Favorite student emails

[mythbuster]

Did he property use said Oxford Comma in his email?

[apl68]

At my school, students who are are found guilty of academic misconduct by the Dean's Office  are not allowed to drop the class in which the misconduct occurred. A student whose only day of attendance was Aug 24 cheated blatantly on the take-home midterm. He was found guilty by the Dean, who told him not to drop my class. I always assumed that meant a hold on the account, but the student dropped the course anyway. The Dean's Office was alerted, and the Registrar's Office reenrolled the student.

Today's email: a frantic and melodramatic plea to let the student pass anyway. He claims that he's a 5-year senior graduating in December, with a marketing job lined up for January. He admits to the misconduct, and knows that he has a literal zero in the course. But he claims that he will write a final essay (due next Friday) that will "put all other essays to shame" and provide answers on the exam that are "so insightful and brilliant that they will bring you to tears." He contends that perfect scores on those two assignments should allow him to pass the course, even though his final grade will only be a 45%. He also says that if I deny him this opportunity, he promises not to take out his anger, and his parents' disappointment, and his future employer's lost productivity out on me. Finally he says, "and I believe in the Oxford comma."

This one is going in my HOF file.

If this does indeed cost him a marketing job, then I'd say that his potential employers, their customers, and their customers' customers are all fortunate.

[Langue_doc]

Today's email: a frantic and melodramatic plea to let the student pass anyway. He claims that he's a 5-year senior graduating in December, with a marketing job lined up for January. He admits to the misconduct, and knows that he has a literal zero in the course. But he claims that he will write a final essay (due next Friday) that will "put all other essays to shame" and provide answers on the exam that are "so insightful and brilliant that they will bring you to tears."

This one is going in my HOF file.

How much is he paying for this masterpiece of an essay?

[kaysixteen]

Following up on the lack of training for such social etiquette concerns that is sadly normative in many sh*itty k12 schools (but pretty normative in prep schools and high end suburban public hss), how should college kids be given this training, and how should schools/ academic depts go about verifying that their students have gotten the training/ gotten the message?   Coming from someone who went to uberelite slac *in the 80s*, we got absolutely nothing like this then (though the kids from the, ahem, elite hs background-- who often were multigenerational elite families-- already knew this stuff), AND it was almost certain that most of the professors I knew there then would never have been able to give it to me, had I known to ask for it.   

Has this changed?   And how do we take into consideration the variations between fields/ professions, in terms of expectations for this sort of thing, which as has been alluded to here, can be very stark-- many kids are told to, ahem, be a 'pest', keep on sending those follow-up emails, etc., and it has always been my understanding that in some business-related areas, this is indeed viewed as 'initiative' worthy of respect and action on the part of the recipient thereof.   Of course, it is also true that, back in the 80s, rejection letters were still pretty normative, though this was beginning to wane then (I recall the very British, 60-ish president of the school, on learning that many of the prep schools I had interviewed at had not bothered to send reject letters, saying that that was 'just plain lazy').

[RatGuy]

Did he property use said Oxford Comma in his email?

Yeah, though maybe not parenthetical asides.

Though I'd like to keep this as professional as possible, I DESPERATELY need you to consider the above. I am a good human, loving son, a quality friend, and a terrible student. (And a believer in the utilization of the oxford comma)

[mamselle]

Harvard comma.

M.

[FishProf]

With registration beginning Monday, I am now sitting on a plethora of emails from students advocating for online labs.  These are mostly students in majors that will not accept online labs.  They aren't even in my department as these are service courses.

I want to reply "The course will be offered as advertised.  Take it, or dont.  Your choice".

Grrr.

[EdnaMode]

Hi Dr. Mode,

Are you doing any demos I'll miss out on in lab today?

Stu

>>>>>>>>>>

Stu,

There are no lab demos today. However, there is an exam. And you need to be here to take it.

Dr. Mode

>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Mode,

If I don't come to lab, can I make up the exam?

Stu

>>>>>>>>

Stu,

No. The exam is today, that info has been on the LMS for weeks, and it's also in the syllabus that there is an exam in Week 13.

Hope to see you later,

Dr. Mode

>>>>>>>>

Wonder if he'll show up? He's not currently passing, but not so far behind that he couldn't pass if he put in a wee bit of effort.

[EdnaMode]

Stu, mentioned in the previous post, came to lab and took his exam. It'll be interesting to see whether he passed it or not.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Stu, mentioned in the previous post, came to lab and took his exam. It'll be interesting to see whether he passed it or not.

Fingers crossed?

[EdnaMode]

Stu, mentioned in the previous post, came to lab and took his exam. It'll be interesting to see whether he passed it or not.

Fingers crossed?

I'll grade the exams over the weekend, so we'll see. We have two weeks of remote class after Thanksgiving week, then a final exam to go. If he doesn't pass this semester, he can take the class again next semester with a colleague. He's not malicious or a grade grubber, just a bit clueless.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Stu, mentioned in the previous post, came to lab and took his exam. It'll be interesting to see whether he passed it or not.

Fingers crossed?

I'll grade the exams over the weekend, so we'll see. We have two weeks of remote class after Thanksgiving week, then a final exam to go. If he doesn't pass this semester, he can take the class again next semester with a colleague. He's not malicious or a grade grubber, just a bit clueless.

Well, that's something. :)

[the_geneticist]

We only have two more week of class to go.  Got this one today, not sure if it's a "favorite email" or more of a head bang of despair:

Hi Dr. [Geneticist],
Im in [TAs]  sectuon. I noticed that all my lab quizzes are zeros, I'm not sure how this happened, does it just say I didn't do those quizzes? I was having severe technical difficulties and other issues in the first weeks of school. I only saw this because I missed lab this week because of work, and went to check if I could make it up. If there's any way I can make any of them up I would appreciate it, if not I understand and will continue to do what I can.

Best Regards,
Hasn't Checked Grades all Quarter

This is a student who was excused from the first week due to internet issues, but since then earned a 0 on the first major assignment, and scored 30% on the midterm.  Ironically, they don't have a 0 for ALL of their quizzes, just 3 of them.

Yes, a 0 in the grade book means you didn't do the quiz and earned that 0.  I told them to talk with their advisor.  It's not mathematically possible to pass.

[marshwiggle]

We only have two more week of class to go.  Got this one today, not sure if it's a "favorite email" or more of a head bang of despair:

Hi Dr. [Geneticist],
Im in [TAs]  sectuon. I noticed that all my lab quizzes are zeros, I'm not sure how this happened, does it just say I didn't do those quizzes? I was having severe technical difficulties and other issues in the first weeks of school. I only saw this because I missed lab this week because of work, and went to check if I could make it up. If there's any way I can make any of them up I would appreciate it, if not I understand and will continue to do what I can.

Best Regards,
Hasn't Checked Grades all Quarter

I find it odd that "0" may "just say I didn't do those quizzes". Is there some universe where not doing stuff counts differently than doing horribly badly on it?

[the_geneticist]

We only have two more week of class to go.  Got this one today, not sure if it's a "favorite email" or more of a head bang of despair:

Hi Dr. [Geneticist],
Im in [TAs]  sectuon. I noticed that all my lab quizzes are zeros, I'm not sure how this happened, does it just say I didn't do those quizzes? I was having severe technical difficulties and other issues in the first weeks of school. I only saw this because I missed lab this week because of work, and went to check if I could make it up. If there's any way I can make any of them up I would appreciate it, if not I understand and will continue to do what I can.

Best Regards,
Hasn't Checked Grades all Quarter

I find it odd that "0" may "just say I didn't do those quizzes". Is there some universe where not doing stuff counts differently than doing horribly badly on it?

Some students seem to think so.
"But I can't fail if I didn't get the chance to do it!".
Maybe they think I have a slightly evil grading scheme where doing really badly could earn a score of less than zero?