How to deal with student who told me that he pays for my salary?

Started by hamburger, January 26, 2020, 01:09:58 PM

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Descartes

Take out a dime from your pocket and hand it to him, saying "Here's your portion of it back since you aren't happy."

Myword

This insolence is so wrong I don't know where to begin. Take him or her aside and say firmly that it is untrue and disrespectful. You are not a civil servant nor his personal tutor. Even if it was true, your salary might be like 3 cents, compared to the tuition he paid. Profs need to work with unprepared unintelligent students, but not insolent ones.


This is trivial by comparison. In a college library reference desk was a bowl of candy. A student was offered a piece. He said,"okay, I paid for this with my tuition"       true.

apl68

Librarians and library staff are used to being viewed as hired help.  I've seldom if ever heard the "I pay your salary" thing, though.  Just "We should have built a new post office instead of a new library."
If in this life only we had hope of Christ, we would be the most pathetic of them all.  But now is Christ raised from the dead, the first of those who slept.  First Christ, then afterward those who belong to Christ when he comes.

Wahoo Redux

Tell your student that what he is paying for is to be vetted and challenged.  He bought your time and effort to challenge him.  If he cannot meet the challenge  that is also part of what he is paying for----the chance to prove that he can produce college-level work----and this is why a college degree has worth.

I wouldn't worry too much about the experience personally.  Sounds like he is very frustrated and taking it out on you.
Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Spring
Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter--and the Bird is on the Wing.

Caracal

Quote from: Wahoo Redux on January 27, 2020, 08:40:02 AM
Tell your student that what he is paying for is to be vetted and challenged.  He bought your time and effort to challenge him.  If he cannot meet the challenge  that is also part of what he is paying for----the chance to prove that he can produce college-level work----and this is why a college degree has worth.

I wouldn't worry too much about the experience personally.  Sounds like he is very frustrated and taking it out on you.

It doesn't even really work that way in customer service. Just because I'm paying for a meal at a restaurant doesn't mean I get to smoke while I eat my food, take off my shirt, stay after closing time, or insist that they make me something off the menu.

the_geneticist

Hamburger, you are clearly miserable in your job.  Not just frustrated, overworked, underpaid, and feeling disrespected.  I mean honest to God miserable.
Just walk away.  Seriously, this is clearly a very poor fit for you and for these students.  I don't know if you are geographically restricted for a job search, but I think that nearly any other job would be better.  If you want to market your university skills you could be a private tutor, an SAT prep instructor, a newspaper editor, etc.  If you want to really get away, find a job stocking shelves or checking inventory at a warehouse, deliver for Amazon/Doordash/etc, learn to hang drywall and work construction, etc.

If you stay in academia, you will ALWAYS have the students that come unprepared, forget their previous coursework, or make rude demands.  There is no school that is so special that these students don't exist.  For now if you choose to stay, focus on being fair and consistent and hide your negative attitude towards your students.  They made the choice to show up that day.  Make it worth their day to be there.

Wahoo Redux

Quote from: Caracal on January 27, 2020, 09:47:03 AM
Quote from: Wahoo Redux on January 27, 2020, 08:40:02 AM
Tell your student that what he is paying for is to be vetted and challenged.  He bought your time and effort to challenge him.  If he cannot meet the challenge  that is also part of what he is paying for----the chance to prove that he can produce college-level work----and this is why a college degree has worth.

I wouldn't worry too much about the experience personally.  Sounds like he is very frustrated and taking it out on you.

It doesn't even really work that way in customer service. Just because I'm paying for a meal at a restaurant doesn't mean I get to smoke while I eat my food, take off my shirt, stay after closing time, or insist that they make me something off the menu.

?
Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Spring
Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter--and the Bird is on the Wing.

clean

Answer to question:
I am paid by the state of XX.  The state employs me to implement and enforce the standards set by the department.  You earn your grades, at the end of the term I report them to the registrar.  If you are unhappy with the standards set by the department, please make an appointment with Department Chair YY who will be glad to hear your comments. 
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader

Hibush

Quote from: clean on January 27, 2020, 03:14:55 PM
Answer to question:
I am paid by the state of XX.  The state employs me to implement and enforce the standards set by the department.  You earn your grades, at the end of the term I report them to the registrar.  If you are unhappy with the standards set by the department, please make an appointment with Department Chair YY who will be glad to hear your comments.

A lot of these approaches are good to test here before trying on actual students.

I think I prefer the ones that don't start with the student's framing of the situation. Wahoo and Myword's examples do the best job so far of reframing the situation in reality, in a way that maintains authority but also allows continued engagement.

Cheerful

There are many troubled students.   I've had my share.  For many reasons, including your own safety, I wouldn't "take students on" or get into confrontations.  Limit interactions and keep emails succinct in such cases.

For outbursts like "I pay your salary!" or "That's not fair!" say simply and briefly "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I have to maintain university standards."

Yes, spend minimum time.

Your posts often express outrage at things that are wrong or weird.  There's lots of wrong and weird in colleges and universities.  Accept and move on with your life.

hamburger

Some foreign students told me that they took the prerequisite course last summer and they forgot everything. Moreover, they have to work in the day time so they are too tired and busy to do the homework or review what they learned. One told me that this is his 3rd time to take the same course and the other told me that this is his 4th time! They use the school to get a visa and find a job. The school uses them to earn more money. We professors suffer being the middle person.

the_geneticist

Quote from: hamburger on January 28, 2020, 08:47:28 AM
Some foreign students told me that they took the prerequisite course last summer and they forgot everything. Moreover, they have to work in the day time so they are too tired and busy to do the homework or review what they learned. One told me that this is his 3rd time to take the same course and the other told me that this is his 4th time! They use the school to get a visa and find a job. The school uses them to earn more money. We professors suffer being the middle person.

Well, that's their choice then.  The students are happy to enroll in a few classes to keep their visas, the school is happy to take their money.
If the students are "too tired" and "too busy" for the homework, then that's on them.  They could take a different class at a different time. 
Repeaters should know by now exactly what they've signed up for.  You shouldn't be upset if they are taking the class again.
Don't take these things so personally.  Just make the expectations clear and consistent and record the consequences of their choices.

bopper

"My job as a Professor is to guide you in learning all about <topic>. I provide lectures and office hours to help you do that. The college provides tutors as well. When I evaluate your work, the grade that you earn is a sign to future employers or professors how much you have mastered that material. All the professors are consistent in that so that those future employers trust us...that someone with an A in English knows how to write well, but those who get an F do not or chose not to do the work to prove it."

Mobius

We all have had problem students at one time or another, or will. If students challenge, they can appeal using the process outlined by the institution. If they become disruptive, I'll defuse the situation, or might even end class early. I would then get the chair and student affairs involved to make sure the student will be banned from class or has to meet with someone higher than me regarding their behavior.

I've never had to take it to a dean, but I have met with students privately and tell them I don't care what they think of me, but they won't disrupt my class again.

polly_mer

Quote from: hamburger on January 26, 2020, 01:35:59 PM
So spend the minimum amount of time on these students and don't think of them outside class. Don't even check the school emails outside the working hours and don't waste time to report them to administrator. Focus on looking for the next job outside this CC as suggested in the past.

Yes.

I sometimes make signs for myself that I post in a personal space at home to remind myself why I'm spending extra time and energy to get a new job.

Possible examples:

   New job == No more students at <CC>

   Network today for a student-free future!

   What am I doing today that will get me a new job elsewhere?

   Study hard at boot camp and schmooze because my new job depends on it.

   Suck it up and kiss all the ass presented to get the new job.


Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!