the "things you wish you could say" thread

[archaeo42]

If you wanted a cleaner copy than you should have asked for that. Using 'soft copy' in your initial email was not clear at all.

[mamselle]

I really did tell you so.

M.

[hmaria1609]

To library patron: Not interested in talking to you.  Go back to the teen section and entertain your fellow teens.

[miss jane marple]

Don't ask me a "how do you get the software to do this?" question and then growl at me when I give you the answer.

[Thursday's_Child]

If I sent you a gift-wrapped GCF would you get the hint and leave?

[ab_grp]

Dear colleague,

[redacted infinite scream].

This is the most poorly run and adversarial organization that I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with, to put it lightly.  Maybe you should try reading for understanding rather than skimming and replying hastily from your smarter-than-you phone.  Well, at least it's 5 o'clock somewhere.

[the_geneticist]

There is no way you can finish that project in a month.

[wareagle]

I got a job offer!

(just wishin')

[polly_mer]

I got a job offer!

(just wishin')

That's a great wish!

[ergative]

1. You are chewing gum. I can smell it from here.

2. You are drinking instant coffee.

3. Simultaneously. I mean--I can't . . . what--how even--is that-- . ..

. . .

?

[fishbrains]

Looky here: I'm on a serious sobriety binge right now, and I'm not dealing with stupid $hit very well. And you have decided, for some reason, to turn yourself into a walking, talking piece of stupid $hit. My patience wears thin . . .

[Anselm]

Notice to all short people: 
If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!

[archaeo42]

What part of, "I will update you when I know more," is unclear to you? It hasn't even been a full 24 hours and you're asking for an update? (This is also information that I can't provide and I'm relying on a technical person to address the question).

[mamselle]

For a software firm meant to serve mostly accountants, your customer service sites, practices, and serious glitches are nearly unfathomable....unaccountably, unacceptably so, in fact.

I'd change firms if it were up to me, but it's not.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........

M.

[AmLitHist]

Notice to all short people daughter who is the same height as me, if not maybe an inch taller: 

If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!

(And WHY do you find it necessary to put the seat way up under the blessed steering wheel?  And HOW can you even drive like that?!)