the "things you wish you could say" thread

[nescafe]

I can't believe I have to tell you this, but my name isn't Andrea.

[Parasaurolophus]

I can't believe I have to tell you this, but my name isn't Andrea.

Similarly: My name is Parasaurolophus, not Pare a sore ollofuss.

I let it slide one time a year ago because I was caught by surprise, but now... it's too late, I can't correct it now. Sigh.

[mamselle]

No, Verizon, it is not my fault you've linked my work phone and my home fios accounts!

You fix it and you send me the gift card sign-up again after you do.

I shouldn't have to spend nearly 2 hours trying to sort out something the gremlins in your machines tangled up.

And let me know when it's fixed so I don't waste more time trying to sign up for the gift card until it is! (Oh, I did say that...)

M.

[ab_grp]

To organizers of international document with expert contributors: I do not think you will receive author drafts that use the non-standard Word list format that you have requested.  It is hard enough using standard formats and the auto-"correcting" that occurs.  I have already spent way more time than it's worth to format this way, at least at this stage.  I doubt the folks who are way senior to me are taking the time to figure this out. 

I realize the above is pretty whiny, but (wait! there's more!) I feel like required formatting takes up a more and more disproportionate amount of my time compared to content generation.  Different journals, different clients all want different (and not always, or even usually, standard) formatting.  It makes sense later on in the publication process, maybe, but probably only barebones should be required at the initial submission stage, with the focus on content.  I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that, but researchers may not be likely to be able to meet weirdly specific formatting requirements in general.  Even less likely for these requests to be heeded when you've asked individuals from all over the place to contribute to an important document that probably falls outside their reward structures. 

[Liquidambar]

I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

[ab_grp]

I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.

[Liquidambar]

I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.

For your convenience...
ransom note TeX (scroll down--first thing is about PostScript)
Cthulhu-worshipping madman TeX
I didn't spend enough time searching, so there could be better approaches out there.

[ab_grp]

I mean, you probably shouldn't clip out different print fonts from different sources and paste them into some creepy representation of your paper and submit that

What?  That's how I write all my papers!

(Your post sent me down a rabbit hole trying to find a LaTeX* package to format a paper that way.  There's nothing official, but I found a version on a forum.  I also found several methods designed to format LaTeX so it looks like the writing of a Cthulhu-worshipping madman, so that was nice.)

* LaTeX = typesetting language used by authors in CS, math, and physics

I haven't used LaTeX much since grad school because my org does not deal with it, but I am definitely going to take a look for that package! There may come a time in the near future when I will want to make a statement.  That could be useful.  Thanks! Cheered me right up.

For your convenience...
ransom note TeX (scroll down--first thing is about PostScript)
Cthulhu-worshipping madman TeX
I didn't spend enough time searching, so there could be better approaches out there.

This is great.  Thanks again.  Playing around with these packages can be considered professional development time to get back up to speed with LaTeX.  Don't want to get too rusty!

[fishbrains]

I was right, and you were wrong. Again. I know my being right is eating you up, but I still don't care about the topic any more than when you first asked me about it.

Smooth on and move on, bruh. Or whatever the kids say today.

[archaeo42]

Dude, calm down. Your intensity and disbelief that only retirees are interested in volunteering with this group is probably why you're having a hard time finding a backup for the website. That and using 20 year old HTML...when there are systems out there with much more user friendly design and interfaces that just about anyone can use.

[Liquidambar]

When you asked a dozen people for feedback on something and I sent you a lengthy brain dump, I didn't expect you would use my brain dump almost verbatim as an official departmental document.  Okay, I get that nobody else sent you anything, but you're the chair and it's your job to nag them.  (At least you removed the part where I mentioned names of administrators in a less than complimentary manner.)

[mahagonny]

At faculty meeting:
Chair: I am publishing a book as spokesman for our department, which is our solemn duty, as a world leader of pedagogy. I would like your input before editing.
Professor A: All this was explained definitively in my book several years ago.
Chair: Well and good, but it doesn't count until it appears in my book.
Me: It doesn't count then either.

[FishProf]

Please just shut up.  Your whining is out of control.

1) The professor doesn't have to give you a study guide.  Take notes.
2) The professor doesn't have to give partial credit on lab practicals.  He doesn't.  Arguing with him about it is pointless.  And annoying.   That he only said "You aren't going to change my mind about this" was a sign of restraint, not disrespect, on his part.
3)Nothing you are complaining about is something I can act on, even if I were so inclined.  Which I am not.
4) In a year, you will need a letter of recommendation to get into PA school.  You have now annoyed every professor who teaches the relevant  classes.  This will not go well for you.
5) The grade you are complaining about from last semester was your HIGHEST grade last semester.  Not the one you want to point out as being obviously unfair.
6) I am not the person to complain to about the class expectations being too high.  I set the expectations.  I enforce them.  Your complaints are reinforcing my opinion that the class is being run properly.

I may actually say all of these during our meeting this morning.

[mamselle]

PA = Physician's Assistant?

Wow.

Hold firm.

M.

[mahagonny]

Please just shut up.  Your whining is out of control.

1) The professor doesn't have to give you a study guide.  Take notes.
2) The professor doesn't have to give partial credit on lab practicals.  He doesn't.  Arguing with him about it is pointless.  And annoying.   That he only said "You aren't going to change my mind about this" was a sign of restraint, not disrespect, on his part.
3)Nothing you are complaining about is something I can act on, even if I were so inclined.  Which I am not.
4) In a year, you will need a letter of recommendation to get into PA school.  You have now annoyed every professor who teaches the relevant  classes.  This will not go well for you.
5) The grade you are complaining about from last semester was your HIGHEST grade last semester.  Not the one you want to point out as being obviously unfair.
6) I am not the person to complain to about the class expectations being too high.  I set the expectations.  I enforce them.  Your complaints are reinforcing my opinion that the class is being run properly.

I may actually say all of these during our meeting this morning.

I don't anything that you shouldn't be able to say, since you are sure it's accurate.