RIP: To remember those lost to us, whether close or at large

Started by mamselle, June 03, 2019, 05:30:56 PM

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marshwiggle

Quote from: mahagonny on January 18, 2021, 12:08:16 PM
Quote from: marshwiggle on January 18, 2021, 12:03:02 PM
Quote from: kaysixteen on January 18, 2021, 11:30:14 AM
Lemme see:   changed music in the 60s, good, balances out, murderer, bad.

This individual ought to 'rest in peace'?

Assuming the "RIP" in the title is more of a reminder that soeone is dead than an actual wish for someone's eternal repose, if we only choose to "remember" non-complicated people, that will be an extremely short list. It's like getting rid of statues of historical figures; removing public reminders of them doesn't erase their influence (good and bad) on history. Refusing to talk about them doesn't eliminate their contributions.

I thought it could be a way to gloat, while playing the gentleman.

Fair enough. Still more honest than trying to forget they ever existed, or never did anything of value.
It takes so little to be above average.

mahagonny

Quote from: marshwiggle on January 18, 2021, 12:27:23 PM
Quote from: mahagonny on January 18, 2021, 12:08:16 PM
Quote from: marshwiggle on January 18, 2021, 12:03:02 PM
Quote from: kaysixteen on January 18, 2021, 11:30:14 AM
Lemme see:   changed music in the 60s, good, balances out, murderer, bad.

This individual ought to 'rest in peace'?

Assuming the "RIP" in the title is more of a reminder that soeone is dead than an actual wish for someone's eternal repose, if we only choose to "remember" non-complicated people, that will be an extremely short list. It's like getting rid of statues of historical figures; removing public reminders of them doesn't erase their influence (good and bad) on history. Refusing to talk about them doesn't eliminate their contributions.

I thought it could be a way to gloat, while playing the gentleman.

Fair enough. Still more honest than trying to forget they ever existed, or never did anything of value.

Specter's music production innovations are a matter of historical record but their value is a matter of individual taste.

mahagonny

Quote from: mahagonny on January 18, 2021, 01:04:14 PM
Quote from: marshwiggle on January 18, 2021, 12:27:23 PM
Quote from: mahagonny on January 18, 2021, 12:08:16 PM
Quote from: marshwiggle on January 18, 2021, 12:03:02 PM
Quote from: kaysixteen on January 18, 2021, 11:30:14 AM
Lemme see:   changed music in the 60s, good, balances out, murderer, bad.

This individual ought to 'rest in peace'?

Assuming the "RIP" in the title is more of a reminder that soeone is dead than an actual wish for someone's eternal repose, if we only choose to "remember" non-complicated people, that will be an extremely short list. It's like getting rid of statues of historical figures; removing public reminders of them doesn't erase their influence (good and bad) on history. Refusing to talk about them doesn't eliminate their contributions.

I thought it could be a way to gloat, while playing the gentleman.

Fair enough. Still more honest than trying to forget they ever existed, or never did anything of value.

Specter's music production innovations are a matter of historical record but their value is a matter of individual taste. (said the curmudgeon)

larryc

A couple who were acquaintances both died in the last month, both of COVID.

He ran a restaurant and a glossy lifestyle magazine focused on our town. They used to throw release parties for the magazine and we'd go to meet some interesting people. He and I hit it off and made each other laugh.

When COVID hit and he had to close his restaurant he went nuts. Kept arguing on Facebook that it wasn't that bad, the governor is overreacting, etc. He got kicked out of a local Facebook group devoted to COVID safety and wrote a column in his magazine about how mean they were too him.

And throughout the summer and fall they both kept posting photos of themselves out socializing, in groups, no masks in site.

She was 57, he was about 60. I am sad and angry both.

mamselle

I'm sorry for that loss, and I think I also understand your anger.

It's almost the way one can feel about a suicide, on the one hand a felo de se, in that they brought it on themselves, and yet they also deprived others of their beloved company and created a sense of loss in the world that no-one would have ever wanted.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

secundem_artem

My father died 11 years ago today on his 94th birthday.  He'd be 105 today.  He always said he planned to live to be 100 and was mean enough to make.  And he nearly did.  Rest easy Dad.
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

kaysixteen

A hs classmate of mine died of cancer today.   She was a friend of decades, though not intimate, and she made some questionable choices, one of which was embracing, to the point of becoming a practitioner, of quack 'alternative medicine'.   Sadly I have to question whether this hastened her death.

mamselle

I'm sorry for your loss.

When you've known someone that long, it just seems like they'll always be there...and then they aren't.

RIP.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

kaysixteen

Thank you.   I confess I am conflicted.   I do not want her to be dead, but I cannot get around the fact that her poor choices wrt embracing quackery likely greatly hastened that death.   She was not only a user of such things, but an active teacher of them, being, amongst other new agey things, a 'Reiki Master'.

This is similar in fact to what I felt like six months ago when a grad school buddy of mine was killed in a motorcycle crash.   He was in his late 40s, a family man.   Now his wife is a widow and his daughter fatherless, because he was stupid enough to ride a motorcycle.   I get that he was not at fault for the accident-- the trucker who hit him, not impaired in any way, probably just could not see him, and when a truck hits a motorbike, well we all know who loses.   Six months have gone by, his widow is still obviously, by her Facebook efforts, still having a mighty hard time of it, and I am still dealing with really negative feelings towards the guy, who was off on a cross-country summer bike trip while his family was at home, presumably filling some sort of midlife crisis fantasy.  I do not necessarily like my feelings, but cannot deny them nonetheless.

evil_physics_witchcraft

Quote from: kaysixteen on January 21, 2021, 06:30:13 PM
Thank you.   I confess I am conflicted.   I do not want her to be dead, but I cannot get around the fact that her poor choices wrt embracing quackery likely greatly hastened that death.   She was not only a user of such things, but an active teacher of them, being, amongst other new agey things, a 'Reiki Master'.

This is similar in fact to what I felt like six months ago when a grad school buddy of mine was killed in a motorcycle crash.   He was in his late 40s, a family man.   Now his wife is a widow and his daughter fatherless, because he was stupid enough to ride a motorcycle.   I get that he was not at fault for the accident-- the trucker who hit him, not impaired in any way, probably just could not see him, and when a truck hits a motorbike, well we all know who loses.   Six months have gone by, his widow is still obviously, by her Facebook efforts, still having a mighty hard time of it, and I am still dealing with really negative feelings towards the guy, who was off on a cross-country summer bike trip while his family was at home, presumably filling some sort of midlife crisis fantasy.  I do not necessarily like my feelings, but cannot deny them nonetheless.

So sorry for your loss, kay.

ciao_yall

Quote from: kaysixteen on January 19, 2021, 10:29:32 PM
A hs classmate of mine died of cancer today.   She was a friend of decades, though not intimate, and she made some questionable choices, one of which was embracing, to the point of becoming a practitioner, of quack 'alternative medicine'.   Sadly I have to question whether this hastened her death.

Same with Steve Jobs.

I dunno. Maybe she preferred to die whole and naturally instead of sick with radiation and chemotherapy?


kaysixteen

She was 53yo and had children.   She should have accepted serious science-based treatment, rather than quackery.   It really is that simple.

clean

"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader

hmaria1609

Tonight's "PBS News Hour" newscast ended with a memorial tribute to Jim Lehrer who died this time last year.