Awkward stories about meeting hero scholars

[euro_trash]

When I was a PhD student at a *huge* international conference, I was of course nervy, insecure, and hoping to be invisible.

As I had too much coffee, I went to the men's, and so I'm standing at the urinal, and good lord the biggest name in my field, an absolute Goliath, comes and stands at the urinal next to me. Of course I didn't say anything. That would be weird. I was trembling with awe.

Until he splattered all over my shoe and didn't wash his hands. It was at that moment that my hero scholar became a bit smaller. I contemplated this as I wiped off my shoe.

What are your awkward hero scholar stories?

[nescafe]

As a grad student, I helped organize a regional conference in my field and was stoked to lead the committee responsible for wrangling our keynote speaker. We invited one of my heroes in the discipline, and I was elated. The dept put up funds for the keynote speaker to come to dinner with us grad students after the conference. I told myself "lean in" and sat next to him, even though I was terrified.

During dinner, he told me that my dissertation topic was "bullshit."

Never meet your heroes.

[Bede the Vulnerable]

At the big conference in our subfield, I was seated at the dinner table right across from The Big Name.  Not terribly awkward, so much as disappointing:  He spoke about himself for over two hours.  I thought he'd be fascinating.  He wasn't even mildly interesting.

I no longer have heroes among scholars.

[Chemystery]

During my fourth year of grad school I gave a talk at our national conference.  Later in the day I learned that a international scholar whose work was foundational to mine had been at my talk.  He had chatted with one of my group members and told him that he was really impressed with my work.  My coworker offered to introduce him to me, but he indicated that he would be too intimidated.

While I have to confess there was definitely something of an ego boost in learning that, I was very disappointed that I missed out on the opportunity to meet one of my heroes.

[apl68]

I guess I've never met a scholar I idolized. 

There was one time during grad school when our department hosted a Big Name in the discipline, though not anybody in whom I personally was interested (It didn't help that he was one of those academics outside of psychology who loved using the psychoanalytic theories of Sigmund Fraud as a lens through which to view the world).  A fellow grad--not a particular admirer of the Big Name either, but less reticent and more in favor with the department's heads--did get a chance to meet him.  According to him, the Big Name ignored his presence to concentrate on those he obviously considered more important. 

In fairness the famous guest did have a lot of people wanting to meet him, but the way he blew off a grad student so totally made my friend feel that the Big Name was acting a little big for his britches.  He said afterward that star academics should sometimes get the same treatment the Romans supposedly gave victorious generals during public triumphs--have somebody of humble origins come to them at some point during the proceedings and remind them "You are but a man!"

[youllneverwalkalone]

Until he splattered all over my shoe and didn't wash his hands. It was at that moment that my hero scholar became a bit smaller. I contemplated this as I wiped off my shoe.

I am gonna raise your pretty dope urinal story with having to carry your hero to his room cause he got shitface and blackout drunk in the aftermath of the conference dinner for everyone to see.

* This actually happened to my office mate and fellow PhD student. I was at the dinner too, but left early cause I had to give a talk in the first morning session, which in hindsight was a good thing cause at least I didn't get to see my hero's image shattered.   

[geoteo]

Two stories:

I was a sixteen-year-old science nerd when I was taken, with a group of other such students, to hear J. Robert Oppenheimer speak at a local university.  I knew he was a scientist, but not that he was an icon.  After the talk, a number of us gathered with him for a Q and A in the corridor, and I was in the front row.  He asked me to step back so he could talk to the boys.

Many years later, my interns and I were at Goddard Space Flight Center.  Our mentor informed us that two important scientists would be present in a few days, and we were all going to lunch at a Lebanese restaurant.  In order to prepare for this meeting (so the mentor would look good), we read the Book written by one of them, and brainstormed questions we could ask.  The mentor's last adjuration to us was "No dumb questions!"  "You mean don't talk about baseball?"  "Exactly!"

At the restaurant we ordered shwarma and other good food, and the scientists elected to sit on the patio, where we could hardly hear each other speak.  Nonetheless, we readied our questions as the senior scientist gazed around the table and said,  "So, what do think about the Yankees' chances for the pennant?"

[Aster]

As a graduate student at a formal dinner, I was seated next to Huge Name In Field scholar. I struggled mightily to think of SOMETHING to say that both acknowledged that I followed Huge Name's work but didn't make me sound like a butt kisser.

me: "I saw you on the back cover of Hot Field magazine."

Huge Name: "Yeah."

And that was it.

To this day, I feel like Baby in Dirty Dancing.
"I carried a watermelon...???"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VyaXkK0I7s

[traductio]

I've told these stories enough times that anyone who knows me will immediately recognize me, but I can live with that.

When I was in junior high, Ray Bradbury came to talk at a local college. I absolutely idolized him, so my dad, being a cool dad, took me to the talk. It was surprisingly sparsely attended. After the talk, there was a line for autographs, and I got in it with my copy of The Halloween Tree. When I got to the front of the line, I handed it to him and said -- with all the eloquence I could muster -- "uuuuuunnnnngggghhhh."

That was it. That was all I could say to my hero.

Years later, I was at a writer's conference, mingling with writers. (It was really cool.) There was a poet I really admired, and I managed to work my way into her circle. She was really pleasant, but I -- a lit major, totally aware of the nature of fiction and poetry and literature -- was nervous. So nervous that I said (this memory is in slow motion for me, still today, as if I'm watching myself make a mistake I can't stop making) -- "Are the people in your book real?"

She answered no and turned to talk to someone less dense.

So, not embarrassing for my heroes, but rather embarrassing for me! (My kids think it's funny when I tell either story. They like walking around asking "Are the people in your book real?")

[Dismal]

I was happy to get invited for a drink with big name heroine (who was an expert on X) and her medium name friend.  But the whole time she kept talking about her expertise on X and kept asking me how important I thought X was and if my colleagues frequently talked about X.  My colleagues never talk about X (so many other letters in the alphabet!), so this ended up being a one-drink meeting.

I was on the board of a local professional group in my field.  We were so excited to get a Nobel prize winner to give the main talk at our small event.  This was before Uber.  He gave us a receipt for reimbursement including almost $400 for a car (not a rental car, but a limo and a driver) although the airport is less than 10 miles away.

[mamselle]

Last night I attended a program with three very good speakers, one of whose work I've admired for a long time at a distance.

I tried to talk to her about some work I'm doing that might actually be going someplace. She only wanted to talk to the other two people present who had published at her level and were clearly good buddies--nice for them, but it was a bit hermetic.

Finally they left, and I spoke with her, briefly. Short replies, very brusque, no interest in the work (which actually does overlap with hers somewhat, and others in that area do take an interest, so I don't think I was being too self-promotional).

I asked if we might meet sometime (as I've done with others in her capacity as a visiting scholar) and she regaled me with how much she had to do and how behind she already was (uh, classes just started?) and made it clear she had no time, nor was she interested in making any.

I smiled, nodded, and said I understood, but I found myself almost in tears at the sense that a little bit of warmth and humanity would have made it easier, and they weren't to be had. People in this field are almost always welcoming of others and very collegial in their interests in others' work, so I was a bit shocked, in fact....I'd never heard it said of her that such congeniality was lacking.

Just sorry to see it; I guess I'll just need to get some things out on my own, "and then she'll take notice!" (Not.)

M. 

[Volhiker78]

Many years ago, I was at an interdisciplinary conference.  The evening dinner was assigned seating and the organizers grouped scientists from different disciplines at each table.  A big name in my field was the only other person at my table in my discipline.  He was a total jerk - talked incessantly about how important he was,  how various procedures were named after him and surely they had heard his name, right?  Of course, except for me, no one at the table had any idea who he was or what he had done.  He drove the rest of the people from the table.  It was sad and pathetic and I was embarrassed. 

[Vhagar]

As a graduate student at a formal dinner, I was seated next to Huge Name In Field scholar. I struggled mightily to think of SOMETHING to say that both acknowledged that I followed Huge Name's work but didn't make me sound like a butt kisser.

me: "I saw you on the back cover of Hot Field magazine."

Huge Name: "Yeah."

And that was it.

I was actually pretty successful with something similar. I was trying to come up with something to start a conversation with Dr. Big Name. My opening line was, "I heard your interview on NPR." He was so excited. He called his wife over and told her that I'd heard his interview. Then he sat down and talked to me for a while. I wondered if no one else had listed to the NPR thing. It was pretty good. 

Another, as a grad student: I was walking through the exhibit hall at our major conference and saw Dr. My Hero doing a book signing. This person's work was the foundation for my dissertation. I had to go into the hallway and collect myself. I then went in, bought a book, and asked her to sign it while telling her about her influence on my work. She was very kind and wrote a lovely note in the book. 

Not all of my run-ins with fame of been good but these two really were very positive.