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Long term effect of depression on research ability?

Started by Liquidambar, February 12, 2020, 08:28:41 PM

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Liquidambar

Are there long term effects of depression on ability to do research?  (Anecdotal info is fine; I don't need scientific studies.)

I spent my first 5 years on the tenure track with off and on major depression and pretty bad anxiety.  Much of that revolved around work.  Fortunately, I was able to overcome it with treatment and have been fine for about 8 years now.  However, I have not regained my interest/joy in research.  Research used to be fun when I was a student or a postdoc.  Now it's a thing that I don't hate, but most of the time I'd rather be doing something else.  I thought I'd eventually get over this, but it seems to be a permanent change.  Unsurprisingly, my research output has dropped substantially.

I did some web searching about long term effects of depression, but the info I found mostly related to likelihood of recurrence, or to memory issues.  I didn't read anything that seemed relevant to research ability.  Perhaps I should have looked for effects of depression on creative output, since that could be analogous.  Anyone here have experience with this?
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. ~ Dirk Gently

Hegemony

Well, I think it's going to vary by person. Depression usually mutes a person's energy across the board, but not inevitably. I know someone who was in a profound state of depression, but her work was a bright spot in her life, and kept her getting up in the morning when she saw no other reason to. But if you're eight years past your depression, I'd say it's something else now, possibly the association between the research and your period of depression.

mamselle

Depression, as well as perimenopausal issues, may affect short-term memory retention, which makes it harder to keep ones research going.

A sense of urgency is harder to maintain, too, because ones evaluation of context and the value of ones own work are tied to ones sense of identity--and all those are at risk in the undertow the flows beneath the surface in depression.

I think they can be recovered: after leaving my abusive marriage in 1980, it took a year or so for me to work through those issues; fortunately, my dance history advisor and my godmother (a musicologist) were both insistent that I get back on track.

They kept showing me how much they valued my work, yelled at me once, when I was getting lackadaisical about turning in a conference paper, and supported me in referring it to a publication venue (where it was eventually accepted).

Tough love, I suppose, in a way, but it worked.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

Cheerful

Have you considered plain old boredom and burnout?  Plus the fact that few people read the output?

Maybe you need some distance from research for awhile and can come back to things with a fresh new perspective working on completely new projects.

Myword

Research and writing are my escape from a mild depression. Does not work for serious deeper depression. Nothing works except long relaxation. My studies require strong intense concentration and this pushes away distracting depressive thoughts. Try reading for very short periods without stress. Read in bed...a few pages or write something creative. This may be caused by the subject you are currently working on. Are you bored?  Burnout?

Volhiker78

During my career as a researcher,  I have been diagnosed with MDD 3 times, in 1995,  2001, and 2009.   My episodes have all been associated with anxiety although I do not have anxiety when in remission. During my MDD episodes,  I cannot do any research as I have trouble focusing.  I have been on antidepressants since 2001.  i don't think that the depression or antidepressants have affected my long term research ability but over that time, I have moved into different areas so that I could keep fresh.  Aging has decreased the energy that I can focus on any single topic.  I try to compensate for this by doing more collaborative research teams so that the ideas aren't all on me.   Good luck to you. 

professing

#6
I would assume that depression must have some effect on output and interest. As others here have said, it is possible that the association between the depression and your research may be causing the distancing effect you are experiencing.

Anxiety and mental health for faculty in academia are being increasingly documented (for example, here: https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2015/02/25/professors-reflections-his-battle-depression-touch-many-recent-disciplinary-meeting)

While bouts of depression and/or anxiety have not affected my interest in research long term, as you describe, I have experienced a correlation between short depressive episodes and lack of productivity. This is especially acute when I have worked very hard to produce high quality research and writing, often at the detriment of other projects and/or personal/family commitments, only to have setbacks due to what colleagues have classified as politics (e.g., not getting an article accepted due to something other than the quality of the study and writing), or when I feel incredibly overwhelmed by multiple competing obligations or deadlines.

From what I have read, these pressures have increased more recently (due to increasing tenure requirements, social media, constant productivity, etc), for both students and faculty. Unfortunately, the effects on faculty appear to be underexplored and not often discussed. What I can say is, before I became an academic (I had a prior career), I did not experience as much uncertainty, anxiety, isolation and bouts of depression as I have since becoming one.

What has worked for me is investing time in exercise, self-care and self forgiveness. Inspiration can often be hard to come by when you are locked onto the spinning wheel. Maybe some time away to renew and re-explore (sabbatical?) is warranted. Best of luck to you.

mahagonny

Your antidepressant medication may have stopped working or is having less effect.

polly_mer

Quote from: Liquidambar on February 12, 2020, 08:28:41 PM
However, I have not regained my interest/joy in research.  Research used to be fun when I was a student or a postdoc.  Now it's a thing that I don't hate, but most of the time I'd rather be doing something else.  I thought I'd eventually get over this, but it seems to be a permanent change.  Unsurprisingly, my research output has dropped substantially.

As others have written, this could be burnout or just a change as your life has changed.  I went back to scientific research after years away and it's fine, but I don't have the passion I had as a grad student/postdoc when I focused on one project and my life revolved mostly around moving that one project forward.

Now that I have a family life and hobbies, research is fine and I like my job, but I'm seldom in the office at 8 AM Saturday morning raring to go on research.  Indeed, given an option, I will do other parts of the job that I like better (e.g., organizing, outreach, on-boarding activities, review of applicants, mentoring, learning a new technology-related skill) over the routine activities necessary to move one of my research projects to the next step.  Being divided among multiple, all-but-unrelated projects means any one project doesn't get that full immersion I had as a grad student/postdoc and it means that, at any one time, multiple of my projects are in the less exciting preparing/shepherding stage instead of the exciting production/learning phase. 

Because I can't spend most of my work time every week on just the one fabulous project, nothing moves as fast as it used to and the excitement is frequently diluted.  The excitement is still there when I immerse myself, but my job has too many moving parts to just immerse myself in the one project for months at a time.
Quote from: hmaria1609 on June 27, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
Do whatever you want--I'm just the background dancer in your show!

Ruralguy

As a professor at a teaching focused college, the research aspect of my life is often similar to what Polly mentions for her very different sort of job. I can decide on what to do in my research, but considering demands of teaching and service, including working on student research, my projects often get diluted and always take much more time than expected.  As long as I am working on teaching and service I care about, I don't tend to run away from it either, seeking refuge in my research.

teach_write_research

Well I have found my people on this thread.

I was sitting here stuck in the academic Sunday evening crunch and stalled on some research tasks, pondering - why am I organized in pretty much every other aspect of my life, but with research I get so thoroughly disorganized. I can accept that various things contribute and be patient and forgive myself etc. It would also be nice to make some coherent progress.

mamselle

I think sometimes depression calcifies motivation.

M.
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

Reprove not a scorner, lest they hate thee: rebuke the wise, and they will love thee.

Give instruction to the wise, and they will be yet wiser: teach the just, and they will increase in learning.

youllneverwalkalone

Quote from: professing on February 18, 2020, 02:56:47 PM
While bouts of depression and/or anxiety have not affected my interest in research long term, as you describe, I have experienced a correlation between short depressive episodes and lack of productivity. This is especially acute when I have worked very hard to produce high quality research and writing, often at the detriment of other projects and/or personal/family commitments, only to have setbacks due to what colleagues have classified as politics (e.g., not getting an article accepted due to something other than the quality of the study and writing), or when I feel incredibly overwhelmed by multiple competing obligations or deadlines.

I could have written this myself, word for word. Nice to see people sharing similar experiences.

professing

Quote from: youllneverwalkalone on February 25, 2020, 12:23:38 AM
Quote from: professing on February 18, 2020, 02:56:47 PM
While bouts of depression and/or anxiety have not affected my interest in research long term, as you describe, I have experienced a correlation between short depressive episodes and lack of productivity. This is especially acute when I have worked very hard to produce high quality research and writing, often at the detriment of other projects and/or personal/family commitments, only to have setbacks due to what colleagues have classified as politics (e.g., not getting an article accepted due to something other than the quality of the study and writing), or when I feel incredibly overwhelmed by multiple competing obligations or deadlines.

I could have written this myself, word for word. Nice to see people sharing similar experiences.

Thank you! Good to know others feel and have experienced the same. It's never easy to feel you are the only one going through setbacks, and self doubt.