Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[the_geneticist]

Student who took only one test (but didn't turn in any answers) out of four and did not take the final wants to 'talk.'

I'd direct them to the syllabus, their advisor, and the registrar's policies on late Withdrawl.  If the student had an emergency or crisis, there are resources to help them.  If they just "forgot" that they were enrolled, that's another issue.

[OneMoreYear]

This one's a real gem.

I had a student take a final exam... on a plane because family bought surprise tickets to <insert special Florida vacation spot>. Student had to turn off the lockdown and webcam.

Hmm....

If ever there would be a good time for a student to say "No, Parental Units, I cannot take a vacation during finals week," it would be when the parental units are suggesting the student fly to Florida during a pandemic.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student who took only one test (but didn't turn in any answers) out of four and did not take the final wants to 'talk.'

I'd direct them to the syllabus, their advisor, and the registrar's policies on late Withdrawl.  If the student had an emergency or crisis, there are resources to help them.  If they just "forgot" that they were enrolled, that's another issue.

Right. I already had a discussion with the student two weeks ago with these same talking points. Student suggested that I allow stu to take all missed tests in a day. I said, 'No.' I'm thinking the student wants to try again for a Hail Mary.

[the_geneticist]

Student who took only one test (but didn't turn in any answers) out of four and did not take the final wants to 'talk.'

I'd direct them to the syllabus, their advisor, and the registrar's policies on late Withdrawl.  If the student had an emergency or crisis, there are resources to help them.  If they just "forgot" that they were enrolled, that's another issue.

Right. I already had a discussion with the student two weeks ago with these same talking points. Student suggested that I allow stu to take all missed tests in a day. I said, 'No.' I'm thinking the student wants to try again for a Hail Mary.

If they missed the final exam, just submit their course grade as a 0 and be done with it.  The class is over.  You don't have to meet with them.

[fishbrains]

I just "graded" the dumbest essay of the year . . . at least so far. Pretty much along the lines of "A Modest Proposal" being immoral because "eating babies is plainly wrong and we just don't do things like that in today's times." It's not just that she missed the point of the essay (which is not that unusual for the Swift essay), but it's like she read the first paragraph of a plot summary on CheatEssays.com and made a guess at what might have offended her. In 3rd grade English. I mean, she was pretty steamed about a work she hadn't read. Just saddening and bizarre.

[FishProf]

Dear Provost,
We worked to get the Fall schedule setup so that
1)Sections 1-4 of [Basketweaving I] was for Major X Freshpeeps ONLY, all Instructor A.
2) Sections 5-6 of [Basketweaving I] was for Major Y Freshpeeps ONLY, All instructor B.
3) Sections 7 of [Basketweaving I] was for anyone else who needs it for (other than FishProfU) programs. Instructor C.

YOU wanted this to cut down on complaints about disparities in teaching b/w sections. 

So we did.

Now, at the first whiny complaint from a [non-major X/Y] student, you want me to let them (and anyone else) in?  Why did we bother with all that rigamarole in the first place?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student emails me with a question about Respondus. However, the student is asking about a Communications class.... which I do not teach......

[KiUlv]

The graduate student who appeared to ignore most of my emails and almost flunked class, only to inform me on the very last day of the quarter that his university email had not been reinstated after he took an extended leave of absence.

The other graduate student who did almost nothing all quarter (in spite of a formal warning plan and a whole lot more encouragement and grace from me than she should have gotten) and then AFTER the course ended emailed me and asked if we could come to "some kind of agreement" that would allow her to pass class. Um, no. You'll get your 36% transformed into a grade. See you again for the same class next time!

[RatGuy]

I get the hybrid format is new and confusing, but I'm getting way too many emails asking me a variation on "where is the reading?" There's a reading list on the syllabus and it contains authors, titles, and page numbers. And yet students apparently a) don't realize that there's a textbook b) bought the wrong textbook c) got an earlier edition of the textbook so the page numbers don't align d) the ebook doesn't have page numbers or some combination of the above.

[arcturus]

I understand that it is the first week of the semester and you may still be learning about the LMS. However, please check that the file you have uploaded actually contains your work. We cannot grade what we cannot see.

[the_geneticist]

I understand that it is the first week of the semester and you may still be learning about the LMS. However, please check that the file you have uploaded actually contains your work. We cannot grade what we cannot see.

Not to be too cynical, but this is a classic stalling technique to get more time.

My solution is to have them upload something in Week 1 for points.  If they can do it once on a small/easy assignment, then I know they can do it for a bigger assignment.

[arcturus]

I understand that it is the first week of the semester and you may still be learning about the LMS. However, please check that the file you have uploaded actually contains your work. We cannot grade what we cannot see.

Not to be too cynical, but this is a classic stalling technique to get more time.

My solution is to have them upload something in Week 1 for points.  If they can do it once on a small/easy assignment, then I know they can do it for a bigger assignment.

Every semester I send class-wide announcements urging students to verify that the documents they upload to the LMS contain the content they would like to have considered for a grade. Every semester, however, numerous students submit blank documents. While it can be a stalling tactic, many of these documents are submitted well in advance of the deadline. So it appears to be a technology challenge, not a "I failed at time management" challenge.

As a separate (but related) wail of woe, why can't students use the template documents we provide (which makes grading easier, since all will have similar formats) rather than creatively constructing their own? We have space for you to answer questions 1, 2, and 3 in nice, clearly separate, formats. Bunching your responses in a single paragraph (with 10 point font, to boot) makes it very difficult to evaluate your work.

[sprout]

As a separate (but related) wail of woe, why can't students use the template documents we provide (which makes grading easier, since all will have similar formats) rather than creatively constructing their own? We have space for you to answer questions 1, 2, and 3 in nice, clearly separate, formats. Bunching your responses in a single paragraph (with 10 point font, to boot) makes it very difficult to evaluate your work.

If you come up with a solution to this, please let me know.  It's so bewildering when I have clearly laid out "Answer questions 1, 2, 3, and 4" and I get a five-paragraph essay in response!

[Bonnie]

As a separate (but related) wail of woe, why can't students use the template documents we provide (which makes grading easier, since all will have similar formats) rather than creatively constructing their own? We have space for you to answer questions 1, 2, and 3 in nice, clearly separate, formats. Bunching your responses in a single paragraph (with 10 point font, to boot) makes it very difficult to evaluate your work.

If you come up with a solution to this, please let me know.  It's so bewildering when I have clearly laid out "Answer questions 1, 2, 3, and 4" and I get a five-paragraph essay in response!

This. This this this. And I feel kind of bad about it because I don't really want to say to them, "don't you dare find your own way to demonstrate this," but it takes so much longer to grade. I have had some luck lessening the occurrences of this by explaining in the assignment directions and in class that it takes me much longer to grade when they don't use the template, and could they please use the template as a courtesy to me.

[Vkw10]

As a separate (but related) wail of woe, why can't students use the template documents we provide (which makes grading easier, since all will have similar formats) rather than creatively constructing their own? We have space for you to answer questions 1, 2, and 3 in nice, clearly separate, formats. Bunching your responses in a single paragraph (with 10 point font, to boot) makes it very difficult to evaluate your work.

If you come up with a solution to this, please let me know.  It's so bewildering when I have clearly laid out "Answer questions 1, 2, 3, and 4" and I get a five-paragraph essay in response!

This. This this this. And I feel kind of bad about it because I don't really want to say to them, "don't you dare find your own way to demonstrate this," but it takes so much longer to grade. I have had some luck lessening the occurrences of this by explaining in the assignment directions and in class that it takes me much longer to grade when they don't use the template, and could they please use the template as a courtesy to me.

Irrelevant story ahead.

Back in the dark ages (1981-82), my English comp prof told my class about a research study demonstrating that faculty gave typed papers a half-letter grade higher marks on average than handwritten papers. He speculated that the grade difference was due to unconscious tendency to perceive an essay to be better written when it was easier to read. He also volunteered that the library had typewriters available. He had a copy of the journal article on reserve in the library, which I signed out and read. Several weeks later, he mentioned that I was the first student in three years to sign that reserve article out, which in his opinion indicated I was headed for a faculty career.

What? I warned you it was irrelevant!