Favorite student emails

[the_geneticist]

For Spring 2021, classes that are designated "HYFLEX" are required to have some sort of in-person component. Instructors who were concerned about COVID were allowed to teach classes designated "AVSync," meaning synchronous online. The Provost's Office sent out an email reminding faculty of the in-person requirement.

Now grad students are using the departmental listservs to voice displeasure....in a most unprofessional manner as possible. The emails will likely be my "favorite" of this term. Luckily I'm not part of the graduate faculty, so I don't have to deal with these students specifically.

Well, if you are on quarters (which I'm assuming otherwise your Spring 2021 would have already started), it's not really fair to hold someone to a reply they gave back in November about what they would prefer for teaching in April.
My state is doing way worse now that it was in November - more cases, more deaths, etc.
Or the TAs might be rightfully concerned about the safety of their classmates & friends, even if they aren't personally expected to teach in Spring.

[smallcleanrat]

That was my thought as well.  It did occur to me that in a different context the quote could be understood as discouraging effort or urging a destructive perfectionism.  But a student doesn't "try" to attend class--one either makes it or doesn't.  Maybe circumstances make it impossible now and then, but a student who keeps missing either isn't honestly trying or has conflicts that make withdrawing from the class advisable.  If it's a traditional-age student without a lot of family responsibilities, I'd be inclined to suspect the former.

Or if you invite someone to an event and they say, "I'll try to make it" then it implies that it is not a priority for them to actually make it.

I think of this as having two components.

One component is the outcome: e.g. student shows up for class.

The other component is the approach to achieving the outcome: e.g. student goes to bed at a reasonable hour so he can wake up on time to make it to class.

So, I don't equate "I'll try" with "I won't."

For example, someone can "try to make it" to an event by attempting to reschedule a conflicting obligation but their requests to move that date or get someone to cover for them may be rejected. The fact that they didn't make it doesn't necessarily imply they didn't put in an effort or that they didn't consider it important.

Sometimes they are limited in how much they can control.

Sometimes they make poor choices as to approach.

And, sure, sometimes people just use the phrase as a way to blow you off.

[dr_codex]

Hey Good afternoon professor, can you send me a rubric for the essay we have to write on the article due sunday???

That's an oddly specific question. Particularly for somebody who the CMS indicates hasn't read the assignment instructions, where such information can be found.

I wonder if somebody's ghost writer tutor asked about it.

[AvidReader]

"Trying" student came to class today! Success!

Other confused student spent two hours over the weekend struggling to find the assignment directions on our CMS. We had  a series of emails back and forth. The directions were the top item in the tab marked "Essay 1." Fortunately, I could see the log and see where student clicked each time ("Student, you are looking in the tab labeled 'Midterm.' Click on the tab labeled "Essay 1.")

At the end of our exchange, student asked in the last email  if student could talk to me after class today because student was "so confused" about the class. Of course! I have office hours after literally every class (and at many other times).

Confused student did not come to class today. Confused student is not here for office hours. Confused student has not been back on the CMS since finding the assignment directions, though the other resources posted there would make this essay substantially easier to write (as would attending class).

AR.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

A student emails me thinking that uploading files will automatically turn them all into one file. No, that's not how the system works.

[dr_codex]

This one was forwarded to a bunch of us by our Academic Dean:

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

I'd love to know what Stu thought we were all doing, behind Stu's back. Or what made Stu finally twig that perhaps all of the faculty, administration, and staff were not the problem. Activate your email!

Perhaps Stu hasn't yet logged on to their online course? Or not turned on their notifications? Or waiting for their professor to add them to their Facebook account?

I'm getting ready to send an announcement to the effect that the modules are in fact the equivalent of class lectures and that students are expected to *read* the modules. All the so-called missing links and readings *are* in the modules! I suspect several of the students are using their phones instead of their computers and are just scrolling through the information without really reading anything.

Much more fundamental. New-Stu never set up a college email account. Virtually everything is linked to that, including CMS authentication.

Also, Stu never answered emails sent to a private account, nor phone calls from the Registrar.

Stu is a very, very good ghost.

But wait! There's more...

I apologize for not connecting with you i have been having email issues that have finally been resolved i have been trying to enter your zoom call but for some reason i cant can you please resend me the link i do not attend to withdraw or fail the class and wish to get in contact with you on ways i can catch up on the work i missed i logged in to blackboard and was wondering if it was too late to turn in any of the assignments that are posted or anything else i can do.

We are now in week 5. The Zoom link is plastered all over Blackboard. Not a good sign.

Also, the creative ee cummings-esque deigning to punctuate or capitalize. For a Comp II class. It's rather majestic, in its own way, but not a good sign.

Fingers crossed that the Registrar is going to field this one.

[bacardiandlime]

Students trying to pull "bad wifi" or "computer problems"  as an excuse for zoom attendance get a cheery message from me about how they can just dial in! From any phone! Isn't it great? Even from their Aunts house in Tibet with no wifi where they said they were stuck. See you in class!

[Langue_doc]

This one was forwarded to a bunch of us by our Academic Dean:

I dont know if the problem is on my end but its been a full week of classes but none of the professors have contacted me for anything like a zoom call or other method of communication i dont know if im missing classes or not and i wish not to fall to far behind i wont be able to go to campus tomorrow because i am still waiting on my covid results if there is anyway you can help me please let me know

I'd love to know what Stu thought we were all doing, behind Stu's back. Or what made Stu finally twig that perhaps all of the faculty, administration, and staff were not the problem. Activate your email!

Perhaps Stu hasn't yet logged on to their online course? Or not turned on their notifications? Or waiting for their professor to add them to their Facebook account?

I'm getting ready to send an announcement to the effect that the modules are in fact the equivalent of class lectures and that students are expected to *read* the modules. All the so-called missing links and readings *are* in the modules! I suspect several of the students are using their phones instead of their computers and are just scrolling through the information without really reading anything.

Much more fundamental. New-Stu never set up a college email account. Virtually everything is linked to that, including CMS authentication.

Also, Stu never answered emails sent to a private account, nor phone calls from the Registrar.

Stu is a very, very good ghost.

But wait! There's more...

I apologize for not connecting with you i have been having email issues that have finally been resolved i have been trying to enter your zoom call but for some reason i cant can you please resend me the link i do not attend to withdraw or fail the class and wish to get in contact with you on ways i can catch up on the work i missed i logged in to blackboard and was wondering if it was too late to turn in any of the assignments that are posted or anything else i can do.

We are now in week 5. The Zoom link is plastered all over Blackboard. Not a good sign.

Also, the creative ee cummings-esque deigning to punctuate or capitalize. For a Comp II class. It's rather majestic, in its own way, but not a good sign.

Fingers crossed that the Registrar is going to field this one.

If Stu is still confused about locating the Zoom link, how on earth is Stu going to read the course materials or upload assignments? Follow the formatting requirements for Comp assignments?   

[OneMoreYear]

Certainly not as hopeless as Dr. Codex's student below, but I received an email from a student who is struggling with an assignment, is sure they are going to fail, and asks "what, if anything, can I do about this?"

Well, let's see, you could email me your questions, attend my multiple student hours this week, request a meeting outside of my student hours, contact one of the TAs for this course, look at the multitude of resources I have uploaded to the LMS that I can see you haven't accessed . . . or you could just fail right now.

I was polite and helpful in my response as I know it's a stressful time, but sheesh, attempt some problem solving!

[cathwen]

Dr.-Codex, you seem to have inherited my Mr. Clueless from last semester who (1) had alleged email problems; (2) couldn't figure out how to log into the university's system; (3) when he did, he looked for the course in Blackboard, whereas I use Canvas (our university is transitioning)—as I told him in my email about how to log on.  After several emails, reports to his adviser, and finally a recommendation that he withdraw, he refused to do so, and predictably failed.

Have fun with this one!

[AvidReader]

Today a student who has never attended class emailed at 8:40 wanting to make up all the missed work and join class via Zoom (an option I do offer as needed if students let me know that they are unwell, quarantining, or otherwise unable to make it in person).

Student emailed again at 8:45, 8:55, and several times in the 9:00 hour, growing increasingly frustrated with my failure to respond.

Our class meets from 8:00 to 9:25. I do not check my email during class. Do other teachers check email while teaching? It seems to me that that would be very inconvenient for all the students who do come to class.

AR.

[dr_codex]

Dr.-Codex, you seem to have inherited my Mr. Clueless from last semester who (1) had alleged email problems; (2) couldn't figure out how to log into the university's system; (3) when he did, he looked for the course in Blackboard, whereas I use Canvas (our university is transitioning)—as I told him in my email about how to log on.  After several emails, reports to his adviser, and finally a recommendation that he withdraw, he refused to do so, and predictably failed.

Have fun with this one!

Thanks?

We refund a substantial portion of tuition to students who are flagged as "never attending". If Stu were wise, Stu would request this.

[marshwiggle]

Today a student who has never attended class emailed at 8:40 wanting to make up all the missed work and join class via Zoom (an option I do offer as needed if students let me know that they are unwell, quarantining, or otherwise unable to make it in person).

Student emailed again at 8:45, 8:55, and several times in the 9:00 hour, growing increasingly frustrated with my failure to respond.

Our class meets from 8:00 to 9:25. I do not check my email during class. Do other teachers check email while teaching? It seems to me that that would be very inconvenient for all the students who do come to class.

AR.

I'd guess that for a lot of young people that live on their phones, they can't conceive of anyone not looking at their device for 15 minutes, let alone a couple of hours.

[the_geneticist]

Today a student who has never attended class emailed at 8:40 wanting to make up all the missed work and join class via Zoom (an option I do offer as needed if students let me know that they are unwell, quarantining, or otherwise unable to make it in person).

Student emailed again at 8:45, 8:55, and several times in the 9:00 hour, growing increasingly frustrated with my failure to respond.

Our class meets from 8:00 to 9:25. I do not check my email during class. Do other teachers check email while teaching? It seems to me that that would be very inconvenient for all the students who do come to class.

AR.

I'd guess that for a lot of young people that live on their phones, they can't conceive of anyone not looking at their device for 15 minutes, let alone a couple of hours.

I know I don't check mine. 
Why didn't the student just click the Zoom link to join the class?

[EdnaMode]

Today a student who has never attended class emailed at 8:40 wanting to make up all the missed work and join class via Zoom (an option I do offer as needed if students let me know that they are unwell, quarantining, or otherwise unable to make it in person).

Student emailed again at 8:45, 8:55, and several times in the 9:00 hour, growing increasingly frustrated with my failure to respond.

Our class meets from 8:00 to 9:25. I do not check my email during class. Do other teachers check email while teaching? It seems to me that that would be very inconvenient for all the students who do come to class.

AR.

I don't when I'm lecturing, even when I'm Zoom lecturing in my office. I do sometimes when I'm in lab, if the students are working away with no questions and I have nothing to do but sit and stare at them, I will sit at the instructor's station and check my email. But I do tell students that if they email me when I'm in class, or way outside of normal working hours (say at 4 AM) then not to expect a quick response. It's on my syllabus that I will reply within 24 hours, except on the weekends.