Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[the_geneticist]

I had to add the phrase "teach your assigned sections in person in the assigned classroom" to the TA contract.
Why?
I had a grad student ask if they could record their first discussion section and post the recording for their other sections. 
No.
Just no.

[ergative]

It's not quite late enough in the semester to respond to queries with 'See Friday email'.

Why?  I start those responses in week 1.

Because they are baby, and underneath my curmudgeonly exterior I am made of marshmallow fluff.

[FishProf]

It's not quite late enough in the semester to respond to queries with 'See Friday email'.

Why?  I start those responses in week 1.

Because they are baby, and underneath my curmudgeonly exterior I am made of marshmallow fluff.

You made me LOL.  And AWWW.

[Langue_doc]

The fourth instance of plagiarism from Stu in just two weeks reminded me of these lines from Invictus:

Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

[Puget]

Two-thirds of the way through the semester, a student in *developmental* psychology wants to know if she has to learn the ages at which can do different things for the second exam. I'm honestly rather confused about how the answer to that could not be self-evident.

[mamselle]

Piaget would say s/he hasn't gotten into the hypothetical-deductive thinking phase, I suspect....

M.

[arcturus]

I cannot find a polite/professional way to say to a student: you need to create a time machine so that you can go back to the beginning of the semester and put sufficient time into this class so that you master the material in weeks 1-4. Without that background, there is no way for you to even understand what we are talking about now, because you do not have the basic vocabulary.

[ergative]

I have a student who's 'not in the right headspace' to do the assignment that is due tomorrow. Fortunately I have 0 control over the late submission penalty or extension policy, so I don't even have to think about his headspace. Policy is policy.

[Langue_doc]

I cannot find a polite/professional way to say to a student: you need to create a time machine so that you can go back to the beginning of the semester and put sufficient time into this class so that you master the material in weeks 1-4. Without that background, there is no way for you to even understand what we are talking about now, because you do not have the basic vocabulary.

Let me know the magic words. I have at least three students who need to hear this.

[the_geneticist]

I have a student who's 'not in the right headspace' to do the assignment that is due tomorrow. Fortunately I have 0 control over the late submission penalty or extension policy, so I don't even have to think about his headspace. Policy is policy.

Hmm, either the assignment is so minor it won't matter if they do a not-that-great of a job OR it is a major assignment and they are so far behind they probably won't finish.  I'd tell them "Look at the late penalty and decide if it's best to just turn in what you have".

[ergative]

I have a student who's 'not in the right headspace' to do the assignment that is due tomorrow. Fortunately I have 0 control over the late submission penalty or extension policy, so I don't even have to think about his headspace. Policy is policy.

Hmm, either the assignment is so minor it won't matter if they do a not-that-great of a job OR it is a major assignment and they are so far behind they probably won't finish.  I'd tell them "Look at the late penalty and decide if it's best to just turn in what you have".

Fortunately it is the former--only 10%. He can eat a 0 and still pass easily. Very low-stress, at least on my end.

[arcturus]

<<This is related to above, but different students.>>

Dear slacker: it does not surprise me that <your computer crashed> <your best friend is sick> <you are in the hospital> as it was evident that you were not working on the final project throughout the semester, as was recommended/required. Indeed, your request (demand) for an extension was entirely predictable. However, course policies are clear and apply to everyone. While I am sorry to hear about your challenges, I will not arbitrarily give you more time to complete the project, particularly in consideration of fairness to the other 100+ students in this class who have completed the work on time (or in advance).

[paddington_bear]

These papers are terrible! Awful! I've had a temporary admin position for the past two years so I was only teaching one class per semester. And I almost never had first-year students the past two years. These papers in a class of almost all first-year students are awful! There paragraphs are multiple pages long. They have no thesis.  The students still have their final project in this class. I'm thinking of just making the final assignment be a re-write of this paper. But what about the few who received an A (or a B)? Should I ask them to re-write the paper too? There doesn't seem to be a point in that.  Should I give them a separate assignment? That doesn't seem to be right either. Should I just say that those who did poorly (below a....C?) can re-write this paper and everyone else just has to finish the semester and they don't have a final assignment? Or should I just keep plowing through the semester as planned? Ugh. They're terrible!

[mamselle]

You could say, "Everyone over a C, email me."

Then you email them back and tell them they're home free, but not to tell anyone else...

M.

[lightning]

I'm old enough to remember a few college courses where there would be one big test during finals week and that was most of your grade for the semester (with no freebie points for attendance throughout the semester because attendance was not mandatory).

I'm not allowed to do all-or-nothing, today, of course.

However, with all these students constantly badgering me for multiple extensions after extensions on assignments and rescheduling of tests for tests originally scheduled to be spread out throughout the semester, I'm tempted to tell them that they all get an extension on everything until the end of the semester, and they can take all their tests at the end of the semester. There is just one big deadline at the end of the course where you have to turn everything in and all the tests are taken at once at the end of the semester. I mean, that is what they want, isn't it? When they ask for deferment after deferment, eventually it all comes due at the same time at the end of the semester.

I actually did do that once, when too many students kept asking me to move deadlines later into the semester. Students were pissed, but I sure got my point across.