I have two students who were male last year and now are female. Wife says I should tell them about each other so they can mutually support. I say I should refrain from commenting on things that have not been brought to my attention out of respect for privacy. Any ideas?
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I'm guessing they probably know about each other through the campus LGBTQ community. No need to get involved.
You're right, it's not for you to do. And yeah, either they know each other already, or they soon will.
Follow up: Alicia is in my class again this year. Last year Alicia was Tyrone. She is in my class again this year along with a handful of other holdovers from last year. Should I say anything to the class or just let them observe that I am calling the student by a different name and let things progress as they will? Should I ask Alicia what to do?
Just call Alicia, Alicia. I can't see any reason to announce that Alicia used to be someone else.
redacted
If it were me, and I knew them both, I'd for sure meet or contact each one separately and offer individual support. I'd also offer a preemptive apology for messing up a name. FWIW I knew individual students by name in each class I taught (35 and fewer was typical for my department).
I almost certainly would do something I felt badly about by accident (you might be better than I). I only hope they'll be as gracious as a colleague of mine was. She had recently transitioned, and when we were drinking beer and eating bbq with alums outside in a very cold tent I said something about being cold, and then added "I guess I'm just not as a much of a man as I used to be" entirely cluelessly (a phrase I'd uttered a bunch as I aged in the early 90s). She just smiled and said there was a lot of that going around recently, which helped me feel less like an ass.
Quote from: jimbogumbo on September 10, 2022, 01:24:34 PM
I almost certainly would do something I felt badly about by accident (you might be better than I). I only hope they'll be as gracious as a colleague of mine was. She had recently transitioned, and when we were drinking beer and eating bbq with alums outside in a very cold tent I said something about being cold, and then added "I guess I'm just not as a much of a man as I used to be" entirely cluelessly (a phrase I'd uttered a bunch as I aged in the early 90s). She just smiled and said there was a lot of that going around recently, which helped me feel less like an ass.
This is the way woke culture makes the only safe choice be to have minimal interaction with anyone other than close friends and family members. It's why many male managers have decided to never mentor female subordinates. When innocent actions
that no-one in a previous generation would have seen as offensive can now have serious consequences, the prudent person just avoids any contact that isn't specifically necessary and directed to a very utilitarian purpose.
Quote from: marshwiggle on September 10, 2022, 01:49:47 PM
Quote from: jimbogumbo on September 10, 2022, 01:24:34 PM
I almost certainly would do something I felt badly about by accident (you might be better than I). I only hope they'll be as gracious as a colleague of mine was. She had recently transitioned, and when we were drinking beer and eating bbq with alums outside in a very cold tent I said something about being cold, and then added "I guess I'm just not as a much of a man as I used to be" entirely cluelessly (a phrase I'd uttered a bunch as I aged in the early 90s). She just smiled and said there was a lot of that going around recently, which helped me feel less like an ass.
This is the way woke culture makes the only safe choice be to have minimal interaction with anyone other than close friends and family members. It's why many male managers have decided to never mentor female subordinates. When innocent actions that no-one in a previous generation would have seen as offensive can now have serious consequences, the prudent person just avoids any contact that isn't specifically necessary and directed to a very utilitarian purpose.
the DEI department in my other school (not the one where this is happening) has training on how to correctly apologize for microagressive speech or some such. I've seen descriptions on their webpage, but I haven't taken any of this training. Soon it will be mandatory so I may have something to report.
I don't have to (get to) mentor, as an adjunct.
[redacted]
ETA:
I know these two students pretty well and I had a feeling this was coming. I'm not too worried about getting along with them. I think we have a good relationship. I don't consider these situations to be particularly happy or healthy, but I am able to lay that aside and handle my work responsibility.
How I feel about professors and others who want to queer up our population from grade school on up is another story from these students that I like. These older activists are not my favorite people. But I did come here with a couple specific questions. so thanks for the replies so far.
marshwiggle: it was no big deal because my colleague knew me and trusted me as a friend. I merely suggested a preemptive apology for using the previous name by accident; the student(s) might not have had that relationship with mahaggony. That can be a much bigger deal than a remark such as mine, especially if coming from a professor with an agenda.
You must be used to hanging out with tenured people. We don't have agendas and we barely have personalities.
Marshy I didn't want to cut you off if you have a comment.
[double]
OK, I appreciate the suggestion about the preemptive apology. Perhaps I'll use. It can't hurt.
There is no reason to make an announcement or preemptive apology or introductions. Just teach the class and call on the student by whatever name is in the class roster (if they want you to call them something different then they'll let you know).
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on September 10, 2022, 06:05:37 PM
There is no reason to make an announcement or preemptive apology or introductions. Just teach the class and call on the student by whatever name is in the class roster (if they want you to call them something different then they'll let you know).
Wonder what the dean or chair would say.
Quote from: mahagonny on September 10, 2022, 06:44:30 PM
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on September 10, 2022, 06:05:37 PM
There is no reason to make an announcement or preemptive apology or introductions. Just teach the class and call on the student by whatever name is in the class roster (if they want you to call them something different then they'll let you know).
Wonder what the dean or chair would say.
Mine would not care or have anything to say. Why is it their concern? If anything, they would wonder why you are involving yourself students' personal lives. You are the professor and your job is to teach the class.
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on September 10, 2022, 06:53:15 PM
Quote from: mahagonny on September 10, 2022, 06:44:30 PM
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on September 10, 2022, 06:05:37 PM
There is no reason to make an announcement or preemptive apology or introductions. Just teach the class and call on the student by whatever name is in the class roster (if they want you to call them something different then they'll let you know).
Wonder what the dean or chair would say.
Mine would not care or have anything to say. Why is it their concern? If anything, they would wonder why you are involving yourself students' personal lives. You are the professor and your job is to teach the class.
that was my initial take, but...
It can be their concern because it gives them a chance to see that adjunct faculty are observing students and caring about them over a period of semesters, despite the extremely temporary nature of the employment.
From my perspective chairs can be quite different from each other. One decided to invite adjuncts faculty to all regular faculty meetings. Another never sent a single group communication to us during her three year term. It feels very different.
Quote
marshwiggle: it was no big deal because my colleague knew me and trusted me as a friend. I merely suggested a preemptive apology for using the previous name by accident; the student(s) might not have had that relationship with mahaggony. That can be a much bigger deal than a remark such as mine, especially if coming from a professor with an agenda.
I think I see what you mean here. 'Having an agenda' would be, for example, believing that a man really cannot change himself into a woman. But as think I posted, one should is probably able to separate their beliefs about something like that from what the job asked them to do.
error, sorry
Quote from: mahagonny on September 11, 2022, 04:46:05 AM
error, sorry
Stay out of it, Mahag, for your own good and theirs. Let students live their lives. You teach.
Quote from: Wahoo Redux on September 11, 2022, 10:25:41 AM
Quote from: mahagonny on September 11, 2022, 04:46:05 AM
error, sorry
Stay out of it, Mahag, for your own good and theirs. Let students live their lives. You teach.
Yes, you've read my sentiment correctly. I wanted to disrupt their lives, but fortunately, I checked in here first, so I won't.
It did cross my mind that by my announcing my non-binary gender status, I might be be thought of as an approachable friend. Not a buddy, because we are teacher /student, but a friend. but, no need of that. There are other folks in our vicinity to support these two students, and I like them very much, so I would be happy to see that, or be confident that it's going on.
I don't need the ego boost of being directly involved. I am too fine a person for that.
Ahem...ha ha ..... thanks for taking the time folks. (Feeling the love.)