similar when Mr. Dr. Geneticist sliced his finger - no you don't need stitches, you haven't lost much blood (really), it will be OK, you will not bleed to death from a cut that size.

Mr. Geneticist must not have grown up in a rural area like the one I did.  Cuts, sprains, etc. are just a part of everyday life.  Well, maybe not every day, unless you're really clumsy.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 19, 2020, 01:25:53 PM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.

I'm guessing your sweetheart is a man.  I had a similar when Mr. Dr. Geneticist sliced his finger - no you don't need stitches, you haven't lost much blood (really), it will be OK, you will not bleed to death from a cut that size.

Mr. Geneticist must not have grown up in a rural area like the one I did.  Cuts, sprains, etc. are just a part of everyday life.  Well, maybe not every day, unless you're really clumsy.

Most days when we were kids and unsupervised.  The questions then were always the Erma Bombeck-type questions for her kids:

* Whose blood is it?

* Is it a lot of blood?

* Where is the blood?  On the expensive sofa or something washable?

* What caused the blood and can you get little brother to be quiet about a clear accident?

To this day, I know when it's going to rain because of an accident that scared my friends enough to run get my mom, but didn't scare my mom enough to take me to the emergency room.

As I was explaining to my child just yesterday, one of my great uncles lost everything but his pinky and thumb on one hand due to a home meat processing accident and he still played cards at every opportunity for the next sixty years, so hush up about your minor little cut that doesn't even need a band-aid.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Puget on May 19, 2020, 02:41:13 PM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.

I'm guessing your sweetheart is a man.  I had a similar when Mr. Dr. Geneticist sliced his finger - no you don't need stitches, you haven't lost much blood (really), it will be OK, you will not bleed to death from a cut that size.

Mr. Geneticist must not have grown up in a rural area like the one I did.  Cuts, sprains, etc. are just a part of everyday life.  Well, maybe not every day, unless you're really clumsy.

Yep--
My back-to-the-lander parents let me spend my summers running around outside with the neighbor kids barefoot and largely unsupervised. The rules were to (a) come in when it gets dark (pretty late in summer in the pacific north west), (b) wash your feet off with the hose before you come in, and (c) ask first if you are eating dinner at the neighbors or inviting the neighbor kids to eat dinner with us.

We understood to get a parent if we were really hurt, but I can't remember that happening much. Blackberry scratches and tree climbing scrapes were par for the course. Stepping on bees and getting stung was the most common injury, but by mid-summer our feet were so tough not much got through.

 I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

 Good times-- I loved those summers, and no one was permanently maimed.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: dismalist on May 19, 2020, 02:52:33 PM
Sweetheart, I'm very sorry you cut your finger. I agree that it looks painful and scary. But you put pressure on it and the bleeding stopped pretty fast. Judging from the stains on the paper towels, you've lost less blood than I leave on a tissue when I wipe my nose during nosebleed season.

So cool it with your fretting about blood loss. Sweets are great when you've had a scare, but you don't need to be replacing blood sugar, and you certainly don't need to be taking iron supplements to prevent anemia. I mean, it's not going to hurt you or deprive others to take these measures, unlike certain hydroxychloroquine swilling world leaders I could mention, but good grief, you're almost forty.

I'm guessing your sweetheart is a man.  I had a similar when Mr. Dr. Geneticist sliced his finger - no you don't need stitches, you haven't lost much blood (really), it will be OK, you will not bleed to death from a cut that size.

Mr. Geneticist must not have grown up in a rural area like the one I did.  Cuts, sprains, etc. are just a part of everyday life.  Well, maybe not every day, unless you're really clumsy.

Yep--
My back-to-the-lander parents let me spend my summers running around outside with the neighbor kids barefoot and largely unsupervised. The rules were to (a) come in when it gets dark (pretty late in summer in the pacific north west), (b) wash your feet off with the hose before you come in, and (c) ask first if you are eating dinner at the neighbors or inviting the neighbor kids to eat dinner with us.

We understood to get a parent if we were really hurt, but I can't remember that happening much. Blackberry scratches and tree climbing scrapes were par for the course. Stepping on bees and getting stung was the most common injury, but by mid-summer our feet were so tough not much got through.

 I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

 Good times-- I loved those summers, and no one was permanently maimed.

I grew up in a part of northern NYC that was, strangely,  country like for some years. All the kids would roam around in the woods and the rules were the same as above: Home at dark, or a tad later, or there'd be hell to pay.

The only injury I remember was falling onto my knees and moving along the gravel of the cul-de-sac we lived on, as I had been running. My knees bled and I ran home to mama. She took one look at the bloody mess and said: What's the problem? You're wearing shorts-the skin will heal!

That builds character. :-)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 19, 2020, 04:54:36 PM
My knees were all healed before I was married, but I always had skinned knees when I was a kid.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on May 19, 2020, 06:19:34 PM
I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

I have a similar memory!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on May 19, 2020, 10:59:25 PM
Same type of childhood. The only major intervention was after I fell down a waterfall and even then it was 3 days before my mom took me to the doctor. (I had hairline fractures in both wrists.)

And I never told my parents about the nail I lost after slamming a car door on my finger while intoxicated...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on May 20, 2020, 03:13:37 AM
I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

I have a similar memory!

Me too! I got a pocket knife for Christmas one year and promptly sliced my finger open. I got a band-aid and then told my parents what happened, and my father's first question was, 'Did you get blood on the carpet?' At the time I thought that was cruel and unfeeling, but in retrospect it was clear that I was fine, so of course he moved on down to the next item on the priority list.

What's the problem? You're wearing shorts-the skin will heal!


Yup. I not so long ago found the perfect trousers (I even posted about them in triumph on the fora), and have since then twice tripped and skinned my knee. Both times my primary concern was whether I had ripped my perfect irreplaceable trousers. (Fortunately they were fine, although the layer of skin on the inside of them was a bit gruesome.)

I am very unsurefooted, however, and have definitely ruined other trousers from such accidents, so it's only a matter of time. My knees, fortunately, continue to regenerate.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sinenomine on May 20, 2020, 03:50:05 AM
Why do you consistently join meetings late and then ask questions — in the most long-winded way possible — that have already been addressed?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on May 20, 2020, 06:11:09 AM
All these meeting about "how will we do our jobs?!" are preventing me from doing my job.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 20, 2020, 08:09:57 AM
All these meeting about "how will we do our jobs?!" are preventing me from doing my job.

Wait until the return-to-work trainings start and it's clear that not a representative-enough sample of workers were asked what they do all day.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on May 20, 2020, 08:15:32 AM
I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

I have a similar memory!

I must have been 10 or so when I accidentally shut my pocket knife on my finger and cut it pretty deep.  In my case, I did eventually tell my Dad who asked "Do you want stitches?".  Well, no I didn't want to go to the doctor so we just bandaged it up and called it good.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sprout on May 20, 2020, 08:55:08 AM
Why do you consistently join meetings late and then ask questions — in the most long-winded way possible — that have already been addressed?

Oh, we have one of these!  He particularly specializes in reopening discussions on divisive things that we'd already decided on, before he showed up.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on May 20, 2020, 09:18:24 AM
Why do you consistently join meetings late and then ask questions — in the most long-winded way possible — that have already been addressed?

Oh, we have one of these!  He particularly specializes in reopening discussions on divisive things that we'd already decided on, before he showed up.

We applauded our dean (silently, because she had requested we mute the Zoom on our side) when she shut down one of these folks who joined the meeting 30 minutes late. We looked like a bunch of those wind-up monkeys that bang cymbals together.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: archaeo42 on May 20, 2020, 09:50:46 AM
Why do you consistently join meetings late and then ask questions — in the most long-winded way possible — that have already been addressed?

Oh, we have one of these!  He particularly specializes in reopening discussions on divisive things that we'd already decided on, before he showed up.

You're giving me flashbacks to a project where I swear some people were using a playbook on how to prevent anything from happening.

"Now, what does X mean again?"
"I'm confused by Y."
etc etc.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on May 20, 2020, 10:18:11 AM
I do vividly recall cutting my finger with the new pocket knife I'd been begging for and finally gotten (at around 8?), and quietly going in to get a bandaid without telling my parents because I figured they might take the knife away if they knew.

I have a similar memory!

I must have been 10 or so when I accidentally shut my pocket knife on my finger and cut it pretty deep.  In my case, I did eventually tell my Dad who asked "Do you want stitches?".  Well, no I didn't want to go to the doctor so we just bandaged it up and called it good.

Something similar happened once when I was about seven and got second-degree burns on my fingers from a faulty popcorn maker.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on May 28, 2020, 04:30:42 PM
If you admins would make a decision or two, the faculty will make it work. But you need to make a decision.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on May 29, 2020, 07:41:31 PM
That is not social distancing.  Even with a mask on, that's not being germ aware.  That's pretty much the opposite of trying to slow the spread during a pandemic.

It's not going to be good next week.  Hope it was worth it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 29, 2020, 09:31:56 PM
Financial Aid, please pull your head out of your ass so that students can get paid to work again!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on May 31, 2020, 09:07:17 PM
Double post.

I'm so frustrated with Financial Aid, that I am tempted to pay the students to work! These kids are just trying to have a job and FA is screwing around and screwing them over.

It has been over a month of waiting!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 01, 2020, 05:28:14 AM
Hey ADMIN!!  I can't do ALL of this.  And every time you call a meeting, I end up doing less and getting MORE to do.

Delegating may clear your plate, but it's just buries mine.  If you aren't going to DO this extra work, why do we have you? 

I'll happily NOT do your job for half of what we pay you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on June 01, 2020, 07:32:43 AM
You know, I don't want to see Trump re-elected any more than you so.  But could we stop with the demonization of Trump supporters?  I can't help noticing that it's not them who are burning and looting in our cities right now.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 01, 2020, 08:13:40 AM
Well, actually, we don't always know who burns and loots at times.

《Agents provocateurs》are not only possible, but not unlikely, and other random bad-faith actors are sometimes imported as well.

Not to say there aren't local residents involved, but the participants in a riot are often a varied bunch.

But I hear your underlying point.

People going on and on, even when you agree with them on broader terms, are a true pain to try to get out of your inner ear.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on June 01, 2020, 01:56:26 PM
Ok, Chancellor, so we got your email saying that senior admin will be furloughed.  That subject line was click-bait, though:  each one of you will take one day's furlough per month for the rest of the year.

So, logically, if this one day per month really does amount to a significant sacrifice on y'all's part, y'all are definitely making way too damned much money.

Or, if it's not a substantial sacrifice (which is more likely), STFU about it and quit beating around the bush about another RIF. Don't point to this as being y'all taking one for the school and then outright firing dozens of us again, like happened in 2017-18.

You can't honestly have it both ways. And at this point, if you're going to do the RIF, go ahead and let us know so we can get our finances/unemployment paperwork in order and get it started.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 01, 2020, 05:55:21 PM
Given that there's been an automatic 12-week extension on unemployment (according to a friend who was laid off last year and was about to run out of their coverage this week) it might be better if they did it sooner, in case you could still qualify for the extra 12 weeks up front.

Not sure if it would really work that way, but there may be a chance...I seem to recall a case several seasons ago when that happened.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 02, 2020, 11:37:00 AM
Given that there's been an automatic 12-week extension on unemployment (according to a friend who was laid off last year and was about to run out of their coverage this week)

Wonder if that 12-week extension is state or federal? Unemployment rules are a strange mix of state and federal rules, which is confusing.

 
Ok, Chancellor, so we got your email saying that senior admin will be furloughed.  That subject line was click-bait, though:  each one of you will take one day's furlough per month for the rest of the year.

So, logically, if this one day per month really does amount to a significant sacrifice on y'all's part, y'all are definitely making way too damned much money.

Most months have 20-21 working days, so 1 furlough day a month is approximately 5% salary reduction for the year. Furloughing a half-dozen highest paid upper admins may save one job among lowest paid employees.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 02, 2020, 06:52:43 PM
Quote
Quote from: mamselle on 01 June 2020, 20:55:21
Quote
Given that there's been an automatic 12-week extension on unemployment (according to a friend who was laid off last year and was about to run out of their coverage this week)

Wonder if that 12-week extension is state or federal? Unemployment rules are a strange mix of state and federal rules, which is confusing.

I'll ask and come back to let you know.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 02, 2020, 07:25:43 PM
My friend just wrote back.

It's Federal.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 05, 2020, 03:53:44 PM
I finished the accreditation report today!

(Instead, I'm promising myself not to pend the entire weekend on it.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on June 05, 2020, 04:28:42 PM
My friend just wrote back.

It's Federal.

M.

But it's not quite automatic; she found out she still has to apply.

Sorry for any misinformation.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 06, 2020, 02:25:10 AM
My friend just wrote back.

It's Federal.

M.

But it's not quite automatic; she found out she still has to apply.

Sorry for any misinformation.

M.

Thanks, mamselle. I encouraged employee to ask, and he learned that his husband will be eligible if he doesn't go back to work because childcare programs are still limited by enrollment caps. Once he told me that, I had a chance to suggest some flexible scheduling options that might help with the childcare issue, too.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: kiana on June 07, 2020, 05:40:38 AM
Don't try to feed me your conspiracy theory bullshit that you picked up because you can't handle reality.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 07, 2020, 09:55:07 AM
Doing this course online in the summer was a huge mistake.  We are stopping now.  You all get an A
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 07, 2020, 12:32:20 PM
I finished the accreditation report today!

(Instead, I'm promising myself not to pend the entire weekend on it.)

I had those years.  Hang in there!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 07, 2020, 12:38:01 PM
You know, I don't want to see Trump re-elected any more than you so.  But could we stop with the demonization of Trump supporters?  I can't help noticing that it's not them who are burning and looting in our cities right now.

Some of us are watching bemused from our tiny villages in the middle of nowhere and congratulating ourselves on our life choices.

I have no idea how to apportion blame by political party, but I have a whole lot of thoughts on related topics that I've been keeping to myself.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on June 08, 2020, 03:55:09 PM
Please stop requiring training that employs every technique/pedagogical modality y'all tell us to never use with our students. Good grief!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on June 12, 2020, 06:37:51 AM
Starting a conversation that seems to be aimed at being helpful for a number of people, then turning that conversation into yet another "it's all about poor, poor me" party isn't surprising, and it's why a lot of us don't really give a rat's behind about your problems.  Oh, also:  it's not like the rest of us are all so stupid that we can't see what you're doing.

Finally, for reference:  everybody does NOT spend every second of every day thinking about you (you do that enough for all of us, anyway) and plotting how we can be mean to you.  Grow up and get over yourself.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 12, 2020, 09:06:10 AM
Dear Community College,

Those summer online classes for middle schoolers look pretty interesting.  Good on you for subcontracting with a real service provider who seems to know how good online education and picks something great.

Best,

Polly



Dear Service Provider,

I was really happy with how well set up is this week before the course begins.  You communicated appropriately on timing.  The materials to get set up prior to Monday's class were clear and it was a nice touch to have both video and written instructions for most steps.  The organization of your webpages are wonderful and it's very clear how to proceed through the steps to get set up.  It's clear you are a professional online learning provider that put a lot of resources into what normal people need.

My complaint is that the classes that logically go together (i.e., my kid is signed up for all of them across the summer) require different versions of the necessary software.  Thus, I just spent two hours detangling the various versions of Java.  Were I a less techy parent, I wouldn't have even known anything was wrong because I wouldn't have known to check the error console to discover that what looked like the Minecraft screen I expected and that allowed interaction was not actually the Minecraft that was supposed to launch on successful completion.

I am not happy that the first course we were set up to do uses the most modern version of Java while this course requires such an outdated Java version that you had to provide it.

I'm really, really, really unhappy that the absurdly old version of Java didn't also come with clear instructions on how to manage the fact that we have multiple Javas now installed and your freakin' program refused to pick up the right one, despite all the indications on the rest of the machine that we had indeed defaulted to the correct version for this program.  That indicates to me that your program saved a default that we were unable to change except by complete uninstallation and reinstallation.

I suppose I could thank you for my new knowledge in the intricacies of JDK and JRE along with parts of my machine I had never before visited.  However, my professional life that involves substantial programming never needs Java.  This would have been much more useful as the gory details of Python, you know, the actual language used when the kids get programming in these courses.  We only need Java for your tools--tools that could have been packaged as standalone executables that didn't need a Java installation, as some of the courses had.

I have to get some work done today, but I know this saga isn't done because it's very likely that my kid will want to use all these tools after all the classes are done, so I have spend even more time to figure out the way to make all these tools work together while having multiple JDKs installed, switchable, and usable with your tools.  It's possible that I'm going to have to hack your tools so they work as my kid needs them.

Having content experts work independently instead of as a logical curriculum has created extra work for me.  At least I can do the work.  I don't know what happens for the kids who were really excited and then don't have adult help for the other parts.  My bet is that this is again a situation where the kids who would benefit the most from a formal experience get less out of it because the formal experience doesn't go far enough.

Not a happy camper,

Polly
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on June 15, 2020, 11:21:55 AM
For f*ck's sake, not this again. I don't love my students any more than my mechanic loves me or my doctor loves me or my barber loves me. I offer a professional service to my students in what I hope is a professional manner. If I like most of them (which I generally do), then all the better; but if I don't particularly like some of them, it doesn't really make a difference. I'm not taking them home with me, after all.

In fact, if we are truly "having a difficult discussion" here, my guess is that you don't really deal personally with many students because you would then have to admit that some of them (not many, but enough to push our syllabi out to 8-10 pages) are loathsome, ignorant, sociopathic jerks--just like the general population.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on June 15, 2020, 12:28:20 PM
Student:

For the love of all that is holy, please stop emailing me every 15 minutes! I will get to your emails when I can. Sheesh!

BTW, this person started emailing me at noon today.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on June 16, 2020, 06:11:26 PM
NO NO NO! I do not have the capacity to transition this class to online AND deal with that student in this class. Pick one.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on June 21, 2020, 07:33:58 AM
I believe the phrase, "I'll bring it on like Donkey Kong" applies to this situation. See you in the dean's office.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 21, 2020, 08:49:20 AM
Only reading the summaries written by those who are against the endeavor is how people ended up surprised by the last several successes.

Perhaps attending the meetings and reading the reports themselves would be more enlightening.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on June 25, 2020, 06:25:41 AM
<not directed at Polly/others on the thread>

Oh, FFS. It is not all about you!  No wonder "nobody has time" for you and "everybody is so mean" to you--you suck the life out of everyone who has to deal with/listen to you. Get over yourself.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 25, 2020, 07:20:01 AM
Dear Provost.  Stop Talking.  You confuse everyone when you try to explain things and get them wrong virtually all the time.  Are you trying to become a President?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on June 25, 2020, 05:19:48 PM
Thank you for giving clear instructions, with working links to needed forms, and adequate notice of your need for information. I particularly appreciated the email subject line of [no subject], which clearly signaled that this is a high priority request.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: RatGuy on June 27, 2020, 06:52:27 AM
You shouldn't issue a grade change in my name without talking to me first. Maybe you should change a student's grade without knowing the full story, or change it on the basis of something other than class performance. I'm the instructor of record and my butt is on the line when the inevitable blowback happens.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 28, 2020, 06:41:22 AM
Yep, that's one of the bazillion annoyances of living in an urban area.

Those of us who purposely chose a different living arrangement that includes a house bigger than a bread box with a back yard and a porch are laughing at your 'there's nowhere to eat take-out' whine. We don't really have take-out options or eat-in options during normal times, but we all have big kitchens and many of us have grills in our backyards and have worked put how to get food.

You know why money is always tight for you?  I do and now you're no better off in terms of the cultural activities than we who watch on a screen are.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on June 28, 2020, 08:27:02 AM
It will be fine, sweetie.  All will be back to normal next week.  Hang in there.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on June 28, 2020, 10:43:11 AM
It will be fine, sweetie.  All will be back to normal next week.  Hang in there.
.

Yep, we just broke it to our kid that his fall schooling will be 100% online.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on July 01, 2020, 03:59:33 PM
Well, that was a complete disaster.*  So, sure, let's do it again. We all have so much time on our hands, am I right?  I mean, just the other day, I was thinking, "I have absolutely nothing to do for the next two hours. I wish there was another meeting that I could attend."  I just can't even . . .

* this post was edited for strong language.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on July 01, 2020, 06:33:37 PM
Everything is fine. 
Nothing is late. 
It is all under control.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on July 01, 2020, 07:16:13 PM
Everything is fine. 
Nothing is late. 
It is all under control.

I wish I could say that...
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on July 02, 2020, 08:24:18 AM
You know, when you let go of the idea that higher education produces and employs people who are better able to engage in ethical and moral behavior---and by "let go" I mean drop the idea like it's a hot f*cking rock encased in electrified razor wire---the actions of the College suddenly make a lot more sense.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sinenomine on July 02, 2020, 10:54:08 AM
You know, when you let go of the idea that higher education produces and employs people who are better able to engage in ethical and moral behavior---and by "let go" I mean drop the idea like it's a hot f*cking rock encased in electrified razor wire---the actions of the College suddenly make a lot more sense.

Wow, fishbrains — sounds like we work at the same place!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on July 15, 2020, 07:29:16 PM
Congratulations! We’ll miss you, but I hope you’ll enjoy your retirement!

(Unfortunately, he decided not to take retirement incentive.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on July 17, 2020, 10:22:12 AM
This is exactly why I do not place orders by phone. #&$%$$W@@$%@$%@
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: bio-nonymous on July 17, 2020, 12:33:04 PM
IF only you had not given me completely false and misleading information that caused me to completely panic, and after which I spent 2 hours on the phone and email with customer service trying to rectify what turned out to be your mistake! UGGGGGGGH! TGIF.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on July 22, 2020, 02:30:21 AM
Yes, I know you're on leave that week! But if you'd bothered to click the poll about scheduling, you'd have seen that I included times that were not that week.

Fine, you're entirely unavailable during that time. But if you'd read the rest of the email, you'd have seen that I included two other solutions. Work with me here. It almost feels like you're being purposefully obstructionist.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on July 22, 2020, 08:37:04 AM
To guy making the universal hitch hiking gesture: Get out of the exit ramp! We can see you need a lift.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: kaysixteen on July 23, 2020, 09:03:08 PM
Hmmmm... an actual hitchhiker?   When was the last time most folks around here actually saw one of those?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on July 28, 2020, 06:10:51 PM
Unrelated.

No, family member, the 'miracle drug' video touted by the POTUS is BS.

BS.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on July 30, 2020, 03:21:16 AM
Yes, these disagreements are why I wanted to have a meeting in the first place. Isn't it excruciating having these discussions over email?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on July 30, 2020, 07:30:11 AM
I know you're frightened and unhappy because we didn't shut down for two weeks as soon as we learned that our fellow staff member tested positive.  But we all agreed that nobody else on the staff had close contact with her in the days before she went home sick.  The state Department of Health member that we consulted with did not recommend that we shut down.  We haven't heard from a contact tracer ordering a shutdown.  In the absence of either of these, neither I nor the Board of Trustees can shut down a public institution that people still depend on.

For the past week I've been dealing with concerns that we'll catch it for not shutting down, about catching it for shutting down if we have to do so, and about you all being mad at me for not shutting down to relieve your fears.  Plus the clock is ticking on making preparations for a very important Board of Trustees meeting in two weeks to deal with some federal requirements.  No, I don't deal directly with the patrons as much as you all do, but it's still a lot to deal with.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 02, 2020, 07:51:24 AM
When I apologize to you, this is what I'll have in my mind: https://youtu.be/BF_sahvR4mw (https://youtu.be/BF_sahvR4mw).

You suck.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on August 03, 2020, 07:43:30 AM
For crying out loud, people, stop making your shopping trips and beer runs across the state line!  Our neighbors to the south of us have the worst rate of COVID-19 infection in the entire nation.  They've let the epidemic run completely out of control ever since it hit this country, starting with their decision in the spring that holding their giant annual state wide booze-up Carnival was more important than preventing a pandemic.  This is what happens when a pandemic strikes an anything-goes, screw-the-other-guy culture.

We can't fix things across the line, but we could have at least limited our exposure to the disaster down there.  But I guess that was just too much to ask?  Now our county has about the worst per-capita infection rate in the state.  We ought to be doing better than this.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on August 03, 2020, 10:57:22 AM
Two unrelated posts.

1. Why do we need to have a meeting?  With only one task and 4 folks who have already given you their data, I think the next step is that YOU write your report.  Note to self: schedule a commitment that starts 30 min into the meeting to have an excuse to leave if needed.

2. It is not safe to fly.  No, I will not commit to visiting for Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years.  Why?  Because I'm a horrible, selfish person who doesn't want to risk death to eat turkey together as a family.  No, you can't come visit me instead.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on August 03, 2020, 03:39:57 PM
Unrelated.

What in the absolute @#$%^&^%$# is taking so long? Does it really take you a month to answer an email (despite frequent reminders)? SMDH.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 05, 2020, 06:39:07 PM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on August 05, 2020, 06:54:37 PM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on August 05, 2020, 07:03:39 PM
And miss all that nice administrative blathering?? No way!  I've been practicing for months...

In other things I wish I could say:

"When you say something is 'done', that usually means that someone, i.e., you, has completed it with full and mostly accurate information.  This item was neither full nor accurate.  I had to spend DAYS fixing behind you."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 05, 2020, 08:31:17 PM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?

Only if you swear on your life and magic that you’ll return him promptly. Also, we need at least a million dollar cash deposit as a guarantee. Plus your three best faculty and favorite relative as hostages. Maybe a bottle of good scotch, too.

(Correction to original post, “were” not “we’re”. Apologies for careless posting.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 06, 2020, 07:46:17 AM
All your justifications come to nothing because reality doesn't care the reasons.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/05/opinion/coronavirus-exposure-contact-tracing.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage shows the problem with justifications. 

How is 2 h of unmasked contact close enough to have a nice talk with an out-of-state visitor social distancing?  Why was the out-of-state person talking to anyone F2F without the 14 day isolation period?

How is multiple visits in a week with people from outside your bubble social distancing, especially when you had an out-of-state visitor who was clearly visiting lots of people?

How is coming in contact with anyone while waiting for the results of a test, let alone 17 people, an option for anyone who knows the pandemic is a thing?

What part of stay home in your bubble as someone with the privilege to do so was hard to understand?

Yeah, yeah, rules are inconvenient and it's not really your fault for failing to believe the last five months of personal stories just like this on how failing to social distance lead to increased cases.

Your story is the same as everyone else's "Hey, everybody!  It turns out the science is real and I wish I had believed the science instead of rationalizing my behavior as not that risky because I wanted to be mostly normal."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 06, 2020, 09:22:23 AM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?

Only if you swear on your life and magic that you’ll return him promptly. Also, we need at least a million dollar cash deposit as a guarantee. Plus your three best faculty and favorite relative as hostages. Maybe a bottle of good scotch, too.

(Correction to original post, “were” not “we’re”. Apologies for careless posting.)

They fired our JimBob, alas. Everyone should have a JimBob.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: dr_codex on August 06, 2020, 09:46:08 AM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?

Only if you swear on your life and magic that you’ll return him promptly. Also, we need at least a million dollar cash deposit as a guarantee. Plus your three best faculty and favorite relative as hostages. Maybe a bottle of good scotch, too.

(Correction to original post, “were” not “we’re”. Apologies for careless posting.)

They fired our JimBob, alas. Everyone should have a JimBob.

We need JimBob!

Our presentations aren't even being distributed, let alone questions answered. I think the parents are doing a fine job roasting the Admin for this, and they have the power to withhold tuition dollars (and, frequently, alumni support), so I'm happy to draft behind them.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 06, 2020, 11:04:03 AM
I can say from experience that being JimBob sucks and it's an uphill battle to be allowed the mic the third time.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on August 06, 2020, 11:46:06 AM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?

Only if you swear on your life and magic that you’ll return him promptly. Also, we need at least a million dollar cash deposit as a guarantee. Plus your three best faculty and favorite relative as hostages. Maybe a bottle of good scotch, too.


Yeah, so it turns out, according to upper administration, our hostage negotiators were furloughed during the latest "University Commitment to Excellence" initiative, so unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to make that exchange.

Further, I have been told that, according to TPS report 143, section A, subsection 42, part G.86b, your Assistant Provost JimBob is banned from speaking on our campus until he completes the required Administrative Training 101f: Superintend Obfuscation with Protracted Disquisition.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 07, 2020, 07:49:31 PM
Everyone declined your meeting request because you didn’t bother to check calendars. That’s why everyone declined your last meeting, too. We will all decline the one you sent this time, too, since it’s during the general faculty meeting. By the way, you’re on the agenda for the general faculty meeting. You might want to put it on your calendar.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 09, 2020, 06:50:33 AM
I don't have cable TV anymore!!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 09, 2020, 07:50:22 PM
I don't have cable TV anymore!!

I love my cable TV, especially with the new apps that mean the streaming services are also checked when I do a search.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: OneMoreYear on August 10, 2020, 02:04:24 PM
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

We seriously needed your assistant provost JimBob in our recent meeting. I can't even describe the level of meaningless buzzwords that were thrown out as justification for recent decision-making.  Requests for clarification were completely ignored.  Then an administrator actually said that they didn't want to provide specific examples because that would "direct the discussion." The meeting dissolved from there.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 10, 2020, 02:25:29 PM
It's amazing you didn't notice that when you charged up that hill to die, you were tripping over the decaying corpses of the many people who charged before you did.

But it was fun to watch.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: evil_physics_witchcraft on August 10, 2020, 03:21:20 PM
I am so tired of dealing with your ignorance. You cannot prove that China deliberately infected the world with a virus. Why am I even trying to have a conversation with you?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on August 12, 2020, 10:39:13 AM
No, you still don't really want me to lay you off.  You've had two weeks of COVID-19 leave, and a week of normally accrued sick time.  You've got about another week of time put back.  After that I can either put you on unpaid medical leave--which will let you keep your insurance, your past two years of retirement contributions, and your job. 

Or I can lay you off, in which case you might, after a wait of some weeks (Have you been keeping up with the news regarding problems with unemployment coverage, by the way?), draw more than your paycheck--but you'll lose your insurance and your retirement contributions, and I won't be holding your job open for you. 

You can't have your cake and eat it too, as your question regarding whether you could apply for unemployment while on unpaid medical leave with insurance suggests you believe.  Perhaps I'm wrong to suspect malingering here, but your previous ambition to be laid off during the shutdown so you could collect more money for sitting at home makes me less inclined to grant benefit of the doubt. 

If you still really want to be laid off, I can accommodate you, but we need somebody here doing your job.  We are supposed to be essential workers, after all.  If that can't be you, it will have to be somebody else.  That's a lot to give up for a few months worth of generous unemployment benefits that you'll have a hard time collecting and that Congress can't be depended upon to keep going.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 12, 2020, 06:01:18 PM
No, you still don't really want me to lay you off.  You've had two weeks of COVID-19 leave, and a week of normally accrued sick time.

My sympathies. I’ve had a few similar conversations, where I’ve almost bitten my tongue not saying what I was thinking.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Harlow2 on August 13, 2020, 05:24:07 AM
Asking us to continually work out of contract and changing—and changing again— the plan for instruction three weeks prior to the start of the semester is contributing to low morale. Blaming the governor only gets you so far.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: RatGuy on August 13, 2020, 06:07:09 AM
No, my Ninja Turtle shirt isn't my way of secretly signalling that I'm a pedophile-ally, nor is my vintage Magnum PI floral print shirt a way of secretly signalling white supremacists. That you keep telling other people those things means you're a toxic moron.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on August 13, 2020, 06:15:47 AM
Co-authors X & Y, you are a pleasure to work with. I particularly like how you promptly answer emails, catch typos and overlooked points, and send me full citations and proposed transitional text to include those citations into the main body.

Co-author Z, you suck. You never answer emails, went silent for a year, and when you do send me proposed text, it's turgid sludge that requires three rounds of emails (at least you did deign to ansewr those) before I can figure out what you intended to say so I can rewrite it entirely into something comprehensible. I'm never, ever working with you ever again.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 13, 2020, 06:20:08 AM
I wish I could say, ''I actually do understand how you can write such a beautiful meditation on the one hand, and be such a terrible team player on the other. I just wish you'd grow up and take to heart the things you write, and apply them to how you relate to others."

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on August 13, 2020, 08:54:50 AM
The fact that I didn't run screaming for the hills when you said that we were "considering" online instruction in Spring is the only reason that 1000+ students had a quality online lab experience.  The least you could do is give me a supply budget.  I'd prefer a raise, a shiny award, and a vacation, but it's hard to keep things rolling with $0 of support.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 13, 2020, 09:20:28 AM
That could very well be the dumbest policy decision in the history of the University.  NO field trips?  So, having 10 students, socially distanced, in the great outdoors is not OK, but 3 hours in a limited air circulation room is a practice that passes muster?

Who decided this?  The Three Stooges?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: science.expat on August 13, 2020, 07:37:41 PM
That could very well be the dumbest policy decision in the history of the University.  NO field trips?  So, having 10 students, socially distanced, in the great outdoors is not OK, but 3 hours in a limited air circulation room is a practice that passes muster?

Who decided this?  The Three Stooges?

Wow! We’ve managed to keep field trips although the conditions have varied as government restrictions change.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on August 14, 2020, 07:44:09 AM
That could very well be the dumbest policy decision in the history of the University.  NO field trips?  So, having 10 students, socially distanced, in the great outdoors is not OK, but 3 hours in a limited air circulation room is a practice that passes muster?

Who decided this?  The Three Stooges?

Wow! We’ve managed to keep field trips although the conditions have varied as government restrictions change.

That "as government restrictions change" may have something to do with the other school's decision to cancel field trips.  With all the other shifting sands of policy they have to deal with, they may have decided to simplify by eliminating the field trip issue altogether.  Maybe shortsighted, but I can kind of understand the thinking there, if that's it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 14, 2020, 08:08:26 AM
That could very well be the dumbest policy decision in the history of the University.  NO field trips?  So, having 10 students, socially distanced, in the great outdoors is not OK, but 3 hours in a limited air circulation room is a practice that passes muster?

Who decided this?  The Three Stooges?

Wow! We’ve managed to keep field trips although the conditions have varied as government restrictions change.

That "as government restrictions change" may have something to do with the other school's decision to cancel field trips.  With all the other shifting sands of policy they have to deal with, they may have decided to simplify by eliminating the field trip issue altogether.  Maybe shortsighted, but I can kind of understand the thinking there, if that's it.

As a State School, we already have to follow the State Policies (what is recommended for privates is required for us) and the sites we would visit (Audubon sanctuaries and the like) are also following the guidelines, or in some cases, not even open to general public but will allow us.

Blanket policy decisions are typically both too broad and too narrow.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on August 14, 2020, 08:31:33 AM

Blanket policy decisions are typically both too broad and too narrow.

Never thought about it quite that way, but that's a really good way of putting it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 14, 2020, 05:28:28 PM
There’s a slight difference between a 12% and a 15% budget cut. In our case, it’s about $500,000. I don’t have that much in non-salary budget. Either you deliberately lied to faculty this morning when you said “no furloughs and no layoffs” or you’re an idiot who can’t read a budget. Since the budget with your notes about deficit and the summons to a meeting on RIF policy came before the faculty meeting, I conclude that you deliberately lied to our faculty.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on August 15, 2020, 08:19:41 AM
I don't know why I bothered to look up the methodology for the thing you linked on Facebook and post my expert opinion on it.  You might reply this time because I found a different source with a better methodology that agrees with your conclusion.  Maybe.  However, you completely ignored me last time when I typed a page of detailed analysis that disagreed with you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sinenomine on August 17, 2020, 04:59:28 AM
Listing admincritters’ credentials with highest degrees of “ABD” or “graduate coursework” is disingenuous, and just reinforces how poorly qualified they are for their jobs.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: bio-nonymous on August 17, 2020, 03:01:55 PM
Can you whining crybabies just do your work without complaining and emailing me constantly for clarification!!!!!!!!!! You are supposed to be grown adults...with college degrees! Why is this such a mystery to you?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Economizer on August 17, 2020, 04:12:37 PM
I really wish that, if I were not so afraid to comment, that a good part of popular dissent at present is a result of groups that wish to make major problems, like dealing with countering the Coronavirus 19, worse. What are the motives for doing such? I am not clear on that but I sure they will emerge. I would go on to say that thousands upon thousands, and possibly millions will be damaged, disadvantaged, injured, and killed by these amazingly powerful groups of villain's actions! SO, ENOUGH NOT SAID.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 18, 2020, 01:07:18 PM
My current IRB request has just been approved! I hypothesize that there is a positive correlation between the number of times a faculty member requests travel, supplies, and equipment after being told that the department budget for travel, supplies, and equipment was reduced 90% this year and the number of times that faculty member has had a significant personal finance issue (eviction for nonpayment of rent, foreclosure, bankruptcy, appearance on the state list of top 500 tax debtors, etc.). You’ve all just become part of my longitudinal study.



Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 18, 2020, 02:37:16 PM
There's a state list of top 500 tax debtors?  How much does number 499 owe?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on August 18, 2020, 03:21:19 PM
There's a state list of top 500 tax debtors?  How much does number 499 owe?

Which state? Individual or corporate? I’ve been known to have students review and discuss use of these lists as an incentive to pay taxes. Here’s the CA, SC, and WI lists, if you want to explore.

https://www.ftb.ca.gov/about-ftb/newsroom/top-500-past-due-balances/index.html (https://www.ftb.ca.gov/about-ftb/newsroom/top-500-past-due-balances/index.html)

https://dor.sc.gov/top250 (https://dor.sc.gov/top250)

https://www.revenue.wi.gov/Pages/Delqlist/topten.aspx (https://www.revenue.wi.gov/Pages/Delqlist/topten.aspx)

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 18, 2020, 04:09:59 PM
There's a state list of top 500 tax debtors?  How much does number 499 owe?

Which state? Individual or corporate? I’ve been known to have students review and discuss use of these lists as an incentive to pay taxes. Here’s the CA, SC, and WI lists, if you want to explore.

https://www.ftb.ca.gov/about-ftb/newsroom/top-500-past-due-balances/index.html (https://www.ftb.ca.gov/about-ftb/newsroom/top-500-past-due-balances/index.html)

https://dor.sc.gov/top250 (https://dor.sc.gov/top250)

https://www.revenue.wi.gov/Pages/Delqlist/topten.aspx (https://www.revenue.wi.gov/Pages/Delqlist/topten.aspx)

Gross generalization is $100k as the lower bound.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: alto_stratus on August 23, 2020, 12:36:38 PM
Ahhh! Someone please take these plastic drawer thingies. There's no good space for them in my new place, and I am tired of rolling them out of the way.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 24, 2020, 02:05:54 PM
When you say things didn't go as planned, you are suggesting that there was a plan in the first place. I have my doubts.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 24, 2020, 02:41:34 PM
Ahhh! Someone please take these plastic drawer thingies. There's no good space for them in my new place, and I am tired of rolling them out of the way.

Put 'em out on the curb.

They'll be gone in no time.

(I, too, once thought they'd solve problems but they didn't. The curbside shoppers got them as soon as they were out.)

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on August 26, 2020, 02:49:22 PM
To patron: we've had this conversation the other day. Quit picking and choosing staff!
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: kiana on August 26, 2020, 03:10:47 PM
Put 'em out on the curb.

They'll be gone in no time.

(I, too, once thought they'd solve problems but they didn't. The curbside shoppers got them as soon as they were out.)

M.

That's what I did with the queen size mattress when I moved. Apartment manager insisted I needed to pay someone to dispose of it.

Hauled it out and set it by the trash. Less than 10 minutes later someone came by in a sedan, did a Uie, tossed it on top and drove off with the two dudes in the front seats having their windows rolled down and holding it on top with one arm each.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 26, 2020, 04:01:30 PM
You play really well but if you don't get your fingers under control now, you never will.

I want to issue speeding tickets for some of those passages that need to actually go slower than you're playing them.

It's a good problem to have, but still...

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 27, 2020, 08:36:36 AM
When there is a f2/hybrid version of a class and a fully online version, the reasonable accommodation is that the student who can't/won't come to campus takes the online one, NOT that the f2f/hybrid be converted to online for that one student.

And some classes cam't be converted to online and still be the same class - which is what a reasonable accommodation needs to be.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: alto_stratus on August 27, 2020, 01:53:44 PM
OMG. Why are we doing this?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Liquidambar on August 27, 2020, 01:58:51 PM
You think there's a civil war coming and we all need to stock up on guns and ammo.  Who exactly do you think we need to start shooting?  Who do YOU plan to shoot?

(I'm not saying it because I don't really want to hear the answer.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 27, 2020, 04:14:58 PM
If you wanted the cover letter to follow a given format, then you have to tell people what that format is, ideally in the job ad itself.

But, sure, I'll redo my cover letter to match what the formatting requirement is and I can do it tonight.  Thank you for calling and telling me.

I will point out that your pool for this position can't be that big and I have used a version of this cover letter before for the same job title and you interviewed me as a finalist.

I will point out that I have been on the search committee for this same job title and only one person in that search submitted a cover letter in this format.  However, that does explain why that applicant stood out in a weird way because they were following the format that most of us don't know about.  The search committee certainly wasn't told to look specifically for the format.

I will also point out that one reason I am applying for this particular job is to fix processes like this that suck up a lot of time, energy, and good will while providing minimal benefit to anyone.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on August 28, 2020, 06:41:43 AM
The irony of YOU decrying the adversarial atmosphere is too rich to stomach.

Everyone around here seems to think it it YOU and YOUR DIVISION that stonewalls, lies, omits, and generally acts all pissy when asked to do your job.

Methinks thou dost protest too much.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on August 28, 2020, 03:49:36 PM
If you wanted the cover letter to follow a given format, then you have to tell people what that format is, ideally in the job ad itself.

But, sure, I'll redo my cover letter to match what the formatting requirement is and I can do it tonight.  Thank you for calling and telling me.

I will point out that your pool for this position can't be that big and I have used a version of this cover letter before for the same job title and you interviewed me as a finalist.

I will point out that I have been on the search committee for this same job title and only one person in that search submitted a cover letter in this format.  However, that does explain why that applicant stood out in a weird way because they were following the format that most of us don't know about.  The search committee certainly wasn't told to look specifically for the format.

I will also point out that one reason I am applying for this particular job is to fix processes like this that suck up a lot of time, energy, and good will while providing minimal benefit to anyone.

No, the job ad I was sent does not have a link on how to apply and therefore does not have the presentation on formatting you sent me.  The job ad link I was sent goes directly into the big ol' database system with a button to click labeled 'Apply Now'.

There is no reason an internal candidate like me would start at the external how-to-apply job site that requires multiple clicks to get to the job listings themselves.  Even that external site does not have this presentation in a prominent place that is hard to ignore.  Even looking for this presentation didn't bring it up in the first ten clicks.

I'm taking notes on all of this to send suggestions on how to improve the process because it's broken if you're insisting on a specific format for the cover letter and are bouncing applications that don't conform while not actually giving applicants the relevant information.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: histchick on August 30, 2020, 11:57:12 AM
When there is a f2/hybrid version of a class and a fully online version, the reasonable accommodation is that the student who can't/won't come to campus takes the online one, NOT that the f2f/hybrid be converted to online for that one student.

And some classes cam't be converted to online and still be the same class - which is what a reasonable accommodation needs to be.
Yes, to all of this. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on August 30, 2020, 12:07:00 PM
You think there's a civil war coming and we all need to stock up on guns and ammo.  Who exactly do you think we need to start shooting?  Who do YOU plan to shoot?

(I'm not saying it because I don't really want to hear the answer.)

Yeah, buddy. Not a fun question to ask there. Especially at church. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on August 31, 2020, 06:37:57 AM
Huh. I had never before considered simply declining to do my job, and instead telling the person who assigned it to do it themselves. I've passed your email along to up the chain; surely such innovative approaches to this task deserve to be shared and evaluated for broader adoption.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sinenomine on August 31, 2020, 07:26:40 AM
Asking faculty to do childish things in the name of community-building will backfire.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on August 31, 2020, 07:35:54 AM
Some of my colleagues were disappointed that you were chosen as chair, so soon after being hired. They worried that you didn't have the institutional savvy and experience to be effective in dealing with higher admin. And maybe they're right. But I must say, from where I sit, you're doing an outstanding job.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on August 31, 2020, 03:17:59 PM
^Unrelated.

I'm doing research on this site, and no, I don't have a family tree I want to share, or anything else.

STOP peppering me with Pop-ups!!!

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: sinenomine on September 02, 2020, 05:41:20 AM
Sending emails at 4:30 in the morning doesn’t make you look dedicated — it makes you look neurotic.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on September 02, 2020, 06:46:19 AM
No, I don't want to talk to you now "just because we both have the website up."

No-one asked you to review it, and I work for the Exec. Director, not the board members.

And playing the "Gotcha!" game at 8 AM on a Zoom call with other things on the agenda is not cool.

I don't like being ambushed.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on September 02, 2020, 09:26:36 AM
I am happy to do the commiseration dance with you about how bad upper admin's guidance was last spring, but I'm not joining in with my heart. Honestly--they could have done so much worse, and it was so clear they were working really hard to cope appropriately, that I actually don't think they deserve what you're dishing out. Everything was weird and confused then, but look where we are now: all grad students will get extensions on their submission deadlines, and all classes that can't maintain 6-foot distancing are being conducted online, with lots of new tools and training being made available to everyone. Really, not just compared to our peers but compared to my expectations of appropriate resopnses, I feel like our university has done a pretty great job adapting.

But, with exactly the same sincerity that I put into my, "fine, thanks, how are you?"s, I agree: SO VERY SURPRISING that the admin's guidance back in April was unclear and inconsistent! Well, y'know, what can you expect? They must have been taking their cues from the government. tsk tsk.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on September 02, 2020, 10:23:17 AM
After all the confusion and uncertainty, fall semester is starting fairly well. People are still anxious, but most are trying hard to follow guidelines. The weird hybrid classes seem to be working. We might just make it through the entire semester.

(Actually, it’s working better than I expected, but based on the groups of unmasked students I see walking about as I leave campus every day, I expect cases to skyrocket next week.)
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on September 02, 2020, 02:00:49 PM
No, I don't want to talk to you now "just because we both have the website up."

No-one asked you to review it, and I work for the Exec. Director, not the board members.

And playing the "Gotcha!" game at 8 AM on a Zoom call with other things on the agenda is not cool.

I don't like being ambushed.

M.

And after all that...

Be careful when you hit "Reply All" that you know everyone who's on the distribution list.

I just figured out what you're up to. Consistent....and oh, so cute.

It burns me...but that's OK, I have some options of my own, too...

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: alto_stratus on September 02, 2020, 05:31:22 PM
"Watch me - and don't let me put honey in the fridge." zzzzzzzzzzzzz

"People, we need to figure this $h!t out. I'm tired of going round and round. It's ridiculous."
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 06, 2020, 04:03:56 PM
For shizzle. Just don't talk. Just STFU, nod, and smile. It's okay to be quiet and listen. Just shhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 06, 2020, 04:19:20 PM
You're making your point loud and clear.

It's neither the point you think you are making, nor is it one your meant to make.

But it is clear.  And it is loud.

We appreciate you removing all doubt.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on September 08, 2020, 06:56:31 PM
To patron: You've been coming in everyday. We have the same conversation about what we can and can't do for you on the public computers. If you don't like what you're hearing, go to another branch.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: apl68 on September 09, 2020, 02:40:00 PM
Yes, we're glad to take a look at your donated books and put them in the book sale room if we can use them.  Just know that if they were published before dirt was invented we probably won't be able to use them.

Especially if they look and feel like they've spent a few years buried in the dirt.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: polly_mer on September 09, 2020, 04:40:22 PM
Yes, we're glad to take a look at your donated books and put them in the book sale room if we can use them.  Just know that if they were published before dirt was invented we probably won't be able to use them.

Especially if they look and feel like they've spent a few years buried in the dirt.

I have bought those books, but always as part of a 'purchase by mass' excellent deal.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: nescafe on September 11, 2020, 12:59:13 PM
I don't know, GradStudent. If someone told me I could have $500 for submitting a working paper in my field, I wouldn't decline the opportunity just because I didn't want to write a 200-word abstract today. Maybe it's just me.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on September 11, 2020, 02:33:19 PM
I don't report to you.  Therefore, you trying to run my operations is perhaps not going to be popular.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on September 14, 2020, 09:43:56 AM
"not my class, not my students, not my problem"
I took over responsibility for the class for SUMMER only.  You hired someone else to manage the course for Fall.  If they fail to do something, that's on them/you to fix.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: AmLitHist on September 15, 2020, 12:12:59 PM
I absolutely adore Blackboard Collaborate. It works so well and is so user friendly. And this idea of having me teach two sections live virtual lecture (LVL) instead of just putting them online is fabulous--students are so engaged that I can barely get a word in. 

I'm going to head outside now to take pictures of all the pigs flying past my windows, right next to the unicorns pooping rainbows.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 16, 2020, 07:53:50 AM
Um, yeah, about your assertion that your daughter is a "good student":


Good grief.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: onehappyunicorn on September 16, 2020, 09:36:54 AM
Why in the actual hell are kicking that hornet's nest? What is wrong with you? Your actions are going to make things much worse for all of us you ass.
If you really want to pick a fight you live in a town full of dive bars, go take out your aggression at one of them.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: EdnaMode on September 17, 2020, 01:00:43 PM
Dear Administrator,

My apologies that you resent the implication that you’re not doing your job. You misunderstood. There was no imply about it. And if we’re flinging around resentment, I resent being kept in the dark about the screwups in the process that are making things difficult, and potentially dangerous, for everyone. Those are your fault. Stop trying to shift the blame.

All the best,

EM
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: arcturus on September 17, 2020, 03:16:37 PM
Dear Government Agency,

Your position on this matter is making our nation look stupid. While other nations are also taking unusual policy positions on this issue, yours is flouting the natural laws of physics. In the future, it would be helpful if you acknowledged basic scientific facts before developing a science policy opinion that you then foist on the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Fed-Up
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: mamselle on September 17, 2020, 04:55:29 PM
Dear Student's father:

You may indeed have a lot on your mind, but losing your eldest son's ADHD meds when it's so hard to replace them at the moment is unconscionable.

IN SPITE of his insecurities, anxieties, and moments of confusion, he STILL had an excellent lesson, even while having to make up for all the deficiencies you inflicted on him--and the bad-mouthing I know goes on when no-one else is around (because I've heard it coming up the stairs...).

I'm so much more impressed with his maturity and his musicianship in the face of all this, than I already was.

You need to grow up and take some responsibility here.

M.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 17, 2020, 06:48:45 PM
You get to speak for yourself.   As does everyone else in the class.  It is the height of arrogance to think you should speak for others. 
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: hmaria1609 on September 17, 2020, 07:18:13 PM
You read what I read because you were copied on that e-mail.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on September 17, 2020, 07:25:46 PM
HR, please don’t just send emails telling employees that COVID-19 modification requests are extended for months, so they need to complete remote work forms for spring semester. Copy the supervisor, too. You might also  email all supervisors to tell them that medication guidelines have been updated, so they need to review the updated guidelines.

Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: the_geneticist on September 18, 2020, 11:33:39 AM
Dear overly anxious new TA,
Yes, labs are entirely online.  Yes, they are challenging & effective.  Yes, the students do learn a lot.  Just because you "can't picture how this is going to work" doesn't mean it's impossible.  No, I will not send you "all the materials for labs" right now.  You'll get them the same time as the other TAs in 2 weeks.  You know, when your contract starts.  Calm down and do something else in your last few weeks of Summer.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Vkw10 on September 19, 2020, 02:12:17 AM
The report is due today, so you’ll have two weeks to compile data. You’ll get it before I go home today. Contacting me repeatedly to remind me that it’s due today is wasting my time.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: jimbogumbo on September 19, 2020, 12:23:40 PM
The two of you are both despicable asswipes.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on September 21, 2020, 02:34:28 AM
I'm glad you've found a situation that works for you. Do you realize that this arrangement that you spent all summer faffing about before settling on was exactly the same arrangement that I suggested back in May? Because I do. I spent all fracking summer trying to get you to agree on something consistent---no no no! you said. Students will indeed appreciate a variety of approaches across different teachers on different days. They will find it invigorating and exciting! No need for us to deliver some logistically coherent online class. Let us all do our own thing!

Now it is September and you're all basically doing exactly the same thing that I suggested back in May. All that is different is that you think you came up with it on your own. And you know what? I'm happy to let you have that. I don't insist on being credited with this idea. Honestly, it's not a tremendously innovative idea, and I really don't care who is credited with it. But I deeply wish that I hadn't spent all summer trying to drag you towards something and getting jerked around and blown off by you if the identical endpoint could have been reached back in May.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ab_grp on September 21, 2020, 08:23:50 AM
If you win this [professional org] election, I'll eat your tiara.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on September 23, 2020, 09:05:36 AM
Dude, you're teaching that seminar. Not me. I coordinate from on high, but that student is yours. I answered her email and CCed you and directed her to you because you teach her seminar. Don't volunteer me as someone she shouldn't hesitate to email with questions! She shouldn't hesitate to email you with questions. You're on very thin ice with me already (not that I have any power to do anything if you crash through). Don't make more work for me. Deal with your own damn students.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 23, 2020, 09:42:23 AM
Don't berate the President in a meeting for "lack of communication about X" when doing so exposes that you haven't
1) Read any of the announcements about X; or
2) Attended any of the meetings about X; or
3) Done the mandatory training about X.

You look like a damn fool, AND you make the rest of us faculty (we faculty?)look disengaged by association. 

You wouldn't take this laziness from your students, why should we take if from you?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 23, 2020, 07:14:02 PM
Librizzles--Stop changing the f*cking URLs to the awesome, extremely helpful material on the Library's web site. Or at least send us out an email telling us we need to update the links in our courses. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

[note: we have a totally super-awesome library staff, but, well, arrrrggghhhh!]
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: San Joaquin on September 23, 2020, 07:34:06 PM
Duuuuude. You make even my moderate efforts look like sheer genius.  Um, thank you?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: ergative on September 25, 2020, 03:51:20 AM
Oh, dear--I agree that if you don't like sciency things and graphs and so on, then my class is not for you. I'm not at all upset that you want to switch. Of course you should choose courses that suit your interests! But are you sure you want to switch into that other class? Because you have to do actual math for that one.

--unrelated--
Goddammit, superold fancyprof, I sent you those exhaustive instructions, with screenshots for every step, so that you would be able to do the task for the class I'm coordinating. I understand if you won't have time to work through the instructions until next week, but when you tell me to 'feel free to [do task] until I get to it' do you realize you're saying 'feel free to do my job for me'? Because that's what you're telling me to do. I'm working very, very hard to cut everyone slack because learning new digital skills is hard, but the more I think about you in particular, the more I feel eyeball flame rage. 'Feel free to do my job for me.' Fuck you.

--sort of related---
I know we've clashed a bit on certain structural disagreements, but I really respect how you've learned all these new skills. Our clashes have been about pedagogy and structural decisions, not about any determinedly maintained cluelessness with tech, and I respect that. Also, I quite like the discovery you made about the superiority of Tool B over Tool A. I've been very careful to credit you and say that I've decided to make the switch to Tool B myself because of what you've told me, and I've felt as if our interpersonal frictions have eased a bit. I wish superold fancyprof were more like you.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: Economizer on September 25, 2020, 03:59:28 AM
 Has Mn...what's his name..uh, the money guy, done a..I guess, a cash flow analysis of reduced cash outlay due loss of Social Security recipients, SS contribution reduction due to unemployment? Short term? Long term? Etc.?
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: fishbrains on September 25, 2020, 07:02:19 AM
I don't give a ripe f*ck what you name you kid. All I said was that if you call it "Tess," you are clearly showing you don't read Thomas Hardy novels.

It wasn't intended as an inside joke between me and the voices inside my head, but we had a good time with it anyway.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: wareagle on September 25, 2020, 08:16:21 AM
You do realize that without a major expenditure of money, this building isn't suitable for the purpose you intend, right?  I understand you have a space utilization problem.  But don't screw up my program on account of it.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: FishProf on September 25, 2020, 08:21:05 AM
You can't just tell someone to Zoom WHILE you also lecture.  You have to both SHOW THEM how to do it AND provide the equipment to do so.

Who do you think you are?

Fiat lux *may have* have worked once.  Fiat Zoom does not.
Title: Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
Post by: marshwiggle on September 25, 2020, 08:35:24 AM
You do realize that without a major expenditure of money, this building isn't suitable for the purpose you intend, right?  I understand you have a space utilization problem.  But don't screw up my program on account of it.

Experienced this exact scenario a few years back. Once they realized what the cost would be to retrofit the other space for our needs, they $eemed to under$tand the problem$ involved and recanted.