Favorite student emails

[FishProf]

I think the point in apl68's answer was the spoof on the mispelled?/neologism:

"nativage"

;--》

M.

Ah I see.  Then i will need a nativaging tutorial myself.  Helop!

[apl68]

Thank you for the helop in getting my point across, mamselle.

[mamselle]

Always glad to obilge.

M.

[Langue_doc]

ETA: Stu upthread who emailed me "And when do we have to get the textbook by ?" earned 0 in an assignment because Stu didn't submit the same. Stu now emails me within minutes of that assignment being graded: "Hi, you gave me a 0 on of the assignments. Can you tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it?" Stu, read the syllabus and the module. Read the directions for that assignment. See my comment to the effect that the assignment was not submitted. Please review capitalization conventions as lower case first-person singular pronouns are an abomination!

The above was at 1:39 PM. Email at 4:35 PM: "Hello , you gave me a 0 on of the assignments and I completed the assignments. Can you tell me what i did wrong please ?"
Email at 4:40 PM: "Hi , i wasn't aware of the second assignment that's as due Sunday . I've been so busy with my other assignments. Can you unlock it so i can complete? So sorry for the mistake"

My syllabus notes that I respond to emails M-F, 9-5, within 24 hours, so I'm going to wait until tomorrow morning to respond to the "My other courses are more important than the one you're teaching" whine. It's going to be a looooong semester.

[arcturus]

My favorite (email) from today: Can you please send me your email address? I couldn't find it in the course web site and I want to ask some questions.

First, you have sent me an email before (and now) using the LMS communications tool. We have stated on the syllabus and on the course website that all communication regarding this class is to be through the LMS communications tool. So, no, I will not send you my email address. You already have it!

[marshwiggle]

My favorite (email) from today: Can you please send me your email address? I couldn't find it in the course web site and I want to ask some questions.

First, you have sent me an email before (and now) using the LMS communications tool. We have stated on the syllabus and on the course website that all communication regarding this class is to be through the LMS communications tool. So, no, I will not send you my email address. You already have it!

Dear Stu,

Save this email. When you need to email me, open this email and hit "Reply".

Dr Arcturus

[research_prof]

Just got an email from one of the students in my class. The student said he simply forgot to attend the lecture... first time I have heard of such a "confession".

[the_geneticist]

Got this one LATE last night:

Dear Mrs. [not my name],

My name is [frantic 5th year], I'm currently a 5th year senior desperately trying to graduate as soon as possible. I'm writing to ask for a seat in your [freshmen basketweaving] lab as I only need the lab credits. If you could allow me to attend your lab that would be greatly appreciated and really go a long way in helping me graduate within 2 quarters, I desperately need to take this course this quarter. I've had a really rough few years but I've set this goal to graduate and I really need this seat, it would mean a lot to me to get your approval. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Frantic 5th Year

There are open seats!  Just register*.  Seriously.  You don't need my permission.
Also, if you're a 5th year, you should have registered for this class BACK IN JUNE.

*assuming you have passed the prerequisites.  No, they cannot be waived.  Don't bother to ask.

[Langue_doc]

Stu complaining about having to rush to complete assignments now wants extra time on all assignments:

" i cannot complete everything to the best of my ability with the current time constraints. could i please have extra time on assignments? thank you for understanding."

[the_geneticist]

Stu complaining about having to rush to complete assignments now wants extra time on all assignments:

" i cannot complete everything to the best of my ability with the current time constraints. could i please have extra time on assignments? thank you for understanding."

Ugh.  Can we tell students that we DON'T expect their best efforts on everything?  Sometimes "good enough is good enough".  There are so many high stress students that would be "mortified" to earn an 8/10 on a quiz and end up with 0/10 since they just don't turn it in.

[downer]

I might well reply that the only students who get extra time on tests are those certified as having a disability.

[Langue_doc]

Stu complaining about having to rush to complete assignments now wants extra time on all assignments:

" i cannot complete everything to the best of my ability with the current time constraints. could i please have extra time on assignments? thank you for understanding."

Ugh.  Can we tell students that we DON'T expect their best efforts on everything?  Sometimes "good enough is good enough".  There are so many high stress students that would be "mortified" to earn an 8/10 on a quiz and end up with 0/10 since they just don't turn it in.

Stu waited until Thursday or Friday to complete assignments that were available early morning on Monday. The first of Stu's two emails was sent just before 5 PM on Friday and the second a few minutes after 5.

Downer, Stu does get extra time for timed tests and exams, but not for assignments that are open for an entire week.

[downer]

Downer, Stu does get extra time for timed tests and exams, but not for assignments that are open for an entire week.

Then it is something for the student to negotiate with your disability services office, not you.

[the_geneticist]

Downer, Stu does get extra time for timed tests and exams, but not for assignments that are open for an entire week.

Then it is something for the student to negotiate with your disability services office, not you.

Pretty sure any student that asks for "more time" on an untimed assignment that has been available for 5 days would be told "NO".  Might be better to direct them to a time management or study skills class.  You know, the whole "the due date is not the day you do it".

[secundem_artem]

10% of the class has some kind of disability accommodation - typically more time on exams, quiet testing place etc.

For some people, real life is going to be a serious kick in the balls.