Why Parents Drink

[mythbuster]

      To Marshwiggles question, my private elementary/middle school has Science day/fair, Art day, Sports day (track and field), Talent Day, and a whole school Vaudeville style theater revue at the end of the year where each class performed "a number".
      I was good as science, so I liked Science day. Art day was essentially a carnival, so everyone liked that one, even me who was designated by the art teacher as "not good at art". Sports day was fun as long as you didn't dwell on the fact that the races were always won by the kids who were taller or more along developmentally. I did come in third in the high jump one year, doing an approximation of the Fosbury flop.  Remember, this was a private school in the 1980s- back when being well rounded was still a desirable trait.
   I also knew some kids in middle school who did a History day project/fair thing. So these other "Days" did exist, but are likely to be cut in favor of more drill and kill for the State exam.

[polly_mer]

A terse email from the science teacher indicates that Blocky is now exempt from all science fair requirements and his grade in science will be based on the other activities in class.

I still wonder what those other activities are, especially since the weekly grade report doesn't indicate any other graded activities in the past two weeks, just submission of forms and plans.

Fun fact: the district science fair website has calls for community mentors to work with the 7-12 students to ensure that all students who want to participate in the competitive voluntary science fair that could lead to the Intel/International Science and Engineering Fair will have the adult mentoring they need.  The largest employer around will provide 30 hours of paid time to be that mentor, if people jump the minimal hoops to fill out the form and get their manager's approval.

Huh.  I wonder why they do the worst possible situation in 4-6 grades and then obey standard best practices in 7-12 grade.  I'm sure that remains a question for the teachers on Friday during the entirely-voluntary, parent/teacher conference.

[mythbuster]

Polly, have you been declared an official troublemaker by the district yet? I say this and I entirely support your stance. Every kid should have the opportunity to do a real science project! So wear that title with pride!

[Thursday's_Child]

Taking wellkid to the eye doc next week, as his color blindness is--only now at 15--messing with his school performance. It's no surprise that he *is* colorblind (so's dad), but it turns out that he now can't see some colors of marker on a whiteboard. Like the purple his chem teacher uses for assignments.

D'oh!

Purely for educational purposes AND if you don't mind telling, what type of color-blindness does he have?  The most common one is red-green, but your description (symptoms & inheritance) doesn't fit that at all.

[fleabite]

I'm not the OP, but this might interest you: http://www.colourblindawareness.org/colour-blindness/types-of-colour-blindness/. There are more forms of colorblindness then I realized. Some are inherited and some can worsen with age. In the worst cases, the world is monochrome.

[wellfleet]

Taking wellkid to the eye doc next week, as his color blindness is--only now at 15--messing with his school performance. It's no surprise that he *is* colorblind (so's dad), but it turns out that he now can't see some colors of marker on a whiteboard. Like the purple his chem teacher uses for assignments.

D'oh!

Purely for educational purposes AND if you don't mind telling, what type of color-blindness does he have?  The most common one is red-green, but your description (symptoms & inheritance) doesn't fit that at all.

His hypothesis is deuteranopia, which is the more severe kind of red/green color blindness. Red and green, to him, are both pretty much shades of yellow. We will see what the optometrist says. We may need school documentation and since he's about to learn to drive . . . .

I now understand why he's come to dislike Christmas decorations, too.

[kaysixteen]

So when the teacher writes with a purple marker on the whiteboard, what exactly does the kid see?

[polly_mer]

Polly, have you been declared an official troublemaker by the district yet? I say this and I entirely support your stance. Every kid should have the opportunity to do a real science project! So wear that title with pride!

I have been voluntold by my manager that I'm spending next week in a communications workshop.  Since confidentiality and prudence based on who else is in that workshop mean I can't use my real work, I plan to use best practices in science outreach as my project for the workshop.  If anyone raises an eyebrow, then I've already got bookmarked the parts of the strategic plan where "all" employees are supposed to be helping with community relations and pipeline issues.

We're probably just going to take the win in not having to do science fair this year because the legitimate concerns for our family remain that this is an absurdly busy time and I'm doing a fair amount of travel with Mr. Mer not comfortable doing the required science fair process instead of actual science as normal people do it to investigate a pressing interest.

[irhack]

Looks like we will be saying farewell to the family dog in the near future. IRSpouse and I knew this was coming and feel somewhat emotionally prepared, but whenever we've suggested the possibility to the kids in any oblique way they freak out. She's been around practically their whole lives. We've really explored all other options, maybe not to their satisfaction. How to make this easier for them? Other pet losses were when they were very very young, or involved less awesome pets (fish, hamsters).

[mamselle]

I'm so sorry to hear about your pet's impending loss.

It's always hard, even for adult children.

There is a dog-whisperer thread, or something akin, I think....right, here: Dog-to-English translation:

   https://thefora.org/index.php?topic=69.msg7922;topicseen#msg7922

Dogrents there may have suggestions as well.

All good thoughts.

M.

[citrine]

I don't really know if there's a way to make pet loss easier for children. I think just acknowledging their feelings: "[Pet name] died and we are sad" or "We are angry that [pet name] couldn't stay with us forever" seems to be what they need to hear.

Nephew made a memorial stone for his second hamster, and that seemed to help him with his grief. (He thought the first one was going to come back as a zombie hamster and was very sad when the hamster did not.)

[bioteacher]

Looks like we will be saying farewell to the family dog in the near future. IRSpouse and I knew this was coming and feel somewhat emotionally prepared, but whenever we've suggested the possibility to the kids in any oblique way they freak out. She's been around practically their whole lives. We've really explored all other options, maybe not to their satisfaction. How to make this easier for them? Other pet losses were when they were very very young, or involved less awesome pets (fish, hamsters).

Been there, done that about 18 months ago. Bioette was a toddler when we got Biodog and he helped raise her! I was very open about Biodog slowing down, and was firmly shut down any time I mentioned it.  We had been though the death of the pet snake, and 3 rats, so the finality of it was heavy on their minds.... it was familiar territory in that sense. Death is a departure with no return.

We had an appointment scheduled with the vet for a Saturday morning so we could go as a family, but after work mid week (I think on Wed or Thursday?) it was clear to me that it was Time. I called the vet to see if they could fit us in. We loaded Biodog and Bioette into the car, drove to Bioson's work place (grocery store where he collected carts and bagged groceries). I went in and told him what was happening, and we got permission for him to come outside and say goodbye. It broke all our hearts that his farewell was so rushed and in a parking lot, but at least Bioson got to say goodbye in person.

At the vet's office, I used my phone to get some pictures that still break my heart. One of my favorites is  one I took over my daughter's shoulder as she hugged him while waiting for the vet to come in. Biodog has his chin on her shoulder and is clearly smiling. He had cataracts, had reduced hearing and I suspect was also suffering from reduced sense of smell. He was calm and quiet, letting us pet him and love him. I was bawling. Biodad was a mess. Bioette was sobbing, too. That picture is still on my phone, as it was Biodog telling Bioette goodbye in his cheerful, calm way.

When it was over, and it was a truly peaceful, gentle passing, we told him goodbye, took a small cutting of fur and his collar, and came home to an empty house. I immediately put his reamingin food in my car to give to a coworker and packed up supplies like his food and water bowl that I knew I'd be okay using again someday. We gathered some of his favorite toys and his collar into a memory box. Bioette slept with some of his toys in her bed for weeks. The stairs he used to get onto the bed were not in good shape and I put them in the garage to burn ASAP.

I needed to get rid of the visual cues that would tell us he was here, but we kept his most important belongings. I have his ashes packed in that box, too. We had planned on buying them in our yard, but the box they came back in was so lovely.... we're in no rush to decide what to do next. The vet sent a lovely card to us and we added it to that collection.

My daughter and I participated in the weekly memorial on the Rainbow Bridge website. Rituals help us process and I had done the same when a prior dog passed.

There is nothing you can do to Prepare. You're never ready. My mom did two pastel paintings of Biodog and they are hanging up in our home. New dog, cute as she is, is a certified idiot and unable to fill the hole Biodog left. She has her own place in our home, but she isn't as special (to me, at least). Biodog was a once in a lifetime dog. The new one is cute and pampered, but she often reminds me of how special Biodog really was. That, too, is part of the grieving.

We all talk openly about new dog vs. Biodog, how much we miss him, how silly new dog is, and how hard it has been to adjust. We deal with it on a pretty regular basis, modeling the truth that grief isn't something you get over or moves past on a timely schedule. Biodog is a part of our lives forever, and new dog is finding her place with us. That's how you do it: one day at a time, with more honesty and tears than society says we should. I hope this helps.

[bioteacher]

I have been voluntold by my manager that I'm spending next week in a communications workshop.  Since confidentiality and prudence based on who else is in that workshop mean I can't use my real work, I plan to use best practices in science outreach as my project for the workshop.  If anyone raises an eyebrow, then I've already got bookmarked the parts of the strategic plan where "all" employees are supposed to be helping with community relations and pipeline issues.

Take your victories where you can! I commend you for pointing out the flaws in the school's plan and think your workshop ideas sound great, too. Blocky is going to be fine in terms of science exposure, but you have done the other kids at the school a huge favor by asking some pointed questions and getting a few people to rethink things. Round 2 next year should be interesting.....

[polly_mer]

For those who are curious, the parent-teacher conference on Friday was anticlimactic.  The team of three teachers was only a team of two for most of the conference with the science teacher "in the other room talking with another set of parents, sorry!"

The teachers who were there mostly wanted to brag on my kid with a minor concern for him putting his head down to start on the work in front of him instead of participating in the class discussion.  It seemed to me that the easy solution there was for Blocky not to have the work available before it was work time, but I dutifully gave Blocky (who was at the conference with us) the pep talk on how paying attention during the discussion and listening to other people's comments and questions is a good habit to cultivate now before the work becomes too hard to do without that help.

Even when the science teacher joined us and I tried to lob a couple softballs, the answers were not encouraging.  "The district required" a different set of science units this year so they are behind as a class.  In addition, the "hands-on" activities are mostly simulations on a computer for topics that are really easy and safe to do as labs and field trips.  It's very clear that, again this year, the person who ended up with the dual hats of science and social studies is great at social studies* and is checking the box on science by deferring to "the district".


*SS units have been very interesting, even second hand and the teacher's face lit up as she described the upcoming unit there.

[bioteacher]

I am glad that the social studies units are excellent. Having a teacher passionate about the topic is contagious and infects the students. If only we valued teachers enough to properly fund the classrooms AND give teachers TIME to prepare the materials for teaching. Sigh. Someday, the world will work right.