the "things you wish you could say" thread

[alto_stratus]

You probably shouldn't have done what you just did, and judging from the way you closed the door before broaching the subject and kept the whole conversation off email you know it too. But you did it to help me and the only person it hurts is the faceless system in charge of holding the hoops I must jump through, so I'm not going to say anything. But although you acted in kindness and I'll benefit from it, I'm going to lost just a tiny bit of respect for you because of it, and that makes me a little bit sad.

Free donut?

[ergative]

You probably shouldn't have done what you just did, and judging from the way you closed the door before broaching the subject and kept the whole conversation off email you know it too. But you did it to help me and the only person it hurts is the faceless system in charge of holding the hoops I must jump through, so I'm not going to say anything. But although you acted in kindness and I'll benefit from it, I'm going to lost just a tiny bit of respect for you because of it, and that makes me a little bit sad.

Free donut?

Alas, no. I would never lose respect for anyone who gives me free donuts, no matter what underhanded skullduggery they must commit to do it.

[downer]

Dear student

Look. You keep on sending me hints about teaching. In principle, that's great. Your ideas might be great. I don't doubt that. However, I have my own ways of teaching. If you want to teach, then get a teaching job. To be honest, I don't have enough time to even consider your suggestions. Other jobs to do to pay the bills.

[mamselle]

Interesting. I have one family of three music students, each of whom from time-to-time try to tell me how I could teach them better.

I've never seen/heard this before, but it seems to be a thing with them (?maybe others) that is meant to show they're on top of things and are paying attention to the nature of the subject matter and to good pedagogical practices. I don't think it's just to get out of the work.

This group of kids varies in what they want. The youngest complained I wasn't "supporting" her by having her review pieces she knew well, when I thought we'd moved on from those awhile ago and didn't want to bore her....so, maybe my miscalculation, but it also seemed as if it might have been a way of negotiating my demands downwards, or a sign of low self-esteem that I hadn't picked up on (she's pretty bright and energetic, so her presentation didn't lead me that way, but that in itself can be misleading, or a learned deflection pattern).

I'd had her older sister for recorder much earlier; she quit, one day, giving no reason, then appeared a couple years later (after the younger sister and older brother had signed on for keyboard and voice respectively) wanting to do voice work, but only pop stuff and no vowel-consonant studies (she'd done diction training to correct a speech defect as a child, and "didn't want to do more of that work, she knew it already," or something like that) and that pop was fine with me, so long as it's not screamed.

I also explained we'd need to do some diction work because it differs for singing, but we hadn't gotten very far before she complained she also didn't want to do the (agreed, sometimes goofy, bend-over-and-sing) warmups one does to get the support muscles working properly, and quit again. (She's taken up and dropped at least 6 musical pursuits I know of, so I'm not feeling too bad about it, but still...)

Their brother has, on the other hand, been most resilient and thoughtful--and has continued the longest, progressing through upper-voice training to keyboard to lower-voice and keyboard work after his Bar Mitzvah and voice change (as his rabbi jokes, "I'm really good at getting them 'over the change'...)

But he, too, at times, will suggest things he thinks I should do to be a better teacher--or to teach him better.

In his case, there's a difference: he has diagnosed delayed hearing and management issues, and he's worked quite hard at figuring out how to tell people what he needs without being whiny or pleading about it. If he asks for something that seems too clunky, we try to find a work-around, and we've arrived at certain practices that actually do help him--and two of my other students, who deal with other learning issues.

The difference among them seems to be that the two girls never give advance warning, or ask for a change before quitting. I'd have gladly worked with them, as I have with their brother, if I'd realized we needed to address options I didn't know they might need or want.

Par contre, their brother brings up an idea, we discuss it, and if I can't find a way to implement it, we figure out an agreeable option, or else we try what he's asking for anyway (and it often does work better).

So--motivations can vary, abilities to handle the need for teaching adjustments can vary, and I don't claim to know everything about how to teach every individual, so I'm open to learning, as well.

Anecdotal n=3, for what it's worth; it may just be a new thing....but I have to confess (n=4) I may have done this a few times with my own teachers...

M.

[EdnaMode]

Dear Mother of a Friend,

Really? You ranted, and knowing you, it wasn't a joke, in a reply to my FB post how I wasted your time because you read my April Fool's post about how my partner and I were going to quit our jobs, move to the beach, and sell painted rocks and cheap sunglasses to tourists and you took it seriously until you read the other replies? Uhm, you're retired and do nothing but post "inspirational" memes on FB all day. AND I specifically noted in the post that it was April 1st. So the minute or so it took you to read my post and the replies was a waste of your time? Sure.

Have an excellent rest of your April 1st. Hope no one else wastes your time in such an egregious fashion.

EM

[mamselle]

Chuckling.

I played a 4 x 4 chorale-form "April Fool's" song today for the theory class (formal analysis--they got it correctly), and the youngest said, "Oh, I almost forgot. I have to go put a bunch of extra towels in my parents' bathroom for April Fools...."

I'm still trying to figure out how that's an April Fool, but he was certainly looking forward to their response.

M.

[Langue_doc]

Someone should have taken you out to the woodshed for a whopping a long time ago.

[AmLitHist]

We're all smart. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

[paultuttle]

The spring pollen season is now OVER.

[mamselle]

For you, maybe...

;--}

Oh, wait, I get it.

You wish it really WERE over....

Sorry.

M.

[Harlow2]

You are responsible for reading the emails about the meeting with the candidates before it begins so we don't make idiots of ourselves.

[fishbrains]

You are one creepy motherf*cker . . .

[arcturus]

You are responsible for reading the emails about the meeting with the candidates before it begins so we don't make idiots of ourselves.

When my students report that an interview went poorly, I often comment that that is a good thing. You do not want to work with people who are not even able to run an interview well.

[mamselle]

I wish I could say, "I'm so glad all the D.A.C.L. volumes are in the same, downloadable place."

Unfortunately, they're not.

Grrr...

M.

[FishProf]

ALL of you in this union meeting complaining there aren't enough people running for office are, to a person, NOT running.

Just shut up.