Author Topic: the "things you wish you could say" thread  (Read 35358 times)


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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #480 on: August 06, 2020, 11:04:03 AM »
I can say from experience that being JimBob sucks and it's an uphill battle to be allowed the mic the third time.
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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #481 on: August 06, 2020, 11:46:06 AM »
Next time, let assistant provost JimBob do all the talking. He made a much better impression than you did at faculty meeting. He gave clear, concise answers the few times you let him speak. He also answered the question asked, instead of launching into obviously canned responses that we’re vaguely related to question.

(Faculty senate grilled president and provost today.)

Our grilling in scheduled for next week. May we borrow Assistant Provost JimBob so we might actually get some of the questions answered?

Only if you swear on your life and magic that you’ll return him promptly. Also, we need at least a million dollar cash deposit as a guarantee. Plus your three best faculty and favorite relative as hostages. Maybe a bottle of good scotch, too.

Yeah, so it turns out, according to upper administration, our hostage negotiators were furloughed during the latest "University Commitment to Excellence" initiative, so unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to make that exchange.

Further, I have been told that, according to TPS report 143, section A, subsection 42, part G.86b, your Assistant Provost JimBob is banned from speaking on our campus until he completes the required Administrative Training 101f: Superintend Obfuscation with Protracted Disquisition.


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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #482 on: August 07, 2020, 07:49:31 PM »
Everyone declined your meeting request because you didn’t bother to check calendars. That’s why everyone declined your last meeting, too. We will all decline the one you sent this time, too, since it’s during the general faculty meeting. By the way, you’re on the agenda for the general faculty meeting. You might want to put it on your calendar.
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