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RIP mamselle

Started by mystictechgal, January 01, 2023, 09:55:43 AM

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Hello everyone. It has been awhile since I checked in and, sadly, I come bearing bad news.

For a number of years, Mamselle had been fighting what she thought, and had been told, were upper GI issues, treating them with probiotics, diet, etc. A few weeks ago she was admitted to the hospital and they discovered a large mass. She was, in fact, suffering with Stage 4 ovarian cancer that had metastasized to her lungs and other organs. They gave her a prognosis of a few months to a year. She finally decided to go ahead with chemo, and had had at least one treatment, and was working with a Social Worker to figure out where to go upon her release from the hospital. On Friday they inserted a new line to drain fluid from her lungs and she told me she was feeling a bit better, having gotten some sleep and food, and she was enjoying a new scarf she received for Christmas.

She had put together a small group of friends to help her figure out where to re-home some of her possessions: her library, research materials, and instruments, and to help her start to make arrangements for her eventual death. Thankfully, a couple of these friends were local to her and able to visit her and arrange for pastoral care. This morning one of them notified me that she had passed at 3am. They are unsure if her death was caused by a pulmonary embolism or due to a refusal of nutrition. I'm not sure what arrangements are going to be made. I convinced her to talk to her brother, but I do not know if her sister had been told of her condition, yet, and I am not in contact with her family.

Mamselle was a gentle soul, but she was a fighter and fiercely independent. She reached out to me way back when I first joined these fora after I lost my husband. We had the opportunity to meet a number of times - most often when she came this way to attend the conferences in Kalamazoo, where I'd stay in her room and she'd lend me her pass so that I could attend some of the talks and get into the book room while she put finishing touches on her presentation. We spoke and wrote often, about matters both big and small. She was a good friend, and I shall miss her.


Oh. I am so very sorry. My deep condolences to those of you who knew her personally. I only knew her from here (and CHE) I admired her kindness and her engagement.


Oh no!  I also only knew her from here & the CHE, but there is no doubt that all who knew her, in any format, now have a gap in our lives.


I am deeply saddened to hear this news. I will miss her too. :(


I am so sorry, for her sake, her dear friends and family, and ourselves. I was hoping that as she had indicated, there might be more time, bit in my own experience with some friends, that sometimes happens and other times does not, unfortunately.


I am so sorry to hear this.  I met Mamselle briefly years ago.  Thanks for sharing the news, MTG, although I know we all wished for a more promising update to the initial prognosis.  My deep sympathies to you and her other close friends and family.


Very sad. May she rest in peace.


Oh no, this is very sad news. I only knew her electronically, but was shocked and sad to hear of her news, and even more shocked and sad that everything ended so quickly. But thank you for telling us.


I always appreciated her sage advice on my posts. For those who knew her, I'm sorry for your loss. As a newbie here, I appreciated her contributions to this community. What sad news to start the year. My condolences.


Her memory is certainly a blessing for us all.


I am very saddened to hear this news.  We communicated offline only six weeks ago. 
She will absolutely be missed.  Her comments were kind and well thought out, and she was one of the fora members that set such a great collegial example.  I am sorry that I did not communicate more with her. 
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader


So sad to hear this.  We had met in personal several times, and she encouraged me to persevere with some research areas that were adjacent to her own.  I was going to take part in a dance presentation she had put together, but that was sadly sidelined by the start of the pandemic.  I shall certainly miss her occasional nudges to continue my research, and to post here more frequently. Rest in peace, my friend.


What sad news.  Her presence on the fora will be sorely missed.


Thank you, mystictechgal, for informing us all.

Very sad about this news. mamselle was such a presence here, and she sent me some very kind messages during times when I was struggling.

She will be greatly missed.


What sad news.  I will miss her presence here.