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"Favorite" student sentences

Started by Thursday's_Child, September 26, 2019, 08:37:56 AM

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Chemystery

From the final lab report of the semester:

"Trial 3 is our best trial because it has the largest percent error."

I have failed.

writingprof

From a student who is at least forty . . . "I'll confess that I had never heard of gentrification before this assignment."

The Left has failed.

AmLitHist

In Comp I we learned the basics to write a paper based on our own onions and life experiences.

I know it's just a typo, but it made me giggle.  Or maybe that was from the stack of lousy Comp II papers that came before this one.  I'm a little punchy at the moment.

marshwiggle

Quote from: AmLitHist on January 30, 2020, 08:06:44 AM
In Comp I we learned the basics to write a paper based on our own onions and life experiences.

I know it's just a typo, but it made me giggle.  Or maybe that was from the stack of lousy Comp II papers that came before this one.  I'm a little punchy at the moment.

Well, remember the immortal words of Shrek; "Onions have layers."
It takes so little to be above average.

ciao_yall

Quote from: AmLitHist on January 30, 2020, 08:06:44 AM
In Comp I we learned the basics to write a paper based on our own onions and life experiences.

I know it's just a typo, but it made me giggle.  Or maybe that was from the stack of lousy Comp II papers that came before this one.  I'm a little punchy at the moment.

Spellcheck didn't flag it. So it HAS to be correct.

apl68

Quote from: AmLitHist on January 30, 2020, 08:06:44 AM
In Comp I we learned the basics to write a paper based on our own onions and life experiences.

With some papers, that might explain so much....
If any will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever will lose his life for my sake will find it.
For how does a man profit if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?

Aster


bento

"Waa laaa!" is still one of my favorite moments.

And

"Socrates here.  Really needed to just check himself."

Juvenal

Quote from: AmLitHist on January 30, 2020, 08:06:44 AM
In Comp I we learned the basics to write a paper based on our own onions and life experiences.

I know it's just a typo, but it made me giggle.  Or maybe that was from the stack of lousy Comp II papers that came before this one.  I'm a little punchy at the moment.

Perhaps the assignment was Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott"?
Cranky septuagenarian

Blackadder

The profundity of this one is profound.
QuoteEver since I was born, I have been going about my day throughout my life. 

Aster

Reviewing the Coriolis Effect today. I was discussing the mythos behind which way that toilets flush in Australia.

Stu Dent: "I was stoned in Brazil once and the clouds were all moving in the same direction."

Aster

Reviewing woody plant growth patterns in class today.

Stu Dent: "So is marijuana a herb?"

Me to whole class: "Okay. Picture a cannabis plant. What do you think?"

Sea of blank faces. Our state has very lax marijuana laws, and at least half of these students have smoked/ingested marijuana. Some have definitely grown the plant indoors, it's the most popular indoor cultivated plant in the state. Half of the gardening bookshelf at the Barnes & Nobles is dedicated just to growing weed.

Me: "What? Nobody knows what a marijuana plant looks like?"

Nothing. Not even giggling or mumbling. This is getting weird. Maybe they think there's an undercover cop in the room.

So I had to tell them what an adult marijuana plant looked like. Like most of them didn't already know. Lame.

apl68

Quote from: Blackadder on February 19, 2020, 06:31:15 PM
The profundity of this one is profound.
QuoteEver since I was born, I have been going about my day throughout my life. 

That would make a good ice cream koan.
If any will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever will lose his life for my sake will find it.
For how does a man profit if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?

lilyb

"Also, men would not want to change their name to their wife's last name because more than likely it would probably break their morals and their manly hood."

mamselle

Quote from: apl68 on February 20, 2020, 07:35:57 AM
Quote from: Blackadder on February 19, 2020, 06:31:15 PM
The profundity of this one is profound.
QuoteEver since I was born, I have been going about my day throughout my life. 

That would make a good ice cream koan.

Whhoohooo! Very good!

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.