the "things you wish you could say" thread

[ergative]

Maybe you should waylay the President in the parking lot and beg him to renew you for one more year.  Then he can kick it to the Provost, who will kick it to the Dean, who will demand an explanation from me.  THAT should motivate me to bring you back for another year.

Oh wait, you already DID THIS.  And how is THAT working out for you?

Oh, wow.

[science.expat]

Maybe you should waylay the President in the parking lot and beg him to renew you for one more year.  Then he can kick it to the Provost, who will kick it to the Dean, who will demand an explanation from me.  THAT should motivate me to bring you back for another year.

Oh wait, you already DID THIS.  And how is THAT working out for you?

Oh, wow.

I'm going to borrow your tag line if you don't mind. I'm leading a portion of my uni's major organisational change and the consultation period closes today.

[FishProf]

Maybe you should waylay the President in the parking lot and beg him to renew you for one more year.  Then he can kick it to the Provost, who will kick it to the Dean, who will demand an explanation from me.  THAT should motivate me to bring you back for another year.

Oh wait, you already DID THIS.  And how is THAT working out for you?

Oh, wow.

I'm going to borrow your tag line if you don't mind. I'm leading a portion of my uni's major organisational change and the consultation period closes today.

Have at it.  It wasn't mine to begin with.

[apl68]

You two youths who have been gaming on library computers that are supposed to be reserved for educational work, cutting up, and refusing to sign in or listen to library staff members who are trying to enforce the rules--we are NOT going to have this sort of disrespect.  We have rules, we have them for good reason, and you are required to follow them the same as everybody else.  Those dirty looks you've been using to intimidate female staff members and patrons are especially uncalled-for.  Our assistant director, who is black, has already spoken to you, and black patrons have complained about you, so don't you dare try to play the race card.  This is your last chance to straighten up before you are asked to leave. 

[fishbrains]

Your insistence that everyone is either an ally or an enemy isn't working well for you. And your absolutism is forcing you (and your allies) to pretend that you are perfectly correct 100% of the time. To keep this short, your attitude is self-destructive and unsustainable.

[kiana]

Your lying/stalling is just making it worse. I'm not going to drop this.

[FishProf]

This.  This right here?  This is why I am stepping down.

That you are asking me not to, at this late hour, is rich.  You aren't the only reason, but you are in the top 5.

[mamselle]

To all those folks who've ever asked me, "But do you really Neeeeeed all those books? Can't you get rid of some?"

Nope.

With a week to go before the second of two conference papers this spring, and while still teaching online and continuing to work on 2 chapters for a book proposal, I've yet not to have all I needed to do a reasonably decent job, at least by my standards.

So, yes.

I need them.

M.

[fishbrains]

To all those folks who've ever asked me, "But do you really Neeeeeed all those books? Can't you get rid of some?"

Nope.

With a week to go before the second of two conference papers this spring, and while still teaching online and continuing to work on 2 chapters for a book proposal, I've yet not to have all I needed to do a reasonably decent job, at least by my standards.

So, yes.

I need them.

M.

Student: [Looking around my office] "Have you read all these books?"
Me: "Nope. I'm a regular Gatsby!"
Student: [blank, confused look]
Me: [heavy sigh]

[mamselle]

Yup.

;--》

M.

[Vkw10]

"Wow, look at all the post-it notes and highlighting in this book! You're not supposed to write in books!"

Umm, that's why I buy my own copies, so I can mark them up.

[EdnaMode]

Dear Administrator,

It's finals week. Stop sending emails about things we have to do "urgently." None of it is actually that urgent. I know, I asked the person who used to have your job. Some of us have projects to collect and grade, exams to give and grade, etc., etc., etc. Your stuff can wait. It really can.

Not so warm regards,

EM

PS - I'm filtering all your emails to a different folder for the time being

[AmLitHist]

Dear Dean,

While I'm really interested in that project and would really like to work with the dept. chair from another campus on it [and is there any way you could swap our dept. chair to bring him here?], there is NO way in hell I'm volunteering to get involved. 

All else being equal, the money is very good for a not-much-work paid summer release,. However, the U.S. Mint doesn't print enough money in a year to get me to work with our batshit-crazy Golden Girl campus President, especially after she intimated to my weasel-y chair that she's just looking for a reason to fire me based on the unhinged ravings of a 0.29-GPA student who's been taking failing classes hers since before I arrived in 2004.

I know you were just forwarding GG's email to everyone in our department, so with all due respect, Oh HELL No, but thanks for offering anyway.

ALH

[Am I the only one who gets irrationally pissed off at things like this?]

[FishProf]

[Am I the only one who gets irrationally pissed off at things like this?]

What was the irrational part?

[apl68]

Pushy telemarketer, I've had a hectic afternoon dealing with assorted things, some of which have come up unexpectedly.  I've been unable to take care of everything I had planned to do as it is.  I don't have the time to deal with you.  No means no!