unsolicited medical advice

[kaysixteen]

As I probably have shared here, I do have several chronic medical conditions, at least two of which are quite physically visible, esp in summer when I do wear shorts.  Many friends and relatives, fellow church members, and occasionally strangers, think nothing of offering unsolicited medical advice, send internet links, even youtube videos.  Some of these I do actually look at, but how can I politely say, esp when someone asks me later if I have done x, well, 'no thanks', esp if their advice runs, ahem, contrary to one of my doc's?

[Langue_doc]

Why would you discuss your medical issues with people who have no relevant professional expertise? Just shut them down. You can do so politely by saying that such-and-such a topic is between you and the specialist. Only medical professionals who are board certified (and are currently treating you) are qualified/authorized to diagnose and treat patients.

[Ruralguy]

Just politely say you have it handled, thank you. You'll get repeat offenders or new-comers doing the same thing, but that's just life.

[kaysixteen]

I get that, up to a point.  What I am also concerned with, however, is how to deal with busybody strangers.   Leg lymphedema is obvious enough in the snowy wintertime, but in the summer, where I will wear shorts whenever I can, you can see not only that my legs are swollen, but also the fairly severe elephantiasis and assorted problems resulting from these skin issues, which make people cringe and often say, well... you get the idea.   A couple of years back a c. 8yo girl in a local supermarket made some sort of cringeworthy remark, right in front of both me and her mother.  Neither one of us said anything-- I am old enough to know what my mom would have said, which essentially would be to order me to apologize.   I would of course, had the young lass done that, immediately and cheerfully accepted her apology and even offered to explain to her what I had, should her mother approve.  But as it is I just sort of sucked it up.  This sort of remark from an 8yo is essentially irrelevant... but when unsolicited advice and woe-is-you type remarks 'I feel sorry for you' coming from 60-something colleagues, not so much.  Sorry for the word salad.

[Langue_doc]

Medical information, as noted in all communications from the physician, insurance, etc. is confidential and therefore private. Just stare them in the eye. If you wish to respond, an icy "Excuse me?" would suffice.

[Puget]

I get that, up to a point.  What I am also concerned with, however, is how to deal with busybody strangers.   Leg lymphedema is obvious enough in the snowy wintertime, but in the summer, where I will wear shorts whenever I can, you can see not only that my legs are swollen, but also the fairly severe elephantiasis and assorted problems resulting from these skin issues, which make people cringe and often say, well... you get the idea.   A couple of years back a c. 8yo girl in a local supermarket made some sort of cringeworthy remark, right in front of both me and her mother.  Neither one of us said anything-- I am old enough to know what my mom would have said, which essentially would be to order me to apologize.   I would of course, had the young lass done that, immediately and cheerfully accepted her apology and even offered to explain to her what I had, should her mother approve.  But as it is I just sort of sucked it up.  This sort of remark from an 8yo is essentially irrelevant... but when unsolicited advice and woe-is-you type remarks 'I feel sorry for you' coming from 60-something colleagues, not so much.  Sorry for the word salad.

It's understandable you are sensitive about these comments, but it sounds like you may be reading ill intent where there may not be any.

Children are naturally curious about bodies, especially ones that may look unusual to them. They will comment on all sorts of things. Certainly they need to learn that is not polite to talk about other people's bodies, and you could try gently saying so, but it is not your job to educate someone else's child so ignoring it is also an option. 

It sounds like your colleague was just trying to be sympathetic -- it doesn't seem unusual for colleagues to express concern and ask after each other's health. But if you don't want to talk about it, a polite "Thanks for your concern but I prefer not to discuss my health" should suffice.

[Ruralguy]

I just say "Its good, got it covered. Thanks for the concern though."

[kaysixteen]

The teacher in me would want to explain to the young lass what I had, and why it looked like it did, but of course I would not do so without mom's permission.

I get that a colleague could say 'I feel sorry for you' once, and be simply seriously reflecting her concern.  But this one person has probably said this a half-dozen times, and now I just, when I see her up ahead, try to walk in another direction.