Ashes to What?

[Juvenal]

The ashes of both of my parents are--well, not far off (I can admit to "garage") here.  Do any of the Fora have this problem of just what to do with them, lacking pre-obit suggestions?  I will also say that my father's ashes have, among them, those of his favorite poodle.  This seems kind of strange when "what to do with them" comes to "now what?"  I live, not far from the ocean, and the prospect of marine scattering seems best, but--somehow!--digging into the garden seems not disrespectful.  Thoughts?

[dismalist]

The ashes of both of my parents are--well, not far off (I can admit to "garage") here.  Do any of the Fora have this problem of just what to do with them, lacking pre-obit suggestions?  I will also say that my father's ashes have, among them, those of his favorite poodle.  This seems kind of strange when "what to do with them" comes to "now what?"  I live, not far from the ocean, and the prospect of marine scattering seems best, but--somehow!--digging into the garden seems not disrespectful.  Thoughts?

My wife's ashes are in an urn, displayed on a small table. Fresh flowers every week. I occasionally talk to the ashes!

When I go, daughter will put both our ashes out to sea.

[ohnoes]

A relative was very specific about the body of water they'd like for a final resting place, so honoring that wish was very easy with an eco urn.  If anyone wanted a garden burial, I'd be all for that, too.

[Puget]

I don't think it matters to the deceased (your beliefs may of course differ on that), so the scattering is really for the living, as a way of remembering and honoring their memory.

My paternal grandfather's ashes have been scattered in many places he had connections to, by his children and grandchildren. Most in high mountain lakes and passes that he loved, some in the river he fished and boated in his youth. We have photos of each place, and my aunt, who is a historian, is incorporating them into a family history.

My maternal grandmother kept my maternal grandfather's ashes until she too returned to ash. Then my mother had both at home for awhile, before honoring my grandmother's request that they go into the lake where they spent most of their adult lives before moving to be near my parents and me in my childhood. After the many years of caregiving, I think it gave my mother a sense of closure and relief to have completed this last duty to them.

[sinenomine]

Both my parents requested that their ashes be disposed of by the funeral home, but the one that handled my mother's cremation insisted on giving us the ashes. One of my brothers took them on a trip where he scattered them at the various places my mother had lived and enjoyed visiting, texting images along the way to the rest of us.

[Antiphon1]

Every time I think of scattering ashes, I get a flashback to The Big Lebowski.  We buried an elderly relative's ashes in a very old family cemetery last year.  She requested cremation because the county no longer allows traditional burial at that location, but will look the other way if the family chooses to bury the ashes and place a headstone.  So, we took the post hole digger out to the cemetery one Saturday and placed the urn in a hole next to her parents' graves.  The headstone was delivered a month or so afterward. 

[jimbogumbo]

Personally, I would be quite happy to be in a garden.

[Wahoo Redux]

My mother-in-law requested that her ashes be spread on her parents' graves, which my brother-in-law followed.

My nieces took my sister's ashes to spread in a meadow near our family's summer cabin----we'll see if they actually do that.  My sister left no clear directive, we just think this would be something she would have wanted.

Do whatever seems most meaningful to you.

I'm sorry for your loss.