the "things you wish you could say" thread

[fishbrains]

You know, full-grown adult men don't really think like that. You really are a creep.

[onehappyunicorn]

Our last posting for part-time ended up with around twenty total applicants, five of whom were disqualified by the system because they did not have the clearly listed qualifications. I really wish I could tell these people that they are completely wasting their time...

This is part of a culture that says "It doesn't hurt to ask" which really translates to "I'm so special, the rules don't apply to me."

Post-PhD (with MA and BA in hand also) I applied for an administrative assistant job that required an Associate's degree (no field specified), assuming that my other degrees, being higher, would allow me to qualify. I was summarily rejected for not meeting the "clearly listed qualifications." Maybe your applicants, like me, just made erroneous assumptions about whether their qualifications were equivalent or not.

AR.

Totally understandable in your circumstance. We are asking for the terminal degree in the field and applicants have to indicate that they hold that specific degree before completing the rest of the application. I'm sure that a big part of the problem is that we are an art field and there are people who think they qualify because they have experience as artists. That's why the very first question is whether they have the degree, if they indicate "no" then they cannot proceed. Doesn't stop a fair number from lying and going right on anyway.

You know, full-grown adult men don't really think like that. You really are a creep.

I sincerely wish that I didn't know exactly what you mean.

[Harlow2]

Unrelated.

Dear head of the college police force, at roughly 50%  your department has the worst vaccination rate by far at our college. Faculty and staff are at 90%. Shame on you

[AvidReader]

That's why the very first question is whether they have the degree, if they indicate "no" then they cannot proceed. Doesn't stop a fair number from lying and going right on anyway.

That would seem to waste their time too--but how frustrating!

AR.

[FishProf]

1) I am ready for the start of the semester next week.

2) The summer visit brought a closer, warmer, and deeper relationship with my folks.

3) Covid is inexorably on the wane.

Sadly, I predicted that I would be able to say all the above by now.

[ergative]

"The carpet moths are all dead and won't be coming back."

Little bastards.

[mahagonny]

As originally started by mountainguy

Title is pretty self-explanatory. Use this thread to say things that you wish you could say in real life, but know well enough to keep to yourself:

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?? Fire me??"

"That might have been trendy . . . in 1975."

What I Wish I Could Say (WIWICS): you don't get jokes, do you?

what's missing: a thread called 'things you wish you could say on a forum filled with academics, under a pseudonym.'

[mamselle]

That's the "Asides" thread...

M.

[sinenomine]

Okay, administration — you've scheduled 36 required meetings next week over 4 days, running 9:00 to 5:00, and you expect attendees to be engaged, focused, and interactive. Do you know anything about pedagogy? This is brutal!

[the_geneticist]

Okay, administration — you've scheduled 36 required meetings next week over 4 days, running 9:00 to 5:00, and you expect attendees to be engaged, focused, and interactive. Do you know anything about pedagogy? This is brutal!

Ugh!  Are they are least providing food & caffeine?  Or comfortable chairs?

[sinenomine]

Okay, administration — you've scheduled 36 required meetings next week over 4 days, running 9:00 to 5:00, and you expect attendees to be engaged, focused, and interactive. Do you know anything about pedagogy? This is brutal!

Ugh!  Are they are least providing food & caffeine?  Or comfortable chairs?

Uncomfortable chairs and only two meals...

[the_geneticist]

Okay, administration — you've scheduled 36 required meetings next week over 4 days, running 9:00 to 5:00, and you expect attendees to be engaged, focused, and interactive. Do you know anything about pedagogy? This is brutal!

Ugh!  Are they are least providing food & caffeine?  Or comfortable chairs?

Uncomfortable chairs and only two meals...

Bring a seat cushion and snacks!  If you knit or crochet, bring yarn for a mindless project. 

[Langue_doc]

To the idiots who don't seem to know the meaning of the word "pet" or the responsibilities associated with keeping pets:

What were you thinking, keeping a cougar in an apartment in NYC? Also, the idiot who got bitten by his pet tiger and thought that the ER wouldn't know the difference between a tiger bite and a dog bite? The idiots who keep alligators in apartments and think that they don't need bodies of water to survive?

Didn't your neighbors complain? Didn't you think that the cougar would like to run and play outdoors?

The latest is the story of Sasha, the cougar, whose owners belatedly realized that cougars grow to adulthood.

https://gothamist.com/arts-entertainment/80-pound-cougar-cub-removed-bronx-apartment

As for the alligator, he was seen crossing the street presumably to get to the river.  https://abc7ny.com/alligator-inwood-nypd-animal/876667/

The NYTimes, as usual, got to the cougar story after seeing it in the local newspapers. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/31/nyregion/cougar-sasha-rescued-bronx.html

[apl68]

Sasha is reportedly about to be relocated here:


https://www.turpentinecreek.org/


I've never visited Turpentine Creek.  Nearby Eureka Springs is a pretty amazing town.

[the_geneticist]

Unrelated to above.


Look "Universal Teaching Design" does NOT mean just letting students do whatever they want to show what they have learned.  I know not all students are good at taking tests.  That's why they also have quizzes, worksheets, & presentations.  Having multiple types of assessments is part of Universal Design.
No, I will not give students the option to make a video or write a paper or make a paper-mache diagram of a cell - they get to take an exam.