Welcome to the new (and now only) Fora!
Started by mamselle, February 02, 2020, 10:56:24 AM
Quote from: smallcleanrat on February 03, 2020, 02:47:21 PMThanks for starting this thread, mamselle.For context, this is the post on the venting thread that led to the creation of this thread: https://thefora.org/index.php?topic=64.msg19955#msg19955I'm so overwhelmed trying to keep all my plates spinning: class, lab, quals preparation, physical therapy, significant other, doctor visits. My doctors want me to start an intensive outpatient psych program (10-20hr/week) because of frequent suicidal/self-harm urges, but I look at the calendar and don't see how I can possibly do it. I could theoretically work later into the night and work more on the weekends to get everything done, but realistically, I know I wouldn't have the stamina. Current strategy: grit teeth and power through until I get past immediate upcoming academic hurdles, thus freeing up more time to focus on getting treatment. I'm almost done with the non-research requirements for my doctoral program: complete one more course, TA one more term, complete oral quals. If I stay on course, I'll be in the sweet land of full-time research (and a more flexible schedule) by the summer. It seems so close, and yet, so far...
Quote from: Parasaurolophus on February 03, 2020, 02:52:08 PMFWIW, three of the women I went to grad school with have CFS. Well, three as far as I know.They've had a devil of a time getting taken seriously, both by medical professionals and by the people around them. It sounds absolutely debilitating and awful, and I'm horrified by how quickly it's laid low three exceptional scholars, to the point where two have left academia entirely and the third is plotting exit strategies, because maintaining a regular teaching load just isn't possible.So, although I have nothing much to contribute to this thread beyond hearing and believing you (and them), and checking my own behaviour, I'll be following the thread with interest.Yours in solidarity,-Para
Quote from: backatit on February 05, 2020, 04:41:58 AMThanks for starting this; I finally read on the venting thread what you did, mamselle, and I'm sorry. My daughter did that same break trail running, and it sucks. The problem is that you rarely do it without a concurrent sprain, and that takes longer to heal (the force required to break that bone usually comes with enough force to also torque the tendons). Anyway, speedy healing to you. She was crutching it pretty quickly and convinced them to give her a walking boot, which probably wasn't the best solution long-term, but she had an active job working with dogs at the time and couldn't be off her feet for that long (go American working environment!).Anyway, for those of us dealing with chronic conditions, which I have for many years, there seems to be a cycle. I am better for a while, then I have a cycle of bad times (I'm currently in a really good phase; when you saw me, mamselle, I was in a medium-good part of the cycle, but I'm doing pretty fantastic in terms of self-care and feeling good right now, so I'm wondering when the crash will come :D). When my pain levels and exhaustion are high, I feel like I am dragging through my days, and I don't usually have the feeling that any good spell will come back. Mine is chronic thyroid issues that they can't seem to get a handle on (I have a decent endocrinologist but in spite of regular changes to my dosage and being on brand-name synthroid, I can't seem to get a steady dosage - it seems like every 3 months they change my dose). I've tried cytomel to add T3 but it makes me feel even worse. Right now, though, I think they've gotten it dialed in, and it'll be good till I start having heart palpitations from it being too high :D.I also have RA, and I think the current "good spell" comes from a combination of the synthroid dose being ok with a remission period. I took methotrexate when I was first diagnosed, and that was a really rough period (plus I was writing my dissertation, it was in my hands, and I had to get accommodation to take my Qualifying exams; that sucked). But that seems to be stable now, although my hands look...interesting. I use a Mac keyboard which is soft, but I'm looking into virtual keyboards for an even better experience. This has definitely cut into my research, though - I've focused on more teaching-centered positions because they involve less writing. Anyway, that's my story; my university has been pretty accommodating. I teach fully online (I use a lot of voice to text and video feedback methods to reduce my typing loads, and the students like that) so I don't have to go in as often, which is really splendid of them.
Quote from: Anselm on February 05, 2020, 07:54:20 AMDo you have the option of paid leave for medical reasons?
Quote from: AmLitHist on February 13, 2020, 11:10:46 AMI stayed home today--a teaching day--even though I was really hoping to get through the spring without any sick days. After all the months of delay and drama over finally getting the ADA accommodation to a 2-day-F2F teachinig week, I can just imagine the nimrods in HR saying, "Wait! We gave you a shorter work week--why are you still taking sick days?!". (Then again, knowing said nimrods, they very well might not even notice until after I retire in a few years.)Kid #1 was finally diagnosed as bipolar recently (really? We've known this for years), but because of several severe concussions, so psych meds aren't a serious option. Long story short, she was great over the weekend, then yesterday showed up NOT good, at all. It's all resolved, and she's better now, but the stress put me over the edge. I was feeling like I'd been run down by a tank by 10 a.m., and it went downhill from there. After finally giving in and taking a pain pill at bedtime, there was no way I was going to try to get up--and drive an hour in to work hung-over and woozy--at 5 a.m. today.Oh, well, life will go on. Today was going to be an in-class read, analyze, and discuss day, and we can pick it up next week with no harm.Is anybody else dealing with S-I joint dysfunction? Mine is of the "sorry, you're kind of screwed" variety, as my ortho put it. PT makes it unbearable and isn't improving the function anyway; surgery will do more harm than good; and the $8000 "steroid shot under live CT" routine made it feel great--for about 3 hours--so no more of that for me, thanks. (Besides, I'm diabetic, and steroids shoot my blood sugar through the roof.) Pain management is pretty much what I have to look forward to, but I'm putting it off as long as possible, as I saw Mom through about 5 years of it--again, no, thank you. Any fellow SIJD people, feel free to PM me, for support and mutual sorrows.OK, I'll stop whining. Here's wishing everyone better days!
Quote from: smallcleanrat on February 21, 2020, 01:50:14 PMGoing to try to post here again when I can be more coherent, but had a therapist appointment today that left me feeling lower than dirt. Towards the end tears were rolling down my face and when she said she had to stop (even though we had started late and our allotted time wasn't over yet) I grabbed my stuff and bolted away so I could finish crying I the bathroom.Psychiatrist's office is still not very responsive about getting me an appointment time. I haven't had an appointment for over a month.I want help. I'm asking for help. But the people who want to help me don't know how and the people who should be helping me don't seem to hear me.