Favorite student emails

[kaysixteen]

Remember the 5 P's: 'proper preparation prevents poor performances.'

I love Jock Talk.

[ciao_yall]

Remember the 5 P's: 'proper preparation prevents poor performances.'

I love Jock Talk.

I learned it as the 7 P's.

proper proactive preparation prevents piss-poor performances.'

[Anon1787]

From student:

"I recently started a new job and they scheduled me to work on [day/time of exam and Stu requests an alternate day/time]...I really want to start this job off on the right foot."

Why is starting a new job on the right foot important, but not this class?

[downer]

From student:

"I recently started a new job and they scheduled me to work on [day/time of exam and Stu requests an alternate day/time]...I really want to start this job off on the right foot."

Why is starting a new job on the right foot important, but not this class?

Because the student needs an income? They just need to pass your class.

[Langue_doc]

The following would be appropriate for more than one thread.

An assignment was due by midnight on Friday. Students had two weeks to complete the assignment.
Student 1 emails the document as an attachment at 12:25 AM on Saturday, apologizing profusely, acknowledging awareness of course policies, but requesting that I send the document to Student's partners so that they can peer-review the assignment. This, despite repeated announcements to refer to the syllabus that clearly states that emailed assignments won't be opened or graded, and that assignments can only be uploaded by the student. Student has a tendency to procrastinate--stu's first assignment was a blank document.

Student 2 emails me at 8:32 PM, alerting me to a power outage in hu's residence. In the second email at 11:35 PM, Student  wants "a tiny extension", because hu wants the assignment to be "right this time" as the previous assignment was "poorly done". In the third email, sent at 12:10 AM, Student writes "I'm sorry to keep messaging you, but I finished it in time but it wouldn't let me upload the essay." According to Canvas, Student tried to upload the essay at 12.11 AM.

There are many things I want to say to these students, but don't know where to begin.

[spork]

The following would be appropriate for more than one thread.

An assignment was due by midnight on Friday. Students had two weeks to complete the assignment.
Student 1 emails the document as an attachment at 12:25 AM on Saturday, apologizing profusely, acknowledging awareness of course policies, but requesting that I send the document to Student's partners so that they can peer-review the assignment. This, despite repeated announcements to refer to the syllabus that clearly states that emailed assignments won't be opened or graded, and that assignments can only be uploaded by the student. Student has a tendency to procrastinate--stu's first assignment was a blank document.

Student 2 emails me at 8:32 PM, alerting me to a power outage in hu's residence. In the second email at 11:35 PM, Student  wants "a tiny extension", because hu wants the assignment to be "right this time" as the previous assignment was "poorly done". In the third email, sent at 12:10 AM, Student writes "I'm sorry to keep messaging you, but I finished it in time but it wouldn't let me upload the essay." According to Canvas, Student tried to upload the essay at 12.11 AM.

There are many things I want to say to these students, but don't know where to begin.

Sometimes I reply by emailing screen shots from Canvas that document their lies.

[Anon1787]

Because the student needs an income? They just need to pass your class.

It is up to the student to decide which things to prioritize; just don't get off on the wrong foot with me by expecting me to change my course policy to accommodate their different priorities.

[Aster]

Because the student needs an income? They just need to pass your class.

It is up to the student to decide which things to prioritize; just don't get off on the wrong foot with me by expecting me to change my course policy to accommodate their different priorities.

As I sometimes advise to students who are working too much, research has shown that you'll probably do better by taking out college loans than by trying to work your way through college.

[the_geneticist]

Because the student needs an income? They just need to pass your class.

It is up to the student to decide which things to prioritize; just don't get off on the wrong foot with me by expecting me to change my course policy to accommodate their different priorities.

As I sometimes advise to students who are working too much, research has shown that you'll probably do better by taking out college loans than by trying to work your way through college.

Many of my students have maxed out their student loans and other financial assistance.
Some are the ONLY source of income for their household (e.g. parents are unemployed and not eligible for unemployment).
I have students that have to decide whether they get to eat that day or put enough gas in the car to not risk running out.

I'd give them an alternate exam time.  At least they asked in advance.

[Aster]

Because the student needs an income? They just need to pass your class.

It is up to the student to decide which things to prioritize; just don't get off on the wrong foot with me by expecting me to change my course policy to accommodate their different priorities.

As I sometimes advise to students who are working too much, research has shown that you'll probably do better by taking out college loans than by trying to work your way through college.

Many of my students have maxed out their student loans and other financial assistance.
Some are the ONLY source of income for their household (e.g. parents are unemployed and not eligible for unemployment).
I have students that have to decide whether they get to eat that day or put enough gas in the car to not risk running out.

Yeah, that sucks. Many of us see these situations all the time now. The U.S. Higher Education system is certainly not what it used to be in terms of per-student funding support. And I've had to have quite a few painful advising sessions with students over the years explaining what the requirements are for successfully completing college. Sometimes hard choices have to be made with one's time commitments.

[the_geneticist]

Got this one late on Friday:

Hello!

I'm in lab section [123] for [Basketweaving 101] and I was just wondering if there was any way to gain points back from the lab by fixing the things I lost points on?

Thank you,
Hopeful Student

Who wants to guess their current grade?

[Aster]

Got this one late on Friday:

Hello!

I'm in lab section [123] for [Basketweaving 101] and I was just wondering if there was any way to gain points back from the lab by fixing the things I lost points on?

Thank you,
Hopeful Student

Who wants to guess their current grade?

Ha, I don't need to guess, I have enough "background research" to make a prediction.

F. Big Fat F.

[the_geneticist]

Got this one late on Friday:

Hello!

I'm in lab section [123] for [Basketweaving 101] and I was just wondering if there was any way to gain points back from the lab by fixing the things I lost points on?

Thank you,
Hopeful Student

Who wants to guess their current grade?

Ha, I don't need to guess, I have enough "background research" to make a prediction.

F. Big Fat F.

Actually they have an A.  As in, they have missed 1.5 of the possible 100+ points

[Aster]

Got this one late on Friday:

Hello!

I'm in lab section [123] for [Basketweaving 101] and I was just wondering if there was any way to gain points back from the lab by fixing the things I lost points on?

Thank you,
Hopeful Student

Who wants to guess their current grade?

Ha, I don't need to guess, I have enough "background research" to make a prediction.

F. Big Fat F.

Actually they have an A.  As in, they have missed 1.5 of the possible 100+ points

Wow. I haven't had this particular scenario occur since at least 2016. I don't feel bad that my prediction has been demolished.

[Anon1787]

Many of my students have maxed out their student loans and other financial assistance.
Some are the ONLY source of income for their household (e.g. parents are unemployed and not eligible for unemployment).
I have students that have to decide whether they get to eat that day or put enough gas in the car to not risk running out.

I'd give them an alternate exam time.  At least they asked in advance.

That would open up a can of worms since work schedule would be a common reason cited for special accommodation if it were to become general course policy (which it should be as a matter of fairness to all students). If work is their overriding priority it is probably best to withdraw from the course.