Author Topic: the "things you wish you could say" thread  (Read 70430 times)

mamselle

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #945 on: April 15, 2021, 11:54:50 AM »
Just hope this psychopath didn't get upset because the other two folks wouldn't go to baseball games with him, either...

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

science.expat

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #946 on: April 16, 2021, 10:43:51 PM »
Dear colleague:

I think you're a manipulative piece of garbage. You went to the first-year Dean (who doesn't have a full grasp of departmental politics), mischaracterizing yourself as a departmental representative. As a result, you got two strong faculty members removed from their positions, and now we've got to scramble to find replacements before the next term. And you didn't do it out of ambition? You didn't want the job yourself, you just wanted to get people fired? I think you're the worst.

No, I don't want to go to a baseball game with you this weekend.

How could this happen? How could people be sacked on the word of one person?

the_geneticist

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #947 on: April 17, 2021, 09:42:56 AM »
Your timeframe for when we will be posting a new hire and when you assume that person will start is ridiculously, optimistically brief.  Don't forget, the person will have to physically be here since we're returning to in-person instruction in Fall.

Oh, maybe you actually don't care since you won't be department chair anymore?

RatGuy

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #948 on: April 18, 2021, 11:29:06 AM »
Dear colleague:

I think you're a manipulative piece of garbage. You went to the first-year Dean (who doesn't have a full grasp of departmental politics), mischaracterizing yourself as a departmental representative. As a result, you got two strong faculty members removed from their positions, and now we've got to scramble to find replacements before the next term. And you didn't do it out of ambition? You didn't want the job yourself, you just wanted to get people fired? I think you're the worst.

No, I don't want to go to a baseball game with you this weekend.

How could this happen? How could people be sacked on the word of one person?

It's a culmination of a lot of things.

1. The departmental handbook designates that certain  positions with administrative functions (like director of grad studies) are appointed by the chair. Former Chair used to informally "hey, you wanna do this?" to individuals as part of this process.
2. Faculty appointed by Former Chair include tenured, tenure-track, and Non-Tenure Full-Time, as stipulated by the departmental handbook. So there were a few NTFTs in assistant director roles.
3. Some FTNTs grump about this in a "why does he get that job? It comes with a course release and a raise and I want that. So unfair!" Former chair says "if you want to be considered when such positions become available, contact me. But this is the chair's decision."
4. Former Chair leaves, New Chair is hired from outside the university, and is eager to placate everyone.
5. Garbage Person goes to New Chair and says, "All the other NTFTs think this one hiring practice is unfair. You should be a Good Chair and make sure that there are interviews and not automatic renewals. Oh, look, a bunch of NTFTs in administrative roles are due to renewal re-application this month." GP does without telling anyone else.
6. New Chair informs NTFTs that they need to reapply for their positions 1 hour before the job ad goes live. NTFT says, "when I was hired, I was told that the position was renewable for as long as I wanted it." New Chair says, "Nope, this is more transparent. Good luck in your job search!"
7. NTFTs aren't rehired for those jobs (the New Chair is the hiring committee).

Since the FTNTs are on renewable contracts, and one of the ones who lost their admin position is actually up for renewal overall. Given the COVID state of things, there's some questions from the Dean's Office about that NTFT's position. It may develop that without the admin position this faculty member might not have any position here in the fall.

Garbage Person says he sleeps well at night because "I just did what everyone else was thinking."

evil_physics_witchcraft

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #949 on: April 18, 2021, 11:48:31 AM »
Dear colleague:

I think you're a manipulative piece of garbage. You went to the first-year Dean (who doesn't have a full grasp of departmental politics), mischaracterizing yourself as a departmental representative. As a result, you got two strong faculty members removed from their positions, and now we've got to scramble to find replacements before the next term. And you didn't do it out of ambition? You didn't want the job yourself, you just wanted to get people fired? I think you're the worst.

No, I don't want to go to a baseball game with you this weekend.

How could this happen? How could people be sacked on the word of one person?

It's a culmination of a lot of things.

1. The departmental handbook designates that certain  positions with administrative functions (like director of grad studies) are appointed by the chair. Former Chair used to informally "hey, you wanna do this?" to individuals as part of this process.
2. Faculty appointed by Former Chair include tenured, tenure-track, and Non-Tenure Full-Time, as stipulated by the departmental handbook. So there were a few NTFTs in assistant director roles.
3. Some FTNTs grump about this in a "why does he get that job? It comes with a course release and a raise and I want that. So unfair!" Former chair says "if you want to be considered when such positions become available, contact me. But this is the chair's decision."
4. Former Chair leaves, New Chair is hired from outside the university, and is eager to placate everyone.
5. Garbage Person goes to New Chair and says, "All the other NTFTs think this one hiring practice is unfair. You should be a Good Chair and make sure that there are interviews and not automatic renewals. Oh, look, a bunch of NTFTs in administrative roles are due to renewal re-application this month." GP does without telling anyone else.
6. New Chair informs NTFTs that they need to reapply for their positions 1 hour before the job ad goes live. NTFT says, "when I was hired, I was told that the position was renewable for as long as I wanted it." New Chair says, "Nope, this is more transparent. Good luck in your job search!"
7. NTFTs aren't rehired for those jobs (the New Chair is the hiring committee).

Since the FTNTs are on renewable contracts, and one of the ones who lost their admin position is actually up for renewal overall. Given the COVID state of things, there's some questions from the Dean's Office about that NTFT's position. It may develop that without the admin position this faculty member might not have any position here in the fall.

Garbage Person says he sleeps well at night because "I just did what everyone else was thinking."

Sounds like the New Chair is kind of a garbage person too.

apl68

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #950 on: April 23, 2021, 10:50:19 AM »
Dear Self-Published Author,

Thank you for your submission.  I received it at the Mayor's office today--it came to them because you mailed it to the library's old address across the street from it.  The fact that you're using a mailing list that's at least 18 years out of date is not a good sign.

The real giveaway was where you listed your chiropractor degree among your credentials.  People with sore backs can sometimes feel better after seeing a chiropractor.  But chiropractors are NOT anything close to a medical doctor, and have no business publishing books that promise to revolutionize health and wellness.  The cover blurb endorsement from a somewhat has-been celebrity was not reassuring either.

I have no choice but to assume that you are a quack who is trying to donate this book to our library in hopes that gullible patrons will be inspired to buy whatever quack supplements, devices, or services you are peddling.  Helping to shill for you is not our job.  I am not even going to go to the trouble of carrying your ridiculous book back to the library with me.  It can lie around the Mayor's office until somebody gets around to putting it in File 13.

BTW, the glossy color photo section of yourself lounging in your garden, doing meditation, etc. was impressive in a way.  I've never seen that in a self-published quack medical book before.  Not sure what it has to do with medical services, though.  I guess the idea is to get readers to transfer your images of wealth and prosperity into the idea that you obviously know what you're talking about, in the manner of a TV gospel-of-wealth evangelist.
Don't lay up treasures for yourselves on Earth, where they can decay or be stolen.  Lay up treasures for yourselves in Heaven, where there is no decay or theft.  Where your treasure is, you heart will be also.


You can't take it with you.  You can only send it on ahead.

mamselle

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #951 on: April 23, 2021, 02:29:33 PM »
Oh, golly.

My cousin was a chiropractor.

The mailings we got from his outfit...yeah.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

fishbrains

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #952 on: April 23, 2021, 03:19:34 PM »
I guess the idea is to get readers to transfer your images of wealth and prosperity into the idea that you obviously know what you're talking about, in the manner of a TV gospel-of-wealth evangelist.

Hey, it worked for Trump.
I wish I could find a way to show people how much I love them, despite all my words and actions. ~ Maria Bamford

sinenomine

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #953 on: April 27, 2021, 10:08:16 AM »
Dear supervisor,
You seem to think that peppering us with emails makes you look like you’re organized and helpful. However, your constantly having to follow up with corrections shows that you are neither.
"How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks...."

FishProf

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #954 on: April 27, 2021, 10:14:49 AM »
Dear CIO - when I tell you your policy is unclear AND tell you how to make it clear, responding that "It is clear" does not really solve the problem.  Nor does it give much hope for compliance.

Except malicious compliance.  Which is my favorite kind.
And how is that working out for you?

ergative

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #955 on: April 28, 2021, 02:23:34 AM »
Look, I know you're super busy, but I'm getting really annoyed at constantly having to sub in for you at these meetings because you can't fulfill your responsibilities. Once it was an all-day training in another city. Don't volunteer for tasks you can't actually complete!

So, although I do have time to attend this one-hour zoom meeting on your behalf, I'm not going to volunteer to do it. Find someone else.

fishbrains

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #956 on: April 28, 2021, 02:30:54 PM »
WTF? In this context, it doesn't matter when final grades from faculty are due. But it should have mattered a whole f*cking bunch when the students' assignments were due throughout the semester. Yeesh!
I wish I could find a way to show people how much I love them, despite all my words and actions. ~ Maria Bamford

the_geneticist

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #957 on: April 28, 2021, 03:05:06 PM »
You know what I HATE about online teaching?  The ridiculous game of whack-a-mole to get my materials removed from Chegg, CourseHero, and other sites.  The fact that it's so much easier (and so tempting!) for students to cheat.  I hate filling out the misconduct forms.  And the fact that most of the students who are cheating are cheating badly.  Weird, random answers from folks on the internet are usually wrong.
But sure, let's talk about how online classes are GREAT and we should be offering MORE of them!

kiana

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #958 on: April 28, 2021, 03:52:59 PM »
You know what I HATE about online teaching?  The ridiculous game of whack-a-mole to get my materials removed from Chegg, CourseHero, and other sites.  The fact that it's so much easier (and so tempting!) for students to cheat.  I hate filling out the misconduct forms.  And the fact that most of the students who are cheating are cheating badly.  Weird, random answers from folks on the internet are usually wrong.
But sure, let's talk about how online classes are GREAT and we should be offering MORE of them!

100%. And the fact that dealing with cheating is necessarily reactive rather than proactive. I have caught more people cheating this semester than I have in TEN YEARS of fulltime teaching prior to this.

FishProf

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Re: the "things you wish you could say" thread
« Reply #959 on: April 29, 2021, 04:29:38 AM »
Maybe you should waylay the President in the parking lot and beg him to renew you for one more year.  Then he can kick it to the Provost, who will kick it to the Dean, who will demand an explanation from me.  THAT should motivate me to bring you back for another year.

Oh wait, you already DID THIS.  And how is THAT working out for you?
And how is that working out for you?