Drowning in my first year as a faculty member

[mamselle]

This may have been hinted at above, but I'll also say, don't underestimate the need for some regenerative spiritual/physical/mental practice that regularly nurtures and sustains you in some way.

One friend does a long walk through the woods, then spends 2 hours in a sitting meditation space, then walks back to her car every Saturday.

Another acquaintance observes Shabbbos from Friday sundown to Saturday: hooding the computer and requiring the whole family to park their phones in the charging station, only attending shul and reading non-work-related materials, etc.

I have a variety of choices for church services, as well as additional dance, gallery, or music events--but my soul knows and sets up a clamor if I don't attend to its needs as well.

Another friend has planted and solo-manages a large communal garden, gratis, and spends a day there each week.

And so on.

Not because "you'll work better" but because we need refreshment and re-centering as a part of our healthy being.

M.

[fishbrains]

The best advice I received from an "old timer": "Don't let them work you to death. At the end of it, all you're gonna get is a piece of cake and a boot out the door." 

I'll add that on days when it all turns to $hit, learn to say, "F*ck it! At least I know what not to do next time." In short, try to forgive yourself for making mistakes. And don't dwell on them. I like to think of myself as a professional athlete who has to shake off that touchdown, home run, soccer goal, or whatever was just scored against them and then get ready for the next play like it never happened. It's an adulting skill I'm always working on.

And find people/events/things that make you laugh.

The first two years suck, but take solace in the fact that no one wants to do the search committee work to replace you. Hang tough!

[newprofwife]

Husband is tenured now after a few years. The first year was awesome in the sense that we were so happy that he actually got a TT job. But it was hell in the sense that we relocated to a new place and had to get a new place, learn a new town, make new friends, get set up in new place (get new bank accounts, etc.). And prepping for new classes was hell. And then there was the worry of what if he doesn't get tenure, and we have to figure out plan B. Plan B was we both get jobs outside of academia if it didn't work out. Or he could try interviewing at other places and we start over. I think that even if you are insanely busy the first 1-3 years, you should still find time to spend with people, whether that is making new friends, dating, seeing family. Also, plan your vacations and take some time off even if it is a short vacation. Also, try to do some relaxing things. Even if you have crazy days where you are working 12 hours, take some time off at night to go exercise, watch a movie. 

On last thing, as a spouse who works in higher education, I have befriended many junior faculty. Some of them were not good at saying no to service. All of them got tenure but the ones who never say no are a sort of martyr/workaholics. They complain about how they have to work Monday-Sunday and never go out. My husband has said no to some things since the beginning of his career. I have had to say no as well-any professional needs to know what to say no to and how to say no.

The ones who never say no are miserable and basically have no life outside of their work.