Research leaves when spouse has 9-to-5

[Kron3007]

If your spouse can or can't take a leave of absence is really independent of this and would depend on their position and the university.  Where I am, our unionized staff can request unpaid leaves of absence and this "cannot be unduly denied..." so it is not outside the realm of possibility but depends on their specific situation. 

 

[fourhats]

I've done this too and it worked out well. This was before Skype, so it would be much easier now. And don't think that having children (down the road) makes it impossible either. I once took my children abroad with me for six months while my spouse stayed behind. They attended school abroad and made friends. It changed their lives to have that experience.

[Morris Zapp]

I had a Fulbright a few years back at an institute abroad that hosted a lot of foreign scholars and practically NONE of them brought spouses and family for the term or the year.  IN every case, it was because the spouse had a profession that didn't provide leave, kids had school, etc.

I'm actually a mom (despite the moniker) and my husband stayed back at home, managing the homefront and 3 teenagers.  (He's still threatening to write a book about the semester that he had to be a "Cheerleader Mom" in our large, very Southern high school.  Don't even ask . .. )  This experience turned out to be awesome for the whole family.  EVen now, we have family rituals (baking on Tuesdays) that he invented with the kids, and even now that they are in college, they will call him for advice and general soothing as often as they call me.  (We did have to throw away a rather expensive Oriental rug because apparently I"m the only one who ever puts the cat out.  Good to know.)

But here's the thing:  In the country I was in a significant proportion of the folks actually getting Fulbrights ended up being mediocre old man scholars with stay at home wives who were willing to go abroad for a semester or a year.  Nearly everyone else, it appears, had self-selected out of the pool.  But (here's the good part)  In the country where I was a Fulbrighter, the director of the Fulbright COmmission was actually a woman with youngish children at home and when she began her term as Fulbright Director she immediately noticed this and took steps to address it.  It was due largely to her leadership that Fulbright created a new program where essentially you can win a Fulbright and then break it up -- taking, for example, 3 2-month research trips spread out over 3 years (1 every summer), rather than having to show up for 6 months at a stretch.

Here's the link:  https://www.cies.org/fulbright-flex-awards

ALSO, It's really important for scholars who are unable to take a traditional grant due to the fact that it's six months or a year and assumes a SAH spouse, Spouse without a job, etc.  to SPEAK UP.  If you are sent a solicitation for a grant and you realize it really doesn't work for women with children, etc.  send them back a note saying:  I would have liked to apply for this, and here's why I can't.  Suggest that they look at Fulbright FLEX and consider how they might attract more diverse scholars through modifying the terms of the grant.  ASK for a modification.  (At the research institute I was at abroad, people had actually negotiated modifications to their grants so that they could leave early or go home in the middle or arrive late, etc.)  Don't just ASSUME that you are the problem.  You are not!  THe fact that organizations seem unaware of these very real issues is the problem.

SOrry for the rant.  I feel really passionate about it.
 

[rouroboros]

That is great to hear, and an excellent point.  It does seem that these fellowships were designed for men with stay at home spouses--not to mention an old economic model that assumed one salary would be enough to support a household.  I'd noticed that Fulbright had started offering short-term fellowships, but didn't realize that was the origin.  The collective wisdom would appear to be to look for shorter term fellowships and discussion with a supportive partner.  Thanks, all.

[apl68]

That is great to hear, and an excellent point.  It does seem that these fellowships were designed for men with stay at home spouses--not to mention an old economic model that assumed one salary would be enough to support a household.  I'd noticed that Fulbright had started offering short-term fellowships, but didn't realize that was the origin.  The collective wisdom would appear to be to look for shorter term fellowships and discussion with a supportive partner.  Thanks, all.

It does show how sometimes a third way can be found, if an institution takes the trouble to look for one.

[emprof]

I'm in a similar boat: my spouse has a 9-5 job at my current academic institution. And we have a young child, to boot. I had dreamed about us all decamping to a residential fellowship for a year once I'm eligible for sabbatical, but the reality is that even if he could take a year's leave (or quit and find a new job when we returned), we couldn't afford to cover expenses both at home and abroad without his salary and benefits. And we'd have to give up our kid's daycare spot, which would be worse in some ways.

That said, one senior mentor recently told me that IF the fellowship was prestigious enough (like a Fulbright), it might be possible to get the dean's office to find remote work for the spouse, or give them leave for a year. There's no harm in asking!

[mamselle]

Yes. In such conversations, in some cases, it may be worth it to leverage the idea that the award confers a bit of glitter and glamour on the institution as well, and you're so much wanting to share the wealth...

;--}

M. (not at all cynical from her years of work as an EA in academic institutions...)