the "things you wish you could say" thread

[apl68]

TA, when I ask for times you are available for exam grading, providing me with times before the exam occurs is not at all helpful. Or perhaps you have a time machine?

Such a helpful TA to want to pre-grade all the exams!

I'm having to tell TAs that when class attendance for TAs is "required", that YES it means that the TAs have to be there in person.  Why? Because they are helping with in-class activities.  Promising to look at the slides after and "staying all caught up" is not acceptable.

Don't know what TAs are paid at your place, but I know from experience that it's often not enough to motivate dedicated service.  I recall from my TA days being paid a few cents an hour above minimum wage to grade for a class, but not to attend class and keep up with what was actually going on.  It was just understood that we would do that for free.  If you were at all diligent in taking care of class duties, you might well end up with an average hourly compensation below the then minimum wage.

We did it anyway, since it was expected.  Today's generation presumably can't be expected to respect norms like that. Can't say as they can be blamed with regard to that particular sort of professional norm.

[Langue_doc]

Don't know what TAs are paid at your place, but I know from experience that it's often not enough to motivate dedicated service.

TA-ing is a choice, as is enrolling in grad school. Not wanting to do the work they signed up for is the height of entitlement. Putting on the "woe is me, I didn't realize I had to do the work/follow protocols/follow a schedule/understand the requirements of the job" isn't likely to endear them to the professor or the department or earn them any LORs.

[the_geneticist]

TA, when I ask for times you are available for exam grading, providing me with times before the exam occurs is not at all helpful. Or perhaps you have a time machine?

Such a helpful TA to want to pre-grade all the exams!

I'm having to tell TAs that when class attendance for TAs is "required", that YES it means that the TAs have to be there in person.  Why? Because they are helping with in-class activities.  Promising to look at the slides after and "staying all caught up" is not acceptable.

Don't know what TAs are paid at your place, but I know from experience that it's often not enough to motivate dedicated service.  I recall from my TA days being paid a few cents an hour above minimum wage to grade for a class, but not to attend class and keep up with what was actually going on.  It was just understood that we would do that for free.  If you were at all diligent in taking care of class duties, you might well end up with an average hourly compensation below the then minimum wage.

We did it anyway, since it was expected.  Today's generation presumably can't be expected to respect norms like that. Can't say as they can be blamed with regard to that particular sort of professional norm.

Ours are paid well (same or better than research only) and have a good union.  Their contract is very specific. I can reasonably expect "fulfills assigned duties".

[ciao_yall]

Torn between...

1) Keep digging because you are wrong and only making me look good.

VS

2) STFU you are stressing out our boss instead of helping us focus on a solution because you are wrong!

[ciao_yall]

I was not kidding when I told you I wear asbestos underwear.

[Liquidambar]

Wow.  You've said some insulting things about my department, but I wasn't expecting to be insulted in a letter nominating you for an award.  That takes talent.

[hmaria1609]

To adult patron: You, you, and you need to bring your own stuff with you. We're not your personal Staples store.

[apl68]

To adult patron: You, you, and you need to bring your own stuff with you. We're not your personal Staples store.

What are they trying to get, besides the occasional pencil, paper clip, or use of the stapler?  That's usually all our patrons ask for.

[bio-nonymous]

 TO Difficult Colleague: "I completely understand that you are unhappy here. SO, could you please work harder to get an R01 so you can leave our department and thus stop being the A#%h)*e that no one can stand."

[sinenomine]

Dear colleague: I know you used to have the role that I now have. Please don't act like you still do and answer queries with incorrect information. You're confusing people at best and igniting firestorms at worst. Just refer the queries to me!

[sinenomine]

Dear leadership: Thank you for finally providing the tool we've all been asking for for months. Frustratingly, what you've given us is pretty much useless. It's like you promised us a hammer and instead gave us a pair of pliers.

[the_geneticist]

Dear leadership people,
When we have an emergency because our building is old & badly needing updates, sending a reply that many other buildings on campus are also falling apart & clearly more important is a bad look.

[apl68]

[Gossipy Staff Member], you have rather more fenestration on your house than behooves somebody lobbing the kind of rocks you're lobbing.

[sonoamused]

What are they trying to get, besides the occasional pencil, paper clip, or use of the stapler?  That's usually all our patrons ask for.

Envelopes. Stamps. Test books. Highlighters. Pens. Index Cards. Sharpies.  Colored pencils for research posters.   USB drives.  Tissues (noses are too sensitive for TP, apparently).  Even cold meds.

They seem to mistake us for the local corner store and are shocked when we tell them these things are all available for sale in multiple locations nearby.

[apl68]

What are they trying to get, besides the occasional pencil, paper clip, or use of the stapler?  That's usually all our patrons ask for.

Envelopes. Stamps. Test books. Highlighters. Pens. Index Cards. Sharpies.  Colored pencils for research posters.   USB drives.  Tissues (noses are too sensitive for TP, apparently).  Even cold meds.

They seem to mistake us for the local corner store and are shocked when we tell them these things are all available for sale in multiple locations nearby.

We just get asked for writing implements, scratch paper, the occasional paper clip, and use of our stapler.  I guess at small-town libraries people just expect less.