the "things you wish you could say" thread

[ergative]

I like and respect you enormously; you've gone to budgetary bat multiple times for my lab and are doing me a personal favor by meeting with me on this topic now. I'm very grateful to you and all you've done for me.

That said, golly gee wow did my respect you for take a wet-fish smack-in-the-face when you got so defensive about mask-wearing. It's not the refusal to mask up (no one does that, no regulations require it anymore). It's the reaction to me doing nothing more than walking into your office with a mask on. I wear a mask everywhere indoors. It's just what I do.  I know no one wears them indoors anymore. I wasn't going to give you grief about it.

I wonder whether, deep down inside, you have doubts about going bare-nosed when numbers are rising again, and the defensiveness is an attempt to defend yourself from your own better judgment. Because you're a smart person; your judgment is probably pretty good.

Anyway, thanks very much for the advice. As usual, you were very helpful. Stay well.

[Istiblennius]

Being a good human is such a low bar to fail to clear. Nonetheless, you seem to have crashed into it again.
As hard as it is to deal with you, it must be truly awful to be you - so small and mean-spirited.

[mahagonny]

Being a good human is such a low bar to fail to clear. Nonetheless, you seem to have crashed into it again.
As hard as it is to deal with you, it must be truly awful to be you - so small and mean-spirited.

Hah. I've seen these kinds of putdowns before. Used them too. Taking the high road. 'I care about you -- I feel sorry for you. Because you have to be such a wretched person.' It's about them, and it's about you too. It's calling someone an ass, which is, you know, not such a nice thing to do... while painting a halo on yourself.
Does it work? I think it depends on the audience.

[sinenomine]

Thanks so much for throwing me under the bus, accusing me of not doing my job. Meanwhile, the person whose job it was gets a free pass. Perhaps you should figure out who does what at a college.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Oh my God! Can we please finish this meeting instead of fixating on decisions that have already been made? There is no emoji to express my level of frustration and annoyance at this moment.

[fishbrains]

Oh my God! Can we please finish this meeting instead of fixating on decisions that have already been made? There is no emoji to express my level of frustration and annoyance at this moment.

Oh, yeah.

[the_geneticist]

Oh my God! Can we please finish this meeting instead of fixating on decisions that have already been made? There is no emoji to express my level of frustration and annoyance at this moment.

Gah!

Or fretting about the fact that we can't know all of the possible outcomes of said already made decision.

[OneMoreYear]

Oh my God! Can we please finish this meeting instead of fixating on decisions that have already been made? There is no emoji to express my level of frustration and annoyance at this moment.

Gah!

Or fretting about the fact that we can't know all of the possible outcomes of said already made decision.

Have we all been attending the same meetings this week?

[FishProf]

All meetings are the same meeting.

[the_geneticist]

Dear Dean,
Did you *really* ask "how can we convince fewer incoming students to choose STEM"?  You could show them our terrible classrooms! Get Dr. Horrible Exam Writer back from retirement! Show them the depressing statistics for persistence in the major (especially for 1st gen., female, Pell-eligible, & minority students)! 
Or, you could, you know, invest in the infrastructure to support the students that WANT TO BE HERE.

[secundem_artem]

The hardest part of grading is staying the same degree of drunk or high for all of the papers. 

[mahagonny]

The semester's half over, and I haven't seen you act like a serious adult for even five minutes in row. Have I just been unlucky, or is that your entire story after 20 years on the planet?

[ergative]

Your weekly construction progress update is one of the highlights of my week. Your writing style is a delight; your wit and humour shine through all the discussions of window snagging and louver installation and eschatology in general. Please never change.

[mahagonny]

Your weekly construction progress update is one of the highlights of my week. Your writing style is a delight; your wit and humour shine through all the discussions of window snagging and louver installation and eschatology in general. Please never change.

I think I'd just go ahead and say it.

[dr_evil]

Yes, you have been very helpful and I appreciate it, but please don't treat me like a child. I am not a child and have not been one for way too many years.

I should probably just say this one for real, but it either a) wouldn't be heard or b) would encourage defensiveness.