Christmas gift from student - inappropriate to keep?

Started by Kron3007, December 13, 2019, 04:48:03 PM

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Kron3007

I got a Christmas card with a gift certificate to a restaurant in it.  While it is a really nice thought, it feels inappropriate to keep it.  That being said, it also seems odd to decline it, although this is how I am leaning.

So, I thought I would ask the wise fora for thought. 

mamselle

Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

fourhats

I would feel awkward too. Students often give me small gifts but I've never received a gift certificate.

Where are you located? Where is your student from? When I worked in the UK, students regularly gave gifts to faculty, sometimes very expensive ones; they were students from other countries where gift giving was considered a mark of respect. In the US, I sometimes get gifts from international students. They are often rather modest, but they'd be hurt if I refused them.

If neither of these applies to your situation, and your institution doesn't have a policy against it (mine does for gifts above a certain value, like $50), give great thanks, and then hand it off to a valued staff worker who helps your department.

Bede the Vulnerable

My former institution had a policy that faculty could accept no gifts from students which carried any "monetary value."  So I had to refuse a very generous gift certificate to a steakhouse.  We were allowed to accept small gifts--a pen and pencil set that I still have, for instance.  Also food:  Students could bake us cookies.

I have not been faced with this "dilemma" at my new U.  But it's best to check on institutional policy, since these things can vary.

The issue that I've run into is cultural.  Latin American and Chinese students have a tradition of providing gifts to instructors whom they particularly appreciate.  I have trouble saying no to these gifts, since gifting is important to the students.  Fortunately, I've received nice things like CD's of Chinese classical music, or a poster from Peru which I framed and have hanging in the living room.  But nothing of "monetary value."
Of making many books there is no end;
And much study is a weariness of the flesh.

Vkw10

When gift is from student from cultural tradition of gifting, I express appreciation, explain University policy on gifts, and discuss ways to handle gift that bring me joy while staying within policy. For a small memento that's within policy to accept, we will choose a place to display in office where I can share with other students. For gift certicates and other monetary equivalents, I encourage the student to donate to local organization in my honor, discussing my support for several organizations and explaining that organization will write me a nice letter which I'll add to my memory book. I show them my memory book, a good quality album of student thank you notes that is prominently displayed.

My last university had substantial international student enrollment, so I regularly needed a way to express appreciation without violating policy. This worked, while also educating students on a way to handle a cultural difference they found puzzling.
Enthusiasm is not a skill set. (MH)

Kron3007

Yes, I have received small gifts from international students before.  Typically when they return from visiting their home.  In these cases I accepted the gifts and it didn't even cross my mind not to.

In this case, it is a domestic student (Canada) and the card is quite generous.  This is where it starts to seem inappropriate to accept, which I believe has been confirmed here.  Not that this matters, but the student drives a nicer car than I do, so I suspect he comes from a well off family and maybe dosnt realize this is that unusual.  Regardless, I really appreciate his intention but will have to give it back or ask he donate it to a worthy cause on my behalf.

downer

I'm curious why it would be wrong to accept a gift from a student if the student won't be in future classes.

How many colleges have rules on this? Seems rare to me.
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

RatGuy

Quote from: downer on December 14, 2019, 04:23:07 AM
How many colleges have rules on this? Seems rare to me.

Per University policy, instructors should not accept any gift from a student that exceeds $25 in value. There are also policies about other "gifts" like accepting a drink at a bar/restaurant.

FWIW, I normally receive Starbucks gift cards from students, if I receive anything (maybe once every two years). I pass them along to the departmental staff.

downer

Does regifting a gift make it less morally problematic when accepting it than keeping it for yourself?
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

mahagonny

#9
Quote from: downer on December 14, 2019, 04:23:07 AM
I'm curious why it would be wrong to accept a gift from a student if the student won't be in future classes.

How many colleges have rules on this? Seems rare to me.

I have received a couple of gifts from students at the time we finished working together. The best one was a bottle of champagne (which I gave to staff member -- not a champagne drinker) with a card. I didn't read the card until two years later. It was sweet.

Another guy gave me set of several CD's of great music at the end of our work. We're friends on FB today. Great guy.

Another student brought me home made pastry and tea from her homeland. Another time she gave me an oil painting of me that she had done from a photo. That one felt a little odd. Another time she had been to the Caribbean and brought me a pair of maracas. But there was never anything of significant value, just thoughtful things, so I didn't worry too much. And she was Korean so I thought, they have their customs.

But most students never give me gifts and that makes it easy.

There are no rules about gifts in the faculty handbook.

Kron3007

Quote from: downer on December 14, 2019, 04:23:07 AM
I'm curious why it would be wrong to accept a gift from a student if the student won't be in future classes.

How many colleges have rules on this? Seems rare to me.

If this was at the end of their program after I had no further influence over grades etc., I would likely keep it.  I don't see a conflict of interest at this point.

  In this case, they are fairly early in the program, and while they will not take any classes with me, I have direct influence on their thesis as well as funding decisions (sending them to conferences etc) so it seems inappropriate to keep it.

It's unfortunate because it is a very nice gesture and who dosnt like a nice meal out?