the "things you wish you could say" thread

[Thursday's_Child]

Notice to all short people daughter who is the same height as me, if not maybe an inch taller: 

If you use my car then put the seat back to where it was.

Ouch!

(And WHY do you find it necessary to put the seat way up under the blessed steering wheel?  And HOW can you even drive like that?!)

And, if the airbag goes off when you're that close, it'll really do you harm!

[ciao_yall]

And this is why we can't have nice things.

(Multiple recipients)

[Vkw10]

If you are going to write thank you notes for interviews, please proofread. It's better not to send them than to send them with multiple spelling errors, the wrong position title, and the wrong institution name.

[onehappyunicorn]

When your dire predictions on how events will affect our department fail to materialize, repeatedly, it is difficult for me to muster the amount of panic you feel I should exhibit. I honestly don't know what to say when you tell me that you are concerned that I don't understand how bad every situation is.

[Dismal]

When you hire a well-known retired government official and pay them $100K for a half-time, nine-month job at a state U, this person actually has to work.  Teaching, research, service and outreach - any combo of these.   And our nine month contracts don't include fall vacations of a week or more.

[Vkw10]

"Do more with less" is so last century. Today, the phrase is "be flexible and adapt to changing needs."

Yes, we heard about tight budgets. Again.

[Professor Autumn]

collaboration means that....working together.... hopefully to make things better...to learn, from each other

i said similar, in a more grumpy way coz i'm tired and ill

what i wish i could say is, i don't want to do this anymore if we can't at least talk about things

[fishbrains]

To two different people:

1. Making the students print everything at their own cost isn't "going paperless" you smug little f*ck.

2. I've made my thoughts clearly known concerning the area this committee covers, and my opinions are at odds with, and far more informed than, the other "stakeholders" on the committee (and, yes, it's very very unusual for me to know more than others on any given committee). Also, this isn't an area I compromise on. I don't know if you are f*cking with me or if someone is f*cking with you by putting me on this committee, but the College will regret this assignment.

[Antiphon1]

Bloviated, grandstanded, misrepresented lack of recall about your 30 year old social justice work doesn't give you any credibility.  As a matter of fact, using your position for self enrichment at the expense of the people you represent....... well, I'll let you figure it out.  Just shut up. 

[Bede the Vulnerable]

This institution will never be known for STEM, so stop pretending that it's our strength.

[FishProf]

You say you "really want to take this particular course because it will be the perfect compliment to my major and this is my last semester'.

I say, go blow butterflies up someone else's butt.  As a senior, you had first crack at registration, and this class filled up less than a week ago.  You are as bad a planner as you are a liar.

[hmaria1609]

To library patron: Early afternoon and you're already drunk.  No wonder you're being barred again--this time it's for a good while.

[nescafe]

LOL did you just "well actually" my twitter joke?

[nescafe]

No, mom, we didn't nuke the hurricane, and that is not why it missed Alabama.

(sorry for the double post... but I really needed to type that somewhere).

[FishProf]

Not everything is about you.

Not getting your way doesn't mean "no one listens to me".

You said you didn't want to participate, so why are you angry that you aren't being included?

I quit.

(The above are not in rank order)