Favorite student emails

[downer]

I don't think I have access to have information about who my students academic advisors are.

Occasionally I tell students with personal issues that they have not documented that I will accept their late work if they get their academic advisor to write to me vouching for them. It almost never happens.

[Wahoo Redux]

I don't think I have access to have information about who my students academic advisors are.

Occasionally I tell students with personal issues that they have not documented that I will accept their late work if they get their academic advisor to write to me vouching for them. It almost never happens.

Exactly this scenario.  The student wanted very badly to explain hu's personal circumstances, claimed COVID, and I explained that hu need not fill me in on hu's life story (most likely a breakup, I'm betting) just a letter from an advisor or the Dean of Students office, even a note from the doctor, so I could legitimately give an extension...which never appeared despite my reminders that hu could not pass the class without something.  So no favorite emails.  No letters from the Dean.  Bunko.

I'm betting I get a favorite student email after I turn in grades at the end of the week, however.

[FishProf]

Student who could have passed the course if they had submitted a poster that consisted of more than 3 pictures and an equation.  And, given that he was suspended at the time, he had plenty of free time to do this.  Also, missing 2/3 of the quizzes and 3/4 of the reading quizzes did not help.

"Fishprof,
I'm sorry, if I have failed you or offended you. I seek forgiveness.
Hopeless"

"Fishprof
I have an E? Do I pass your class? Do I not deserve to pass? Please let me pass? I beg of you. I will do anything you ask, sir.
Increasingly Hopeless"

The second one was in response to the class-wide email informing them grades were posted and extending the deadline for a few outstanding items (I am probably gonna regret doing that)

[teach_write_research]

I messaged a student in the LMS to ask which of the final project prompts they were answering. Their work was very jumbled and didn't really answer any of the prompts directly. Their reply back was that they answered a little bit of all of the prompts. They then followed that with several messages giving me a copy-paste repeat of their unclear answer. Well, I suppose a further demonstration of unclear written communication gives me clarity in a roundabout way?

[the_geneticist]

Student who could have passed the course if they had submitted a poster that consisted of more than 3 pictures and an equation.  And, given that he was suspended at the time, he had plenty of free time to do this.  Also, missing 2/3 of the quizzes and 3/4 of the reading quizzes did not help.

"Fishprof,
I'm sorry, if I have failed you or offended you. I seek forgiveness.
Hopeless"

"Fishprof
I have an E? Do I pass your class? Do I not deserve to pass? Please let me pass? I beg of you. I will do anything you ask, sir.
Increasingly Hopeless"

The second one was in response to the class-wide email informing them grades were posted and extending the deadline for a few outstanding items (I am probably gonna regret doing that)

Time for a "grades are earned based on [X criteria].  See the syllabus for the exact point distribution and letter grade cut-offs" email. 

[Parasaurolophus]

I just got an email begging for 1.5% more to pass the course. Because effort.

I pointed out that the student's effort had to have been quite minimal, since they didn't submit 3/8 assignments and failed despite me already giving everyone 10% in the form of free participation marks.

But I was sorely tempted to accede to the demand. Then they would have learned that 1.5% still left them 0.24% shy of a passing grade.

[FishProf]

I just got an email begging for 1.5% more to pass the course. Because effort.

I pointed out that the student's effort had to have been quite minimal, since they didn't submit 3/8 assignments and failed despite me already giving everyone 10% in the form of free participation marks.

But I was sorely tempted to accede to the demand. Then they would have learned that 1.5% still left them 0.24% shy of a passig grade.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

[ricecloudnine]

I just got an email begging for 1.5% more to pass the course. Because effort.

I pointed out that the student's effort had to have been quite minimal, since they didn't submit 3/8 assignments and failed despite me already giving everyone 10% in the form of free participation marks.

But I was sorely tempted to accede to the demand. Then they would have learned that 1.5% still left them 0.24% shy of a passig grade.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

Of course that's when the second email comes asking you to round the grade up to the passing grade

[mahagonny]

I don't think I have access to have information about who my students academic advisors are.

Occasionally I tell students with personal issues that they have not documented that I will accept their late work if they get their academic advisor to write to me vouching for them. It almost never happens.

Right, well, you are an adjunct, correct? So there is pressure on the tenure track faculty to pretend your presence is a temporary situation. So why let you know who the students' advisors are? That would only feed the perception that you are a regular part of the school's functioning, which undercuts the tenure track's feigned campaign for using only 'regular' faculty.

[Langue_doc]

Time-stamped 12:12 AM:

I noticed you had uploaded our final grades. I thought I deserved at least
an A-. Would you mind explaining why my final grade ended in a B+? Thank
you.

Auto-reply was turned on at 10 PM last night, so I don't have to reply to grade-grubbing emails until early next month.

Stu, how about reading my comments on your assignments?

[Parasaurolophus]

I just got an email begging for 1.5% more to pass the course. Because effort.

I pointed out that the student's effort had to have been quite minimal, since they didn't submit 3/8 assignments and failed despite me already giving everyone 10% in the form of free participation marks.

But I was sorely tempted to accede to the demand. Then they would have learned that 1.5% still left them 0.24% shy of a passig grade.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

Of course that's when the second email comes asking you to round the grade up to the passing grade

Yeah, that's the worry.

[ergative]

Time-stamped 12:12 AM:

I noticed you had uploaded our final grades. I thought I deserved at least
an A-. Would you mind explaining why my final grade ended in a B+? Thank
you.

Auto-reply was turned on at 10 PM last night, so I don't have to reply to grade-grubbing emails until early next month.

Stu, how about reading my comments on your assignments?

I have a student who's like that. I leave extensive comments on his work, but it's usually a low B or a C, and he comes to my office hours to talk about it. Which is good, except I don't have anything to say to him that I haven't already written in the comments. Ah, well. that's what office hours are for, and he doesn't argue. He just wants to know what he can do better. But he could learn that by reading the final bit of my comments, which always say, 'In future assignments, try focusing on [X].'

[AmLitHist]

Dear Professor,
My name is ----, I am in English Composition II 102- ---. I am concerned about my grade a little bit, I have looked at the banner to check my grade report. I do not quite understand that am I passing your class? and with what grade?

It's a C.  Though I'm reconsidering that now.....

Out-of-office autoreply until January 18.

[reverist]

Received today for a class beginning next week:

"is it anyway possible to get the papers pages reduced? For example 4 instead of 8. This will help me so much I have already been worrying about them. Thank you."

I have been teaching for nearly ten years, and have never before received a request to do half the writing (for full credit, anyway!).

[apl68]

Received today for a class beginning next week:

"is it anyway possible to get the papers pages reduced? For example 4 instead of 8. This will help me so much I have already been worrying about them. Thank you."

I have been teaching for nearly ten years, and have never before received a request to do half the writing (for full credit, anyway!).

Does this student not know how to change font sizes and use creative spacing?  Stretching a paper to double its actual content length would be exceptional, but I've seen examples that come fairly close.