The concern is that one's identity is disclosed without the forumite's permission. This is an anonymous forum, so the expectation is that the moderators would remove all identifying information if such information were posted by someone other than the forumite.
As for the forumite whose identity was revealed by her son, I recall that the forumite would post rather negative comments about the son. It wasn't clear from the son's posts if he had read those comments, but this again would be a good reason not to out deceased forumites to their families or colleagues.
Let's not get paranoid or self-important.
Forumites who expect their identities to be kept confidential are neither paranoid or self-important, but are merely pointing out that
The Fora claims to be an anonymous forum and as such there is an expectation of privacy.