I feel sooo uncomfortable everytime I see her social media posts. I have nothing against women body positivity, far from it. But she's a first time instructor this term, can easily be found her social media by name, and yet, she posts pictures of herself in underwear (and has even posted some of the tools she uses to masterbate on social media many months ago).
I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries. This will become a topic of discussion that will distract from her actual intelligence and brillance in a university context, I even fear she may get fired by the university.
I am not close friends with her, but I genuinely feel it's incredibly risky and not professional to do that online. Especially if she doesn't have a private account to do that with a pseudonyn (and even then, she could easily be found).
If she was a close friend, it would be a different story and I would've told her right away that it's not a good idea to do that. But how do you do that without body-shaming someone or without being sexist to an almost stranger? I'm scared to be called out if I even attempt to kindly tell her it's risky to do that.
Unless you are a really, really, really, really close friend, leave this one lie. Something's not right upstairs. Better just to be like Sergeant Shultz on Hogan's Heroes. "I see noooothing! I know nooooothing!"
Quote from: Wahoo Redux on September 06, 2020, 04:12:45 PM
Unless you are a really, really, really, really close friend, leave this one lie. Something's not right upstairs. Better just to be like Sergeant Shultz on Hogan's Heroes. "I see noooothing! I know nooooothing!"
Agreed. She knows. She's an adult.
I think you're both right. So uncomfortable to see. I cringe everytime I see her social media posts. And yes, I do think she knows better. She's definetly asking for trouble...
If she's not a close friend, then stop looking at her posts. You know they are cringeworthy. Run away.
Quote from: Ruralguy on September 06, 2020, 04:26:59 PM
If she's not a close friend, then stop looking at her posts. You know they are cringeworthy. Run away.
This. Good choices are either you tell her about professionalism to help a colleague or you distance yourself from the whole situation.
Mute your "following" options for her, and stop spending time on social media.
M.
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 03:56:16 PM
I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries.
I guess it might, but it shouldn't. It certainly isn't wise, but is it really objectionable? Why is this worse, for example, than posting about feuds with family members? Unless you're teaching at a very conservative religious school or something, I can't imagine it would threaten her job, at least not immediately. Any school that fired a professor just for posting underwear pictures would be courting a lawsuit.
Quote from: Ruralguy on September 06, 2020, 04:26:59 PM
If she's not a close friend, then stop looking at her posts. You know they are cringeworthy. Run away.
I don't specifically look at her posts. They appear on my feed every now and then. I think I will use the option of "muting" them while not unfriending her entirely.
Quote from: mamselle on September 06, 2020, 05:28:14 PM
Mute your "following" options for her, and stop spending time on social media.
M.
I am not always on social media just to be clear. But yes, I will mute the following option. I jump every time I see her posts, I don't understand how she can see that it's not something she should be doing because of her work position. She's been posting these stuff for multiple months. And I share my profound discomfort here, because I don't want to share it with people who actually know her or who may know her because that would be unprofessional on my part. I prefer pretending I've seen nothing.
Quote from: Caracal on September 06, 2020, 06:31:20 PM
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 03:56:16 PM
I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries.
I guess it might, but it shouldn't. It certainly isn't wise, but is it really objectionable? Why is this worse, for example, than posting about feuds with family members? Unless you're teaching at a very conservative religious school or something, I can't imagine it would threaten her job, at least not immediately. Any school that fired a professor just for posting underwear pictures would be courting a lawsuit.
What I am saying is that it will make people talk. And she will lose control of her classroom as well. I just feel it's asking for trouble, even though it is technically not illegal.
Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 06:35:51 PM
Quote from: Caracal on September 06, 2020, 06:31:20 PM
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 03:56:16 PM
I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries.
I guess it might, but it shouldn't. It certainly isn't wise, but is it really objectionable? Why is this worse, for example, than posting about feuds with family members? Unless you're teaching at a very conservative religious school or something, I can't imagine it would threaten her job, at least not immediately. Any school that fired a professor just for posting underwear pictures would be courting a lawsuit.
What I am saying is that it will make people talk. And she will lose control of her classroom as well. I just feel it's asking for trouble, even though it is technically not illegal.
Not remotely illegal, and I very much doubt it is against any university rule. If she's not making these posts public and friending students, it would be pretty unlikely that students would ever see the pictures. Even if they did, you seem to be making some gendered assumptions. If someone sees a picture of their professor in underwear, that means she can't effectively run the classroom? I agree with you that it is TMI and not a good idea. But I think that about the way lots of people use social media.
Also wait, is this a grad student?
Quote from: spork on September 06, 2020, 06:43:56 PM
Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.
To be honest, I am absolutely not obssessing about her. Like I have mentionned, those posts appear on my feed every now and then and have been for multiple months. This is someone that I know and have met on multiple occasions in a professional capacity.
To say that I am not working on my career is the most ridiculous thing ever.
Quote from: Caracal on September 06, 2020, 06:52:08 PM
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 06:35:51 PM
Quote from: Caracal on September 06, 2020, 06:31:20 PM
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 03:56:16 PM
I am assuming someone has told her. I really hope someone did. Trully, she can't do that while being a professor or intrucctor. It will ruin her career. I don't understand how she doesn't have these professional boundaries.
I guess it might, but it shouldn't. It certainly isn't wise, but is it really objectionable? Why is this worse, for example, than posting about feuds with family members? Unless you're teaching at a very conservative religious school or something, I can't imagine it would threaten her job, at least not immediately. Any school that fired a professor just for posting underwear pictures would be courting a lawsuit.
What I am saying is that it will make people talk. And she will lose control of her classroom as well. I just feel it's asking for trouble, even though it is technically not illegal.
Not remotely illegal, and I very much doubt it is against any university rule. If she's not making these posts public and friending students, it would be pretty unlikely that students would ever see the pictures. Even if they did, you seem to be making some gendered assumptions. If someone sees a picture of their professor in underwear, that means she can't effectively run the classroom? I agree with you that it is TMI and not a good idea. But I think that about the way lots of people use social media.
They are public. That's the point. :/ They are so public that I could easily imagine a journalist a local newspaper article being written about this at one point in her career.
I am not saying that she can't effectively run the classroom. I am saying that it will create debates about it that are non-necessary...that's the nuance I want to make.
This is someone that I do know, not on a deep level, but I do know her and that's why I am FB friends with her. I won't go into other details about her for confidentiality purposes, but she can be found extremely easily on social media. Even though she doesn't get fired or anything like that, I think there will be subtle ways that people in authority at university will let her own that this behavior will not be welcomed. she's not a full professor, but a grad student, which makes it even more easier for university admins to just toss her out directly or undirectly
Quote from: Caracal on September 06, 2020, 06:55:05 PM
Also wait, is this a grad student?
Yes
I won't tell her what I think about this because it is none of my business. But I'm sure someone will or has already.
Probably good advice has been offered here, unless, of course, there is significant evidence she is sending these pics to students. Then?
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 07:35:06 PM
They are public. That's the point. :/ They are so public that I could easily imagine a journalist a local newspaper article being written about this at one point in her career.
Even though she doesn't get fired or anything like that, I think there will be subtle ways that people in authority at university will let her own that this behavior will not be welcomed. she's not a full professor, but a grad student, which makes it even more easier for university admins to just toss her out directly or undirectly
Unless your school is extremely unusual, university admins are completely uninterested in pictures that grad students post of themselves on social media as long as there's nothing illegal in them. This is a thing that other grad students gossip about. It isn't interesting to anyone else. You're overestimating the professional consequences. This might reflect a more general lack of judgement, but some not particularly scandalous pictures on facebook in grad school are not going to dog someone's professional life if they get that off of social media before they go on the market. I still can't figure out from your description if they are really "public" in the sense that anyone, not just friends, can see them.
Are these undergarments more revealing than what is available on TikTok? (however you spell it). IF the bikinis in TikTok are more revealing, then leave it be (and if it is, there is nothing good that can come from you saying anything).
Be less worried about the grad student's future career and more worried about any complaints that your ogling the pictures will cause if the grad student decides to complain about anything YOU say!!
Perhaps the OP would be better off putting the social media away and not looking at grad students in their underwear (not to mention the many posts here today).
IF the OP wants to enjoy the view, then go ahead, but dont brag about your good fortune to the rest of us! "The first rule of Fight Club is dont talk about Fight Club!"
Quotewithout being sexist to an almost stranger
Why are you even social media friends? Unfriend and be done with it. What are the repercussions for unfriending "an almost stranger"?
What are the risks of keeping her on your list? Seems that one is bigger than the other to me, but not my call!!
Since this is happening on FB and these posts just "come across your feed" every so often, is it because she uses a public setting for her posts? Because if that is the case, then you could message her and ask her if she knows that these posts are public. Some people don't understand the settings.
But if these are private posts and you don't feel comfortable commenting to someone about their private posts on FB, then perhaps you should be more discriminating about who are your FB friends.
This would not cause anyone to bat an eye at my school. Personal life, as long as it's legal and not harming other people, is personal.
This level of worry about what someone else posts comes across really, really puritanical. And honestly, given the genders involved, more than a little sexist. It takes me to the recent JAMA article looking at social media of residents that was broadly panned and led to quite a few prominent med school faculty / surgeons posting social media pictures of themselves in bikinis / underwear in protest.
If it was a guy posting pictures in shorts and shirtless working out, no one would accuse the dude of "putting their career at risk", or "being unable to run a classroom", or "being found by a journalist and written about".
Ditto posting things talking about sex toys. Maybe if you're at an ultra-religious school this would be an issue?
I'm actually not surprised to hear this at all, having experienced it with younger women I have had to mentor in the workplace. Forget recreational social media, I've seen younger female colleagues post things that are way overboard on professional sites such as linkedin.
Women who are sharing (or oversharing) on social media are often given an "attagirl" for doing so, while anyone who raises an eyebrow is "slut shaming" or "enforcing a double standard." This may or may not be true, but it still doesn't mean that publicly documenting your private life will not be a career limiting move.
Either way, males have been told not to have an opinion on it one way or the other so we just stay silent and avoid promoting you to the next role if coming into the office as if it's a nightclub or discussing the acrobatics of last night's conquest. Just because you get reinforcement online or with the sewing circle doesn't mean the workplace isn't a more conservative and/or judgemental environment, regardless of if you think this should be the case. It's not even a gender issue. Someone who's very prominent in my field just lost a couple BILLION dollars that were pulled from his firm after making an overly boorish public comment at a conference that is not even remotely close to what you've described.
Quote from: eigen on September 07, 2020, 02:04:11 AM
If it was a guy posting pictures in shorts and shirtless working out, no one would accuse the dude of "putting their career at risk", or "being unable to run a classroom", or "being found by a journalist and written about".
I would say the same things if it was a man, believe me.
I am not saying that I AGREE that these things should happen, but it will cause discussion around these aspects and in her work setting. What I am saying is that WE DO live in a sexist world where there ARE double standards (I am a woman btw). That's why I am worried. There is a nuance here that I cannot express in written format, I don't understand why I am being so misunderstood. I am all for free and liberated women, but in the context of academia and the world we live in, she will get into trouble that she does not deserve :/ Since I know other things about her that I won't disclose here, I do believe it.
As a note, I am very surprised that I am being accused of not focusing on my career - which is far from true - just because I did a post here about something like this that is totally related to a question in academia.
Quote from: clean on September 06, 2020, 09:14:42 PM
Quotewithout being sexist to an almost stranger
Why are you even social media friends? Unfriend and be done with it. What are the repercussions for unfriending "an almost stranger"?
What are the risks of keeping her on your list? Seems that one is bigger than the other to me, but not my call!!
Because I have worked with her on multiple occasions that's it. Not a close friend, but will probably hurt her feelings if I delete her. I will just mute her without deleting her.I did not know FB had that function. Problem solved.
Quote from: Dismal on September 06, 2020, 09:49:30 PM
Since this is happening on FB and these posts just "come across your feed" every so often, is it because she uses a public setting for her posts? Because if that is the case, then you could message her and ask her if she knows that these posts are public. Some people don't understand the settings.
But if these are private posts and you don't feel comfortable commenting to someone about their private posts on FB, then perhaps you should be more discriminating about who are your FB friends.
They are public and she knows they are public
I have a lot of FB friends because of the role I have been taking in my field, that is why, my profile is more public than a personal account in some ways
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 07:34:40 PM
Quote from: spork on September 06, 2020, 06:43:56 PM
Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.
To be honest, I am absolutely not obssessing about her. Like I have mentionned, those posts appear on my feed every now and then and have been for multiple months. This is someone that I know and have met on multiple occasions in a professional capacity.
To say that I am not working on my career is the most ridiculous thing ever.
Maybe you should offer her money to stop posting such embarrassing photos. Or store them in a file folder on a university-owned computer for later use.
Quote from: spork on September 07, 2020, 02:39:55 AM
Quote from: adel9216 on September 06, 2020, 07:34:40 PM
Quote from: spork on September 06, 2020, 06:43:56 PM
Spend less time obsessing about this person's social media feeds and more time working on your own career.
To be honest, I am absolutely not obssessing about her. Like I have mentionned, those posts appear on my feed every now and then and have been for multiple months. This is someone that I know and have met on multiple occasions in a professional capacity.
To say that I am not working on my career is the most ridiculous thing ever.
Maybe you should offer her money to stop posting such embarrassing photos. Or store them in a file folder on a university-owned computer for later use.
is this meant to be a joke ?
Quote from: clean on September 06, 2020, 09:11:43 PM
Are these undergarments more revealing than what is available on TikTok?
Yes
Quote from: adel9216 on September 07, 2020, 02:36:09 AM
I am not saying that I AGREE that these things should happen, but it will cause discussion around these aspects and in her work setting. What I am saying is that WE DO live in a sexist world where there ARE double standards (I am a woman btw). That's why I am worried. There is a nuance here that I cannot express in written format, I don't understand why I am being so misunderstood. I am all for free and liberated women, but in the context of academia and the world we live in, she will get into trouble that she does not deserve :/ Since I know other things about her that I won't disclose here, I do believe it.
The disconnect is that your perception of the seriousness of the situation seems wildly off base. I can list on one hand the things a grad student could post on facebook that would actually get them in trouble. (Personal information about students, sexual pictures of people under 18, wildly offensive racial content) Grad students aren't faculty members and don't face the same level of scrutiny and judgement. You're right about double standards and all the rest, but this isn't a situation where someone is dynamiting their professional life and you need to worry about it. Just roll your eyes and move along.
Adel,
What do you want from us? You've already gotten the agreed upon actions of ignore, disengage, or have a private conversation about professionalism if you care that much about this person's career.
We're not all going to agree with you and that's just how it is.
You've already spent more time here arguing why you're right than any of the actions require.
Let this be and go do any of the things that will help you make progress on your PhD or any of the other professionally-related actions about which you've asked us. I guarantee you that people are discussing your actions as posted on social media here.
I got the answers I needed. I wanted to know if I had to tell her. The short answer is no.
So let's move on. I am on vacation and am allow to spend my vacation time as I wish. That does not mean that I am not working on my research. Again, assumptions. No one should work 24/7...
Thanks everyone for the input
Well, isolating this to just the questions regarding your friend, I'd have recommended moving on from the beginning. I have to admit I have a bit of libertarianism in me, and just want to let adults be. She might be hurting herself a bit, but that's really her problem. I doubt very many students, if any, or administrators, are getting worked up over it, even if they know.
On a similar-ish note, I have a colleague who posts links from her official professor account to some very controversial websites about an issue on which she is very politically active.
These websites are not in her field of study. They clearly take a position that might make some students feel discriminated against for their religion or nationality.
She says that this has nothing to do with the students themselves. It is about actions that a particular government has taken which she vehemently opposes. She says students are welcome to ask her for clarification on her position if they are concerned about her opinions of them. She believes she is very "approachable" and students have never commented to her.
Other faculty have taken offense and asked her to take these links down, but to no avail. Other faculty claim to have received emails from students concerned about how they will be treated by her in their class, but she claims these are "hoaxes" because the faculty "won't name names."
I don't disagree with anyone on this issue. She has a right to post information she believes is important. I believe in her heart of hearts she means well and would not discriminate against a student. Her colleagues and students have a right to disagree with her politically. And, they can be concerned that her stance is so strong it might color her perceptions of them, individually.
But at least she doesn't post pix of herself in her underwear.
Quote from: Ruralguy on September 07, 2020, 08:02:11 AM
Well, isolating this to just the questions regarding your friend, I'd have recommended moving on from the beginning. I have to admit I have a bit of libertarianism in me, and just want to let adults be. She might be hurting herself a bit, but that's really her problem. I doubt very many students, if any, or administrators, are getting worked up over it, even if they know.
I wonder, and worry a great deal, that we as a society are becoming increasingly censorious.
There are valid reasons for censoring what we say and share (violence towards women, racism, etc.), particularly in the workplace, but we are also in danger of shuttering our expression.
Prudishness and censorship were, among other things, reasons for the great hippy turmoil of the '60s and 70s.
Quote from: Wahoo Redux on September 07, 2020, 09:23:19 AM
I wonder, and worry a great deal, that we as a society are becoming increasingly censorious.
Becoming? Where have you been for the past N centuries?
The problem I see is that broader audiences and real diversity of voices collide with the need for healthy organizations to have agreement on the big picture.
You only need rules to prevent people from doing things they want to do that the group doesn't want done. One way to tell who is really part of the group and who is not part of the group involves watching who keeps running afoul of the rules and therefore wants the rules changed and who works well within the current structure and sees no need for changes to the rules. Someone who reports every tiny details that is overruled at the decision-maker level also isn't part of the group in terms of power and acceptance by other group members.
I bet folding money that anyone like ciao_all's colleague who is an activist will indeed treat students differently if those students have the 'wrong' views. I've had to sit on multiple committees investigating student complaints on that very topic. Those situations happen enough to give academics as a whole a bad reputation for doing that very thing.
It's pretty entertaining to watch political commercials that are nationally funded that completely biff on message to the locals in any large group. Yep, the really liberal liberals love the incumbent and the really conservative conservatives love the incumbent because the incumbent has indeed delivered for the district.
Trying to paint the candidates as being on the wrong national team misses our local reality and thus actually hurts the other candidate. I don't know if that's the intent of the ads by the outside groups, but that's the result every bit as much as the year the national ad company featured a saguaro* in the New Mexico contest.
* New Mexico does not have saguaros, that's Arizona and Nevada.
Thank you, Polly. You are soooooo insightful and experienced. So many stories----You really worked in a place with truly awful, evil faculty. At one time or another you have investigated virtually every evil thing a faculty could do. How interesting.
Quote from: Wahoo Redux on September 07, 2020, 11:29:29 AM
Thank you, Polly. You are soooooo insightful and experienced. So many stories----You really worked in a place with truly awful, evil faculty. At one time or another you have investigated virtually every evil thing a faculty could do. How interesting.
It is pretty interesting how many faculty insist that certain things never happen and yet I've encountered more than one case in all of them in under twenty years of experience.
It's almost like some folks have a distinct lack of experience by being just teachers in college with minimal experience in the glorious whole of academic experience.
Sure. But most "just teachers" are lifetime adjuncts, many of whom know a good deal more than you seem to give them credit for, unlike those of us who have been involved with the life of the university, like you and me, Polly. Nice try.
And this is pretty funny, "You only need rules to prevent people from doing things they want to do that the group doesn't want done," followed by "I bet folding money that anyone like ciao_all's colleague who is an activist will indeed treat students differently if those students have the 'wrong' views."
Hmmmm. Where do you fit in that paradigm, Polly?
Actually, the main problem with Ciao's friend is that she's doing this from a college computer. At my school, that would probably violate some policies even if the views were tame. I would lean towards supporting her right to post such things so long as they didn't violate college computer use policies. If they do, she has to switch to her own computer or a Wordpress site or something. Even then, I suppose anybody could cross a line. Also, she must realize that certain political views are so controversial that its just too difficult for the two parties on either side of the issues to think impartially.
So, without saying that either woman should stop what they are doing (the revealing pictures woman or the political firebrand woman), they are engaging in risky behavior that might eventually cross a line that could get them in real trouble. Are they already there? I can't say. Probably not, although they obviously are getting attention.
Quote from: polly_mer on September 07, 2020, 11:19:02 AM
The problem I see is that broader audiences and real diversity of voices collide with the need for healthy organizations to have agreement on the big picture.
Why is that a problem?
Broader audiences and diversity create a need to develop agreement. Because sometimes there are disagreements. Because... diversity.
Quote
You only need rules to prevent people from doing things they want to do that the group power structure doesn't want done. One way to tell who is really part of the group power structure and who is not part of the group power structure involves watching who keeps running afoul of the rules and therefore wants the rules changed and who works well within the current structure and sees no need for changes to the rules. Someone who reports every tiny details that is overruled at the decision-maker level also isn't part of the group power structure in terms of power and acceptance by other group power structure members. Marginalization, discrimination, and oppression are ways of saying that someone's feelings, opinions, and voice don't matter.
Isn't everyone a part of the group? Your para makes more sense with the edits above.
Quote
The problem I see is that broader audiences and real diversity of voices collide with the need for healthy organizations to have agreement on the big picture.
So, we negotiate. What is the "big picture?" Who is harmed or offended by leaving content up versus removing it? What are alternatives to the current state that has someone concerned?
Raise your brow; roll your eyes; move on.
Were they nice undies?
Undies schumdies
At least she's not done anything truly unforgivable like pretending she's a POC from which there is just no coming back.
Quote from: secundem_artem on September 07, 2020, 04:35:07 PM
Undies schumdies
At least she's not done anything truly unforgivable like pretending she's a POC from which there is just no coming back.
I suppose we could blame her if her undies helped her get one of the coveted TT jobs in academia which relates to her undergarment expertise and her lived experience as an underwear-wearer.
OP, I'm sorry that you're getting all this finger wagging. I'm assuming you genuinely are concerned for her and mean well. If that's the case, this absolutely will bite her. No, the college isn't going to kick her out or defund her, but how people view you is important, and your hunch is correct that many people will not take her seriously because of this; many of those people would never even admit that if pressed, but will simply deny her opportunities for other perceived reasons.
But what everyone IS correct about is that you can't say anything about this and it's not your place. She'll learn eventually, or she'll get lucky and it'll never become an issue.
Quote from: Descartes on September 12, 2020, 11:46:05 AM
OP, I'm sorry that you're getting all this finger wagging. I'm assuming you genuinely are concerned for her and mean well. If that's the case, this absolutely will bite her. No, the college isn't going to kick her out or defund her, but how people view you is important, and your hunch is correct that many people will not take her seriously because of this; many of those people would never even admit that if pressed, but will simply deny her opportunities for other perceived reasons.
But what everyone IS correct about is that you can't say anything about this and it's not your place. She'll learn eventually, or she'll get lucky and it'll never become an issue.
Well, grad school is about professionalization. Part of that is about learning how to put up some boundaries between your professional and personal lives. If posting slightly racy pictures is important in some way to her, she might just realize that she should put them on Instagram and keep the professional contacts out of there.
Quote from: Caracal on September 12, 2020, 12:19:53 PM
Quote from: Descartes on September 12, 2020, 11:46:05 AM
OP, I'm sorry that you're getting all this finger wagging. I'm assuming you genuinely are concerned for her and mean well. If that's the case, this absolutely will bite her. No, the college isn't going to kick her out or defund her, but how people view you is important, and your hunch is correct that many people will not take her seriously because of this; many of those people would never even admit that if pressed, but will simply deny her opportunities for other perceived reasons.
But what everyone IS correct about is that you can't say anything about this and it's not your place. She'll learn eventually, or she'll get lucky and it'll never become an issue.
Well, grad school is about professionalization. Part of that is about learning how to put up some boundaries between your professional and personal lives. If posting slightly racy pictures is important in some way to her, she might just realize that she should put them on Instagram and keep the professional contacts out of there.
Yep. I agree completely.
Sometimes you just keep walking.