Hypothetically Speaking...

[Nightshade]

I thought it might be fun to start a thread in which we could posit and then collectively mull over those hypothetical moments one inevitably contemplates as one goes about daily academic duties. To that end, hypothetically speaking, how would one deal with two support animals in a single classroom (small, in my case) that despise one another? I've actually had a wonderful experience with support animals in my classes so far—well-behaved sweethearts, all— but was wondering what the protocol might be in the rare instance that two animals create havoc worthy of a Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler comedy?

[ergative]

Fun! I'll play.

Hypothetically speaking, I'd ask the two people with their support animals to leave. The reason there are such strict ADA protections on what type of animal is protected as a service animal, and the reason it's so hard to get an animal certified as a service animal, is because they are trained not to get into fights and so on. It's an agreement: we protect your right to a service animal, if you ensure that your service animal will not cause trouble.

If the service animal is causing trouble, the agreement is off.  It comes under the 'reasonable accommodations' tag: It is not a reasonable accommodation to have to teach while animals are fighting among the desks.

Here's another hypothetical moment: What would you do if the chalkboard fell off the wall? Continue teaching? Dismiss class because the room is trying to kill you and you need to go have the vapors?

[RatGuy]

What would you do if the chalkboard fell off the wall? Continue teaching? Dismiss class because the room is trying to kill you and you need to go have the vapors?

Hypothetically, I'm not sure I'd want to teach in a room with chalkboards instead of dry erase boards. If a chalkboard fell off the wall, class would be dismissed.

Not hypothetically -- I once taught in a building that had previously been rendered unusable by Hurricane Katrina. It was not initially a classroom, but some other building repurposed for classes as our satellite campus was wiped out by the Storm. In the middle of a lecture, two panels fell from the ceiling, releasing particles and dust and a hopeless amount of spiders. You better believe that I cancelled class right then and there.

[Caracal]

What would you do if the chalkboard fell off the wall? Continue teaching? Dismiss class because the room is trying to kill you and you need to go have the vapors?

Hypothetically, I'm not sure I'd want to teach in a room with chalkboards instead of dry erase boards. If a chalkboard fell off the wall, class would be dismissed.

Not hypothetically -- I once taught in a building that had previously been rendered unusable by Hurricane Katrina. It was not initially a classroom, but some other building repurposed for classes as our satellite campus was wiped out by the Storm. In the middle of a lecture, two panels fell from the ceiling, releasing particles and dust and a hopeless amount of spiders. You better believe that I cancelled class right then and there.

I once had a wasp flying around the classroom. Every time it took flight, my whole class would suddenly duck and a number of students were running for cover. I finally decided that even though it didn't seem particularly likely to sting anyone, I was going to have to deal with it. I borrowed a book from a student, stood on a chair and whacked it when it landed on the exit sign. That dealt with the wasp, but the exit sign also came loose and dangled there supported on one side for the rest of the semester. I kept thinking I was going to get in trouble in some way...

[apl68]

What would you do if the chalkboard fell off the wall? Continue teaching? Dismiss class because the room is trying to kill you and you need to go have the vapors?

Hypothetically, I'm not sure I'd want to teach in a room with chalkboards instead of dry erase boards. If a chalkboard fell off the wall, class would be dismissed.

Not hypothetically -- I once taught in a building that had previously been rendered unusable by Hurricane Katrina. It was not initially a classroom, but some other building repurposed for classes as our satellite campus was wiped out by the Storm. In the middle of a lecture, two panels fell from the ceiling, releasing particles and dust and a hopeless amount of spiders. You better believe that I cancelled class right then and there.

I once had a wasp flying around the classroom. Every time it took flight, my whole class would suddenly duck and a number of students were running for cover. I finally decided that even though it didn't seem particularly likely to sting anyone, I was going to have to deal with it. I borrowed a book from a student, stood on a chair and whacked it when it landed on the exit sign. That dealt with the wasp, but the exit sign also came loose and dangled there supported on one side for the rest of the semester. I kept thinking I was going to get in trouble in some way...

Never had any experiences of this sort in a classroom, but did once have to deal with a bat that had invaded our university library.  I was able to open a window and chase it out without harming it.  How it got in remains a mystery.  Some months later the same thing happened, on another staff member's watch. 

These aren't the only bat invasions I've either witnessed or heard about.  Bats have a way of showing up in the oddest places.

[apl68]

Here's another hypothetical situation:  The lights go out in the middle of a class.  It's in the daytime and not storming, so there is still light to see by.  Does the class continue?

[mamselle]

Depends on whether it's an art history class and I'm showing slides, or not...

;--》

M.

[Aster]

Hypothetically, I would love to locate examples of final exams in my discipline from way back in the 1940's and 1950's.

And then (after updating outdated content and colloquial grammar), give that thing to today's students.

And see if anyone at all could pass it. Heck, I'd like to see if I could pass it.

[apl68]

Depends on whether it's an art history class and I'm showing slides, or not...

;--》

M.

Good answer!

Yes, it would make sense that any class using AV media would be in real trouble.  In my undergrad days classes were still mostly "sage on the stage" lectures.  We actually DID have a power outage one day, and no instructor in the building I was in even broke stride.  I happened to be sitting in the back of the classroom, and could hear the prof in the next room, who happened to be blind.  He continued as if nothing had happened.  When the lights went back on I heard him say to his students "Oh they did?  Well that's wonderful!"

Incidentally, he once taught a class I was in a session that involved visual aids.  And did quite a good job of it, IIRC.

[mamselle]

I was taking an art history pedagogy guided study (by sitting in on an intro class and writing comment papers and discussing them with the instructor) early in my grad school days.

The prof's tenure hearing was due soon, and the provost was due to visit the class at some point.

It so happened to be the day one of the two slide projectors broke down.

This provost was particularly clueless...(I had run-ins with him later) and the RA (an undergraduate), who was supposed to run the booth, lacked any initiative at all. The RA should have gone immediately for a backup projector, but didn't know where the storage area was, and so she just sat there.

I offered to help run the slides (they were doubles; only one projector had broken down, so I could have fed them in alternate pairs) but the instructor panicked and told me not to...she then tried to lecture from one-half the tray contents, but couldn't, so let the class study on their own instead.

Apparently her pubs were low and she was female (two reasons not to grant tenure at that place) so she was given a terminal year not long afterwards.

Later, I wondered if someone sabotaged the booth...there were a couple of characters on the faculty who might have done such a thing....sorry to say.

Sorry, this is moving away from the hypothetical to the simply awful.

But it wouldn't have been believed in fiction, either...

M.

[ergative]

What would you do if the chalkboard fell off the wall? Continue teaching? Dismiss class because the room is trying to kill you and you need to go have the vapors?

Hypothetically, I'm not sure I'd want to teach in a room with chalkboards instead of dry erase boards. If a chalkboard fell off the wall, class would be dismissed.

Not hypothetically -- I once taught in a building that had previously been rendered unusable by Hurricane Katrina. It was not initially a classroom, but some other building repurposed for classes as our satellite campus was wiped out by the Storm. In the middle of a lecture, two panels fell from the ceiling, releasing particles and dust and a hopeless amount of spiders. You better believe that I cancelled class right then and there.

I once had a wasp flying around the classroom. Every time it took flight, my whole class would suddenly duck and a number of students were running for cover. I finally decided that even though it didn't seem particularly likely to sting anyone, I was going to have to deal with it. I borrowed a book from a student, stood on a chair and whacked it when it landed on the exit sign. That dealt with the wasp, but the exit sign also came loose and dangled there supported on one side for the rest of the semester. I kept thinking I was going to get in trouble in some way...

Not the hero that your admins want, but definitely the hero your students need.

[Biologist_]

Here's another hypothetical situation:  The lights go out in the middle of a class.  It's in the daytime and not storming, so there is still light to see by.  Does the class continue?

I had a power outage shortly after lecture began a few years ago. My lecture included a bunch of primary literature slides that I wanted students to analyze, so I couldn't easily switch to drawing on the chalkboard. However, I realized that half of the students had printed the slides and a third of them had laptops with the slides. I told them to share with each other and follow along on whatever version they had, so we were able to continue fairly well. I just couldn't point at anything on the screen.

[writingprof]

Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if your college president had a bad habit of saying "If anyone thinks they can get [easily achievable thing that any reasonable human with a will could do] done, feel free to take my job"?

[mahagonny]

Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if your college president had a bad habit of saying "If anyone thinks they can get [easily achievable thing that any reasonable human with a will could do] done, feel free to take my job"?

Suggest that he hire some new administrators who won't get it done either, but will show how serious we are about it?

[Dr. F.]

Here's another hypothetical situation:  The lights go out in the middle of a class.  It's in the daytime and not storming, so there is still light to see by.  Does the class continue?

Not hypothetical: Yes. Was teaching cellular respiration. It was a good gut check to make sure I could draw all of the structures on a chalkboard. 400 students in the room. Yeah. I still have nightmares.