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The Venting Thread

Started by polly_mer, May 20, 2019, 07:03:27 PM

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nescafe

I have a student who failed to complete an undergrad thesis project last year. He took an incomplete, and he has 1 more academic year to complete the thesis in order to graduate. Instead of working on the thesis, he is sending me a barrage of emails making increasingly unreasonable demands on my time.

Today, he suggested (for the third time!) that I drive to his city 2.5 away from campus to meet with him to discuss his thesis project because his job doesn't bring him to campus. I've told him twice before that no, this is not an option. His response was to loop in a second faculty member in my dept and suggest we "co-mentor" him.

I'm so tired.

downer

Quote from: nescafe on November 03, 2019, 05:04:44 PM
I have a student who failed to complete an undergrad thesis project last year. He took an incomplete, and he has 1 more academic year to complete the thesis in order to graduate. Instead of working on the thesis, he is sending me a barrage of emails making increasingly unreasonable demands on my time.

Today, he suggested (for the third time!) that I drive to his city 2.5 away from campus to meet with him to discuss his thesis project because his job doesn't bring him to campus. I've told him twice before that no, this is not an option. His response was to loop in a second faculty member in my dept and suggest we "co-mentor" him.

I'm so tired.

The main explanations I can imagine are that this person has a great sense of entitlement or is mentally ill. These are not mutually exclusive, but they do suggest different reactions to their behavior. Either way, my sympathies!
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

nescafe

Quote from: downer on November 03, 2019, 05:09:16 PM
The main explanations I can imagine are that this person has a great sense of entitlement or is mentally ill.

There is definitely a blend of both issues at work here. He also alternates between these sorts of requests and accusatory language that is also pretty alarming.

I've got the admin looped in here, and they'll help take care of him. But I feel my compassion meter being run down by this student daily.

downer

Quote from: nescafe on November 04, 2019, 07:12:59 AM
Quote from: downer on November 03, 2019, 05:09:16 PM
The main explanations I can imagine are that this person has a great sense of entitlement or is mentally ill.

There is definitely a blend of both issues at work here. He also alternates between these sorts of requests and accusatory language that is also pretty alarming.

I've got the admin looped in here, and they'll help take care of him. But I feel my compassion meter being run down by this student daily.

Maybe there is an advantage in acting compassionately. Or maybe it would be better to be strict and focus on boundaries and rules. It's hard to tell. I tend to prefer clear boundaries.

Personally, I'm not sure that feeling empathy or compassion is called for, and it is very easy to get worn out by difficult behavior. I'd work to minimize my interaction with the student. Seems that they have already done more than enough to say that you are not prepared to have anything more to do with them.
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

downer

Why is the VP of administration sending out emails telling people to buy stuff from the campus Dunkin'?

I'd find any promotion of a campus franchise by a VP problematic, but promoting Dunkin' is beyond the pale.
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."—Sinclair Lewis

Thesneezyone

Part of my job is to cajole professors to develop courses for a particular program. This is hard to do because they don't get a reduction in their current commitments, but there is a nice stipend at the end of the process.

The stipend is supposed to be released as soon as the courses are through development. EVERYONE who I got to develop courses this past summer should have been paid in AUGUST. It is now NOVEMBER and the stipends are still not paid out (a combination of HR bureaucracy and the dept that actually pays the stipends taking their sweet-ass time releasing them).

And you want me to get MORE people to develop courses for this program?!

Sneezy

onehappyunicorn

Our bookstore rep sends out surveys to students in order to assess the efficacy of their delivery systems, particularly the ebooks and online only materials.

When a student uses the survey as an opportunity to vent about an instructor it is really not appropriate for you to email me and cc the director of the Office of Civility about the complaint. It is especially not appropriate for you to ask me "now will you contact the instructor and student to take care of this or do I?"

The college has a clearly established grievance and complaint policy and procedure. Surveys sent out from the bookstore, along with bookstore reps, are not found anywhere within that process. This bookstore rep has already, in the short time they been working with our institution, established a troubling pattern of hitting the nuclear option first on every issue.

paultuttle

Quote from: Bede the Vulnerable on October 06, 2019, 07:10:38 PM
How's this for "trivial"?  The letter "i" is sticking on my laptop keyboard.  I have to hammer it hard to get it to work.

It HAD TO be a vowel . . .

My ever-so-slightly irreverent translation: Bede the Vulnerable is having some difficulty in producing a vowel movement.

<ducks and runs>

mamselle

Was it always "Vulnerable?"

What happened to "Venerable"?

<wanders off, perplexed...>

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

Juvenal

#144
Quote from: mamselle on November 08, 2019, 02:52:22 PM
Was it always "Vulnerable?"

What happened to "Venerable"?

<wanders off, perplexed...>

M.

I do believe the Bede has always been Vulnerable.  And I expect some people take me to be Juvenile.  Been there, done that.  Ah, well.  What a difference a letter or two makes.  I tell my students (when talking of mutation) about the story of "Goldilocks and the the Three Beads."  Doesn't have quite the same punch.
Cranky septuagenarian

mamselle

No, I always had you pegged for a satiric Roman poet....

You had that air about you...

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

FishProf

For a YEAR you got emails saying we were purging old stuff and that if you wanted it, you should claim it.  We tied up the conference room for two weeks to lay out all the stuff on the tables so you could claim it.

You didn't.

It got thrown out.

I have zero *%&#s to give now, years later, after you retired, that you are hurt it is gone and you wish "someone had let me know".

We did.
I'd rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.

mamselle

Last night I was in the mood to copy all those scans and title them.

But the wifi at Panera's was dragging its heels.

(All my good libraries close at 5 or 6 PM...)

Now I'm in a decent library with good wifi.

And I don't feeeeeeelllll like it!

Don't wanna. Hafta.

Grumble.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

mamselle

Vent 2a/today...

If you needed me to take out the text boxes along with the pictures for your blog, why didn't you say so three weeks ago when I first sent them??????

I thought you needed them for placement and for the captions. If not, I can easily de-supply them.

It's not that hard to do, I turned them around in 1/2 hour.

I'm waiting to give several interested parties the links; maybe before year's end?

Grrrrr........

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

Porcupine

Blaming me for doing my job, exactly as I am supposed to do it, is profoundly unfair. Not that you care.