The Fora: A Higher Education Community

I agree that writing "Dear Sir" when you know the person's name is peculiar and not following the rules. If you know their name, you should always use their name. Otherwise it looks as if you are trying to imitate a form letter.

The use of "Sir" and "Mr." and so on is really about demarcating status, isn't it? That's why Kay (or Mr. Sixteen, or Sir) would like a receptionist (lower in status) to address him as "Mr. Sixteen," but the doctor (equal or higher status) can call him "Kay."

The other former model was about how well you knew the person — kind of like the use of "vous" and "tu" in French. So friends could call say "Kay," but, say, business acquaintances would say "Mr. Sixteen." I don't think this one has been in force since the 1930s or so.

The advantages of sticking to an outdated system is that one can claim the moral high ground and victim status at the same time. "I'm only doing what's right, and people criticize me for it!" Thus I knew a guy in England who insisted on referring to all modern prices in guineas and shillings. He was very proud of sticking to what's "traditional and right," and took umbrage at those who rolled their eyes. And of course those who feel they are not accorded the respect they deserve will tend to insist on being addressed by a title, however much the modern age has moved on. I remember a duchess in a documentary complaining that online drop-down forms (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., etc.) rarely included an option suitable for a duchess. The Oxbridge drop-down menus do still include those, along with "Lord High" and "HRH" and a lot of other very amusing options.

A 70ish year-old man challenged me to a fight at the gym today (!).

He thought I was making too much noise. For context, I was on the incline bench press with ~200lbs on the barbell. I do not grunt. I do not drop the barbell when I'm done my set. I just place it back in the bracket slowly. Yes, it makes noise, because it's metal on metal and pretty heavy. But not that much noise, especially for a gym. He swore at me a bit and asked that I make less noise next time. I said I was sorry it had bothered him, and would endeavour to be quieter. And then added--admittedly, this was petty of me--that he could ask more politely next time. So he threw out his arms and challenged me to a fight. I trust he felt like a Big Man.

But why the fuck would I want to fight you?


Because I'm petty and carry a grudge for always, I think that when I see him at the gym in the future I will wave and say 'hello' loudly.

Quote from: Kron3007 on Today at 02:15:27 PM

Quote from: apl68 on Today at 12:41:02 PMI'm not sure how cats have a reputation in some circles as "cleaner" than dogs when they're essentially walking balls of allergens.  And I've known them to stink up a house worse than a dog can.

Allergens do not equate to dirty.

My last dog literally ate poo and rolled in rotten animal carcasses.  I have never seen a cat do either...

Actually...I have.  Although it was a long time ago.

Quote from: Puget on September 27, 2023, 03:13:07 PM

Quote from: OneMoreYear on September 27, 2023, 12:26:00 PMRicochet the squirrely tortie has decided to partially domesticate herself. She has now decided that sitting on the couch next to a human is a good thing. When I work from home on my laptop on the couch, she hangs out much of the day next to me allowing petting/scritches. She'll even do this when there is a 2nd human in the room (my SO). Previously, it appeared she was afraid of being outnumbered, as she'd only hang out in high spaces or across the room if we were both in the living room. It took 7 years, but this is considerable progress.  She had been cuddling in short bursts, but even that was inconsistent.

One of my childhood cats did not hang out near people until the last couple years of her life. Sometimes you play the long game.

How cute-- Cats work in mysterious ways!

Little Calico just in the last few weeks has decided that she is a bed sleeping cat. Before, both cats would come up for pets in the morning but neither would sleep on the bed at night. Then Little Calico discovered she could get pets while I was reading in bed a night too (shocking discovery!). And I guess once you're all cozy on the bed, why get off to go sleep elsewhere?

Aww, and good job to Richochet and Little Calico.

Quote from: the_geneticist on September 26, 2023, 10:29:10 AM

Quote from: FishProf on September 25, 2023, 06:45:51 AMThor, Loki, and Elektra are coming to school today for some animal behavior obsrvations.

Fingers, toes, and toe-beans crossed

Awww!  I wish I had an academic reason to bring my cats (and that the cats wouldn't just be freaked out of their minds the entire time).

I second this!

Quote from: apl68 on Today at 12:41:02 PMI'm not sure how cats have a reputation in some circles as "cleaner" than dogs when they're essentially walking balls of allergens.  And I've known them to stink up a house worse than a dog can.

Allergens do not equate to dirty.

My last dog literally ate poo and rolled in rotten animal carcasses.  I have never seen a cat do either...

Quote from: little bongo on Today at 09:51:14 AMpreparing for an academic life, succeeding in obtaining terminal degrees and other necessary certifications, and then winding up in a place where you have to say "Pardon me [sir or ma'am]".... It's a situation you have to meet and accept in one way or another, and K16 has found his way. "Miserable" or not, I think we all search for some sort of meaning and dignity in our lot.

This is me, man, the boat I find myself in.  I'm dreading starting over and have the excuse that I am doing final edits on some creative writing and working as I post on a book contract for a monograph----but soon enough I can no longer use these as excuses.

I get my friend K16. 

I do, however, gently suggest that the world will never meet our ideological beliefs, that is the route to madness.

I'm not sure how cats have a reputation in some circles as "cleaner" than dogs when they're essentially walking balls of allergens.  And I've known them to stink up a house worse than a dog can.

I sometimes run Camtasia on my personal laptop to record a lecture. The built-in microphone is okay to start, but then the laptop heats up and the fan comes on and gradually gets louder and louder. After a while, the whine from the fan is really annoying if I record audio through the built-in mic. It's much better with my cheap external microphone. I didn't realize it was a problem until I listened to a lecture that I had recorded.

Highs near 90 for the next week, with a couple of potentially record-breaking days on the way.  It does sound like the pattern will change and fall might actually arrive next weekend, though.

 A bit of context:
Record Number of Americans Have Never Married and Never Will

QuoteKey points

• One out of four of today's 50-year-olds will have been single their whole lives.
• Around the world, rates of marriage are declining and the percentages of people who get close to 50 without ever having married are increasing.
• Half of all solo single people don't want a romantic relationship or even a date.