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bad puns and dad jokes

Started by traductio, December 17, 2019, 07:56:04 PM

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traductio

What do you get when you cross a squid with a pear?

A square.

(Feel free to share your own bad puns and dad jokes.)

scamp

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain goat?

Don't be silly, you can't cross a vector with a scalar!
(I am hoping bad math jokes are allowed)

FishProf

(Say this out loud)

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh
I'd rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.

traductio

Quote from: scamp on December 18, 2019, 09:22:26 AM
What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain goat?

Don't be silly, you can't cross a vector with a scalar!
(I am hoping bad math jokes are allowed)

All bad jokes are not only allowed but encouraged.

Liquidambar

My all-time favorite...

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. ~ Dirk Gently

Kron3007

How can you tell if a joke is a Dad joke? 

Because the punchline's a parent...

traductio

Quote from: Kron3007 on December 18, 2019, 11:19:50 AM
How can you tell if a joke is a Dad joke? 

Because the punchline's a parent...

My best friend in high school collected t-shirts that set up jokes. (That's a narrow category of t-shirts, but still he collected them.) His favorite simply had the letters "D D A" on the front. When people asked what that meant, he'd say, "When you rearrange the letters the answer is apparent."

(You saw that coming, didn't you.)

clean

For the 4- 6 year old crowd:

If you make a cow laugh really hard will milk come out of her nose?
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader

Bede the Vulnerable

A woman is on trial for beating her husband with an electric guitar.  The judge:  "First time offender?"  She:  "No, first time a Gibson."
Of making many books there is no end;
And much study is a weariness of the flesh.

clean

where do horses stay when they visit a hotel?


The Bridle Suite (of course, of course)
"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am"  Darth Vader

secundem_artem

Doctor, my eye hurts when I drink a cup of coffee.

Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

Parasaurolophus

What does a cat read on the toilet?

Litterature!
I know it's a genus.

traductio

Yay! Post more -- I feel my supply is running low. (I'm a dad of two kids and they still think dad jokes are funny.)

science.expat

Quote from: scamp on December 18, 2019, 09:22:26 AM
What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain goat?

Don't be silly, you can't cross a vector with a scalar!
(I am hoping bad math jokes are allowed)

I'm not sure whether I should groan or share this. Maybe both ;-)

polly_mer

Why was Fauci's first pitch so far off base?

It's Fauci's job to prevent anyone from catching it.
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!