This has been such a tough year. I'm an assoc prof and department head, and one of our two admin staff died unexpectedly last fall. That person was responsible for both financial operations and the academics, a position that was not like that by design but just because of the way they came into the role. With the unexpected vacancy, our dean approved us to hire two people to separate those duties. By July we were up to full capacity, though both new people were learning. Unfortunately, the finance person never fully fledged and after a lengthy and involved process, I was finally able to let them go. A struggling employee takes a lot of work to support, so on one hand, this is a relief, but on the other hand, it now means several more months of continued workload demands to support the financial operations. On top of this, our department has two academic program reviews underway and were just assigned to have a department review this coming calendar year. I also am trying to stay on track to submit my dossier for promotion to full professor at the end of this year, so I've been traveling more for invited talks, trying to get more grants, and papers published and students finished. While I am not at a breaking point mentally or anything, my diet is shot to hell, I've gained weight, and I've lost energy for things that previously used to give me enjoyment (like cooking wonderful healthy meals at home and gardening). I remember thinking back in March that the workload and stress was too much, but continued to tell myself that I just had to make it another six months to get re-staffed and back to where we used to be. That didn't work out and six months later I find myself saying the same thing... just six more months.
I am getting support as much as is possible from our college business office and have some funds with which I can hire someone on a temporary basis to help with the program reviews, so I feel like the workload is managed as much as possible given the circumstances. Part of me is writing this as a means of venting to people who I think would understand. It's hard to feel good about my productivity when I'm constantly behind, which is probably one of the biggest contributors to my stress. But I also feel that learning how to mentally manage this stress is a skill worth developing and wonder if any of you have advice to share or experience with improving your own stress tolerance and management.
Exercise, drawing boundaries when it comes to work hours, and saying no to things that I know are going to give me a big headache. These may not all be possible for you right now, but fixing your diet and exercising a bit would be good for your mental health and physical health - don't let the job put you in an early grave!
Your physical and mental health come first. In ten, five, and possibly just one year, no one is going to be exclaiming about how wonderful your program reviews were. They will go into a digital trash bin, never to be acted upon.
Since you are tenured, I presume middle-aged, and your employer is in good enough financial shape to hire new people, I'd say your daily priorities should be:
- Exercise.
- Cooking and eating healthy meals.
- Gardening.
- Other satisfying and enjoyable activities.
- Work tasks, most of which are a complete waste of your time.
Shut down your email at the same time every weekday, like 5:00 p.m. Do not do anything work-related on weekends and holidays.
Echoing everything spork and Sun_Worshiper said. I did not do any of those things in similar circumstances to yours and suffered a stroke. I came out fine, but it would clearly have been better to pay attention to myself more than my perceived responsibilities at that point.
I urge you to delegate more, as I'm guessing as many of us do that it isn't your first inclination.
Best wishes from retirement to you in this time of stress.
I've been juggling my roles as professor, researcher, and dean for a number of years now, with constantly increasing complexity on the administrative side, so there's lots of tension and more work than I can do in any given week. I've learned to not be too tough on myself, to stay on top of emails, and to practice lots of self-care. For me, that means non-negotiable time for hobbies, healthy eating, and self-care in the form of meditation, massages, and sensory deprivation floatation therapy. Schedule time for yourself and celebrate your successes.
I feel your pain, and particularly because I am in the same situation: tasked with weighty administrative duties while being short a vital secretary, and one who doesn't look as if she will be replaced.
Of course the standard advice is "Eat healthy, exercise, take time for yourself." But when we're in the trenches, we also know that if we take time for those things, we have an even greater pile of duties, responsibilities, reports, assessments, and email screaming at us when we return to work.
My advice would be:
a) get permission to delay everything you can, considering the lack of secretarial support and current conditions. Fight hard to put some of those mandated things off for a year or two.
b) outsource everything that can be outsourced. Get a cleaner for your house. And/or get a robo-vac set to clean on a regular schedule. Do meal kits (Gobble has ones that are supposed to take no more than 15 minutes to prepare) or a local service that delivers readymade healthy meals — we have two services like that around here. Don't succumb to thoughts like "I should be as frugal as possible!" (unless you are genuinely pressed for funds) or "It is silly to have other people do things I could perfectly well do myself!" Simplify your wardrobe — find stuff you like that fits and just order it online in a whole bunch of different colors. Set up those services that deliver consumables (toilet paper, cat litter, etc.) on a regular basis. Get all your bills on auto-pay.
It's a challenge all right — good luck!
Quote from: Hegemony on October 22, 2023, 06:08:53 PMI feel your pain, and particularly because I am in the same situation: tasked with weighty administrative duties while being short a vital secretary, and one who doesn't look as if she will be replaced.
Of course the standard advice is "Eat healthy, exercise, take time for yourself." But when we're in the trenches, we also know that if we take time for those things, we have an even greater pile of duties, responsibilities, reports, assessments, and email screaming at us when we return to work.
My advice would be:
a) get permission to delay everything you can, considering the lack of secretarial support and current conditions. Fight hard to put some of those mandated things off for a year or two.
b) outsource everything that can be outsourced. Get a cleaner for your house. And/or get a robo-vac set to clean on a regular schedule. Do meal kits (Gobble has ones that are supposed to take no more than 15 minutes to prepare) or a local service that delivers readymade healthy meals — we have two services like that around here. Don't succumb to thoughts like "I should be as frugal as possible!" (unless you are genuinely pressed for funds) or "It is silly to have other people do things I could perfectly well do myself!" Simplify your wardrobe — find stuff you like that fits and just order it online in a whole bunch of different colors. Set up those services that deliver consumables (toilet paper, cat litter, etc.) on a regular basis. Get all your bills on auto-pay.
It's a challenge all right — good luck!
Sorry to nitpick, because your general point is correct, but there is always time to eat in a healthy way.
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 22, 2023, 10:07:50 PMSorry to nitpick, because your general point is correct, but there is always time to eat in a healthy way.
Oh, for Pete's sake. There's always time to do anything, as long as you are okay with not doing something else. But for some of us in some situations, the trade-off is not worth it. When I come home after a ten-hour workday coping with the dean in a panic because the litigious student has sent yet another letter from his lawyer demanding we raise his A-, the grad student who had to be hastened out of the three-hour seminar by campus security to evade her violent ex who had violated his restraining order again, four hours of student-crammed office hours, and I still have 40 papers in my grading pile and a 15-page assessment report to write, sure, I could cut up some veggies (assuming I had any still fit to be eaten) and put together a nice salad with, where did the dressing go, oh, I'm out again so let me just combine some oil and herbs and — where did the vinegar go? Oh yes, I used it trying to cope with the fruit flies... Or I could just grab whatever requires the least amount of preparation and devour it.
So I'd say that your general point is correct, but there is always time to allow for the fact that other people may have more urgent priorities.
Quote from: Hegemony on October 22, 2023, 10:26:20 PMQuote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 22, 2023, 10:07:50 PMSorry to nitpick, because your general point is correct, but there is always time to eat in a healthy way.
Oh, for Pete's sake. There's always time to do anything, as long as you are okay with not doing something else. But for some of us in some situations, the trade-off is not worth it. When I come home after a ten-hour workday coping with the dean in a panic because the litigious student has sent yet another letter from his lawyer demanding we raise his A-, the grad student who had to be hastened out of the three-hour seminar by campus security to evade her violent ex who had violated his restraining order again, four hours of student-crammed office hours, and I still have 40 papers in my grading pile and a 15-page assessment report to write, sure, I could cut up some veggies (assuming I had any still fit to be eaten) and put together a nice salad with, where did the dressing go, oh, I'm out again so let me just combine some oil and herbs and — where did the vinegar go? Oh yes, I used it trying to cope with the fruit flies... Or I could just grab whatever requires the least amount of preparation and devour it.
So I'd say that your general point is correct, but there is always time to allow for the fact that other people may have more urgent priorities.
It is quite easy and quick to make a simple parfait or a stir fry, let alone to eat a bag of veggies, some fresh fruits, or a packet of tuna.
And I get that it is annoying to hear/read that, but it is really not as hard as people often to portray to take halfway decent care of oneself, even in a time crunch.
We're going to have to agree to disagree there. If it were genuinely easy, more people would do it. I get that for you, being exhausted does not preclude making a stir-fry (and shopping beforehand to have the ingredients). For some of us, it does. Being told, "Really, you're not too tired to do it!" — well, yes I am, is all I can say. Having to pull together a stir-fry at the end of a frazzled day would just add aggravation to exhaustion. This kind of cheerful upbraiding strikes me as kind of akin to the person who tells the person suffering from depression, "Just be happier! That's all there is to it!" With just a hint of moral judgment if the person is not up to the effort. "But it's really perfectly easy!" Well, huh, the fact that it's not perfectly easy for me must be a failure of moral will, I guess.
I have had luck with a beginning yoga/meditation class. I struggle to get my brain to calm down, so the meditation side has been a nice boon. And since it's a scheduled class, I "have" to go.
Otherwise, when I'm supposed to be relaxing I just start mentally looping into all the things I have to do. Which sucks.
Also, simple breathing exercises every hour on the hour help (although I get some looks in meetings when I start the deep breathing).
Nothing to add here other than to say there's some good advice on this thread. My stress situation is the reverse: work is fine, but my personal life is in shambles. I know it's only a matter of time before it does start affecting my work.
Quote from: Hegemony on October 23, 2023, 03:11:54 AMWe're going to have to agree to disagree there. If it were genuinely easy, more people would do it. I get that for you, being exhausted does not preclude making a stir-fry (and shopping beforehand to have the ingredients). For some of us, it does. Being told, "Really, you're not too tired to do it!" — well, yes I am, is all I can say. Having to pull together a stir-fry at the end of a frazzled day would just add aggravation to exhaustion. This kind of cheerful upbraiding strikes me as kind of akin to the person who tells the person suffering from depression, "Just be happier! That's all there is to it!" With just a hint of moral judgment if the person is not up to the effort. "But it's really perfectly easy!" Well, huh, the fact that it's not perfectly easy for me must be a failure of moral will, I guess.
It is just as easy to eat healthy as it is to eat like crap. People just use being busy as an excuse to eat junk food.
Eat an apple instead of a bag of chips; eat a packet of salmon and a bag of broccoli instead of a burger from McDonalds; bring a banana to work instead of getting something from a vending machine, etc.
Careful dude. The distance from that high horse you are on to the ground is bigger than you think.
As to perhaps more useful advice for the OP.....
What would happen if you delayed going up for full for a year. Ideally, that would give you some breathing room to manage the low level chaos and get your support people in place and trained.
Just a thought.
Quote from: secundem_artem on October 23, 2023, 10:16:13 AMCareful dude. The distance from that high horse you are on to the ground is bigger than you think.
As to perhaps more useful advice for the OP.....
What would happen if you delayed going up for full for a year. Ideally, that would give you some breathing room to manage the low level chaos and get your support people in place and trained.
Just a thought.
Agreed that the "everyone always has time to eat healthy" may be underestimating the extra bandwidth involved in making sure you have non-rotting healthy food components on hand.
And in some cases I have seen, having a year break between being "in charge" and asking the people you were "in charge" of to vote for your promotion is a good thing (this obviously varies greatly from situation to situation).
But for me (and I'm in a kind of similar place right now) what's helped at least a bit is to start thinking about which balls I'm juggling will bounce and which won't. Even without advanced permission, the only thing that happens where I am if we miss the deadline for assessment reports is cranky emails until we are over 3 months late, so that's a bouncy ball for example.
Quote from: onthefringe on October 23, 2023, 11:10:28 AMQuote from: secundem_artem on October 23, 2023, 10:16:13 AMCareful dude. The distance from that high horse you are on to the ground is bigger than you think.
As to perhaps more useful advice for the OP.....
What would happen if you delayed going up for full for a year. Ideally, that would give you some breathing room to manage the low level chaos and get your support people in place and trained.
Just a thought.
Agreed that the "everyone always has time to eat healthy" may be underestimating the extra bandwidth involved in making sure you have non-rotting healthy food components on hand.
And in some cases I have seen, having a year break between being "in charge" and asking the people you were "in charge" of to vote for your promotion is a good thing (this obviously varies greatly from situation to situation).
But for me (and I'm in a kind of similar place right now) what's helped at least a bit is to start thinking about which balls I'm juggling will bounce and which won't. Even without advanced permission, the only thing that happens where I am if we miss the deadline for assessment reports is cranky emails until we are over 3 months late, so that's a bouncy ball for example.
It takes more bandwidth to buy healthy food from the store than unhealthy food? I don't follow. And if the concern is that fruits and veggies go rotten, then buy frozen ones.
Look, I know that I'm derailing the thread and I'm sorry if it is annoying people or making them feel bad, but the perpetuation of this myth that it is easier and faster to eat junk food is not doing anyone any favors.
I think the word that comes to mind is "sanctimonious."
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 23, 2023, 11:47:48 AMIt takes more bandwidth to buy healthy food from the store than unhealthy food? I don't follow..
For me,
change takes more bandwidth. Results on some recent health metrics indicated that I needed to make some significant changes in my diet. I do now need to think about what I am eating more than I did in the past, so, yes, there is more bandwidth involved in planning meals, purchasing food, and cooking for me at this time. Some of my go-to/easy prep foods for times of stress are now things I need to eat in more limited amounts or not eat at all
I now apply Cher's strategy to my work:
"If it doesn't matter in five years, it doesn't matter."
It's a remarkable useful heuristic.
Another strategy, which could be a corollary of the above principle:
"If it's so important that I attend this meeting, put me on the agenda."
Quote from: Hegemony on October 23, 2023, 05:36:25 PMI think the word that comes to mind is "sanctimonious."
You can call names if you want, but what I'm saying is true and a lot of people need to hear it.
Quote from: OneMoreYear on October 24, 2023, 07:13:39 AMQuote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 23, 2023, 11:47:48 AMIt takes more bandwidth to buy healthy food from the store than unhealthy food? I don't follow..
For me, change takes more bandwidth. Results on some recent health metrics indicated that I needed to make some significant changes in my diet. I do now need to think about what I am eating more than I did in the past, so, yes, there is more bandwidth involved in planning meals, purchasing food, and cooking for me at this time. Some of my go-to/easy prep foods for times of stress are now things I need to eat in more limited amounts or not eat at all
This is actually one of those times when ChatGPT can be your friend. Ask it to give you a low/no prep meal healthy meal plan.
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 23, 2023, 11:47:48 AMbut the perpetuation of this myth that it is easier and faster to eat junk food is not doing anyone any favors.
That isn't a myth. It IS easier and faster. IF it weren't, you'd be in the position of arguing that people choose a less healthful, harder and longer to acquire diet over a healthier, easier and faster to acquire one. That doesn't make sense.
Quote from: FishProf on October 24, 2023, 10:08:31 AMQuote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 23, 2023, 11:47:48 AMbut the perpetuation of this myth that it is easier and faster to eat junk food is not doing anyone any favors.
That isn't a myth. It IS easier and faster. IF it weren't, you'd be in the position of arguing that people choose a less healthful, harder and longer to acquire diet over a healthier, easier and faster to acquire one. That doesn't make sense.
People choose to eat junk food because it is delicious - it is literally engineered to be so tasty and addictive that people can't stop themselves from eating it. In contrast, eating packets of salmon and celery aren't tasty or satisfying to most people.
And I understand why people want to insist that they have no choice but to eat junk - whether because they are busy or because it is so expensive to eat in a healthy way (which is also not true). And from a will-power standpoint or a status quo bias standpoint it is of course easier to keep doing what you're already doing. But from a simple time management perspective, it does not take any more time to prep and eat a bag of unsalted almonds than a bag of chips, salmon packets than frozen meals, or plain greek yogurt and granola rather than a bagel and cream cheese.
And since this thread is about OP's situation, I suggest everyone revisit their opening post, where they say that they are hopelessly stressed and that their diet has gone to hell. This person is putting their physical health at risk with this lifestyle and eating a healthier diet is an easy (from a time management perspective) thing they can do to feel better and to relieve physical and mental stress. Anyone telling OP that eating well is going to be too difficult because of the intensive time it takes to do so is giving terrible advice.
I'm replying to YOUR post. What you said above was devoid of the nuance you just put in.
Explanations and justifications aren't the same thing. Just because something is easier and/or faster isn't a good reason to do it. But it IS a reason. When you deny that simple reality (as your post did), you are saying there is no explanation of the behavior. Failing to recognize part of the reason something occurs is no way to prevent that thing.
It is "more expensive to eat healthy" (see https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5708033/ for one example of a study showing this). Junk food is easier to acquire, and there is a crisis is some inner city areas where healthful foods are increasingly difficult to get.
None of that is to say "people want to insist that they have no choice but to eat junk" is a valid claim. It isn't. But there are obstacles to be overcome in changing from a less to a more healthful diet. Claiming otherwise sound preachy (someone said 'sanctimonious') to me.
Quote from: FishProf on October 24, 2023, 10:51:50 AMI'm replying to YOUR post. What you said above was devoid of the nuance you just put in.
Explanations and justifications aren't the same thing. Just because something is easier and/or faster isn't a good reason to do it. But it IS a reason. When you deny that simple reality (as your post did), you are saying there is no explanation of the behavior. Failing to recognize part of the reason something occurs is no way to prevent that thing.
It is "more expensive to eat healthy" (see https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5708033/ for one example of a study showing this). Junk food is easier to acquire, and there is a crisis is some inner city areas where healthful foods are increasingly difficult to get.
None of that is to say "people want to insist that they have no choice but to eat junk" is a valid claim. It isn't. But there are obstacles to be overcome in changing from a less to a more healthful diet. Claiming otherwise sound preachy (someone said 'sanctimonious') to me.
If you read all my comments throughout the thread, in the context of the OP, then it should be pretty clear what I am saying. If it was not sufficiently nuanced for you, then hopefully it is now.
What I'm saying may come off to you as being sanctimonious, but there is no moral judgement on my part. I choose to eat junk food too sometimes, even while knowing that it is bad for my health. But it takes me just as long, if not longer, than it would to eat something healthy from my refrigerator. To be fair, I don't live in a food desert, but it doesn't seem that anyone else in this thread does either, so while I certainly agree with your point that there are structural factors that make it difficult for some people to access healthy foods, it is totally irrelevant to the conversation at hand.
As for your study, like any good scientist I can find one that shows the opposite to be true: https://www.ers.usda.gov/webdocs/publications/44678/19980_eib96.pdf.
I reread all your posts. It is pretty clear what you are saying. I'll stand by my assessment.
Quote from: FishProf on October 24, 2023, 11:30:07 AMI reread all your posts. It is pretty clear what you are saying. I'll stand by my assessment.
*shrugs*
As we're all aware, it's hard to maintain "tone" in writing, so one person's helpfulness can be another's sanctimony. I certainly didn't see any intentional "judginess" in any of the responses. Sometimes we've got something that works and we get a little frustrated that other folks can't see it. FWIW, I've wound up putting two regular respondents on my ignore list--one a moderator who I thought was kind of a meanie, and the other a seemingly (admittedly, IMO) professional troll. But if I actually spoke to them face to face, I might catch a glimpse of humanity that I missed.
I've often thought that the world will end neither in fire nor ice, nor with bang nor whimper, but rather a shrug.
I do an in class discussion assignment where we look at a single mom who has 3 kids and also has both time and financial pressures. Her kids are fussy eaters. Family history is that they are all on the chubby side.
Dinner choices include:
Kraft Dinner - 2 boxes from Wally Mart and a half gallon of milk. 20 minutes preparation time, kids like it, total cost ~ $5. Dinner has same nutritional value as the box it came in.
Frozen Pizza - 2 pepperoni pizzas from Wally Mart. As cheap as $6 + cost of milk. Kids like it, 30 minutes preparation time to pre-heat the oven and bake the pies.
McD - 3 Happy Meals and 1 Big Mac Value Meal for Mom - 3 x ~$7 + $12 =$32. Kids like it. Zero preparation time.
Roast Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli w Cheese Sauce Milk & Fruit Cup - Wally Mart Prices - Chicken $7, 1/2 a 5 lb bag of potatoes - $2.50. Fresh Broccoli - $1.50. Cheese/Milk/Butter for potatoes & broccoli - $2. Fruit cups 1/2 of a 12 pack - $4. Milk $2.50 Total cost about $14.00
BUT - Preparation time is ~ 90 minutes after every one is home from school and already hungry, Not a lot of appeal to most children except for maybe the chicken and the cheese sauce.
Given the circumstances under which a person like this lives, making poor choices can have quite reasonable explanations. The healthy meal is cheaper than the McD but more expensive than the other options, and requires more time shopping, more time cooking, more time cleaning up and kids are notoriously fussy eaters whom mom does not want to have to wrangle into eating their dinner.
It's easy to be critical of food choices, but without knowing somebody's personal circumstances, I try to avoid being too critical - but then again I just had a pack of ramen noodles for lunch, so I'm no model of dietary wisdom.
I think that's very insightful.
However, it leaves out one variable -- income. It is apparently high enough to enable the purchase of time-saving food, but not high enough to incentivize working less to leave more time to prepare food.
Thank god for junk food!
Quote from: secundem_artem on October 25, 2023, 12:37:00 PMI do an in class discussion assignment where we look at a single mom who has 3 kids and also has both time and financial pressures. Her kids are fussy eaters. Family history is that they are all on the chubby side.
Dinner choices include:
Kraft Dinner - 2 boxes from Wally Mart and a half gallon of milk. 20 minutes preparation time, kids like it, total cost ~ $5. Dinner has same nutritional value as the box it came in.
Frozen Pizza - 2 pepperoni pizzas from Wally Mart. As cheap as $6 + cost of milk. Kids like it, 30 minutes preparation time to pre-heat the oven and bake the pies.
McD - 3 Happy Meals and 1 Big Mac Value Meal for Mom - 3 x ~$7 + $12 =$32. Kids like it. Zero preparation time.
Roast Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli w Cheese Sauce Milk & Fruit Cup - Wally Mart Prices - Chicken $7, 1/2 a 5 lb bag of potatoes - $2.50. Fresh Broccoli - $1.50. Cheese/Milk/Butter for potatoes & broccoli - $2. Fruit cups 1/2 of a 12 pack - $4. Milk $2.50 Total cost about $14.00
BUT - Preparation time is ~ 90 minutes after every one is home from school and already hungry, Not a lot of appeal to most children except for maybe the chicken and the cheese sauce.
Given the circumstances under which a person like this lives, making poor choices can have quite reasonable explanations. The healthy meal is cheaper than the McD but more expensive than the other options, and requires more time shopping, more time cooking, more time cleaning up and kids are notoriously fussy eaters whom mom does not want to have to wrangle into eating their dinner.
It's easy to be critical of food choices, but without knowing somebody's personal circumstances, I try to avoid being too critical - but then again I just had a pack of ramen noodles for lunch, so I'm no model of dietary wisdom.
Ok but what does any of this have to do with the conversation in this thread? OP is not a poor single mother with fussy kids, they are an overworked administrator with a terrible diet. You are creating this complex thought experiment, which I would take a lot of issue with if I felt like debating it, to make some point that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.
And I'm not being critical of anyone for their dietary choices. Eat what you want - it is your body. I'm challenging the myth that it is so time consuming to prepare and eat a healthy meal. And frankly nobody in this thread has disputed that with anything substantive.
Quote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 25, 2023, 07:20:42 PMQuote from: secundem_artem on October 25, 2023, 12:37:00 PMI do an in class discussion assignment where we look at a single mom who has 3 kids and also has both time and financial pressures. Her kids are fussy eaters. Family history is that they are all on the chubby side.
Dinner choices include:
Kraft Dinner - 2 boxes from Wally Mart and a half gallon of milk. 20 minutes preparation time, kids like it, total cost ~ $5. Dinner has same nutritional value as the box it came in.
Frozen Pizza - 2 pepperoni pizzas from Wally Mart. As cheap as $6 + cost of milk. Kids like it, 30 minutes preparation time to pre-heat the oven and bake the pies.
McD - 3 Happy Meals and 1 Big Mac Value Meal for Mom - 3 x ~$7 + $12 =$32. Kids like it. Zero preparation time.
Roast Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli w Cheese Sauce Milk & Fruit Cup - Wally Mart Prices - Chicken $7, 1/2 a 5 lb bag of potatoes - $2.50. Fresh Broccoli - $1.50. Cheese/Milk/Butter for potatoes & broccoli - $2. Fruit cups 1/2 of a 12 pack - $4. Milk $2.50 Total cost about $14.00
BUT - Preparation time is ~ 90 minutes after every one is home from school and already hungry, Not a lot of appeal to most children except for maybe the chicken and the cheese sauce.
Given the circumstances under which a person like this lives, making poor choices can have quite reasonable explanations. The healthy meal is cheaper than the McD but more expensive than the other options, and requires more time shopping, more time cooking, more time cleaning up and kids are notoriously fussy eaters whom mom does not want to have to wrangle into eating their dinner.
It's easy to be critical of food choices, but without knowing somebody's personal circumstances, I try to avoid being too critical - but then again I just had a pack of ramen noodles for lunch, so I'm no model of dietary wisdom.
Ok but what does any of this have to do with the conversation in this thread? OP is not a poor single mother with fussy kids, they are an overworked administrator with a terrible diet. You are creating this complex thought experiment, which I would take a lot of issue with if I felt like debating it, to make some point that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.
And I'm not being critical of anyone for their dietary choices. Eat what you want - it is your body. I'm challenging the myth that it is so time consuming to prepare and eat a healthy meal. And frankly nobody in this thread has disputed that with anything substantive.
Weighing in here...
I'm pretty fit, active and eat very healthy. Except alcohol, that's another story.
Still, last night I had a long drive and no time for dinner. Okay, I could have stopped at a restaurant and had a salad, but I didn't feel like spending 1/2 hour in a restaurant. Drive-through takeout in my car would have been a burger and fries and a greasy mess all over the steering wheel.
Dinner was a Clif bar, a banana, and a bottle of water.
This morning, breakfast at the hotel is basically a "raid the refrigerator" kind of deal. I had coffee, instant oatmeal, peanut butter, banana and string cheese. There is a restaurant across the parking lot but they weren't open for breakfast when I was ready so no veggie omelet and fruit salad for me.
Point is, there are not a lot of quick healthy convenient ways to feed oneself, even if one is highly motivated to do so.
Sun-Worshipper says: "And I'm not being critical of anyone for their dietary choices. Eat what you want - it is your body. I'm challenging the myth that it is so time consuming to prepare and eat a healthy meal. And frankly nobody in this thread has disputed that with anything substantive."
Except where the class assignment which you - Sun_Worshipper - claimsa has nothing to do with the OP post does exactly that. The single mom has the choice between a fast food chain or a frozen pizza - both which are done pretty much right away and require little thought or prep.
Or a much "healthier" meal of roast chicken and veggies, which will take some work and won't be ready for an hour and half.
If someone is already tired and stressed out, then it is hard sometimes to find the energy, time and brain power to GIVE to meal prep, when all you want to do is eat something and go to bed.
AJ Katz, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. You might recall I frequently vented on the old Fora when I was having a similarly stressful couple of years (different in some details, but similar in scope and depth) when I was a dept. chair.
I did everything "wrong"--smoked like a fiend, ate junk (and everything else) to excess, not enough sleep, 7-day weeks and 14-hour days--even while knowing I was completely wrong in all of it. I paid the price (family relationships at the time, mental and physical health during and since).
The best advice I can offer--that I should have followed more often myself--would be to say "no" (even when at times it seems like you can't), and to carve out an hour or two a day purely for yourself to not have to deal with others (again, even when it seems like you can't). I'm a lot older, though maybe not all that much wiser, than when I went through it, but I feel sure my health would be less compromised now if I'd have had the discipline to do those two things at the time.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Quote from: ciao_yall on October 26, 2023, 07:19:03 AMQuote from: Sun_Worshiper on October 25, 2023, 07:20:42 PMQuote from: secundem_artem on October 25, 2023, 12:37:00 PMI do an in class discussion assignment where we look at a single mom who has 3 kids and also has both time and financial pressures. Her kids are fussy eaters. Family history is that they are all on the chubby side.
Dinner choices include:
Kraft Dinner - 2 boxes from Wally Mart and a half gallon of milk. 20 minutes preparation time, kids like it, total cost ~ $5. Dinner has same nutritional value as the box it came in.
Frozen Pizza - 2 pepperoni pizzas from Wally Mart. As cheap as $6 + cost of milk. Kids like it, 30 minutes preparation time to pre-heat the oven and bake the pies.
McD - 3 Happy Meals and 1 Big Mac Value Meal for Mom - 3 x ~$7 + $12 =$32. Kids like it. Zero preparation time.
Roast Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Broccoli w Cheese Sauce Milk & Fruit Cup - Wally Mart Prices - Chicken $7, 1/2 a 5 lb bag of potatoes - $2.50. Fresh Broccoli - $1.50. Cheese/Milk/Butter for potatoes & broccoli - $2. Fruit cups 1/2 of a 12 pack - $4. Milk $2.50 Total cost about $14.00
BUT - Preparation time is ~ 90 minutes after every one is home from school and already hungry, Not a lot of appeal to most children except for maybe the chicken and the cheese sauce.
Given the circumstances under which a person like this lives, making poor choices can have quite reasonable explanations. The healthy meal is cheaper than the McD but more expensive than the other options, and requires more time shopping, more time cooking, more time cleaning up and kids are notoriously fussy eaters whom mom does not want to have to wrangle into eating their dinner.
It's easy to be critical of food choices, but without knowing somebody's personal circumstances, I try to avoid being too critical - but then again I just had a pack of ramen noodles for lunch, so I'm no model of dietary wisdom.
Ok but what does any of this have to do with the conversation in this thread? OP is not a poor single mother with fussy kids, they are an overworked administrator with a terrible diet. You are creating this complex thought experiment, which I would take a lot of issue with if I felt like debating it, to make some point that has nothing to do with the issue at hand.
And I'm not being critical of anyone for their dietary choices. Eat what you want - it is your body. I'm challenging the myth that it is so time consuming to prepare and eat a healthy meal. And frankly nobody in this thread has disputed that with anything substantive.
Weighing in here...
I'm pretty fit, active and eat very healthy. Except alcohol, that's another story.
Still, last night I had a long drive and no time for dinner. Okay, I could have stopped at a restaurant and had a salad, but I didn't feel like spending 1/2 hour in a restaurant. Drive-through takeout in my car would have been a burger and fries and a greasy mess all over the steering wheel.
Dinner was a Clif bar, a banana, and a bottle of water.
This morning, breakfast at the hotel is basically a "raid the refrigerator" kind of deal. I had coffee, instant oatmeal, peanut butter, banana and string cheese. There is a restaurant across the parking lot but they weren't open for breakfast when I was ready so no veggie omelet and fruit salad for me.
Point is, there are not a lot of quick healthy convenient ways to feed oneself, even if one is highly motivated to do so.
Sounds like what you ate was pretty healthy, under the circumstances. But look, I'm not saying there is never ever a situation where it is more convenient to eat something unhealthy. My point is simply that for the most part it is not more time consuming to prep and eat a healthy meal than it is to prep and eat an unhealthy meal.
Quote from: sonoamused on October 26, 2023, 10:27:03 AMSun-Worshipper says: "And I'm not being critical of anyone for their dietary choices. Eat what you want - it is your body. I'm challenging the myth that it is so time consuming to prepare and eat a healthy meal. And frankly nobody in this thread has disputed that with anything substantive."
Except where the class assignment which you - Sun_Worshipper - claimsa has nothing to do with the OP post does exactly that. The single mom has the choice between a fast food chain or a frozen pizza - both which are done pretty much right away and require little thought or prep.
Or a much "healthier" meal of roast chicken and veggies, which will take some work and won't be ready for an hour and half.
If someone is already tired and stressed out, then it is hard sometimes to find the energy, time and brain power to GIVE to meal prep, when all you want to do is eat something and go to bed.
With respect to secundem_artem, this scenario is just a nonsense hypothetical made up out of thin air. Where does 1.5 hours come from? And why did the mom buy a bunch of junk food at the store in the first place instead of frozen vegetables and brown minute rice in a bag? That would be less expensive, take less time to prepare, and be much healthier. I don't even know why I'm responding to it, because it is frankly ridiculous and unserious. And, as I said above, it is irrelevant to this thread about OP and their efforts to deal with stress.
And the folks in this thread trying to play
gotcha with some random anecdote or hypothetical scenario are really missing the wider point: Anyone with access to a grocery store can practice healthy eating without it imposing on their busy schedule. Yes, there will occasionally be times when it will be easier to hit the drive through (although nobody is forcing you to order the most unhealthy thing on the menu), but for the most part you - yes, you - can eat well if you so choose. Doing so will not cost you any time and, in fact, it will add significantly more healthy years to your life.
Hi Everyone – THANK YOU for all of your thoughtful comments and discussion. I think there is merit to all of the perspectives and comments that have been shared. What Sun-Worshipper has brought to the discussion has been particularly thought provoking for me... something that my initial gut reaction to was very similar to what Hegemony stated early on that the stress can make it nearly impossible to find the mental energy to prepare meals. While I agree that the act of eating healthy foods is just as easy as eating junk food, for me, food is also an outlet... one that when I am not under tons of stress is something that I can navigate successfully 95% of the time, but when I am maxed out on stress, makes it so that I cannot resist the donut in the break room, the candy in my secretary's candy dish, the free pizza on Friday afternoon for the seminar... the amount of time and energy it takes to access free food is pretty minimal in those cases! Also... no dishes either! I'm also traveling more and at conferences, with many food options that I would normally not expose myself to.
Nevertheless, a couple of folks on the thread noted significant and/or long-term personal health effects resulting from their stress and lack of self care.... which underscores Sun-Worshipper's guidance to try not to fall into the trap of using stress as an excuse to eat unhealthy foods, which I think is real... my brain is always trying to find a reason it is okay to eat highly stimulating processed foods.
Anyhow, I owe everyone an update that I am feeling leaps and bounds better than I was when I made my post a few weeks ago. This is largely to be attributed to the departure of our finance person, with whom my interactions were causing me more stress than I previously realized. The decrease in my stress has made is much easier to find time for cooking. Also, my partner has started doing more of the grocery shopping (because I had stopped going), which has made it easier to be able to make meals at home. While I am not yet ready to think about a diet to help me get my weight back down to where is was previously, I feel that I am in a much better place with my stress level. Thank you all again for the support and energetic discussion.
Glad you've found it helpful after all. And that the advice regarding healthy eating was well-taken, despite the rather off-putting discussion that resulted from it. And above all, that the overall situation is looking up for you at this point.
Apparently I missed this the first time through. On the original topic of the thread, some things I do: I have cats, who constantly demand attention but are also fun and stress-reducing to snuggle and make me think about another living being, which is a nice change of brain. I try to spend a few minutes outdoors every day, maybe walking the cats (now leash trained), walking to the corner store to buy something, sitting on a bench while I eat my lunch, etc. That outside time is screen-free; I literally leave my phone on my desk so I can't see emails or hear texts. I keep a notepad by my bed so if I panic about something I can write it down and go back to sleep, knowing it will be there in the morning. I allow myself half an hour every evening as "free" time to wind down before bed--that could be a book, a game, a long shower, etc. When I'm stressed, I have a small budget for small things that make life more pleasant and don't cost much in money or time, such as shower steamers or a piece of fruit I really want. I am trying to convince spouse to hire a cleaner (this is an endless debate, but 10 years in I'm making progress). In general, I agree with the advice to outsource.
On the derailed tangent, may I politely suggest that "easy healthy meals" could be an excellent thread in its own right that people could enter as they had the time and energy to do so? And I'll also note that where I think healthy eating breaks down into extra time is not--for me--in the cooking, but in the cleaning up after. I recently had a fellowship in which I had limited kitchen access and had to do most of my cooking in a microwave in tupperware, and I was dazzled by how very little time I spent cleaning. On the other hand, I went through an appalling amount of plastic packaging, so what I saved in time I definitely tossed into the landfill.
AR.