Ending Statements with "Don't you think?"

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I'd like to hear from Mamselle on this, but I suspect it is of longer standing, and comes from other languages. The French use "n'est-ce pas" and "d'accord" at the ends of sentences, and the Italians do too. Doesn't bother me at all.

It's not common to use 'n'est-ce pas' or 'd'accord' incessantly, though. Just like Canadians don't commonly add 'eh?' to every sentence, or even most sentences. But I think you're right: it sounds like they're just tag questions, and probably derived from tag question use in another language. No biggie.

It could be a regional thing, like 'Dontcha know?'

https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/07/14/10-minnesota-words-phrases-asg-visitors-should-know/

I suppose it also depends on context, inflection, intent... is there unspoken emotional context, etc.

[marshwiggle]

I'd like to hear from Mamselle on this, but I suspect it is of longer standing, and comes from other languages. The French use "n'est-ce pas" and "d'accord" at the ends of sentences, and the Italians do too. Doesn't bother me at all.

It's not common to use 'n'est-ce pas' or 'd'accord' incessantly, though. Just like Canadians don't commonly add 'eh?' to every sentence, or even most sentences. But I think you're right: it sounds like they're just tag questions, and probably derived from tag question use in another language. No biggie.

It could be a regional thing, like 'Dontcha know?'

https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/07/14/10-minnesota-words-phrases-asg-visitors-should-know/

I suppose it also depends on context, inflection, intent... is there unspoken emotional context, etc.

I'm not a linguist, but it were a regional pattern of speech wouldn't it likely use pretty consistent phrasing and sentence placement?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I'd like to hear from Mamselle on this, but I suspect it is of longer standing, and comes from other languages. The French use "n'est-ce pas" and "d'accord" at the ends of sentences, and the Italians do too. Doesn't bother me at all.

It's not common to use 'n'est-ce pas' or 'd'accord' incessantly, though. Just like Canadians don't commonly add 'eh?' to every sentence, or even most sentences. But I think you're right: it sounds like they're just tag questions, and probably derived from tag question use in another language. No biggie.

It could be a regional thing, like 'Dontcha know?'

https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/07/14/10-minnesota-words-phrases-asg-visitors-should-know/

I suppose it also depends on context, inflection, intent... is there unspoken emotional context, etc.

I'm not a linguist, but it were a regional pattern of speech wouldn't it likely use pretty consistent phrasing and sentence placement?

*Shrug*

Depends on the size of the region, or locale.

[mamselle]

One might try to construct a riposte out of the differential, "Don't you think?" (i.e., "don't you agree with me?) and "Don't you think?" (don't you ever apply brain cells to problems more generally?)

After three online classes today, that's as far as my creative juices will go, someone else might want to try for an actual <<bon mot>> to help the irritating user of the phrase come up with a different way to end their rants....

M.

[hmaria1609]

I had a board member of the Friends of the Library who said "Don't you think?" in such a way that I wanted to cringe, face palm, or put my head down on the reference desk.

[RatGuy]

When speaking -- and especially lecturing -- I say "right? So..." after most stages of thought. It's become almost a contraction (right-so). I've noticed my wife doing it as well, though I'm sure she picked it up from hearing me use it. I'm sure that there are some students who have turned it into a drinking game. It's my version of "but-um" I guess. So at least in my case, it doesn't carry any implications that the listener needs to agree with me or anything  -- it's just part of my speech patterns.

I can see how it'd be annoying regardless. A colleague ends most of her proclamations with a "no?" Departmental meetings are already tiresome, no?

[financeguy]

I've tried to think about why this is so annoying to me. There are two components. The first is just the pure repetition of it. Some things we say might be interesting once. The person who did junior year abroad might comment once about how a particular dish varied slightly in the country they visited. The person who begins every statement with "In Europe, they do..." is annoying not just due to the potential perceived judgement in the statement about their present environment, but just due to the monotony of how frequently the statement is employed.

The more important (and annoying aspect) is the implied neediness, which no one really likes. There isn't anyone who enjoys being on the receiving end of "Do I look fat in this?" or "Was it good for you?" People that constantly request validation in whatever form are just tiring. You usually struggle to have an interaction about anything other than that, which again leads to the repetition of the phrase. With this person it's not cultural. He's been in the U.S. his entire life and is not bilingual.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

The person could also be nervous, or have confidence issues and wants some kind of reassurance.

I'm not trying to say that it isn't annoying, just trying to find explanations.

[polly_mer]

Eh.  Just cut them off, unless there's a compelling reason for the interaction.

You don't have to keep every acquaintance you've ever had.

You don't have to have a good reason for not keeping up a particular interaction.

If this isn't an actual member of your household (e.g., spouse, kid, elderly parent) or direct report at work, you really can just decline invitations and let the relationship end.

This is not a graded activity.

[Caracal]

I've tried to think about why this is so annoying to me. There are two components. The first is just the pure repetition of it. Some things we say might be interesting once. The person who did junior year abroad might comment once about how a particular dish varied slightly in the country they visited. The person who begins every statement with "In Europe, they do..." is annoying not just due to the potential perceived judgement in the statement about their present environment, but just due to the monotony of how frequently the statement is employed.

The more important (and annoying aspect) is the implied neediness, which no one really likes. There isn't anyone who enjoys being on the receiving end of "Do I look fat in this?" or "Was it good for you?" People that constantly request validation in whatever form are just tiring. You usually struggle to have an interaction about anything other than that, which again leads to the repetition of the phrase. With this person it's not cultural. He's been in the U.S. his entire life and is not bilingual.

Does he actually expect an answer? Like, Ratguy, I sometimes get in the habit in lecture of saying "right?" after I explain something complicated. It is probably a somewhat annoying tic, but I'm not looking for anyone to agree with me.