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Getting loopy messages from my therapist

Started by secundem_artem, May 04, 2023, 09:25:16 AM

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secundem_artem

I've been talking to my same therapist once or twice a month for any number of years.  She moved out of state a while ago so we've been meeting via tele-medicine which has been fine. It's been a beneficial relationship and I'm generally satisfied at what I get out of our sessions and if nothing else, I get a chance to vent about some issues it would not be safe for me to vent about elsewhere.  So far so good.

But over the last couple of weeks, I have had a number of increasingly concerning messages from her.  It started off as a phone call out of the blue suggesting a possible medication regimen (therapist is not trained in pharmacology or therapeutics).  Then some texts (we often communicate by text to set up appointments) indicating she has been invited to speak at a conference in Rome (not sure if it's one of those shady for profit deals or not) and would I review her research (she is not a trained researcher).  And late last night and again this morning, a series of WhatsApp messages (we've never communicated on WhatsApp) telling me she's been asked by some corporate executive to come to a weird sounding meeting at a church out of town and she's scared for her safety.

I do know she has a history of major depressive disorder and was treated for some kind of cerebral vascular event several years ago - but she's always seemed to have recovered from that and her depression was never a factor in her talking with me.

I'm not diagnostically trained but she sounds manic based on these relatively few messages.  But I am concerned for her (no this is not some kind of transference/counter transference issue).

What the hell should I do here?  She sees me  independently of any group practice she may be in because our relationship long pre-dates her moving out of state.  Do I call her office and express concern?  Do I ignore these weird messages?  Call her directly and maybe take the lid off a giant can of snakes? 

I suspect most forumites either have a therapist (or need one) so perhaps somebody has some previous experience with a counselor who has apparently gone off the rails???

I know this post may sound like one of those posts from sparkle pony on the old fora expressing undying love for a professor, but on my honor, this is real and I have no idea what to do.
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

downer

I once had a therapist who thought that I should not have ended therapy with them send me a request to be their friend on Goodreads, and also email me saying why I needed more therapy. I ignored that.

It depends on whether you plan on staying in therapy with them. If so, I'd write saying you are uncomfortable with their requests and ask them to stop messaging you about issues outside of scheduling appointments.

If you don't plan on continuing therapy, you could just ghost her and block all forms of contact. Or you could reply asking her to stop.

I wouldn't make any comments about her mental health. That's not your problem.
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

mythbuster

I would call the office and ask if she's been hacked. It's very possible those messages are not really from her. Especially if you had not used WhatsApp before to communicate.

fleabite

I would follow-up. If she practices with other therapists in a group, I would be inclined to reach out to the senior partner/head of the practice to express your concern. Others may have noticed problems, and your observations could be helpful in prompting intervention or alerting the practice that she may need assistance. Or, as mythbuster suggested, you may find out that she has been hacked.

If she is in practice alone, that's more difficult. It's not really something to broach with the receptionist. In that case, I think I would bring it up at the beginning of your next scheduled meeting. I would tell her that you found some  recent contacts from her disturbing and see what she says about that.

Regardless of how you approach this, I would not ignore it.

Puget

Quote from: mythbuster on May 04, 2023, 11:38:02 AM
I would call the office and ask if she's been hacked. It's very possible those messages are not really from her. Especially if you had not used WhatsApp before to communicate.
This was my first thought too-- have you asked her if these messages are actually from her? A common type of scam is for someone to impersonate someone you know with some scenario that eventually leads to them asking for money to deal with some travel or other emergency.

If they are really from her, this is definitely violating professional standards, and if it is wildly out of character it is concerning (maybe not mania, but *something* is going on for her). Even if you aren't seeing her through a group practice, if she is part of group practice I would still suggest contacting them to express concern. There is also the option to report to the appropriate licensing board, but that would definitely be escalating things. 
"Never get separated from your lunch. Never get separated from your friends. Never climb up anything you can't climb down."
–Best Colorado Peak Hikes

Myword


I agree, maybe this is not her talking. If it is, why continue? Maybe she should pay you. A major depressive...huge red flag. Surely, you can find another therapist, or go without. I distrust " therapy" for reasons I won't go into here.
Why do you "suspect that most forumites have a therapist or need one?"  Well, I don't and resent the implication. Posting on a professional forum doesn't imply mental health issues!

Hegemony

That sounds worrying. Either she has been hacked or she is becoming unbalanced in a worrying way. It could be some kind of mania, but also some kind of vascular event. Or is she of an age where dementia, or early dementia, might be a concern?

I would definitely alert someone. It could be that her practice has not noticed, or it could well be that they have noticed a few signs but have no idea of the extent of it. I'd think it's unlikely that she is sending weird messages to you alone. If she really is losing her grip, that's not good, and especially not good for patients of hers who might be in crisis. You need a therapist who is in full command of her faculties and can act appropriately for a situation like that. And proposing inappropriate medication regimens when she is not qualified — yikes! That could get her in deep trouble if it went wrong. So alerting her practice proactively may be of great help to someone else and to her.

secundem_artem

Thanks for the feedback o wise ones.

Long story short - therapist messaged me to indicate that she knows something is wrong and is having it addressed ASAP.  I think the problem will be resolved without me intervening.
Funeral by funeral, the academy advances

downer

I am struck by how many of you want to raise an alert that a therapist is being somewhat inappropriate. My threshold is very different. If a therapist was clearly off the rails, I'd probably do something, especially if there was any danger involved. But with this middle ground, I'd stay well out of it.
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis