Comeback when stranger calls you "dear"?

[mamselle]

Except the effort to deflect the topic away from the actual point...

Charmers are dangerous people, and they're among those who use such forms of address.

M.

[nebo113]

want to cause you to think things that shouldn't be voiced

Perhaps a burka might be appropriate to minimize those urges.....

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced.  Have you never seen a female in a bikini?  Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  A woman in a tight dress....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in a short skirt....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?   A voluptuous woman.....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in skinny jeans...Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  Are women still objects unless in burkas?

[mahagonny]

want to cause you to think things that shouldn't be voiced

Perhaps a burka might be appropriate to minimize those urges.....

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced.  Have you never seen a female in a bikini?  Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  A woman in a tight dress....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in a short skirt....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?   A voluptuous woman.....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in skinny jeans...Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  Are women still objects unless in burkas?

Any of you men reading care to handle these questions?

[fishbrains]

want to cause you to think things that shouldn't be voiced

Perhaps a burka might be appropriate to minimize those urges.....

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced.  Have you never seen a female in a bikini?  Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  A woman in a tight dress....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in a short skirt....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?   A voluptuous woman.....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in skinny jeans...Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  Are women still objects unless in burkas?

Any of you men reading care to handle these questions?

Ummm . . . yeah . . . so how about that Bill's game on Sunday?

[Caracal]

Except the effort to deflect the topic away from the actual point...

Charmers are dangerous people, and they're among those who use such forms of address.

M.

Dear? If a professor addresses a student as dear, that is creepy. For a waiter, it is decidedly not and is usually a gender neutral form of address.

[marshwiggle]

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced. 

So "supposedly educated males" ought somehow be able to not think about anything they shouldn't?

Go ahead and try it. "Don't think of an elephant."

Not acting on thoughts is something people have control over. People can even discipline themselves to not dwell on certain thoughts. No-one can control the random thoughts that enter their minds.

[Caracal]

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced. 

So "supposedly educated males" ought somehow be able to not think about anything they shouldn't?

Go ahead and try it. "Don't think of an elephant."

Not acting on thoughts is something people have control over. People can even discipline themselves to not dwell on certain thoughts. No-one can control the random thoughts that enter their minds.

The trope being referenced was that women are responsible for creepy male behavior because of what they wear-or that they should be shamed because supposedly what they wear causes men to have sexual thoughts. You're right, of course, that nobody really cares about stray thoughts, unless people insist on voicing those thoughts aloud in inappropriate settings. Noticing a violinists bare arms doesn't hurt anyone, but writing about them in your review of her performance does.

[mahagonny]

The

The trope being referenced was that women are responsible for creepy male behavior because of what they wear-or that they should be shamed because supposedly what they wear causes men to have sexual thoughts.

I think Marshy knows that. He just posted something that didn't particularly meet the requirement for outrage.

ETA: "She started a heat wave by letting her seat wave." Cancel that lecherous old Irving Berlin

[marshwiggle]

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced. 

So "supposedly educated males" ought somehow be able to not think about anything they shouldn't?

Go ahead and try it. "Don't think of an elephant."

Not acting on thoughts is something people have control over. People can even discipline themselves to not dwell on certain thoughts. No-one can control the random thoughts that enter their minds.

The trope being referenced was that women are responsible for creepy male behavior because of what they wear-or that they should be shamed because supposedly what they wear causes men to have sexual thoughts.

But that was the odd thing. The complaint was about males "seeing" the scarlet letter and "thinking" things that shouldn't be voiced. It specifically did not refer to behaviour. Academics of all people should recognize the vital importance of that distinction.

[Kron3007]

want to cause you to think things that shouldn't be voiced

Perhaps a burka might be appropriate to minimize those urges.....

I am appalled that supposedly educated males  seem to think that today's female attire causes them to see the scarlet letter, to think things that shouldn't be voiced.  Have you never seen a female in a bikini?  Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  A woman in a tight dress....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in a short skirt....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?   A voluptuous woman.....Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do? A woman in skinny jeans...Do you "think things that shouldn't be voiced" when you do?  Are women still objects unless in burkas?

Any of you men reading care to handle these questions?

I think all sorts of things that shouldn't be voiced (not just in respect to this topic), so I don't voice them.  I can't stop my brain, it has a mind of its own, but I can decide how to act.  I am a normal human.

I can only imagine everyone has thoughts that should not be voiced, it would be weird if you didn't. 

For clarity, this dosn't justify any unwanted actions or make anyone responsible for the thoughts of others.  It is just human nature.  We are educated, not robots.

   

[mahagonny]

I promise I won't give voice to any prurient lustful thoughts that I'm not having because of your provocative dress.

I promise not to have any...never mind.

[secundem_artem]

Kay made it clear he does not care for informal forms of address when in a professional setting like a doctor's office.  Turns out the docs don't like it either.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/13/health/doctors-first-names.html?action=click&algo=bandit-alpha-decay-0.4-eng30s-shadow-lda-unique&alpha=0.02&block=trending_recirc&fellback=false&imp_id=803690582&impression_id=cc3c5f38-4b32-11ed-aec5-ed9f1597fbc4&index=0&pgtype=Article&pool=pool%2F91fcf81c-4fb0-49ff-bd57-a24647c85ea1&region=footer&req_id=576449165&shadow_vec_sim=0.21848352209693883&surface=eos-most-popular-story&variant=2_alpha-bandit-decay-0.4-eng30s-shadow-refined-lda-unique

[paultuttle]

Being a tall, deep-voiced, straight-appearing gay Southern man, I have to confess that I've deployed "honey," "sugar," and other such overly-sweet diminutives a not insignificant number of times over the years against (who else?) straight male homophobes.

Freaks them the hell out or else ticks them off abominably, let me tell you.

Doesn't it occur to you that you might be doing a disservice to other gay men who don't have a taste for your kind of mischief?

In this one way, mahoganny, you and I are very similar: Sometimes I just don't give a damn.

(Although in my case, it tends to be only when I'm pushed past my limit, instead of a 24/7/365 way of dealing with the world.)