the "things you wish you could say" thread

[the_geneticist]

"not my class, not my students, not my problem"
I took over responsibility for the class for SUMMER only.  You hired someone else to manage the course for Fall.  If they fail to do something, that's on them/you to fix.

[AmLitHist]

I absolutely adore Blackboard Collaborate. It works so well and is so user friendly. And this idea of having me teach two sections live virtual lecture (LVL) instead of just putting them online is fabulous--students are so engaged that I can barely get a word in. 

I'm going to head outside now to take pictures of all the pigs flying past my windows, right next to the unicorns pooping rainbows.

[fishbrains]

Um, yeah, about your assertion that your daughter is a "good student":

• "Good students" submit their work on-time. Wait a minute, nix that. "Good students" submit their work.
• "Good students" complete preparatory work like pre-writing exercises, watching explanatory videos, and actually reading emails from their instructors.
• "Good students" don't spend more time writing long, whiny-a$$ emails to my dean about how unfair life is than they do completing assignments in the course(s) they are complaining about."
• "Good students" don't get Mommy to try to bail them out of their self-created life situations.

Good grief.

[onehappyunicorn]

Why in the actual hell are kicking that hornet's nest? What is wrong with you? Your actions are going to make things much worse for all of us you ass.
If you really want to pick a fight you live in a town full of dive bars, go take out your aggression at one of them.

[EdnaMode]

Dear Administrator,

My apologies that you resent the implication that you're not doing your job. You misunderstood. There was no imply about it. And if we're flinging around resentment, I resent being kept in the dark about the screwups in the process that are making things difficult, and potentially dangerous, for everyone. Those are your fault. Stop trying to shift the blame.

All the best,

EM

[arcturus]

Dear Government Agency,

Your position on this matter is making our nation look stupid. While other nations are also taking unusual policy positions on this issue, yours is flouting the natural laws of physics. In the future, it would be helpful if you acknowledged basic scientific facts before developing a science policy opinion that you then foist on the rest of us.

Sincerely,
Fed-Up

[mamselle]

Dear Student's father:

You may indeed have a lot on your mind, but losing your eldest son's ADHD meds when it's so hard to replace them at the moment is unconscionable.

IN SPITE of his insecurities, anxieties, and moments of confusion, he STILL had an excellent lesson, even while having to make up for all the deficiencies you inflicted on him--and the bad-mouthing I know goes on when no-one else is around (because I've heard it coming up the stairs...).

I'm so much more impressed with his maturity and his musicianship in the face of all this, than I already was.

You need to grow up and take some responsibility here.

M.

[FishProf]

You get to speak for yourself.   As does everyone else in the class.  It is the height of arrogance to think you should speak for others. 

[hmaria1609]

You read what I read because you were copied on that e-mail.

[Vkw10]

HR, please don't just send emails telling employees that COVID-19 modification requests are extended for months, so they need to complete remote work forms for spring semester. Copy the supervisor, too. You might also  email all supervisors to tell them that medication guidelines have been updated, so they need to review the updated guidelines.

[the_geneticist]

Dear overly anxious new TA,
Yes, labs are entirely online.  Yes, they are challenging & effective.  Yes, the students do learn a lot.  Just because you "can't picture how this is going to work" doesn't mean it's impossible.  No, I will not send you "all the materials for labs" right now.  You'll get them the same time as the other TAs in 2 weeks.  You know, when your contract starts.  Calm down and do something else in your last few weeks of Summer.

[Vkw10]

The report is due today, so you'll have two weeks to compile data. You'll get it before I go home today. Contacting me repeatedly to remind me that it's due today is wasting my time.

[jimbogumbo]

The two of you are both despicable asswipes.

[ergative]

I'm glad you've found a situation that works for you. Do you realize that this arrangement that you spent all summer faffing about before settling on was exactly the same arrangement that I suggested back in May? Because I do. I spent all fracking summer trying to get you to agree on something consistent---no no no! you said. Students will indeed appreciate a variety of approaches across different teachers on different days. They will find it invigorating and exciting! No need for us to deliver some logistically coherent online class. Let us all do our own thing!

Now it is September and you're all basically doing exactly the same thing that I suggested back in May. All that is different is that you think you came up with it on your own. And you know what? I'm happy to let you have that. I don't insist on being credited with this idea. Honestly, it's not a tremendously innovative idea, and I really don't care who is credited with it. But I deeply wish that I hadn't spent all summer trying to drag you towards something and getting jerked around and blown off by you if the identical endpoint could have been reached back in May.

[ab_grp]

If you win this [professional org] election, I'll eat your tiara.