Midlife crisis?

[EdnaMode]

I've often said, and my older brother agrees, I was born at the age of 30 years old, was always a little old lady at heart, very serious, quite nerdy, etc. Around the age of 30, after I finished grad school, I finally caught up with myself, but then, my father passed away suddenly and that completely upended my life. I started rethinking everything about my life and priorities, which I suppose was my midlife crisis. Within a matter of a couple of years, I ended an 11 year relationship when I realized I was nowhere vaguely near the top of their list of priorities, quit a job that had been sucking out my soul a bit at a time for years, and moved across the country for a job in academia that an old friend recommended I apply for because they were retiring (I'd taught in grad school and loved it).

By the time I turned 40, I was in a new place, surrounded by new people, and completely alone for the first time in many years. I loved it. In the years since, I've bought a sports car as a second vehicle, have settled into being a professor, still do consulting in the engineering field, and have met the love of my life. I've never been happier.

[apl68]

I didn't really have a midlife crisis, but I did have a crisis in midlife.  A couple of weeks after my 40th birthday, my wife left me.  With hindsight, it was probably the best favor she ever did me, given that she had proven abusive and untrustworthy, and showed signs of mental illness.  It was still a pretty devastating experience.

I got through it largely by spending more weekends visiting my parents.  That was when Dad belatedly got me into motorcycle riding, which has been a thing in our family for many years.  Eventually I came back out of my shell where I live and became more active in church and in the community.  You can accomplish a lot more when you don't have to deal with abuse and mental illness at home.

Still active in church and in the community, and glad for those opportunities.  Now burned out at work, but that's more down to what has happened there in the years since COVID, not a mid-life thing.

[histchick]

My midlife crisis came just before the pandemic, while my brother was incarcerated, my mom was being treated for endometrial cancer, and I was going through late perimenopause (with all the hot flashes, rages, and lack of sleep that came with it). There was some online shopping, but mostly I was just tired, sad, and sweating my face off most of the time.

[spork]

What process have people used to identify a pursuit that will give them a sense of purpose? My wife seems to entered her midlife crisis, and her job has lost whatever meaningfulness it once had.