The Venting Thread

[apl68]

Using my lunch time today, I went home and I finally spot-sprayed all the dandelions in my yard.

Of course, it's the one day and one afternoon out of many that my lawn guy picked to start mowing the lawn for the new year. (He showed up to splay all the weed killer all over the lawn, right after I left to return to campus).

I don't spray the yard, but at the library I have to spray cracks in the walks and parking lot and douse the whole air conditioner enclosure to keep the weeds down.  The battery-powered sprayer died on me when I was trying to do so.  I got a spray bottle for a backup, but yesterday's and today's weather are proving uncooperative.  While I'm sidelined, the weeds are racing ahead.

[Charlotte]

"You have anxiety" and "It's just anxiety" are beginning to sound like the new female hysteria diagnosis. It cannot be normal to be in this much pain. Quit blaming everything on anxiety and refusing to even look for another possible explanation. Why won't anyone take me seriously? Do I just look like someone who should not be taken seriously?

[mamselle]

Probably, if you're female.

It's gonna take a couple more generations before we get to anything like equity.

Meanwhile, courage, and keep fighting the good fight.

And keep on seeking out help until you find help that actually helps.

You will find it, but it's not simple, sorry to say.

Even the helpers are overwhelmed and in pain right now.

But do keep trying.

Courage and all good thoughts to you.

M.

[Charlotte]

Thank you, Mamselle.

I do know that physical pain can be the result of psychological issues. But when I do not have abnormal levels of anxiety or an anxiety disorder to be told that my physical pain stems from anxiety is frustrating. Does pain not have a physical cause anymore? More deeply, it makes me question myself and wonder if I am truly crazy. Then, later on I can barely walk without pain and there is nothing I can do because the doctors will not complete an examination or order tests.

Or maybe physical pain is normal? That's the beauty of being told you're just anxious. You can't trust your own head anymore so all you can do is trust the doctor to tell you what you are feeling.

[fishbrains]

I'm not a doctor. Nor do I play one on TV. However, I have read about 2000 student narrative essays on various medical topics (I do this essay as an intro to research for Comp. I), and there are three common threads these essays:

1) Doctors--especially at the GP level--are quite often idiots focused on dispensing pharmaceuticals and pumping patients through the billing system.
2) Doctors will often dismiss women's complaints of physical pain with a diagnosis of stress, anxiety, or some other "it's in your head" conclusion--or they will tell women it's just "normal" no matter how bad the pain is.
3) Change doesn't happen by returning to the same doctor who previously dismissed the pain.

I hope I don't sound like I'm mansplaining in this post, but Charlotte's posts sound like the beginning paragraphs for many of these essays. Finding the right doctor was the key to success in most of the essays. At any rate, good luck with this.

[marshwiggle]

2) Doctors will often dismiss women's complaints of physical pain with a diagnosis of stress, anxiety, or some other "it's in your head" conclusion--or they will tell women it's just "normal" no matter how bad the pain is.

I've never heard any research on this, but does anyone know if this depends on the sex of the doctor?

[downer]

A couple of good books, both address how women get treated by medicine, especially male doctors:

Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women's Health and What Women Can Do About It
Alyson J. McGregor

How to Be a Patient: The Essential Guide to Navigating the World of Modern Medicine
Sana Goldberg

[RatGuy]

"You have anxiety" and "It's just anxiety" are beginning to sound like the new female hysteria diagnosis. It cannot be normal to be in this much pain. Quit blaming everything on anxiety and refusing to even look for another possible explanation. Why won't anyone take me seriously? Do I just look like someone who should not be taken seriously?

My wife's neurological issues lead to a wide range of chronic pains. Between the epilepsy, the migraines, the thyroid issues, and the PCOS, she has trouble getting any of these southern gentlemen doctors to take her seriously. Thankfully her neurologist is a woman who understands the scope of my wife's disability. With the rest my wife has resorted to quoting from "The Yellow Wallpaper," and that usually wakes them up.

[jimbogumbo]

2) Doctors will often dismiss women's complaints of physical pain with a diagnosis of stress, anxiety, or some other "it's in your head" conclusion--or they will tell women it's just "normal" no matter how bad the pain is.

I've never heard any research on this, but does anyone know if this depends on the sex of the doctor?

The only meta-analysis I could find didn't differentiate based on the sex of the patient:https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/195191

[marshwiggle]

2) Doctors will often dismiss women's complaints of physical pain with a diagnosis of stress, anxiety, or some other "it's in your head" conclusion--or they will tell women it's just "normal" no matter how bad the pain is.

I've never heard any research on this, but does anyone know if this depends on the sex of the doctor?

The only meta-analysis I could find didn't differentiate based on the sex of the patient:https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/195191

And it seems more about communication than about treatment.

[AmLitHist]

Sending you good wishes, Charlotte.  Don't let them gaslight you.

I'm happy to have found a doctor I really like and trust, probably the first since my OB of 30+ years ago.  It probably doesn't hurt that I'm 60 and not afraid to come off as cranky when any medical professional tries to feed me a line of nonsense (a character trait built from caring for Mom during her medically-complicated final years, and also for ALHS over the past decade). 

You don't have to come across as snotty, but you do need to explain, calmly and with an edge to you voice, why what is being suggested to you doesn't sound right, and why you're demanding an explanation.  I've found, "Talk to me like I'm five," to be a pretty effective line:  if they can't explain it to me and answer my questions to my satisfaction, I just tell them, "I'll be seeing another physician--I need the form to have my medical records shared." It didn't take long to get comfortable with being assertive after the first time I had to do it for Mom. (Yes, I'm that daughter/wife if things don't seem to be going right.)

Hoping you get some answers soon.

[apl68]

Today I was walking home for lunch and cut across a storm drain on a corner.  When I stepped on the manhole cover on the drain, it flipped up and I dropped through.  I found myself sitting there with both legs in the hole and the cover standing on edge resting against my shin.  It took a little trouble to extricate myself.  Now I've got both shins badly bruised and sore.  I'm just glad I didn't break anything.  I called the head of the street department and let him know that one of their manhole covers is ajar.  I don't know how it got loose.  Normally they're on there solid.

I'll never be able to view old cartoons about manhole plunges the same way again.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Today I was walking home for lunch and cut across a storm drain on a corner.  When I stepped on the manhole cover on the drain, it flipped up and I dropped through.  I found myself sitting there with both legs in the hole and the cover standing on edge resting against my shin.  It took a little trouble to extricate myself.  Now I've got both shins badly bruised and sore.  I'm just glad I didn't break anything.  I called the head of the street department and let him know that one of their manhole covers is ajar.  I don't know how it got loose.  Normally they're on there solid.

I'll never be able to view old cartoons about manhole plunges the same way again.

Oh my! I'm glad the outcome wasn't worse.

[ab_grp]

Today I was walking home for lunch and cut across a storm drain on a corner.  When I stepped on the manhole cover on the drain, it flipped up and I dropped through.  I found myself sitting there with both legs in the hole and the cover standing on edge resting against my shin.  It took a little trouble to extricate myself.  Now I've got both shins badly bruised and sore.  I'm just glad I didn't break anything.  I called the head of the street department and let him know that one of their manhole covers is ajar.  I don't know how it got loose.  Normally they're on there solid.

I'll never be able to view old cartoons about manhole plunges the same way again.

Oh my! I'm glad the outcome wasn't worse.

+1.  That must have been quite startling and sounds very painful.  Yikes just thinking about what did happen, let alone what could have happened.  I hope your shins feel better soon.

[Harlow2]

Today I was walking home for lunch and cut across a storm drain on a corner.  When I stepped on the manhole cover on the drain, it flipped up and I dropped through.  I found myself sitting there with both legs in the hole and the cover standing on edge resting against my shin.  It took a little trouble to extricate myself.  Now I've got both shins badly bruised and sore.  I'm just glad I didn't break anything.  I called the head of the street department and let him know that one of their manhole covers is ajar.  I don't know how it got loose.  Normally they're on there solid.

I'll never be able to view old cartoons about manhole plunges the same way again.


Wow, apl68, glad you are mostly ok. One of those things I always trust to stay where they are supposed to

Oh my! I'm glad the outcome wasn't worse.

+1.  That must have been quite startling and sounds very painful.  Yikes just thinking about what did happen, let alone what could have happened.  I hope your shins feel better soon.