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the "things you wish you could say" thread

Started by archaeo42, May 30, 2019, 01:30:59 PM

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Sorry I didn't get a decision on your paper out today.  There was a bunch of little squirrels hanging out right outside my office window all afternoon, and, you see, my husband really likes squirrels for some reason because they are apparently rare here (or at least compared to the billion squirrels I am used to).  So, I had to keep taking pictures from this window or that all afternoon, whenever I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.  He could use some cheering up.


To library patron: Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!


Please don't tell me the score for today's quarterfinal match, especially if you waltzed out of work to watch the whole thing at a sports bar while I held down the fort.

What I did say: (I*#$#! I recorded it to watch when I get home.
One of the benefits of age is an enhanced ability not to say every stupid thing that crosses your mind. So there's that.


We're all in sales every day.  The fact that you don't want to accept that reality and want somehow for the magic of the universe to reward you means you probably need another read of the excellent Cracked article: (contains profanity and a NSFW video):

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?


"But the whole system is corrupt and on the verge of collapse, what difference does any of this make?" Friend, if the system falls apart, take everything I've said above and multiply it times a thousand. The person without skill and drive will not be given food. The new masters may fly the banner of equality, but you'll slowly notice that the talented and charismatic are still getting the best stuff. That won't change in your lifetime, or in the lifetimes of your great-grandchildren.
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!


Dear people in the neighborhood holding a loud party

It is past midnight. It is much too warm to sleep with the window closed. Please take the celebrations indoors. I'd even settle for you ceasing to sing loudly and very untunefully to the music you are blasting out.

I have to get up early tomorrow and have a long drive. My evil twin has already hatched a plan to ring your doorbell at 6 am tomorrow and run away.



Example NNNNNN of why I am not surprised your life isn't going as you would wish.  Have you considered perhaps learning from experience and advice from people who have succeeded instead of tripling down on the way things "should" be?
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!


What you are asking is both unethical and impossible, so no.  I'm not gonna.
I'd rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.


You suddenly realizing that you need DATA for your report, which is already past due, means you should politely ask your colleagues for the needed information, not demand a written summary.  And mentioning that it is late because "you were traveling" does not make me feel less grouchy at you.

AKA "Your failure to plan is not my emergency"


I wish you had asked me if the survey help desk was available until midnight in person. That way I could judge if you knew this question was as asinine as it is.
"The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."


Really. You really want to take over signing BS forms? Okay.

No, I don't feel like I lost any power. I gained a lot of free time. Have fun!


Screaming at your toddler for being loud is . . . hypocritical, don't you think?

<smiling, showing all my teeth at the neighbor in the mother-in-law suite literally next door>


Ugggghhhhhh. And no, I do not want to review your book manuscript draft when you finish it.
"The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."


Yes, we can ask each of the article authors to respond to that question within their pieces, but it's too limited and too limiting to make a whole issue about.

The content of the texts is certainly worth analyzing, but if that's all we do, it will leave out how the music functions, how it is different in different settings, how it speaks differently to different individuals, and how it draws people into the issue you want to get them to think about.

You can keep chopping at that one particular tree, sure.

But you'll lose the forest, for certain, if you do.

Because all the rest of the trees will tiptoe silently away and start singing someplace else....


Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.


Stepped in troll crap I did.  (Probably)


Long post detailing my last few months as I left academia. Ctrl+A and Backspace is all I have to say.